Oh my gosh. With DS, my in-laws *said* they would wait a little while before visiting after the baby came. Then as soon as they got the call he’d been born, they were on the road (a six hour drive) to visit immediately. Luckily they didn’t stay with us, but when they did come over they overstayed their welcome and weren’t much help to me at all. They just wanted to hold the baby all the time. It was a really stressful time for me (breastfeeding difficulty, excess weight loss and jaundice) and I’m going to insist we do things differently this time around.
@greenbean-2 I’m so sorry you have to deal with your FIL’s insensitivity. At least DH is fully on your side!
These IL stories sound like what my ILs would do if their dogs weren’t banned from my house 🙈 they’d be camping out in the hospital if I told them where I’d be delivering at (perks of having 4 hospitals within a 30 minute drive, I guess)
Toxic family members seems to be the specific of the week 🙄 my grandma (which is the one I'm thinking of cutting out finally) told me when we had our son we didn't need more children cause we had a boy. Then when we had our daughter, she goes you got lucky you have one of each now! Time to tie your tubes. Yesterday she asks are you finally gonna tie your tubes, you insurance cover it. It needs to be done. She has never given us help, never comes around or calls unless she's gonna yell at me for something I said or how I act. I told her to shut it cause it's none of her concern if I have a football team or I stick with three. 🙄🙄🙄
This wasn't offensive so much as just awkward, but... I was at my son's art class last week and told the group I was pregnant. The instructor was like, "You, know, I thought you might be, because you go to the bathroom A LOT."
What she doesn't realize is that I was going to the bathroom just as much before pregnancy because the class is at 10am and that's about when my multiple cups of coffee made their way through me. Now I'm going to be self-conscious about my bathroom usage.
Boy I'm glad my MiL lives away from me lol. We don't have a close relationship with her and she knows her boundaries. We still get comments from others though..... Pregnancy makes everyone experts lol.
I follow my mom's advice now and just smile and nod.
From before I was pregnant, but I asked one of our admins about getting an additional accelerated physics course offered for next year, as I'd be willing to teach it, and a different (female!) admin said "But isn't your son about 2? I assume you'll be trying for another soon, and I doubt you'll still want the responsibility then." I was livid!
From before I was pregnant, but I asked one of our admins about getting an additional accelerated physics course offered for next year, as I'd be willing to teach it, and a different (female!) admin said "But isn't your son about 2? I assume you'll be trying for another soon, and I doubt you'll still want the responsibility then." I was livid!
From before I was pregnant, but I asked one of our admins about getting an additional accelerated physics course offered for next year, as I'd be willing to teach it, and a different (female!) admin said "But isn't your son about 2? I assume you'll be trying for another soon, and I doubt you'll still want the responsibility then." I was livid!
From before I was pregnant, but I asked one of our admins about getting an additional accelerated physics course offered for next year, as I'd be willing to teach it, and a different (female!) admin said "But isn't your son about 2? I assume you'll be trying for another soon, and I doubt you'll still want the responsibility then." I was livid!
OH HELL NO.
What she said. Unbelievable!!
I 2nd that what she said, but I'd probably add some expletives lol
Yeah, I was super pissed, but the course was approved, and, look, I'm pregnant and still want to teach it! Yes, I bet I'll be tired next year, but you bet your ass I'll never let her see me as anything but chipper and eager to be here.
Yeah, I was super pissed, but the course was approved, and, look, I'm pregnant and still want to teach it! Yes, I bet I'll be tired next year, but you bet your ass I'll never let her see me as anything but chipper and eager to be here.
I would totally be petty and ask her occasionally if she's okay, because she looks tired today.
Just two minutes ago, from one of my coworkers on a conference call: "Oh it's going to be so fun to watch you get fat!" Ummmmmmm
What an odd thing to say. But it made me think of when Gloria was pregnant on Modern Family. Claire was always jealous of Gloria, so I think you should take it as a compliment 😉
@melanier26 Too funny! I remember that too, and I like that perspective. When she said it on the call, I was basically struck dumb. I said nothing - no one else did either, there was just a long, awkward pause. Then our CEO cleared his throat and said, "So the first thing on our agenda today is..." Hahaha
I'm really glad I'm not finding out the sex, simply because I wouldn't be able to contain my response if I got a negative response like this. To shut them up, maybe say, "Yes, we do know, but we're keeping it a secret until after the birth for personal reasons."
ETA: I realize I don't really have room to speak on this, but I've heard people use that response before and it seems to end the discussion pretty quickly, with only a few still trying to pry it from the woman after the fact.
@galentine Argh!! That’s obviously the implied flip side of the comment I got but the fact that someone would actually say that out loud makes me want to throw something. We need to come up with some good responses to that type of comment.
@meagan-t same. it's almost a relief I get to avoid this conversation. In other news, I got judged at a wedding for taking two sips (two SIPS!) of DH's beer. Whatever.
@meagan-t same. it's almost a relief I get to avoid this conversation. In other news, I got judged at a wedding for taking two sips (two SIPS!) of DH's beer. Whatever.
Solidarity. I had one woman flat out go “I can’t watch this!” when I had a half glass of wine while pregnant with DS1. She was a nurse and knew it was okay here and there, too
My family is the opposite! And so are my in laws! My youngest SIL has 2 girls. She wanted only two kids, but because her husband doesn't have a boy(her words not his!!!!) They'll be having one more and it better be a boy cause she's done after that🤦🏽♀️ my oldest SIL has 2 boys and her last was a girl. She wanted one more cause her SO has 2 girls only. He got snipped cause he didn't want anymore and she was upset cause she wanted a boy for him. He's perfectly happy with 2 girls. They both told us when we had a boy and girl we were perfect now🤦🏽♀️ I'm happy to be team green cause it's irritating them I won't let them know what it is. No one is gonna know til this baby comes out of me 😂 my grandma keeps going on about how I didn't need anymore cause I had a boy and a girl and it was a perfect nuclear family, minus that were not married. Ughh. So back to coworkers. I have one that keeps telling me I'm gonna be big as a house if I keep eating so much. Grrr. Another tells me I'm finally starting to look pregnant. Nope I still look fat😂 but thanks I guess.
My anatomy scan is in 2 weeks and I’m already trying to think up good comebacks for the people who would inevitably say we can “be done” since we already have a boy
@meagan-t same. it's almost a relief I get to avoid this conversation. In other news, I got judged at a wedding for taking two sips (two SIPS!) of DH's beer. Whatever.
Ugh I can't even read these today without getting mad - guess I'm just in that kind of mood. This is so dumb, and people are so judgey! Next time I say have a whole beer. If they're going to judge you over it, it might as well be worth it!
ETA because my outrage made me incapable of proper spelling
So far I was just chewed out by my MIL because my fiance and I found out the sex asap versus keeping it a surprise. I have also been lectured about having a glass of pop at dinner by her. Gotta love the in laws 😁
You guys these all had me laughing with some of these!! What is it with grandparents and in-laws?
-Yesterday my grandmother grabbed my cheeks and told me “you’re getting so chubby and chunky...MAMA” (sidenote: I hate when she calls me that. It’s what I called my mother who passed away... I’m still my first name to you until my child can call me mom). My moms death was tragic so it is a trigger for me. And thanks for the “chunky” compliment lol!
-my MIL has had a few jabs at my weight. On Easter she saw me take fruit and announced in front of the table “I’m glad you’re watching what you eat for my grand baby!” Ummm... I’ll eat whatever I want to thanks!
-My MIL offered to give me the maternity clothes she bought for her daughter, because “Julie was in such good shape she never needed maternity clothes”. Subtle jab but I’ll take the clothes
Reviving this thread because I have a good one from this week.
I made the mistake of telling my in-laws that baby was measuring in the 25th percentile. My H is basically a giant, so my MIL refused to believe that the baby is ok if she is so small. Her first comment was, "Omg what's wrong with her?!" Ummmm nothing?! We just finished telling you the scan went great and the baby is healthy. She later said to my H, "Galentine must not be gaining enough weight, and that's why the baby is too small. "
(Disclaimer on this one: my H is a very sweet man and would never judge my choices, so this exchange was all in jest.) We went out to lunch, and after having basically zero caffeine for the past 6 months, I ordered a pop. Our exchange went something like this:
Me (to the waitress): I'll take a Pepsi, please.
H: are you sure you should be having a caffeinated pop?
Me: .....are you sure you should be asking me that?!
“Umm, so are you sure you just didn’t eat to many muffins? You don’t look or act pregnant.” - my husband as a joke which did lead to him getting the stink eye even though we both knew he was joking.
Re: Things People Say to Pregnant Women
@greenbean-2 I’m so sorry you have to deal with your FIL’s insensitivity. At least DH is fully on your side!
Me 39 - DH 41
Married 8/26/07
TTGP #1 Jan '15 -
BFP 9/11/15 - DS born 5/31/16
TTGP #2 July '17 -
CP July '17
Blighted Ovum MC Dec '17
CP June '18
BFP 1/30/19 - EDD 10/13/19
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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What she doesn't realize is that I was going to the bathroom just as much before pregnancy because the class is at 10am and that's about when my multiple cups of coffee made their way through me. Now I'm going to be self-conscious about my bathroom usage.
I follow my mom's advice now and just smile and nod.
One friend didn't even bother with congratulations. She just said "well you're gonna have your hands full!"
Another went with the classic "you know what causes that right?" I said "No...do tell." Which apparently made him uncomfortable
@jenferlee82
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
random person at work who I don’t know very well: “Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”
me: “it’s a boy”
coworker: “Oh! Your husband must be so happy!”
Um, yes of course. So am I for that matter. But we would have been equally thrilled with another girl.
I know this kind of sentiment is so common. But the implication that my daughter is not “enough” makes me rage.
I have been getting the opposite - people assuming my H must be disappointed having a girl.
Coworker: what are you having?
Me: it's a girl!
Coworker: cool! Ohhhh, is your H disappointed?
Me:......................... no.
they really don’t like it when I point out I kinda wanted a boy for consistency 😂
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
ETA: I realize I don't really have room to speak on this, but I've heard people use that response before and it seems to end the discussion pretty quickly, with only a few still trying to pry it from the woman after the fact.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
So back to coworkers. I have one that keeps telling me I'm gonna be big as a house if I keep eating so much. Grrr. Another tells me I'm finally starting to look pregnant. Nope I still look fat😂 but thanks I guess.
ETA because my outrage made me incapable of proper spelling
-Yesterday my grandmother grabbed my cheeks and told me “you’re getting so chubby and chunky...MAMA” (sidenote: I hate when she calls me that. It’s what I called my mother who passed away... I’m still my first name to you until my child can call me mom). My moms death was tragic so it is a trigger for me. And thanks for the “chunky” compliment lol!
-my MIL has had a few jabs at my weight. On Easter she saw me take fruit and announced in front of the table “I’m glad you’re watching what you eat for my grand baby!” Ummm... I’ll eat whatever I want to thanks!
-My MIL offered to give me the maternity clothes she bought for her daughter, because “Julie was in such good shape she never needed maternity clothes”. Subtle jab but I’ll take the clothes
I made the mistake of telling my in-laws that baby was measuring in the 25th percentile. My H is basically a giant, so my MIL refused to believe that the baby is ok if she is so small. Her first comment was, "Omg what's wrong with her?!" Ummmm nothing?! We just finished telling you the scan went great and the baby is healthy. She later said to my H, "Galentine must not be gaining enough weight, and that's why the baby is too small. "
Me (to the waitress): I'll take a Pepsi, please.
H: are you sure you should be having a caffeinated pop?
Me: .....are you sure you should be asking me that?!
Been on vacation with them less than 3 hours and screaming on the inside 😂