I am on the tail end of another failed FET cycle and I need to vent.
I was 28 when I first tried to get pregnant. After 2 years of no success, we did IVF. My case is unexplained infertility- nothing seems wrong on paper with me or my husband, if anything things look great.
At my first egg retrieval we were disappointed. We only got 5 good eggs (4 ended up fertilizing - eventually we transferred 1 and froze 1 at day 5) and they told me we would have to wait a month to transfer since they believed I had a polyp.
At a hysterectomy shortly thereafter, they couldn’t find a polyp. We scheduled a day 3 transfer and lo and behold I got pregnant with my now perfect 3 year old daughter. I am SO fortunate and realize that many don’t get that lucky.
Fast forward 2 years, we decided to try for our second child. After 6 months of trying naturally, we returned to our clinic. Since then, I have now had 4 failed transfers:
-FET: Embryo from my first cycle: We weren’t too surprised as the Embryo was a bit sow to develop but we tried since it was considered excellent quality.
-Fresh: we ended up with 5 beautiful 5 day embryos and the Embryo transferred was considered ideal. However, after transfer I got my period and a positive pregnancy test. The embryo ended up implanting on my c-section scar and I miscarried at 7 weeks (thankfully as it is considered a very risky pregnancy). At that time, they saw what they thought was a polyp again so I had surgery to remove it but turns out it was part of the placenta that got stuck on my scar.
-FET: another ideal Embryo failed. However this time I ended up in the hospital for 5 nights with a severe infection from the progesterone shots. They believe it started as an allergic reaction that turned infectious. I had a fever and cellulitis. My white blood cells were through the roof. They told me there was no way the Embryo would survive that environment.
-FET: this is the first time I have tried a natural cycle. No hormones, except vaginal progesterone. They tracked my cycle and I had a perfect LH surge indicating ovulation. The day of the transfer, my uterine lining looked perfect and again we transferred a great Embryo. It didn’t work.
I am not sure how much more I can handle. I’m tired and sad. They can’t find any problem to fix.
I’ve been pregnant and my embryos always “look great, above average”. And yet here I am, not pregnant again. Exhausted. Discouraged. My husband and I are lucky to be in a position to consider surrogacy. Maybe it’s time?!
Re: Infertility - trying to conceive #2 and need to vent
As much as we can time things perfectly, there is an amount of luck/randomness to the whole IVF process that can be extremely frustrating. Being "unexplained" is also compounds the frustration I think -- I wished so hard that they could find something wrong so we could 'fix' it or I would at least know why things weren't happening! I also had a "lucky" success with my first transfer and have a 13 month old girl as a result. Feel free to rant :-) This process is so challenging and frustrating!!
Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP. Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!
TTC #2
January/Feb 2021 - Freeze-all IVF cycle
March 2021 - FET of 1 PGS normal female embryo. BFP! Beta #1 156, #2 472, #3 1241, #4 5268 EDD 12/5/21 - Christmas baby!
"When all is lost then all is found."
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle RE thought I would get at least 10.
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
I think all your testing ideas are good ones. I have a call scheduled with my doctor and another call with one of my clinic’s recommended surrogacy agency. I am someone who also likes to have an action plan. What’s so frustrating with infertility is the lack of control and ability to see some of those plans through!
Seeing your responses truly gave me comfort. So, thank you again!
There is absolutely the risk of failure with a carrier. However, carriers go through such extensive vetting and have to have a proven ability to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. Most agencies require carriers to have had their own “planned” family prior to becoming a carrier so they have mostly have at least 1-2 children of their own already. My doc says the odds are definitely better with a carrier...mostly since she is thinking it’s me not the embryos. My husband is on the fence — it’s definitely a situation that takes some getting used to. But we have had good friends who did it and ultimately he’d rather not see me go through this anymore (I think the hospital stay was just too much). I wish it weren’t so $$$$ but short term pain for long term gain, I hope!