Weekly Randoms 6/10-6/16 — The Bump
December 2019 Moms

Weekly Randoms 6/10-6/16

Just going to get the ball rolling!

I have a family drama question for y'all.  I have SIL that has always disliked me or had very loud opinions of me.  Why you ask?  Honestly, I really don't know.  I'm a peaceful, pleasant person, I've always tried to be friendly with her.  When I first met my DH, she seemed like she hated me from the start.  Anyway, I could go on about this all day, so let me get to my real question...

Last year, on a road trip with DH's family, SIL and her DH decided they wanted to tell everybody how much they hated them and what victims they were in a huge argument, one by one.  It was AWFUL.  Needless to say, DH and I spoke our sides of the situation to her and to my in-laws, and then chose to stay away from SIL's family essentially.  I feel bad that my DD doesn't see her cousins, but I don't think that's a good enough reason to force a relationship with SIL and her husband.  Does this seem like a selfish viewpoint from my little family's perspective, or is this what you would do?  I just feel we've tried the old olive branch extending thing so many times at this point, I'm done with it.  Me and DH thought we were in a good place when we went on that trip!  I guess we personally were, but nobody else was  :/

Side note:  When I got back from that trip, which was one of the most emotionally and physically traumatizing experiences of my life to date (and I've had a grand mal seizure!), I found out I was pregnant.  About a month and a half later, I found out I had a blighted ovum and had a miscarriage.  I'm not pointing fingers, but I do think that physical and emotional trauma can cause some of these things to take place!  

Thanks for reading, and I'd love your advice.

Re: Weekly Randoms 6/10-6/16

  • @cpk3535 is she the only girl of the family? It sounds like she has major jealousy issues. As for what to do, I’d continue to avoid. It seems like she’s a bit immature and unpredictable. It’s sad DD won’t have a close bond with cousins but she’ll grow up and be so glad she wasn’t in the middle of all that crazy. 
  • @k_mama91 yes, she is the only girl!  She’s always been very vocal about being the “black sheep” of the family, which is honestly complete BS.  I actually question if she’s bipolar or something similar.  Her husband also has some major issues that I wonder if might even be dangerous to be around.  I agree with what you said- it’s not worth the stress of being around that level of scary instability just to get to play with your cousins at holidays.  
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  • Sounds like there's a lot of crazy there. In the interest of not legitimizing that behavior I'd continue to avoid, personally. It's nice to have a bond with cousins, but not the end of the world if you don't.
  • @cpk3535 Growing up, one side of my family had a lot of estrangement due to my grandmother, who likely has an undiagnosed mental illness and was verbally abusive to her children, their spouses, and even her grandchildren.  Long story short, although I have a lot of cousins on that side, we didnt become close due to the estrangements.  I have never faulted my parents for it, because in the end I think they protected me from a lot of dysfunction and toxicity that would have resulted if they had tried to force family functions.
  • @cpk3535 I agree with the other ladies. Seems she might be having a hard time with the fact that she is not the only woman aroundand maybe she is getting less attention from the family. I would continue to avoid.

    Long story short, my house (which is for sale) was featured on the FB page For the Love of Old Houses... I knew there would be comments I wouldn't like, but I kind of went down a rabbit hole on my house post. Someone tell me to stop looking. A lady called our kitchen table pathetic... WHICH IT IS... ITS OUR CRAFT/KID TABLE. I may have got a little rude. Then she told someone "if you don't like it, simply move on" UMMM DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT TO BEGIN WITH.

    I may need to take a walk from my anger over here lol.

  • First off, thanks you to everybody for your supportive thoughts.  I feel the same way ❤️😊

    @klmcguire. OMG, it is so difficult to look at people commenting on your stuff, be it your personal things, business, whatever.  It’s both addictive to look at and makes you feel like you’re loosing control!  This is kind of generally true for social media overall.  Just take what you need from those comments and then leave it alone for your sanity, especially right now while pregnant 😊. People get really chirpy and entitled on social media.  Not cool, and honestly hurtful sometimes.  That’s how they get their kicks- they’re weird!  I experience it a lot with my parents business- reviews and emails straight to us can get really spiteful and mean.  Usually if I reply, I give them my overly nice customer service and they shut up!!  Haha 😆 
  • @cpk3535  I don't like her. She does sound jealous and somewhat "broken" and is taking her emotions out on other people but I'm sure she isn't realizing it. I would avoid as well like @k_mama91
     said. I've got some pretty irritating family members that are not good people and I honestly try and avoid unless it is like something for my grandparents or important matter.

    @klmcguire  I swear people think that no one is going to read what they write on the internet, like any time I  send a comment or tweet I'm like okay is this going to offend anyone? Yes? Then I don't write it. lol its pretty simple but some people are jus so closed-minded that they can't help it. 
  • @cpk3535 sorry for family drama, I’m dealing with my own on the in laws side. My gut reaction is to bring things up and hash them out, but with age I’ve learned it’s not always worth it. Which is sad. I agree with the avoid it mentality. 

    @klmcguire oh man, Internet comments. People are just nutty. 
  • A1C came back pre diabetic so I get to take the 1 hr GTT in the next 2 weeks. So I’m saying bye bye to carbs already. 😭
    ME: 34
    DH: 37
    DD: 03/17/17
    DS: 12/06/19
  • @mecoats I'm sorry to hear that! Was this something that was part of nipt? I've never heard of this test. 
  • @klmcguire I LOVE that page!! Now I want to creep through all the recent posts and see your house. In a non stalker way. 
  • @ktmaesim We've been calling it The Parasite (okay, I'VE been calling it The Parasite, because of what it's doing to my body, lol). My parents aren't thrilled with that nickname, lol. We've also been calling it Super Baby...that initially started with my husband as he observed the first trimester, because it was taking all my strength for itself, thus becoming a "super baby."
  • @rjgmcmanus HA I'm also occasionally calling it a parasite because,  well literally it is,  but dad hates that lol. 
  • @rjgmcmanus @bookworm492 @ktmaesim MH is not keen on baby nickname, although I have called the baby potato baby for all the French fries I’ve consumed, when it makes me feel sick I call it mean baby... and may have referred to it as a parasite as well. Week like 7-12 it legit felt like it was sucking the life out of me. 
  • yes omg my friend called it the parasite too and I died!! too funny. @rjgmcmanus  @bookworm982

  • @maggiemac15

    I am not telling you to go stalk lol but if you want to, it was posted on June 11 around 8:03am

  • @klmcguire I am also a stalker, I looked thru the pictures and we own a lot of the same decor. I didn’t read any of the comments and may be biased but idk what’s not to love 🤷🏼‍♀️
  • @bookworm492 I was pre diabetic before i had my first and had GD with my first so the perinatologist I saw wanted updated A1C (it’s your blood glucose). Since it’s so close to The limit I get to take glucose test early. 🙄

    this isn’t a regular part of pregnancy testing. 
    ME: 34
    DH: 37
    DD: 03/17/17
    DS: 12/06/19
  • @klmcguire your home is beautiful!! 
  • @maggiemac15 Thank you! We have worked super hard on it! 
    @k_mama91 I may spend a little too much time between Hobby Lobby and Decor Steals. Also, the lady I was talking about deleted her comment... So there's that.

  • So apparently I’m the asshole for not saying “happy Father’s Day” to my husband yesterday. But my son did, and gave him father’s day artwork he did at daycare.

    Also it wasn’t really a normal day, son and I only got home from being out of town at 7pm, so I basically unpacked, got him to bed and went to bed myself. And we were only out of town because my husband helped plan an overnight bachelor party for that weekend. And he had specifically told me that he had weird feelings about father’s day because of his relationship with his own dad. And w literally did nothing for mother’s day either, except that he did say it to me, so apparently I was supposed to say it to him to. Not just our son, but me specifically. I don’t know. I’m not sure where in all of that I was supposed to assume it was something that he cared about at all. 
    me: 37, Ontario, audio editor
    Big Brother Asher, June 2017

  • @klmcguire the amount of money I’ve spent at Hobby Lobby is crazy. You should see my various holiday decor 🤦‍♀️

    @CapricaAndrea that sucks. I wished dh a happy Father’s Day and we went on about normal activity. We don’t really celebrate that or mother’s day. It’s weird people dedicate a day to thank their parent/spouse for doing their job of raising their own child.
  • @k_mama91 we also decided to pass on mother's/ father's day as a family.  Neither of us are "holiday people" and don't plan on traditional Christmas either. 
  • @capricaandrea I only said it to DH bc DS is 2 and wouldnt say it, so I basically said it pretending it was DS saying it. I feel like it’s more of a day for kids to celebrate their father. DH isn’t my father lol nor am I his mother. 
  • @bookworm492 We also don’t do Valentine’s Day or more than a dinner for our anniversary. I think those things are all a waste of money. I can’t give up my traditional Christmas though, I’m Christmas crazy 🤪
  • @k_mama91 we both currently get 2 wks off work at Christmas/NYE, that's just too tempting to get out of town, since vacation time can be so hard to find. 
  • cpk3535cpk3535 member
    edited June 2019
    We use our holidays as a way to get away from our work (and therefore my family) for the most part!  I really don’t care about any greeting card only holidays (Valentines), but it gets hard to ignore them completely when your 8 year old daughter starts getting more interested in them!  Typically we hit Disneyland on/around national holidays, because work is closed and the parks are surprisingly empty. 

    On another question, is anybody toying with switching jobs now?  I’ve shared some background (work with my family, not paid well, stressful, not our passion) and I think both my husband and I are really ready to jump ship.  Our plan would likely be to sell our current home, and purchase a condo or home in the area we want to return to (giving us a bit of savings to work with), and just start over down there.  Honestly, finding jobs that pay what we make right now would not be hard at all, and we really want to have more independent jobs anyway, so this would really just be a stepping stone toward employment independence.  Any stories or ideas to share?
  • @cpk3535 , I'm considering making a job change now too. Just worried about maternity leave, because I don't want to give up that time and with starting now at a new job, I wouldn't be entitled to anything. Also struggling with when and how to tell the prospective employers that I'm pregnant. It can be done though! My best friend interviewed and started a new job at 8.5 months pregnant and negotiated time off that she was comfortable with - it wasn't as much time as she wanted, but it was the right move for her. Have you started looking?
  • I'm so sick of shaving. Anything and everything. I don't even care anymore. I'm also so sick of my boobs. They can stop growing at any time.......having a reduction in the past and now seeing them go back to basically what they were before it is extremely frustrating to me. They feel like 10lbs each currently. I want to chop them off lol. AND I CANT STAND when people think I'm "lucky" to have big boobs..........girl please. Go wear your J Crew button downs comfortably and shut up. (sorry to anyone who wears J Crew I'm just really jealous)
  • just realized im complaining on the wrong weekly board. oops 
  • @ktmaesim did you watch this week’s Handmaid’s Tale?
  • @anniemarie887 YES. That shyt was crazy! I always start to like Serena a bit and then I absolutely hate her the next min. Wtf is she doing!!!!! 
  • @ktmaesim yes! Damnit now I’m the one posting on the wrong board. I’m ice cream drunk 😂
  • @jenn6233 I’ve been job searching halfway for a while.  How about you?  I would really love to find something remote that uses my skills well.  I subscribed to FlexJobs courtesy of the website the Work at Home Mom, and I haven’t nailed anything down yet, but I’m keeping up hope!  Luckily, what we make right now isn’t hard to replicate.  I also have income possibilities coming from my own company ideas coming to fruition.  Pregnancy brain doesn’t make that stuff easy to focus on right now!  
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