I thought it would be nice to have a place to rant or rave about work.
For example I'm very over work right now. My one co worker (who is in the same office space as me) is being hella loud and rude all the time, our company software system is constantly messing up, inventory is at the end of the month. On top of all this I am completely slammed with work because I missed 3 days last week due to being sick from pregnancy symptoms. Ugh. I just don't want to have to deal with any of it but naturally cannot afford to quit before or after pregnancy.
Re: Working Moms w/o 6/17
I'd love to chat with others about day care plans. It's a huge source of anxiety for me and I'm already dreading leaving my little one to go back to work!
Does anyone have thoughts about home-based vs center-based daycares? What about choosing a place that is convenient to work vs convenient to home? (My home and work are about 20 min drive apart.)
Where I live, every day care already has a waiting list for winter, so while I'd like to have it all settled, that doesn't seem to be a possibility. 😣
I have a terrific job, but I'm very very burnt out from being the primary earner and I'm eagerly saving for early retirement.
On a side note, one of the reasons I’m trying to be my own boss is because of my health issues with epilepsy. I’ve lost my driving privileges twice, and sometimes have to take a few days off from driving for precautionary reasons, so being on a regular work schedule is pretty difficult for me.
Sort of wish we lived in Canada, lol.
Honestly, hoping maybe my books take off and for the next kid, I don't have to work for a company and can just be a stay-at-home author, haha.
@rjgmcmanus I believe you could be an author- don’t doubt yourself. One of the plethora of projects DH and I are working on is screenwriting a pilot, and honestly, I think it could be one of the most successful possibilities we have on the table at the moment!
@CapricaAndrea - I too am looking for a full time position to qualify for mat leave. That's gonna make a huge difference on what 2020 looks like. DH won't qualify for benefits as a co-founder either.
@blueskychicago12 Emily Oster's book Cribsheet has a whole section on how to make decisions between care options and the data of what we know about the outcomes (though I think the major choice she identifies is between nanny vs daycare).
Very cool that some some of you are in the film industry!
@cpk3535 I hope you and DH can find some that makes you happy. I switched jobs a couple of months ago, but my hiring manager knew I was pregnant, and it was within the same government department.
I also, simply, just don't want to be a full time parent. I don't want to be a full time anything!
I have a few friends who successfully found new employment while visibly pregnant. One gave birth about 6 wks after starting the job.
America is great in so many ways...but maternity leave is one way where we basically suck.
Kudos to those of you looking while pregnant and it can totally be done. I just had a friend who did this 5 months pregnant and negotiated all of the things she wanted as part of her package. She was up front and honest in the process that she was pregnant.
Looking for something else isn't and option for me, and not something I'm interested in. Thankfully with the business I have, income will still come in while I'm out. What I mean by not getting a maternity leave is that I will legitimately still have work to do. There is no out of office, have someone fill in for me for 12 weeks kind of deal sadly. Thankfully most of what will need to be done can be done remotely at home. I lost an employee and thankfully hired two new employees right as I found out so that the office stays operational and my main, longest tenured employee isn't burned out. The perk of my scenario is that once I am feeling ready, baby will come to work with me. Mentally working through what that looks like for a few months and then my parents aiding with childcare so I can add in two more office days.
I swear no one in my office has speakerphone/conference call courtesy. There are 4 of us in our office and 3 are doing a training together. Each week (Tuesday mornings) they hop on a conference call together in one of the offices. They turn the phone up to 11 and then sit as far away as possible from it so they have to yell to be heard. This week they left the office door open on top of it! come on have some brains!
Im nervous about what life is going to look like after baby too in terms of work. I moved to Toronto (to be with my husband) but the company is in California. Right now I go back once a month but I won’t be able to for long. And we just expanded.
Luckily since my husband is Canadian and works for a Canadian company he gets to take the leave for the baby. But I don’t think he’s going to take more than a couple month
I’m conflicted because I don’t want to fall behind on things at work and the longer you’re gone, the harder it is to come back. The plus side is that I should be out all of December and things slow way down during the holidays, so I’d hopefully not miss too much. My coworker who would be covering for me is newer to the department (been there a year) and just doesn’t have the experience and expertise yet for the role. In fairness, she was put there during a re-org and those that had the tenure and experience I have, left the company.
On the day care note:
My cousin had one of those nightmare situations. Their 9 month old died at the daycare. Autopsy results were inconclusive. So I refuse to use them. I don't say this to scare anyone else, it's just the reason I can't.
The bigger problem is I still have to work! My husband has Monday's off, my aunt has Fridays off and I have the weekend. If my employer is willing to give me Wednesday's off I can probably swing hiring a nanny for Tuesday and Thursday. But if not, I'm going to have to look into other options.
I'm already stressing about taking the 12 weeks off with only STD to help me out.
My best friend is a stay at home mom and was up in arms lately about, "should I send my 3 year old to preschool 2 days a week or will she miss me too much". I secretly resent her when I think about having to drop off my 3 month old for 9 hours a day.
Working on editing these books, and then onto submission...and praying someone likes them and wants to publish them and they take off so at least for the next kid, we don't have to deal with daycare and I don't have to deal with an actual job and I can just be on my own schedule, happily writing away and still earning a living, lol.
I'm sorry you have to hear about your friends stay at home mom struggles. I would be jealous too. I have similar feelings towards my boss. His wife is a SAHM and just had there second baby. Despite the fact that my job could 100% be done from home, he refuses to let me do it because it's not "company policy."
@rjgmcmanus - Good luck with the book! I read a lot of kindle unlimited and there are some great authors who started out writing just because it was there dream job. If nothing else you are putting yourself out there and I feel like that is always a good thing.
I'm also glad you can get some assistance. We are stuck in the middle where we make too much money for childcare assistance if I keep my job but would qualify if I wasn't working. But if I'm not working I dont need childcare! Grrr. We couldn't afford more than two days of childcare a week or it would make just as much sense for me to quit my job. If my work doesn't work with me as far as days/hours/at home work after the baby, it might come to that. We would have to scale back on so much though.
We almost thought we'd be in that same predicament until one of our Navy wife friends told us about the supplement program. She said that for officers' families, which we are and which she is, so she knows how it works, they typically cover one week of the month--which is a HUGE deal when a full month without assistance would be over a grand. That knocks it into the $750ish range per month. I guess enlisted get more coverage, but that makes sense, since they're not earning as much as officers. Unfortunately, there is a wait list for assistance, but we applied early enough that we should see it by the time baby comes around. We're also lucky to live in a military-friendly city, so our particular daycare that we're currently registered for offers a 5% military discount on top of the assistance program.
But yeah. Before I knew about all this, there were some serious thoughts about me maybe only working part-time. Daycare is no joke.
My reasons:
- I'm struggling with my mental health already and the extra pressure to breastfeed "right" I think will be triggering for me. I also want to be able to focus on work while at work and not stress
- dad wants to help take night shifts and feeds as well. Yes, I could pump but see first bullet point.
- our daycare cost includes the cost of formula while baby is there
- we can afford the cost of formula during this time
You need to do what is right for you and your family. Your baby is going to get the nutrition they need either way. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for that.
I do plan on breastfeeding as long as I can stand to pump at work. But this is my first baby, for all I know I might not be able to breastfeed. Not everyone can physically and emotionally. And that is perfectly okay.
That is really good news! The hubby has Monday's off and my aunt who is willing to watch the baby has Friday's off. That means we will only have to cover 2 days of a nanny. Thank goodness!
If I ever find a company with a similar position that is willing to let me work from home, then I would take it in a heartbeat.
@bookworm492 - Thanks, I agree. I wish it were different and maybe one day he will change his mind.
@mrszoobear that's good news that you'll be able to take Wednesdays off. At least they were willing to work with you in that regard.
I also second what @triwellnessgirl said about the biting. My daughter only bit a couple of times and when she did I yelped. She got the point quickly as it scared her - she’s also always been very sensitive. She did go through a phase of pretending like she was going to bite but wouldn’t actually because she thought it was funny. She was around 1 when that happened if I remember correctly.
I have always been more in line with your average city thinking while living in farm country. I wouldn't give up living here for anything. I love my small town (its why I never left). I love that everyone knows everyone, I love that if I need some urgently after the hardware store closes I can call Jim and he will open it up just to help me get my water heater fixed, and I love knowing the girls I went to high school with will be the same people cutting my hair or teaching my daughter in 2nd grade.
But it does have the common drawbacks of most small towns. Small mindedness, everyone knows your business and everyone has a loud opinion on what you should do and when you should do it.
But I also agree that doing whatever works best for you is the way to go. I know several moms who said that nursing was too painful in the beginning for them to get over, or my SIL said her nipples were too large for the baby to latch and stopped trying after the first few attempts. I was fortunate to have my baby nearby me when she needed to eat. If I had had to rely on pumping, it didn’t work well for me, and I frequently got very little out when I tried it. Who knows? Just listen to yourself on this one ❤️