Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: April Randoms
Edit: words
we have been working on signing with him and it has helped some. He will tell me when he is done or wants more. The weird part is he made up his own sign for more which is the same sign my 10 year old did at this age so we knew.
@ashtuesday I hope you are doing well! I keep coming to see if there is any new news and living vicariously through you.
@mccurleya that is the sweetest! I love traditions like that.
@megpeg hope everyone is on the mend. Poor Declan! Six teeth - must be exhausting for everyone. That will be so great when he wears the outfit from your 10 year old though 💜
@fatstagnation sounds like it was a fun day - and agreed it doesn’t have to all be one day. That’s a reminder to myself to dress LO up whenever - it’s not like they fit in these outfits for long anyway 😃
Beyond that I don’t like hearing kids talking about specific weapons and taking headshots and sniping people. I feel horrible that he doesn’t have anyone to talk to because that’s all they talk about but I just have a terrible feeling in my heart every time we talk about it.
Also thinking of you @ashtuesday! How crazy to think you are overdue!
Hope everyone had a great Easter! We went to an Easter egg hunt and it was hilarious watching LO grab just one egg. He saw it, snatched it up, and didnt care about any other eggs.
@megpeg I'm sorry you're going through that. He'll find his people. And hopefully fortnite will pass soon. It's all my students talk about too.
@ashtuesday thinking of you as well! I hope you have her today so you don't have to worry about being induced.
So as you guys know from my constant complaining, I had a LOT of contractions in the past month that would intensify over the course of a few hours and then stop totally out of nowhere for a few days. It was frustrating, to say the least. They were real contractions that were causing dilation, but never moved into active labor. The plan was to induce yesterday, 04/25, if baby didn't show up on her own before then.
On Tuesday, 04/23, I noticed some sliiiiightly blood-tinged mucus (TMI?) around 11 AM that I was hoping was my bloody show - if that typically means real labor will start within 24-48 hours, it could mean avoiding induction. Around 1:45 PM, it was clear it was definitely the bloody show and I was pumped. It was a nice day out, so I decided to take a walk with Nora to keep my body in motion and maybe get baby moving. Well, in the time it took us to get from our house to the elementary school that is three houses down, I had two pretty significant contractions. I was ready to call my husband right then (especially because I'd had lots of contractions the day before), but thought "She's given me so many false starts and I'm not even TIMING these contractions yet, let me calm down." I started timing on the walk back: 4 minutes between my second and third contraction, 2 and a half minutes between my third and fourth, and they were lasting over thirty seconds. Since my husband works in the city and that timing/strength was worrying me, I called him to come home and called my mom to come by when she could to watch Nora. It was about 2:15 at this point.
I went upstairs to put Nora down for a nap and kept timing - now they were consistently coming every two minutes. I texted my husband asking for the last-minute things he needed for his hospital bag: my plan was to pack everything up and just get in the car when he got home from the train at 3:15. The contractions were now so strong I could barely make it around the room gathering stuff. I called the doctor at this point, although I felt silly doing so since I'd only been having contractions for half an hour. To my surprise, she told me to go straight to the hospital. I texted my mom telling her to hurry - if possible, I still wanted to wait for my husband (it was now 2:45), but figured my mom could throw N in the car and drop me off at the hospital if I couldn't wait any longer.
At this point, I went to use the bathroom and saw a HUGE amount of blood. I knew this wasn't normal, so I called the doctor back panicking... and she told me to call 911. Cops arrived at my house in less than two minutes - they were having trouble finding an ambulance that was available, but had calls out to neighboring towns. The contractions were coming stronger and stronger, and I basically kept pacing around my living room, cursing and panicking through it. My mom showed up around this point in full panic mode - I hadn't had time to text her that I had to call 911, so I can only imagine what she was feeling. She immediately tried to help however she could, and the cops forced me to lay down, saying the walking was only making baby come faster. I just kept cursing and saying "I really don't want to do it this way, you guys!" which my mom found pretty funny. I was also terrified though - on top of the idea of delivering without an epidural, with Nora, I had uncontrolled bleeding that took 45 minutes to stitch up and required a blood transfusion - and Nora was a month early, compared to this baby who was five days late! All I could think about was everything that could go wrong.
The contractions were still coming fast and strong, my panic level was at 9000, and I was still laying on my living room floor surrounded by cops, no ambulance in sight. I asked my mom to get me a glass of ice water. In the time it took her to walk to my kitchen, get it, and come back to the living room, my water had broken and baby was crowning. Her head was out two seconds later, which was serendipitously when the ambulance arrived from a neighboring town and the EMTs walked in. One push later, and Murphy was here! That was at 3:13 PM - less than an hour and a half after my first contraction.
Nora woke up around this point, and my mom brought her down to meet her new baby sister. My husband walked in the door about 5 minutes after Murph was born and just looked completely shell-shocked. He, Murph, and I got in the ambulance and went to the hospital. Delivering the placenta was almost more uncomfortable than actually delivering Murph (I guess because I didn't have sheer panic and terror to distract me). Murphy weighed in at 7 pounds, 15 ounces, and miraculously, I only had one small, first degree tear that only required one stitch! I CANNOT wrap my head around how much better my body feels than it did when Nora was born. With Nora, I was in so much pain for so long. Peeing made me cry for weeks. I would try to do simple things at home after she was born - like, stand at the sink for 15 minutes to wash bottles - and the rush of blood and pain from just standing up would force me to lie down on the couch for an hour to recover. My body feels so. normal! now. I am trying to take it easy of course, but I can pee! I can stand! I can walk! All without crying! And I've taken NO pain meds, not even Advil! It is wild. The human body, boy.
We got home from the hospital yesterday and all are doing well. I feel great, my husband's shock is wearing off. Murphy is doing a great job adjusting to the outside world - she is ravenously hungry all the time, which is such a strange difference from Nora, who we had to wake and force to eat, but it's great! Nora is doing a great job being a big sister so far. She keeps trying to share her toys with Murph, and rock and sing to her when she's in the swing, and rub her back to encourage her during tummy time. We keep reminding her to be gentle, and I'm hoping the transition to sisterhood will stay as positive as it is right now. My hormones are obviously in flux, so I'm already feeling a lot of that "Are we doing right by each of them?" guilt already, but I'm hoping it will level out with time. What a wild ride!!!
Any advice about sun protection? Vinny wants to be outside all the time. Her hair is still thin, so I'm trying to get her to wear hats, but I think we need some sunblock too. Suggestions?
This is what I bought for the summer. She already was using the aloe lotion after baths but I read it also helps with mosquitos so I stocked up.
I’m going to try the copertone sunscreen - but we haven’t used it yet. I need to get her a new ball cap because the one from last summer doesn’t fit, and we have a sun hat for the pool/beach. She has fair skin like my husband so I’m a little nervous about that.
@mccurleya I would go on the trip if you have the time and can - my cousins fly with their babies often, from what I understand all the gear is the hardest part. We haven’t done more than 2 hours in the car and she usually sleeps for it but I understand that’s a long ride. Good luck deciding.
The worst part is that he throws his dirty diaper in my daughters room and I don’t know he takes it off because he hides when he does it.
Vinny is such a toddler lately! She gobbles something up one day and the next time I give it to her, she spits it out and looks at me like I must be joking. She's fighting sleep, she's testing boundaries. All of it! I thought I would have more sweet baby time! wah
eta: thanks for the info @shoretobe I guess I just have to slather the sun block and hope for the best.