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October 2019 Moms
elle-0409
member
Things People Say to Pregnant Women
elle-0409
member
Whether it's from your mother-in-law, co-worker, partner, stranger, etc. people sure have a lot of comments for pregnant women. What are some of the rude things people have said? Any weird advice? Share it here!
TTC History
Me: 38 DH: 52
Started trying June 2018
BFP Jan 2019 DD born October 2019
TTC July 2021 BFP, ended in MMC August 2021
TTC October 2021
BFP January 2022
MMC March 2022
Beginning May 2022 under the supervision of an RE - Benched while undergoing testing
Re: Things People Say to Pregnant Women
I was checking out at Walmart with some groceries. The conversation with the cashier goes like this-
C: when are you due?
M: 3 weeks
C: 3 weeks?! You’re so huge! That’s going to be one big baby!
Me: No.. actually, he’s measuring really small, and we don’t know why
C: you need to eat more meat.
Me: I eat plenty
C: but you’re so big! There’s no way he’s that small
I left the store sobbing at that interaction, to the point I was extremely tempted to talk to her manager.
And FTR, he came out exactly as the predicted, barely hitting 7 lbs and only because they weighed him before he peed himself in the face.
People are really horrible to pregnant women
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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My conversation with my grandmother goes like this—
G: you’re never going to put her in a dress, are you?
M: No, I will for special occasions like family photos until she says otherwise...
G: good! She’ll know who she is!
🤔🤔 yes, because she needs to wear dresses and bows to know she is genetically female 🙄
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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Um, one day at a time, the same as everyone else? Thanks for the vote of confidence 😡
When I was pregnant with my daughter and I was in my 2nd trimester. On my way to work a lady stopped and talked to me. I was so freaking mad the rest of the way there. Yes I’m a bigger girl so I may look bigger, but damn keep your mouth shut.
Stranger: How far along are you?
Me: 6 months
Lady: Oh my your big, I thought you were like 9 months
Me: Nope
Lady:…..Is it twins?
Me: Nope just one very long baby
Lady: You’re too big, you might not make it
Me: Have a good day
-“Are you sure there aren’t two in there?”- my grandma, referring to my size at 30 weeks
-“You shouldn’t be drinking that”- cashier at the cafeteria when ringing up my coffee
Technically not pregnant during the following but still notable:
-“You don’t look like you’ve lost any weight at all”- a “friend” visiting me at the hospital 1 day after giving birth
-“That’s gross. He’s too old for that”- my MIL referring to me nursing my newly turned 1 year old
Ah, humanity.
I had 2 from the same GUY. I was probably around 38 weeks.
His first was "wow, your almost due? Hasn't dropped yet, your going to go over your date" and then followed by "your carrying high, so it's a girl". Well buddy, 1 it's a boy, AS has given me great confidence in that detail. And 2. What do you mean he hasnt dropped?! As a waddled away..... Jokes on him as DS was 2 days early!
C: how far along are you?
Me: 37 weeks! 🥰
C: omg you look too small for 37 weeks. You should ask your doctor to check if there is something wrong with your baby
Me: 😐😕😢 have a good day
It was my first pregnancy and caused so much silly stress. People are assholes.
With this one, I wore a tighter shirt and pants to work one day cause I have to move around the whole floor for my job. One of the older ladies made a comment that my hips were already widening and I'd probably be having a boy 😂 I'm like 10 weeks at this point and I just said uh yeah maybe 😂😂 I have felt like I'm waddling already 😔
- was this pregnancy a surprise/unplanned/unexpected? (NO, but even if it was, it's none of your business anyway! GRRR)
- you're craving meat? Oh it's definitely a boy then. (🙄)
- be sure to eat healthy and exercise daily, it will help you get your figure back after giving birth. (😡😡😡)
- be sure to gain plenty of weight, my SIL didn't eat enough or gain enough weight, and that's why her daughter has autism. (that's not how that works, AND that's incredibly offensive)
- it's a girl? Oh.... I guess you'll just have to have another. (🤬)
And one gem from my FIL, upon learning it's a girl: "start saving for the wedding." Ummmm thanks for your unsolicited advice but I'll think we'll focus on things like saving for college, instead.
(not laughing at you, just the comments)
When I was pregnant with DD, there was this guy at work whose wife was like 2 months behind me. He asked me at one point how much weight I had gained and what was 'normal' and that he was concerned about his wife gaining too much and not being able to lose it all right after. I almost smacked him.
Listen buddy - that is a code word for "bossy" and I f-ing know it. It's not pregnancy hormones causing me to speak up, it's the fact that your statement was wrong and I'm going to call your ass out when you're wrong!
Edited because typos
My co-workers are just as bad as most of yours.
Last time one when I announced a male co-worker said “we all know how that happens!” and I deadpanned said “yup! Lots of sex!” 🖕🏻
But really, it's no different getting pregnant now vs. when I'm a working CRNA next year. At least now, I can leave the room to go pee. Won't have that luxury when I'm on my own! Only hard part is going to be studying for boards with a newborn.
Another coworker kept kept calling me Big Mama while I was still quite early in my pregnancy and it drove me nuts! I finally asked her to stop and she actually did until my third trimester she started again with the explanation that I was truly a big mama at that point 🤦🏻♀️
Some people truly don’t think!!
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Her: (grinning and looking back and forth from my face and my belly) you look tired... Is something happening...?
Me: how did you know..?
Me after (I thought *women* knew not to ask/imply someone is pregnant even if they are starting to show...)
I have been trying to wear looser shirts, but apparently people can still tell. Anyone else have awkward protocol for announcing at work? I don't think a mass email is the way to go here...
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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My belly has decided to pop out noticeably just this week and I don't have many baggy clothes to hide it....
I think I might just tell them tomorrow to avoid more awkward interactions like this!
I’ve said offhand before that if we had another girl this time, we would probably have pressure from FIL to have a third to try for a boy. We’re having a boy, and are thrilled but we would have been thrilled with another daughter too.
Anyway, on phone calls with his parents lately, we said we weren’t telling the sex yet, but DH has been accidentally referring to our fetus as “she” because we’ve gotten so used to that pronoun. We finally announced the sex to our families and FIL’s response was something like “well, this saves us from having a different conversation” (ie about having a third).
I suspected this was how he felt, but I’m so angry that I was right. I’m so angry that he cares so much about whether one of my children has a penis - is my wonderful daughter not good enough for him? I’m so angry that he thinks he has ANY say whatsoever on my reproductive choices, especially because pregnancy is awful for me and I didn’t make the choice lightly to try to have a second child. I’m just so done with him and honestly wish we could cut him out of our lives.
Oh and yesterday he made a comment about how they would be visiting in mid-October. Maybe I’m a terrible human, but IMO visiting a family immediately after a birth is a privilege and not a right. You have to ask. New grandchild or not, I don’t want someone I only tolerate because I have to hanging around when I’m at my most vulnerable. Not gonna happen, dude. Thankfully DH shut that talk down right away.