WRW June 2019

jackie_dunny · June 2019

***General TW that this thread might contain discussions mentioning MC and loss.***

Welcome to Waiting Room Wednesday! You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason.

I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the month if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons
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When do you think you will start TTC?

What brings you to WRW?

Any R/R?

GTKY: What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?

jackie_dunny · June 2019

When do you think you will start TTC?

Discussions start August 2019

What brings you to WRW?

Like-minded community

Any R/R?

Rant: I've got a LOT going on in my life right now and I feel like you ladies are probably the best to just vent to as we're all just internet strangers. My whole team at work has gotten a cold/cough and my throat is killingggg me today. My Aunt passed away on the 29th from stage 4 cancer that she told no one about as she "didnt' want us to worry" and as I am now living overseas, I had no time to arrange any goodbyes or was able to go to the funeral. Yesterday I had to miss work AGAIN because my dog had to be taken to the vet (he's fine luckily). I had a nice little anxiety attack on Saturday over being in public (I have bad social anxiety from time to time.) I've missed FOURTEEN days of work in the past SEVEN months. That is NOT like me. I hate it. It's only causing more stress. Luckily, my boss is like, the best in the world and I actually sometimes forget that he's not one of my besties but actually my boss so he's SUPER understanding and knows everything that's going on but I still feel awful about it.

Anyways.... I guess my rave would be that it's getting warmer out here in Cloudy Old England. It never gets too hot here which I actually super appreciate. I'd say summers are typically in the 70s and only a few days get into the 80s. We're entering nice sunny weather, wahoo! I also go home to America in two weeks from today to surprise my sister for her HS graduation since she thought I was going to miss everything like prom and going off to college, etc. Can't wait to see her reaction.

GTKY: What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?

My traditional go-to is chocolate. Anything chocolate. Brownie bits are always a very welcome bonus.

So being that we are in a "like-minded community" as I've said a few times, I have to get this off my chest. This is more of a question/concern for first-time-moms-to-be but I'm definitely open to the advice/opinions of experienced moms. So our discussion date is quickly approaching. It's only the discussion date so I'm not too worried yet. I've always been the type that thought I was "destined to be a mom" and I know I DEFINTELY still want to be but.....I'm starting to just get a little worried about it. I think it's because I'm finally at the stage in my life where it's completely normal for me to have a baby and not just some far away in the future thought. I'm worried that I'm going to give up my life and never really get it back and that I won't have time to do the things I love. Has anyone else felt this way? Is this normal?

Annddddd thank you for coming to my crazy-long post!

doodleoodle · June 2019

When do you think you will start TTC?
I always say next month... so... next month lol

What brings you to WRW?

Like-minded community

Any R/R?

When do you think you will start TTC?

Discussions start August 2019

What brings you to WRW?

Like-minded community

Any R/R?

Rant: I actually have NOTHING to rant about. Crazy.

Rave: I have a hard time maintaining friendships because I am hyper focused on my kids. I haven’t seen my BFF in forever because that’s just how it goes and then I was traveling, and she left before I got back, but she comes home this week! Can’t wait to see her this weekend!

GTKY: What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?
Vanilla. It’s perfect. And if you ever want to mix it up you can add whatever to it and make it totally different. When I was pregnant with DD2 I got on this kick of adding cinnamon. It was amazing.

@jackie_dunny I am so sorry about your aunt. A lot of people have that mindset of not wanting to worry anyone, but it’s certainly not good for those who like to brace themselves for emotional hardships.

I’m not a first time mom, but when I was a FTM it honestly didn’t occur to me that having a baby would be hard. I, like you, felt it was my calling, but unlike you, I jumped into it head first without much thought. Your mindset it going to be an advantage to you, i promise. I was very depressed and anxious after my first was born. I was shocked at how different my life was. And, honestly, people can say things like, “oh enjoy sleep now because you’ll never sleep again.” But, I think parenting is a difficult concept to grasp unless you have actually done it. You’re constantly “on”, ready to jump into action at a moments notice. But it isn’t difficult forever. The first 18 months to 2 years are really hard. But things settle down and you find a new normal and can go out to lunch with friends and know your baby is being well taken care of by DH, or a sitter and enjoy the break. You will definitely have less time to yourself, and less sleep, but it is so worth it. I promise.

jackie_dunny · June 2019

@doodleoodle Regarding my aunt, she never had kids and my uncle passed away about 4 years ago. She was married into our family but even after he passed away, she still spent all of the holidays with us. I think in her mind, she wasn't really leaving anyone behind but that's just not true. Also, thank you very much for the advice. I know it will be worth it. I think I'm just getting nervous because this fantasy in my head is finally approaching reality.

doodleoodle · June 2019

@jackie_dunny totally understandable! All big changes are like that: getting married, buying a home, etc. At least for me haha Changes are nerve wracking! ❤️

KFrob · June 2019

When do you think you will start TTC? undecided, not for a couple of year at least

What brings you to WRW?
Like minded people, a place to vent

Any R/R?
Rant: I'm feeling pretty burned out both at work and at home. I constantly feel like I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions. Our life is crazy bc DH works a billion jobs and is in grad school. In addition to his full time job he coaches a university lacrosse team, a high school team, and in his spare time (ha) referees. The bulk of the craziness is late winter into late spring so we're just coming out of it. Then he's also in an accelerated MBA program through our employer which eats up a lot of time. I might be married to the most hard working driven man on earth and I shouldn't complain but I'm ready to have a partner again and not have to deal with the dreaded bath night on my own haha!

Rave: I just got my hair cut and colored for the first time in 6 months and I'm feeling sassy! Also DH has addressed my burn out and is talking the kids some where this weekend so I can get some me time. I'm thinking it will involve a Target stroll, starbucks, and a pedi

GTKY: What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?
I'm with @doodleoodle! Vanilla is the true test of how good an ice cream is. Other than that, the Trader Joes Cookie Butter ice cream

@jackie_dunny I feel like I knew my life was going to change drastically before DD was born but I still wasn't prepared. I felt like for a time period I completely lost my identity and it led to PPD. But, I found myself again and everything settled in. Even though I know its so important I have trouble finding and taking time for myself. But like doodleoodle said it's completely worth it and I wouldn't change it for anything!

edit bc a mysterious spoiler got in there and needed to be deleted

ivyvines6 · June 2019

When do you think you will start TTC?
October of 2020

What brings you to WRW?
Looking for frands

Any R/R?
Rant: I have an appointment scheduled for birth control in two weeks. I want an iud but they can’t just do it on first meeting apparently so this is just them getting to know my cervix and discussing options. I’d rather skip the meet and greet and just go straight for the insertion...

Rave: I’m probably getting sushi next week with my bestie? We like never see each other...

GTKY: What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?
So... Um... I don’t like ice cream... I definitely ate a lot of it last time I was pregnant but that’s not normal for me at all. I also ate a lot of cereal with both pregnancies and that’s super not normal

ivyvines6 · June 2019

@jackie_dunny it’s totally normal to feel that way. I honestly didn’t feel that type of resentment until after my second was born and now all the sudden no one is capable of helping with childcare and I never get a break. The first year is really hard, but it does get easier and you don’t feel as much like you’re drowning starting around eight months PP.

@doodleoodle I totally agree with your assessment about parenting. Also, vanilla is the best choice if I have to eat it.

@KFrob my husband is a manager at a car dealership so I get the missing your partner bit. I totally hate bathing my kids... Is that a FFWC?

jackie_dunny · June 2019

@doodleoodle As I was falling asleep last night, I thought "Oh my goodness! I never responsed to what she said about her friend!" So rude of me. So glad you get to see your bestie soon!

@KFrob Ugh, I'm so sorry you're feeling so burnt out and that YH is so busy. That's so sweet that he is giving you some time this weekend so you can rejuvinate yourself. Sounds like you have a real winner. What cut and colour did you go for with your hair?

@ivyvines6 laughing at my desk with you referring to it as a "meet and greet"

Sooo jealous of your sushi-with-your-bestie date. My best friend and I used to go alllllll the time (probably WAY too much actually) and I miss it so much (both him and sushi).

To all, thanks for all of the advice

It's stuff I already "knew" like "it's so worth it" and "you can't be prepared until you are a parent yourself", etc. but it's really nice to hear from experienced moms besides your own mom

Also, I can't believe how left out I am on Team Chocolate!

ETA: grammar

KFrob · June 2019

@ivyvines6 I also loled at the “meet and greet”. Bathing the kids is the worst! DD1 is 3 and everything is soooo difficult with her, DD2 is eight months and never stops moving. Getting her diapered, lotioned, and dressed is an Olympic sport.

@jackie_dunny I suck with my standard which is a long bob, usually a bit inverted, I have dark blonde hair so I go with some blonde highlights and low lights.

doodleoodle · June 2019

@jackie_dunny you’re not rude at all! Idk how anyone responds to everything everyone says. I’m trying hard to keep up, but failing miserably.

I am also thoroughly surprised at all of the vanilla ice cream lovers. I half expected to get flamed (okay, not really flamed, but be the only one).

@ivyvines6 the meet and greet is ridiculous. They’re just going to tell you that they have to check with your insurance to make sure it’s covered... can’t they do that before the first appointment and then just get it over with at that one appointment?? Ain’t nobody got time for that

@kfrob my oldest is 3 and I hate saying this but it is the worst age I’ve experience. Hands down. I’ve said to her, “Can’t you just give me a break?” And she snapped back, “You give ME a break!” It’s so hard not to laugh when she’s sassy, but I don’t want to raise a monster 😂

ivyvines6 · June 2019

doodleoodle said:
@kfrob my oldest is 3 and I hate saying this but it is the worst age I’ve experience. Hands down. I’ve said to her, “Can’t you just give me a break?” And she snapped back, “You give ME a break!” It’s so hard not to laugh when she’s sassy, but I don’t want to raise a monster 😂

I’ve been saying that “this is the WORST age since my oldest was 18m’s so at this point I’m inclined the believe it’s just him... My 13m/o is NOTHING like he was so...

jackie_dunny · June 2019

@KFrob Ooh, that sounds super pretty!

@doodleoodle I didn't even see it happen and I'm sitting at my desk giggling over that. Well done for keeping a straight face

doodleoodle · June 2019

@ivyvines6 i literally laughed out loud at that 😂

@jackie_dunny it wasn’t easy, and I’ve failed before haha

jackie_dunny · June 2019

Ladies! I'm so excited, I couldn't wait to share! I've been saying in all our monthly posts, "Discussions start August 2019" as that would have been one solid year we've been together (relationship wise we've been together 3 and a half years but a good chunk of that was long distance so August marks 1 continuous year of being together everyday). We had a long drive to the White Cliffs of Dover which is on the opposite side of London for us, a good 3 hour drive. On the drive home, I didn't want to wait until August, I knew how I felt, so I decided to bring up the topic with him. We were both on the same page with everything. We don't want to wait too long but there are things we want to do first. I was like, "Okay but WHAT do we want to do first because otherwise we'll always be saying that and we'll never actually do anything." So we came up with our list and we picked a date that we're both really happy with! AHH! So excited/relieved to have an actual date! November 2020 so I'll be right behind you @xwhyandz!

TL;DR we have our TTC date! Nov 2020!

ivyvines6 · June 2019

@jackie_dunny That’s awesome! Right around when we’re going to start trying too.

KFrob · June 2019

@doodleoodle and @ivyvines6 Three is absolutely the worst age. Two has nothing on three! SD is 6 and DH has to keep reminding me how bad she was at 3 and that we will get past this. I have a super hard time keeping a straight face sometimes too. I'm often told that I'm not her friend anymore, only daddy is. DH and I always saying how she's not bad, she's exhausting!

@jackie_dunny Congrats on having the talk and a time line!

doodleoodle · June 2019

@jackie_dunny that’s awesome!

@KFrob that is so funny. DH is chomping at the bit to have another baby and will often say, “Don’t you want another tiny baby to snuggle?” And I’ll say, “Of course, I’m just not sure that I want another three year old” ETA that two is actually my favorite age so far (in my very limited experience) I heard DD2 pretending to tuck DD1 into bed and said said to her, “Night night, Penelope! Sweet Dreams! I miss you! I love you!... Monsters gonna get you....”

chinadoll2522 · June 2019

When do you think you will start TTC?

Unknown

What brings you to WRW?

Comuity.

Any R/R?

Rave:

My friends are engaged. My friends are really awesome, this is the first time that I've had a big friend group. We are planning on going to a Disturbed concert! My husband and I are thinking about getting a dog!

Rant: family loss warning

So, my husband and isn't working at the flower place anymore he was only hired for mothersday week, someone else was promoted to the job he was working and we weren't told until the last minute this was the plan. Which puts TTC on hold once again. I've been going though a lot of family issues over the last year and a half....my younger brother had been battling cancer and he passed away May 22nd. I'm not sure how I feel a this point...numb maby, extremely tired. I usely like to make my rave area biger then my rant, but I've been putting off posting with everything that has happened and I really need to let it all out. My sister in law gave me a back handed complement telling me she was proud that I don't complain as much since moving out....it's made me question a lot of things. I've always been s give everyone the facts type of purson and I'm wondering now if everyone thinks I'm just complaining.

GTKY: What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?

Peppermint.

ivyvines6 · June 2019

@chinadoll2522 ugh that’s a whole lotta oof you’re dealing with. It sucks when it seems like life is handing you all the lemons. Hopefully things start to get better for you dinner rather than later. (Peppermint ice cream is also good. I accept it)

ivyvines6 · June 2019

Can we do a new question every Wednesday? I feel like that’ll keep people responding here... Or we just post a new thread each week with gtky’s?

doodleoodle · June 2019

@chinadoll2522 I hope things turn around for you soon. Creepy internet hugs.

jackie_dunny · June 2019

@chinadoll2522 wow, oh my goodness! You poor thing

you’ve got so much going on at the minute! I know we’re just a bunch of internet strangers but this board is always open if you need to talk (:

@ivyvines6 yeah, I’m definitely open to a weekly thread! For a while there, there wasn’t really enough of us to do that but I think there’s a good amount now (:

KFrob · June 2019

@chinadoll2522 Sorry for your loss and that you're going through so much! DH and I saw Disturbed a couple of yeasr ago with Breaking Benjamin!

mamaqdubu · June 2019

*TW children mentioned*

hen do you think you will start TTC? August 2019 (maybe)

What brings you to WRW? I want to get involved in a bmb because I didn't with my 2nd and wish I had. Figured I'd start now and make connections

Any R/R? Rant: toddlers who used to sleep until 6:30 and now think 5am is acceptable. Come on kids!!! I know it's bright outside, but it's not time to get up yet!

Rave: we're ALMOST done with our sunroom we've been redoing for the last few months. DH did an amazing job on the woodwork, but painting it is taking me ages.

GTKY: What's your favourite flavour of ice cream? Anything w/ chocolate & peanut butter... but DS1 is allergic to peanut butter so I have to sneak it when i'm away from the house.

mamaqdubu · June 2019

@chinadoll2522 I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of that

We could definitely do a weekly randoms thread if everyone is interested. Maybe a GTKY to get started, and then just a randoms from there?

doodleoodle · June 2019

So am I the only crazy that’s planning sleeping arrangements for baby and browsing Amazon for new baby things?

KFrob · June 2019

@doodleoodle I never stop looking at maternity clothes...

ivyvines6 · June 2019

KFrob said:

@doodleoodle I never stop looking at maternity clothes...

All the maternity clothes!

doodleoodle · June 2019

I wonder if I’ll need maternity clothes... last time around I bought some nursing/maternity shirts that I JUST had to have because oh my gosh they will make nursing so much easier!.. I think I wore them maybe once each. Maybe I don’t know how to buy maternity clothes.

chinadoll2522 · June 2019

@ivyvines6 Yeah, it feels like a lot of lemons but I just try to be positive and remind myself that atleast I like lemonade. I know things will get better with time, my brother wouldn't want me to be sad forever. He would want me to live life fully everyday.

@doodleoodle Thank you. Your comment made me smile, lol.

@jackie_dunny Thank you. I've felt a lot of support since finding this form, talked with some really amazing people. This was what I needed back in december of last year when I was feeling pretty lost and all I wanted was to have a baby. A lot has happened but I hope to be stronger with time. Congratulations on picking a date!

@KFrob That sounds like a really good mash up! My bother used to listen to breaking Benjamin when we were growing up.

@Mamaqdubu Thank you. I really appreciate everyones kind words.

I'm sorry these replies took so long, I've been working on it like a story and editing/adding for five days. I'm doing my best to get back into the swing of things.

chinadoll2522 · June 2019

doodleoodle said:

So am I the only crazy that’s planning sleeping arrangements for baby and browsing Amazon for new baby things?

Okay. I've been wanting to talk about this and at the same time I'm a little embarrassed.

I've wanted to have a baby forever, since I was around the age of twelve I knew that being a mother was the only goal I had really set for myself. So, I was homeschooled and didn't really have any friends other then my siblings, instead of having boyfriends... I read books. Now, I'm not picky in a lot of things....but baby clothes is one of them. It all started at a thrift sale around the age of sixteen that I pick out a few kid clothes that I liked, a cute little dress some sparkley jeans. Now, I didn't have a significant other, I wasn't planning to have kids right at that moment but it was something that was still in the back of my head.

Now, at the age of 24 over the years of buying a few cute things here and there...when I have a baby shower I won't need to ask for clothes. I have two bucks full of baby things in my closet, I have weeded though it over the years and there is a lot less then what I used to have.

I have two baby registries ready at a moment's notice. Me and DH have agreed on seven full baby names. At this point I think the only thing that is stopping us is DH still looking for a job, also I'm defiantly the more excited out of the two of us about starting a family. DH is still shy about the subject...he told me he wants to have children but he seems fine with waiting. And I can't get him to talk to me about it, he won't explain what he's thinking.

doodleoodle · June 2019

@chinadoll2522 that’s so sweet that you’ve spent the last few years picking out baby clothes. As for your DH, he might not even know how he feels, or he might not want to talk about it because he feels like he can’t afford to give you want you want right now and is feeling guilty. Hang in there ❤️

KFrob · June 2019

@chinadoll2522 I agree with doodleoodle. I'm a person who will put off talking about things since sometimes I have a hard time defining how I feel or pin pointing what the root of the problem is so I have to explain to DH that I'm not ready to talk. Maybe suggest having a talk about when to talk about having a baby, if that makes sense. Then at least you can give him some time, but he knows you'd like to talk about it, and you also give yourself the satisfaction of a time line. Also maybe approach it asking him what would make him feel ready to be a dad.

ivyvines6 · June 2019

@chinadoll2522 I was also homeschooled and it made me not want children to a VERY long time

I did not have a positive experience with it though.

jackie_dunny · June 2019

I have to actually stop myself from staring at maternity clothes and baby things. I'm nervous that it'll "get old" and I won't be super excited when it's my time. I did the same with wedding stuff before I was married. I wouldn't plan a single thing.

@chinadoll2522 I agree with @KFrob about a plan when to talk. We had August 2019 in our minds for the longest time which gave us time to gather our thoughts on how we felt without pressure and we ended up coming up with our date sooner than expected because we were both ready. It definitely helped.

*TW*

@doodleoodle I wasn't sure if I should post this here or on the BMB but I saw your announcement on Feb 2020! CONGRATULATIONS GIRL! You got exactly what you wanted as well, "a decision made for you" Here's to a happy and healthy 9 months!

mamaqdubu · June 2019

@jackie_dunny which thread?! I need to stalk!

doodleoodle · June 2019

Thanks @jackie_dunny !!! So sweet of you ❤️

KFrob · June 2019

@doodleoodle aaaaahhhh!!! Congrats!!!! I usually stalk the intro threads but have been too busy at work the last couple of days and missed it.

KFrob · June 2019

@doodleoodle aaaaahhhh!!! Congrats!!!! I usually stalk the intro threads but have been too busy at work the last couple of days and missed it.

KFrob · June 2019

@doodleoodle aaaaahhhh!!! Congrats!!!! I usually stalk the intro threads but have been too busy at work the last couple of days and missed it.

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