Infertility - trying to conceive #2 and need to vent — The Bump

Infertility - trying to conceive #2 and need to vent

I am on the tail end of another failed FET cycle and I need to vent. I was 28 when I first tried to get pregnant. After 2 years of no success, we did IVF. My case is unexplained infertility- nothing seems wrong on paper with me or my husband, if anything things look great. At my first egg retrieval we were disappointed. We only got 5 good eggs (4 ended up fertilizing - eventually we transferred 1 and froze 1 at day 5) and they told me we would have to wait a month to transfer since they believed I had a polyp. At a hysterectomy shortly thereafter, they couldn’t find a polyp. We scheduled a day 3 transfer and lo and behold I got pregnant with my now perfect 3 year old daughter. I am SO fortunate and realize that many don’t get that lucky. Fast forward 2 years, we decided to try for our second child. After 6 months of trying naturally, we returned to our clinic. Since then, I have now had 4 failed transfers: -FET: Embryo from my first cycle: We weren’t too surprised as the Embryo was a bit sow to develop but we tried since it was considered excellent quality. -Fresh: we ended up with 5 beautiful 5 day embryos and the Embryo transferred was considered ideal. However, after transfer I got my period and a positive pregnancy test. The embryo ended up implanting on my c-section scar and I miscarried at 7 weeks (thankfully as it is considered a very risky pregnancy). At that time, they saw what they thought was a polyp again so I had surgery to remove it but turns out it was part of the placenta that got stuck on my scar. -FET: another ideal Embryo failed. However this time I ended up in the hospital for 5 nights with a severe infection from the progesterone shots. They believe it started as an allergic reaction that turned infectious. I had a fever and cellulitis. My white blood cells were through the roof. They told me there was no way the Embryo would survive that environment. -FET: this is the first time I have tried a natural cycle. No hormones, except vaginal progesterone. They tracked my cycle and I had a perfect LH surge indicating ovulation. The day of the transfer, my uterine lining looked perfect and again we transferred a great Embryo. It didn’t work. I am not sure how much more I can handle. I’m tired and sad. They can’t find any problem to fix. I’ve been pregnant and my embryos always “look great, above average”. And yet here I am, not pregnant again. Exhausted. Discouraged. My husband and I are lucky to be in a position to consider surrogacy. Maybe it’s time?!

Re: Infertility - trying to conceive #2 and need to vent

  • mbradfo2mbradfo2
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Did you do PGS testing? It's not perfect but that's my only question in regards to your story -- the embryos can look good but still have issues. There are also other testing avenues you can pursue if you're up for it, but it sounds like you are at your wits' end. Maybe do some additional testing while starting to consider surrogacy and researching it? I always found it was helpful to have a plan B that I was working on....made failures feel less devastating.

    As much as we can time things perfectly, there is an amount of luck/randomness to the whole IVF process that can be extremely frustrating. Being "unexplained" is also compounds the frustration I think -- I wished so hard that they could find something wrong so we could 'fix' it or I would at least know why things weren't happening!  I also had a "lucky" success with my first transfer and have a 13 month old girl as a result.  Feel free to rant :-)  This process is so challenging and frustrating!!
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!

  • Did your dr discuss an ERA test? I wonder if the receptive time of your window for implantation has changed. It’s a Fairly new test and hear mixed reviews. It’s a very frustrating process for sure! Especially having to go through double procedures for the same thing glad your feeling better! Great if you can do surrogacy too.
    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

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  • keebs83keebs83
    10 Comments Name Dropper First Answer Photogenic
    I just wanted to say I am sorry. It really seems like you’ve been out through the ringer. Sending you prayers they can figure out what is the hang up so they can work past it!
  • Sounds like you have been through an awful lot.  (((Hugs)))  I dont have any treatment advise, but I dont blame you for feeling discouraged and looking for other options.  I have heard of people doing eras, autoimmune protocols and the like... sending you courage whatever way you path may lead. ❤
    Me: 35 | DH: 42 ~ TTC May 2015 thru Dec 2017
    5/16 - Began Creighton Method CM Tracking / Napro Fertility Medicine | Progesterone + various abx cycles - all BFNs
    8/16 - SHG: ute good, at least one tube open | 10/16 - MFI Azoo dx confirmed. No known genetic cause. Vas deferens absent.
    3/17 - DH started Clomid to prepare for MESA/TESE | 4/17 - Initial RE Consult for me. | 7/17 - Successful retrieval for DH!
    9/17 - Two BTB IVFs  | 10/17 - Polypectomy  |  11/17 - 1st FET ended in CP | 12/17 - 2nd FET ... BFP!!! <3 EDD: 09/09/18

    Our little miracle is finally here!

  • margot44margot44
    Third Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment Photogenic
    Thank you all for the kind words. I was feeling particularly down when I wrote this, and today I woke up with a focused appreciation for what I am lucky enough to have.

    I think all your testing ideas are good ones. I have a call scheduled with my doctor and another call with one of my clinic’s recommended surrogacy agency. I am someone who also likes to have an action plan. What’s so frustrating with infertility is the lack of control and ability to see some of those plans through!

    Seeing your responses truly gave me comfort. So, thank you again! 

  • @margot44 Sorry to hear you've been through so much to conceive baby #2!! I know it must be crushing to have multiple failed transfers. I haven't started IVF yet but plan to this summer. I suppose the concern with surrogacy would be similar - there's a chance the procedure won't take the first try. However, it would be less taxing on your own body as you bypass the injections so you avoid that stress. How does your husband feel about surrogacy? 
  • margot44margot44
    Third Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment Photogenic
    @nancinator Good luck with the start of IVF! It is a very exciting process and can be so incredible, even with all the ups and downs. 

    There is absolutely the risk of failure with a carrier. However, carriers go through such extensive vetting and have to have a proven ability to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. Most agencies require carriers to have had their own “planned” family prior to becoming a carrier so they have mostly have at least 1-2 children of their own already. My doc says the odds are definitely better with a carrier...mostly since she is thinking it’s me not the embryos. My husband is on the fence — it’s definitely a situation that takes some getting used to. But we have had good friends who did it and ultimately he’d rather not see me go through this anymore (I think the hospital stay was just too much). I wish it weren’t so $$$$ but short term pain for long term gain, I hope!
  • Hi Margot44
    I would actually recommend that you buy and read It Starts with the Egg. It has been really helpful in our iVF journey. She deals with reasons doctors aren't aware of for unexplained infertility, age-related infertility and miscarriage/recurrent miscarriage. The author has done a wealth of research and she has really helped a lot of people. I can't speak highly enough of the book. Give it a try, it might turn things around. Baby dust
  • I would definitely request an ERA. I had 6 early losses before I switched doctors and the new doctor did the ERA and low and behold i was considered “early receptive” which meant i needed 12 extra hours of progesterone 
  • Have you done accupuncture with any of the failed FETs?  When I added that I'm convinced that's what helped my current positive result.  I had low ovarian reserve and we ended up with donor embryos.
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