October 2019 Moms

Things People Say to Pregnant Women

Whether it's from your mother-in-law, co-worker, partner, stranger, etc. people sure have a lot of comments for pregnant women. What are some of the rude things people have said? Any weird advice? Share it here!

TTC History
Me: 38 DH: 52
Started trying June 2018
BFP Jan 2019 DD born October 2019
TTC July 2021 BFP, ended in MMC August 2021
TTC October 2021
BFP January 2022
MMC March 2022
Beginning May 2022 under the supervision of an RE - Benched while undergoing testing




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Re: Things People Say to Pregnant Women

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  • I love when people make the twins comments based on your size.

    I had 2 from the same GUY. I was probably around 38 weeks.

    His first was "wow, your almost due? Hasn't dropped yet, your going to go over your date" and then followed by "your carrying high, so it's a girl". Well buddy, 1 it's a boy, AS has given me great confidence in that detail. And 2. What do you mean he hasnt dropped?! As a waddled away..... Jokes on him as DS was 2 days early!
  • @PenelopeSnuz77 what that's terrible for that person to say. How tall are you? I'm 5'9 with a LONG torso too
  • So I found out at 6 months I was pregnant with my daughter. I never had morning sickness, never got a hard round stomach, I literally just thought I was getting fat cause I was on a new shift and getting used to a new schedule and eating more. My grandmother told me I needed to watch my weight like 3 weeks before I found out, so when I discovered it I called her and told her "well guess what I'm pregnant again, not just fat." She proceeded to tell me I needed to find looser clothes then and she'd take me shopping if I like because I didn't look pregnant. My grandma and I fight and butt heads badly already so I just started a huge fight over the phone instead of just ignoring her. (I do not get teary eyed emotional when pregnant, I go on a RAMPAGE. My dad told me he's always been able to tell when I'm pregnant cause I'm mad over everything. And I do. Rage is my pregnant super power I guess, not tears😂😂) she very disapproving of this pregnancy already. 
    With this one, I wore a tighter shirt and pants to work one day cause I have to move around the whole floor for my job. One of the older ladies made a comment that my hips were already widening and I'd probably be having a boy 😂 I'm like 10 weeks at this point and I just said uh yeah maybe 😂😂 I have felt like I'm waddling already 😔




  • andrawrmeda2andrawrmeda2 member
    edited April 2019
    A customer I encountered at work, 37 weeks pregnant with my first. I’m tall, with a really long torso, and measured small the whole pregnancy. 

    C: how far along are you?
    Me: 37 weeks! 🥰
    C: omg you look too small for 37 weeks. You should ask your doctor to check if there is something wrong with your baby
    Me: 😐😕😢 have a good day 

    It was my first pregnancy and caused so much silly stress. People are assholes. 
    So my grandma, again(🙄) made a comment to me when I was a week away from my due date with my oldest, my son, because I was very tiny. She asked me "are you sure you're due in a week and not in September. You don't even look 6 months pregnant. I had a big ol belly with your dad by the end! I think your doctor is wrong." These pictures were done a week before we got induced for my son, I was almost 41 weeks. I am a small person, barely 5' 1". I'm tiny. Both pregnancies I only gained 15 lbs if that. I wore the same jeans from high school to the hospital with my son and wore them home. I gained some weight between him and my daughter( they're 18 months apart) so I went up in size but I still wore jeans through it all and wore the same ones in and out too. This time around I've been wearing more leggings/yoga's cause it's easier to move around at work and I have 4 days off so I'm lazy😂 but I'm still fairly small🤷🏽‍♀️  (edit I didn't realize the blocks are backwards in that oicture😂😂😂 I've never noticed that! His name is Declan😂😂)




  • I know I've shared some of my MIL "gems" before, but I'll compile them here too for fun. My thoughts/reactions are in parentheses for fun 😉

    - was this pregnancy a surprise/unplanned/unexpected? (NO, but even if it was, it's none of your business anyway! GRRR)
    - you're craving meat? Oh it's definitely a boy then. (🙄)
    - be sure to eat healthy and exercise daily, it will help you get your figure back after giving birth. (😡😡😡)
    - be sure to gain plenty of weight, my SIL didn't eat enough or gain enough weight, and that's why her daughter has autism. (that's not how that works, AND that's incredibly offensive)
    - it's a girl? Oh.... I guess you'll just have to have another. (🤬)

    And one gem from my FIL, upon learning it's a girl: "start saving for the wedding." Ummmm thanks for your unsolicited advice but I'll think we'll focus on things like saving for college, instead.
  • galentine said:
    Just a general comment: WHY do people think it's ok to comment on a pregnant woman's weight or size? Most people know better than to comment on a woman's size in general, but then as soon as the woman is pregnant, it's like people lose whatever filter they had. Unless you are the woman's medical provider, your commentary on her size, weight, shape, or how she is carrying is not necessary or wanted!
    For real!! 




  • @galentine you’ve got some good ones!  😂 
    (not laughing at you, just the comments)
  • marbellie said:
    @PenelopeSnuz77 what that's terrible for that person to say. How tall are you? I'm 5'9 with a LONG torso too
    I’m 5’11, super long torso! It works to my benefit - I don’t get very big and I think it has something to do with my lack of stretch marks 🤞🏻
    BabyFetus TickerBabyFruit Ticker

  • galentine said:
    Just a general comment: WHY do people think it's ok to comment on a pregnant woman's weight or size? Most people know better than to comment on a woman's size in general, but then as soon as the woman is pregnant, it's like people lose whatever filter they had. Unless you are the woman's medical provider, your commentary on her size, weight, shape, or how she is carrying is not necessary or wanted!
    For real! As if I didn't already feel self conscious about my size lets just go and make this worse....
  • a friend at work like 2 weeks ago. He knew I was pregnancy, but I hadn't told everyone else at work - 'I feel like I can tell you are pregnant now. You just appear a little thicker. Especially in the legs and face'. Oddly specific. Stop starting at my legs. 

    When I was pregnant with DD, there was this guy at work whose wife was like 2 months behind me. He asked me at one point how much weight I had gained and what was 'normal' and that he was concerned about his wife gaining too much and not being able to lose it all right after. I almost smacked him. 
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • I shared this in Randoms earlier this week. But since I'm still stewing about it now, I'm putting it in this thread where it belongs.

    Conversation with a lady in my building I've never seen or spoken to in my life:
    Lady: Can I help you with that door? You've really got your hands full!
    Me: No thanks, I've got it. I'm used to it. 
    Lady: Yeah, you must be by now, looks like you're pretty far along. What do you have,  two months to go?
    Me? Er, no, more like 6 months to go. 
    Lady: (eyes get wide, stares at my belly, mouth agape) That's only 3 months? Oh my God! That's going to be a big baby! 
    Me, walking away, very irritated: Yeah, who knows?
    Lady, calling after me from way down the hall: Hey, maybe it's twins?
  • Oh okay I got one, I wasn't pregnant but I still felt insulted. So I was using Lyft one day and I had a talkative driver. His fiance was 6 months pregnant he was telling me. Then he started complaining about her not cooking or cleaning enough because she was so tired. I told him yea that happens when you're pregnant. I told him how exhausted I was during my first and he asked me if I worked, I said yes. Then he proceeded to explain how she shouldn't be tired since she didn't have a job. He had already insulted me once so it took a lot of patience for me to not verbally slap him. In fact I was tempted to just ask him to stop so I could get out of the car.
  • @cooaladolly Good for you for speaking up! How incredibly rude!
  • ab920ab920 member
    Mine was right AFTER I had my baby and my FIL asked, "When do you think you'll lose the baby weight?" 
  • I am toward the end of a very rigorous anesthesia program right now and it can be frowned upon to be pregnant while in school because they think the program takes precedence over anything. I've had several classmates, other CRNAs, etc ask if this was a planned pregnancy. Some are like, wow, that's going to be so tough. I don't know how you do it. So it's very bittersweet to tell people I'm pregnant. 

    But really, it's no different getting pregnant now vs. when I'm a working CRNA next year. At least now, I can leave the room to go pee. Won't have that luxury when I'm on my own!  Only hard part is going to be studying for boards with a newborn.
  • I’ve been lucky this pregnancy so far but with my son I had a coworker pipe up with “And this is why you don’t hire women” when he heard I was pregnant. Unbelievable! 

    Another coworker kept kept calling me Big Mama while I was still quite early in my pregnancy and it drove me nuts! I finally asked her to stop and she actually did until my third trimester she started again with the explanation that I was truly a big mama at that point 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

    Some people truly don’t think!! 
  • @geminigirl16 that is so sexist I probably would have went to HR about that one
    Me: 35 DH: 47

    HX
    DSS: 20
    DSD: 17
    DS: 4(Nov'14)
    MMC:8/17
    MMC: 1/18
    BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19

    Tickers
    BabyGaga
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


  • @kindbytealikat Trust me, I seriously debated it then decided to ignore it. He was gone by the time I returned from maternity leave and I also changed companies not long after. 
  • Ok, first comment from someone at work I *haven't* told... 
    Her: (grinning and looking back and forth from my face and my belly) you look tired... Is something happening...?
    Me: how did you know..?
    Me after (I thought *women* knew not to ask/imply someone is pregnant even if they are starting to show...) 

    I have been trying to wear looser shirts, but apparently people can still tell. Anyone else have awkward protocol for announcing at work? I don't think a mass email is the way to go here...
  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    @cheznet I just showed up wearing a maternity shirt one day lol (my boss already knew)
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • @cheznet +1 to telling the gossips. I knew in my office I only had to tell the main core of people and it would filter all the way around like wild fire. I work inside the admin office at FedEx and I only told boss and five co-workers the beginning of last week. Boss outed me to the rest of the office in a staff meeting later that week (oh well) and by now half of my drivers (there are 90 of them) are congratulating me as well. It always makes me laugh at how that happens.
    Me: 41 / Fiance: 35 +  One DS, one dog & two kitties...
    First BFP: 1/17/16 = EDD 9/21/16 (MMC)
    Second BFP: 6/24/16 (CP)
    Third BFP: 2/7/17 = EDD 10/20/17 🌈 *** BORN 10/23 *** 🌈
    Fourth BFP : 2/5/19 = EDD 10/14/19
         BabyGaga
  • My old supervisor kept monitoring what I ate - not specifically how healthy but how much salt. I was so happy to be off for maternity leave.

    My mom keeps telling me I'm her baby and three kids is so much. Dude.

    When we told FIL DD2 was a girl he's like you'll just have to have another. Well, yes, but I wanted three girls regardless, so his point would be....?


    The original: Aug2013
    The remix: Feb2017
    The encore: coming Oct2019

     
  • I'm a second grade teacher and I had a kid ask, "are you going to have a baby?" She said it quietly and I don't think anyone noticed (no other kids said anything), but it was while the whole group was sitting at the rug!! I just said, "shhhh" and waved my hand at her like, "don't say that out loud" and she interpreted that to mean that I'm not. So she said, "aww.. it would be cool if you were!"

    My belly has decided to pop out noticeably just this week and I don't have many baggy clothes to hide it....

    I think I might just tell them tomorrow to avoid more awkward interactions like this!
  • Similar to @cheznet and @cooaladolly I told my coworker who notoriously cannot keep a secret. She has told more people than I have at work and for the rest, I’m just waiting for the growing belly to give it away. 
  • @greenbean-2 I'm sorry you FIL is such an old fashioned a$$. I truly cannot stand people who think like that. Much less feel the need to Express such aweful thoughts. I'm really happy YH stepped up and vetoed the visit though. You are totally justified in only wanting uplifting and supportive people around you at that time of your life.

  • Oh and yesterday he made a comment about how they would be visiting in mid-October. Maybe I’m a terrible human, but IMO visiting a family immediately after a birth is a privilege and not a right. You have to ask. New grandchild or not, I don’t want someone I only tolerate because I have to hanging around when I’m at my most vulnerable. Not gonna happen, dude. Thankfully DH shut that talk down right away. 
    THIS. I am glad your H put his foot down. 
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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