August 2019 Moms

Weekly Randoms 6/3

It's 50 degrees today where I am from.  And it's June. So.. 

Me 32 <3 H 33
TTC#1 January 2016  BFP 5/16/2016  DD Born 1/27/17

TFAS: BFP 11/26/2018 Estimated due date: 8/2/2019


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Re: Weekly Randoms 6/3

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  • Here's a random question but I'm posting here since its not a pregnancy or kid related question at all.
    How often do you replace your bedding (sheets/comforter or duvet)? Do you wait until they have holes, when they hit a certain age, or when you just dont like them?

    Our bedding is about 6 years old and generally in decent shape. We did get a bigger mattress so two sets of sheets arent quite deep enough, but do the job. We bought one set of sheets that fit, and those are 4 years old. None of that is in bad shape, but I'm tired of the sheets that dont fit quite right and that we have some red, black, and 2 different shades of grey pillow cases. Then we have two comforters. The only way to wash those things is either in the bathtub (then it takes 3 days to dry) or at the laundromat (which is hard to get to with our schedules), so they dont get washed very often. Which is gross because we have 3 big dirty dogs. So I'm looking into replacing all of it with one sheet set, extra coordinating/matching pillow cases, and a duvet/cover so it can be washed easier at home. But then I feel bad because technically ours arent *that* bad and its just spending money and being wasteful/consumerist. So, if you made it through all that, you get a trophy. But also, WWYD? 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • aukeevaukeev member
    @sourlemon I probably do this more frequently than some because we've moved so much (we've flipped a couple of houses, and we live in them while we do it) so I've redecorated rooms quite a bit. But in general I'd say I change ours out annually. I just get bored and am ready for something new. 

    If yours are still in good shape but you're ready for an upgrade/update, could you launder them and donate them to Salvation Army or a women's shelter in your area? I know you said cleaning them is a huge pain, but maybe just one last time! 
  • @oklahomak they arent in great shape (both comforters have holes that I patched thanks to my dogs) but the sheets are fine. I was thinking the animal shelter, they always need blankets and towels and it doesnt matter if they arent in great shape. But yes, we'd still have to clean them.
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • @sourlemon I bought new sheets as an anniversary gift to myself last year (so our originals were 3 years old). I bought our original ones online, and never really liked the feel of them, the sheets were fine, but the blanket was made from a weird material, so some mornings I would wake up, and the flat sheet would have shifted, and I would be touching this material, (it wasn't scratchy or anything, it's hard to describe, it was just unpleasant.) I felt really guilty, because they were still in fine shape, and I couldn't describe what I didn't like about them. But finally around our anniversary Macy's was having a great sale, so I just splurged.
  • aukeevaukeev member
    @sourlemon Oh, the animal shelter would be a great idea! 
  • @sourlemon I tend to invest in good quality sheets.. we've had ours for just about 10 years... the elastic is starting to give way so we might have to replace them... (our be is a cal-king) thankfully we can fit our comforter in the washer (its down), so we wash them every 2-3 months... i would love to replace our duvet but its still in great condition and I have not been able to justify spending the money on a new one. I would say if your stuff has patch holes and doesn't fit well on the new mattress I would be OK getting something new
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

  • Uhh this topic just made me realize we've needed a new matress cover for weeks(months) and I keep forgetting to get one.  Amazon, thank you.  It will be here tomorrow <3

    Me 32 <3 H 33
    TTC#1 January 2016  BFP 5/16/2016  DD Born 1/27/17

    TFAS: BFP 11/26/2018 Estimated due date: 8/2/2019


  • @wabash15 we also have a Cal-King...and its a 20 inch deep mattress. So hard to find sheets that are reasonable!
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • cato99cato99 member
    @sourlemon if you're ready for a change, 4-6 years is a pretty good run to get you out of feeling wasteful/irresponsible consumerist! Your life will only get busier with a new baby so just consider this part of nesting and preparing for the new addition! 

    Using stuff that's not-quite-right, like your sheets that aren't quite long enough, really gets to be irritating after a while. I have pretty splurgy bedding and 4 years in I don't have any urge to change it, because I'm still really into it and think the investment was worth it! I imagine the stuff I have now will make it at least to the 10-year mark. 
  • aukeevaukeev member
    An old coworker of mine who I remained loose friends with is also pregnant and due just a week before me (8/20) with her first. I'm eating lunch at my desk and feeling super judgy, but literally everything baby-related she does is stressing me out. I realize everyone is ready to be a parent at different times, but she didn't tell her boyfriend of only four months that she was getting off of birth control in the fall and they were pregnant a month later. She was shocked by how surprised he was  :|

    Anyway, she texted me earlier today to ask about childcare options and day care prices in our area because she hadn't started looking yet and was estimating it would be about $100 a week. Umm, we got on a waiting list in February that was 12-18 months out (they let us know it likely won't take that long at all, just have to give us the safest estimate) and it's $250 a week. 
  • Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a bit better about wanting to replace the bedding. DH is completely on board with swapping them out...but then every month looks at the credit card bill and says we need to spend less (we are spending within our means, it just adds up).
    @oklahomak WHAAAAATTTTTT. I cant imagine being her right now....
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • @sourlemon I was going to suggest the animal shelter! As for replacing bedding. I think it is justified if it doesn't fit. I agree if you invest in something that you like and is a quality item it will last a bit longer. (and may be a bit easier to justify in your mind) I also think it is justifiable to have at least 2 sets of sheets that actually fit and coordinating pillow cases. We've had our bedding for about 6 years. 3 sets of sheets that we rotate (one on the bed, one in the wash, one spare) and a duvet and duvet cover. We really only use the duvet in the colder months, so the rest of the year we have a simple blanket that i can throw in our washing machine. (I always have a second blanket, DH likes it cold at night.)

    TTC#1 10/2016
    TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each. 
    BFP finally in 12/2018

    TTC#2 06/2021
    planning FET


    "Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
    some doors are open, some roads are blocked" 

  • woke up in the early ams not feeling well at all.  Whole body is achy, but no fever. My face felt hot so I thought I had one but my temperature is completely normal.  Yuck.  Taking it easy today.  Baby is very lively so I'm not too concerned. I have an appointment on thursday so I can talk to her then unless this progresses into something worse.  
  • edited June 2019
    @sourlemon I think replacing your bedding is completely justified if it doesn't fit your mattress, especially if it's 4-6 years old. This is definitely a case of do as I say, not as I do, though, because we definitely don't buy new sheets as often as we should. We currently have three sets of sheets that we use on our mattress; one is almost ten years old and pretty tattered/frayed along the edges, one is just a few years old but has discolorations (from acne products I used at one point) that drive me crazy, and one is a year old and in good shape. The two newer sets, though, are too deep for the mattress, which also bothers me even for the set that's just fine in terms of wear and tear.

    @oklahomak Yikes!! I definitely would not want to be in her shoes right now. I'm lucky enough to not need daycare and I looked into it anyway back in January to figure out the process if things changed for us; I can't imagine just starting the search and budgeting process now. 

    **TW TW TW TW**
    You guys. Someone I went to grad school with who had her baby shower in April just posted this morning on FB/Insta that she laid her baby to rest. I don't know her well, so I don't know exactly when she was due or if she gave birth to a healthy baby or any of the details, and I wouldn't dream of asking, but I am so, so, so devastated for her. I spent the morning crying on and off just thinking about how I would feel if it were me. I can't concentrate on work AT ALL. I am so sad, but also so incredibly relieved whenever I feel my LO kick or move around, and I feel awful about being relieved that I'm not the one going through that pain.


  • mkrelmkrel member
    @lovelikestardust that is just heartbreaking and is one of my biggest fears. They say things like that are so rare, but it seems to happen to more people than I’d like to think. I always get shaken up when I read stories/posts like that too, especially when it is someone you know and it seems so real. 
  • @lovelikestardust I had a similar situation with a colleague a few months ago (March I think?) I had just been introduced to her when everything happened and had no idea what to say. She was 7 months (I think I was 4ish at the time) and it still shakes me to think about it. I don’t know if it happens more often or the older you get the more stories you have heard, but it never crossed my mind with prior pregnancies. 
  • Me and H really need to get started working on our bedroom. It's such a mess. Our whole house is a mess. But we really genuinely need to get working on our bedroom so we can get the baby stuff set up. We are going to Denver in two weeks for a little "babymoon" and we will be gone for 5 days. Then it will be almost July. So I feel like time is running out. And I don't want to have a newborn in our room with how messy it is.
  • Anyone eating medjool dates for their third trimester?  I did it for my first pregnancy and it didn't not work so I'm eating them again.  Costco doesn't have them in stock like they did the first time around and they are super expensive at my local grocery store.  Was wondering if anyone had any luck ordering them from Amazon?  The reviews are so mixed that I got overwhelmed. 

    And for anyone interested in the studies I relied on, they are linked at the end of this article: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-eating-dates-to-start-labor/

  • @sourlemon if it makes you feel better I get new sheets every couple of years - and I splurge each time. We have white sheets and I like them super crisp and bright white. Even with regular washing - they just lose their luster after a couple of years with kids, dogs, and every day use. We also just brought a brand new duvet because I felt our old one was flattening our a bit. Our duvet cover, pillows and quilt we have had for about 3 years and I do plan on keeping them for the foreseeable future but we really took a long time picking them out and spent a fortune on them. Otherwise, I wouldn’t hesitate 🤷‍♀️
    BabyFruit Ticker}
  • @sourlemon We had these UGLY sheets that our MIL gave us and used them for about 3 years.  So about six months ago, I splurged on sheets.  I got three new sets: one each from Brooklinen, Parachute, and L.L. Bean.  The L.L. Bean ones actually turned out to be our favorite.  I spent a fair amount on them, but I am so much happier now.
  • jmesue1030jmesue1030 member
    edited June 2019
    Big TW below (edited because I apparently don’t know how to do spoilers very well) 

    @lovelikestardust that’s awful. I had a similar situation a couple months ago in which an old friend did IVF, got pregnant with triplets after a year, then delivered and lost all 3 babies at 23 weeks. It was HORRIBLE and I still can’t even talk about it without getting teary. 

  • cato99cato99 member
    @jmesue1030 oh my god that's absolutely heartbreaking! I'm so sorry for everyone's acquaintances who are going through losses. It makes me want to stick my head in the sand and not listen to any bad things ever. 
  • emqbeeemqbee member
    Oh my goodness...so much to respond to!

    Reg. Sheets and bedding....I buy it as I feel we need it. Like I still have the sheets we got for our wedding over six years ago and their in fabulous shape, no intentions of replacing. That said, we’ve gotten a larger bed since then and it’s been harder to find sheets we like and have probably bought 5 sets in the last 2 yrs trying to find some we love... I’m open to suggestions if anyone knows of super deep pocket king sheets that actually STAY ON! We found one set on amazon that’s working but it’s been a struggle. As far as comforters/duvets, I prefer quilts. And I can wash them whenever which is usually a couple times a month since pup sleeps with us on and off. Had the last one for 10 yrs and just bought a new one. It’s not the same quality so I’m still on the hunt for a permanent replacement. 

    TW- I can’t imagine a late loss like you guys have described. I’m in the same boat as @cato99 I’ve chosen to stick my head in the sand when it comes to those thoughts. My very best friends mom had a late loss when we were children and I remember going to the funeral service held for him. I’ve never known, and hopefully never will, the grief she and her husband experienced. My heart truly breaks for anyone going through that, or close to someone going through that. End TW


  • @mkrel @thirdtimesacharm2019 I'm still in disbelief. I've heard/read these kinds of stories before, of course, and it's always sad, but it's all just hitting home so much harder. Especially because I'm fairly sure that back in April, she was safely further along in her pregnancy than I am now, with no identified issues.

    @jmesue1030 That is completely heartbreaking, I can't even begin to imagine how much pain that caused. I hope she can heal and find peace, whatever that might mean for her.
  • TW: 

    My new boss that I am working with was due a few days before me and lost her baby in April. I feel so sad for her and then even worse that she has to see me and my pregnant self. I try to be as low key about the pregnancy as much as possible but she's so nice and is always asking questions and stuff. 

    I also feel like I know so many stories like this so it's always in the back of my mind. 

    @jmesue1030 and @lov@lovelikestardust , that is so sad. 

    @sourlemon, I usually get new sheets every year or so. I just got a 2nd pair in May for our bedding. 


    *Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*

  • @Twinkiedoll I eat them fairly regularly (stuffed with goat cheese)... though recently this baby has not found them so appetizing so I haven't been eating much. So weird our costco still has them. I and I will second that they are super expensive anywhere else...
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

  • This is super random and off topic but if you had field day growing up or have kids who have it now, what was it like?  I went to DDs field day today and OMG it was a chaotic mess. 

    Growing up we always had one at the end of the year. Classes competed against eachother. It was a super fun end of the year event to bring everyone together and so much fun! We played things like tug of war, three legged races, egg races, water balloon toss etc... Parents and teachers would run the games, keep score (gasp!), have winners (double gasp!), and parents would cheer from the sidelines. 

    Today was DDs. The whole school y5s-4th grade were outside scattered across the whole playground at once. They had stations the kids could visit to particpate in crappy little games or things like hula hooping. They also had the option to just play on the playground. DD couldnt even find her friends for most of the time and was more interested in eating popsicles/ice cream and playing on the playground than waiting in line to do crappy games. The whole thing was disorganized chaos and it made me wonder if times have changed, or if it is based on the area (I didnt grow up around here), or if my childhood was just weird. 
    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • @Allycat11 growing up, mine was how yours was. Organized, things were done by classes (not scattered), and yes, scores were kept and prizes were won. The humanity!

    Neither of kids are old enough for real school field days yet, but the daycare does a "spring carnival" and "fall carnival" every year. It is 90% crappy games and crappy toy prizes. The other 10% is food. They stay with their class and stand in line together unless a parent is there, then the kid can go off with the parent. Even with staying with the class, its chaos. And the games are all like ring toss, bean bag toss, search for an object in a tub of shredded paper..not *active* games (but maybe since the kids are all 5 and under, those are too hard? idk). I sure hope the real school field days arent so dumb.
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • I should add we JUST had a spring carnival for DDs school a couple weeks ago. It was on a Saturday and whole families were invited. The games today weren't that much different, like toss a tennis ball into this 30+ year old crate we had laying around. 
    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • So there is some reporting that has to be done while I’m out on leave that I’m trying to organize before this child makes his grand appearance. Usually this would be no big deal, but I moved into this role last fall and I’ve never actually completed it (although I’m familiar with the concepts). I tried to work on it about a month ago and then we were busy with more pertinent tasks, but now it’s time to get this thing done. Usually I’m really good at outlining a project and developing a game plan, but this one is getting the best of me. I should also add that my boss hasn’t completed said reporting and the person who used to do it left crap for notes and isn’t responsive to questions (although she still works here in a different department). Not really a b*fest, more just overwhelmed than anything (and maybe a tad distracted thinking about baby stuff and vacation next week). 
  • @Allycat11 we had one when i was in school. Seems like it was a combination of what you described. You were set up in an area with your class and there were some grade competitions so each class in that grade would do like the sack race or a relay and then there were individual events that had a 1st, 2nd & 3rd place. That was a bit scattered, but it was the whole school out there at the end of the year. There were winners and losers and I think one parent was invited per kid, but it wasn't required.

    TTC#1 10/2016
    TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each. 
    BFP finally in 12/2018

    TTC#2 06/2021
    planning FET


    "Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
    some doors are open, some roads are blocked" 

  • aecmaecm member
    @Allycat11 - the “field days” of my youth were definitely pretty structured. I feel like maybe there was a separate one for K-3rd and 4th-6th. The older one was definitely structured b/c it was how they picked who would go to the provincial (aka state) outdoor track and field meet. So there were timed heats and finals...all that jazz. Final results were posted the next day or so in a public place. Each kid had to sign up to participate in a minimum number of events, but there was some downtime depending on how many you signed up to do and when they were scheduled. I don’t remember the younger ones as well, but I’m pretty sure we competed for our houses (think Harry Potter type houses) and there were events like tug of war and “soccer-baseball” (I think it’s called kickball in the US?). I also do not recall parents at any of these events though! Pretty sure it was just the teachers!
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @Allycat11 I suppose ours were chaotic for everyone else but as a child it was the greatest day ever!  They had various stations set up for games and activities. You had a punch card and when you completed a certain amount you could trade them for a popsicle or something else. I always got the popsicle.  It wasn't a competition unless you wanted to earn a lot of treats :)
  • @Allycat11 field days when I was in elementary school were only for 4th and 5th graders because they'd bring both elementary schools to the high school track. And we did a track and field events as well as tug of war and 3 legged races. If I remember correctly we got to choose so many events and then it was done kind of like a tournament. And we won ribbons. Parents didn't come unless they volunteered as chaperones and the school provided sack lunches and we sat in the bleachers to eat. My town was really small (like 6000 people) and my elementary school was maaaaaybe 1/4 of a mile from the high school, so we just walked. Then other school took buses 
  • @Allycat11 at my elementary school, the field day was always themed like the Greek Olympics.  We had different events to compete in and we won ribbons, then each class tallied the wins  at the  end. At the elementary school I teach at field day is done by grade level. So all the first grade classes were together. There are certain number of stations and a set number of time. So say there’s 10 stations and each class starts at a station for 20 minutes then rotates. There are two classes per station. Some of the stations have at the classes compete against each other like tug-of-war or relay races. Other stations are just a free-for-all kind of like sharks and minnows.
  • We just got an email that it's graduation day this Friday @ DS's preschool/Montessori. I don't even know what it means (he's 2.5 yo) and keep reminding DH to find out when he goes to pick him up. I am still undecided if I want to take off and go attend this. Hoping DH finds out at least today so I can let my work know I will be gone for a few hours. 
  • Omg the weather is crazy again. I RAN down the street to try to get home before the storm hit since the winds definitely said it was coming. I barely made it. I haven’t ran in so long much less at 28 weeks pregnant. 🤣🤣

    *Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*

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