Whether it's from your mother-in-law, co-worker, partner, stranger, etc. people sure have a lot of comments for pregnant women. What are some of the rude things people have said? Any weird advice? Share it here!
TTC History
Spoiler
Me: 38 DH: 52
Started trying June 2018
BFP Jan 2019 DD born October 2019
TTC July 2021 BFP, ended in MMC August 2021
TTC October 2021
BFP January 2022
MMC March 2022
Beginning May 2022 under the supervision of an RE - Benched while undergoing testing
I have a bunch. I’ll start with one I have one from DS2... i had just had a growth scan a few days prior showing he was measuring 3-4 weeks behind (he was measuring 33ish weeks when I was 37w), for reference.
I was checking out at Walmart with some groceries. The conversation with the cashier goes like this- C: when are you due? M: 3 weeks C: 3 weeks?! You’re so huge! That’s going to be one big baby! Me: No.. actually, he’s measuring really small, and we don’t know why C: you need to eat more meat. Me: I eat plenty C: but you’re so big! There’s no way he’s that small
I left the store sobbing at that interaction, to the point I was extremely tempted to talk to her manager.
And FTR, he came out exactly as the predicted, barely hitting 7 lbs and only because they weighed him before he peed himself in the face.
We decided to tell our families that this one is a girl but are keeping the name a secret.
My conversation with my grandmother goes like this— G: you’re never going to put her in a dress, are you? M: No, I will for special occasions like family photos until she says otherwise... G: good! She’ll know who she is!
🤔🤔 yes, because she needs to wear dresses and bows to know she is genetically female 🙄
When I was pregnant with my daughter and I was in my 2nd
trimester. On my way to work a lady stopped and talked to me. I was so freaking
mad the rest of the way there. Yes I’m a bigger girl so I may look bigger, but
damn keep your mouth shut.
Stranger: How far along are you?
Me: 6 months
Lady: Oh my your big, I thought you were like 9 months
I haven’t gotten any terrible comments this round yet but here are some from previous pregnancies.
-“Are you sure there aren’t two in there?”- my grandma, referring to my size at 30 weeks -“You shouldn’t be drinking that”- cashier at the cafeteria when ringing up my coffee
Technically not pregnant during the following but still notable: -“You don’t look like you’ve lost any weight at all”- a “friend” visiting me at the hospital 1 day after giving birth -“That’s gross. He’s too old for that”- my MIL referring to me nursing my newly turned 1 year old
I love when people make the twins comments based on your size.
I had 2 from the same GUY. I was probably around 38 weeks.
His first was "wow, your almost due? Hasn't dropped yet, your going to go over your date" and then followed by "your carrying high, so it's a girl". Well buddy, 1 it's a boy, AS has given me great confidence in that detail. And 2. What do you mean he hasnt dropped?! As a waddled away..... Jokes on him as DS was 2 days early!
A customer I encountered at work, 37 weeks pregnant with my first. I’m tall, with a really long torso, and measured small the whole pregnancy.
C: how far along are you? Me: 37 weeks! 🥰 C: omg you look too small for 37 weeks. You should ask your doctor to check if there is something wrong with your baby Me: 😐😕😢 have a good day
It was my first pregnancy and caused so much silly stress. People are assholes.
So I found out at 6 months I was pregnant with my daughter. I never had morning sickness, never got a hard round stomach, I literally just thought I was getting fat cause I was on a new shift and getting used to a new schedule and eating more. My grandmother told me I needed to watch my weight like 3 weeks before I found out, so when I discovered it I called her and told her "well guess what I'm pregnant again, not just fat." She proceeded to tell me I needed to find looser clothes then and she'd take me shopping if I like because I didn't look pregnant. My grandma and I fight and butt heads badly already so I just started a huge fight over the phone instead of just ignoring her. (I do not get teary eyed emotional when pregnant, I go on a RAMPAGE. My dad told me he's always been able to tell when I'm pregnant cause I'm mad over everything. And I do. Rage is my pregnant super power I guess, not tears😂😂) she very disapproving of this pregnancy already. With this one, I wore a tighter shirt and pants to work one day cause I have to move around the whole floor for my job. One of the older ladies made a comment that my hips were already widening and I'd probably be having a boy 😂 I'm like 10 weeks at this point and I just said uh yeah maybe 😂😂 I have felt like I'm waddling already 😔
A customer I encountered at work, 37 weeks pregnant with my first. I’m tall, with a really long torso, and measured small the whole pregnancy.
C: how far along are you? Me: 37 weeks! 🥰 C: omg you look too small for 37 weeks. You should ask your doctor to check if there is something wrong with your baby Me: 😐😕😢 have a good day
It was my first pregnancy and caused so much silly stress. People are assholes.
So my grandma, again(🙄) made a comment to me when I was a week away from my due date with my oldest, my son, because I was very tiny. She asked me "are you sure you're due in a week and not in September. You don't even look 6 months pregnant. I had a big ol belly with your dad by the end! I think your doctor is wrong." These pictures were done a week before we got induced for my son, I was almost 41 weeks. I am a small person, barely 5' 1". I'm tiny. Both pregnancies I only gained 15 lbs if that. I wore the same jeans from high school to the hospital with my son and wore them home. I gained some weight between him and my daughter( they're 18 months apart) so I went up in size but I still wore jeans through it all and wore the same ones in and out too. This time around I've been wearing more leggings/yoga's cause it's easier to move around at work and I have 4 days off so I'm lazy😂 but I'm still fairly small🤷🏽♀️ (edit I didn't realize the blocks are backwards in that oicture😂😂😂 I've never noticed that! His name is Declan😂😂)
I know I've shared some of my MIL "gems" before, but I'll compile them here too for fun. My thoughts/reactions are in parentheses for fun 😉
- was this pregnancy a surprise/unplanned/unexpected? (NO, but even if it was, it's none of your business anyway! GRRR) - you're craving meat? Oh it's definitely a boy then. (🙄) - be sure to eat healthy and exercise daily, it will help you get your figure back after giving birth. (😡😡😡) - be sure to gain plenty of weight, my SIL didn't eat enough or gain enough weight, and that's why her daughter has autism. (that's not how that works, AND that's incredibly offensive) - it's a girl? Oh.... I guess you'll just have to have another. (🤬)
And one gem from my FIL, upon learning it's a girl: "start saving for the wedding." Ummmm thanks for your unsolicited advice but I'll think we'll focus on things like saving for college, instead.
Just a general comment: WHY do people think it's ok to comment on a pregnant woman's weight or size? Most people know better than to comment on a woman's size in general, but then as soon as the woman is pregnant, it's like people lose whatever filter they had. Unless you are the woman's medical provider, your commentary on her size, weight, shape, or how she is carrying is not necessary or wanted!
Just a general comment: WHY do people think it's ok to comment on a pregnant woman's weight or size? Most people know better than to comment on a woman's size in general, but then as soon as the woman is pregnant, it's like people lose whatever filter they had. Unless you are the woman's medical provider, your commentary on her size, weight, shape, or how she is carrying is not necessary or wanted!
Just a general comment: WHY do people think it's ok to comment on a pregnant woman's weight or size? Most people know better than to comment on a woman's size in general, but then as soon as the woman is pregnant, it's like people lose whatever filter they had. Unless you are the woman's medical provider, your commentary on her size, weight, shape, or how she is carrying is not necessary or wanted!
For real! As if I didn't already feel self conscious about my size lets just go and make this worse....
a friend at work like 2 weeks ago. He knew I was pregnancy, but I hadn't told everyone else at work - 'I feel like I can tell you are pregnant now. You just appear a little thicker. Especially in the legs and face'. Oddly specific. Stop starting at my legs.
When I was pregnant with DD, there was this guy at work whose wife was like 2 months behind me. He asked me at one point how much weight I had gained and what was 'normal' and that he was concerned about his wife gaining too much and not being able to lose it all right after. I almost smacked him.
When I was pregnant with DD, there was this guy at work whose wife was like 2 months behind me. He asked me at one point how much weight I had gained and what was 'normal' and that he was concerned about his wife gaining too much and not being able to lose it all right after. I almost smacked him.
My boss earlier this week, on a call with the rest of the executive team after I voiced my opinion on a topic: "Wow, that baby is bringing out the more assertive side of you, isn't she? Pregnant Jen is Assertive Jen, apparently."
Listen buddy - that is a code word for "bossy" and I f-ing know it. It's not pregnancy hormones causing me to speak up, it's the fact that your statement was wrong and I'm going to call your ass out when you're wrong!
I finally snapped myself. I have a co-worker that both times I've been pregnant just doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut on anything. Last pregnancy when she found out, first thing she says is "oh oh, can I tell 'Jane'?" 'Jane' my best friend co-worker on the opposite shift that I had previously worked on. I of course told her absolutely not, I'd like to tell my friend myself. Throughout that pregnancy she constantly (at least once a week) told me in one way or another that I looked bigger than I "should". Not sure how I held it together last time since at one point I did make an angry Facebook post about the whole thing. But for the most part I didn't have to see her much so I guess I just went home angry all the time.
Fast forward to this pregnancy, now we sit only a few feet from each other, and strangely enough we've been getting along ok lately despite our disagreements on many opinions. In fact she was one of first people who knew at work because she guessed and I admitted it early on. So again she has been making comments on what I've been eating from the start. Up until now I've been pretty light hearted about it, mainly because I've always eaten a lot and I'm not ashamed about it, I've always maintained an average weight. Today though it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She started the day when she came in with "you look like Ruth Buzzi today" which she had actually told me before and I see no resemblance, plus the character is offensively ugly, so I'm just like whatever. (Look up the image, I will assure you I in no way look like this woman, which she agrees with, but something about me 'reminds her of her'.) After I had pizza for lunch, I was coming back from the fridge with a yogurt and she exclaims "wow, this is going to be one fat baby!" I just couldn't take it any more and let her have it. Told her to just shut up, why would she ever be making comments on a woman's size, regardless if she's pregnant or not. And all on top of her calling me Ruth Buzzi today. I told her I was highly offended and just done with her.
Best part is then she gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the afternoon because she was hurt that I yelled at her.
Me: 41 / Fiance: 35 + One DS, one dog & two kitties...
First BFP: 1/17/16 = EDD 9/21/16 (MMC)
Second BFP: 6/24/16 (CP)
Third BFP: 2/7/17 = EDD 10/20/17 🌈 *** BORN 10/23 *** 🌈
Oh okay I got one, I wasn't pregnant but I still felt insulted. So I was using Lyft one day and I had a talkative driver. His fiance was 6 months pregnant he was telling me. Then he started complaining about her not cooking or cleaning enough because she was so tired. I told him yea that happens when you're pregnant. I told him how exhausted I was during my first and he asked me if I worked, I said yes. Then he proceeded to explain how she shouldn't be tired since she didn't have a job. He had already insulted me once so it took a lot of patience for me to not verbally slap him. In fact I was tempted to just ask him to stop so I could get out of the car.
I am toward the end of a very rigorous anesthesia program right now and it can be frowned upon to be pregnant while in school because they think the program takes precedence over anything. I've had several classmates, other CRNAs, etc ask if this was a planned pregnancy. Some are like, wow, that's going to be so tough. I don't know how you do it. So it's very bittersweet to tell people I'm pregnant.
But really, it's no different getting pregnant now vs. when I'm a working CRNA next year. At least now, I can leave the room to go pee. Won't have that luxury when I'm on my own! Only hard part is going to be studying for boards with a newborn.
I’ve been lucky this pregnancy so far but with my son I had a coworker pipe up with “And this is why you don’t hire women” when he heard I was pregnant. Unbelievable!
Another coworker kept kept calling me Big Mama while I was still quite early in my pregnancy and it drove me nuts! I finally asked her to stop and she actually did until my third trimester she started again with the explanation that I was truly a big mama at that point 🤦🏻♀️
I’ve been lucky this pregnancy so far but with my son I had a coworker pipe up with “And this is why you don’t hire women” when he heard I was pregnant. Unbelievable!
@kindbytealikat Trust me, I seriously debated it then decided to ignore it. He was gone by the time I returned from maternity leave and I also changed companies not long after.
Ok, first comment from someone at work I *haven't* told... Her: (grinning and looking back and forth from my face and my belly) you look tired... Is something happening...? Me: how did you know..? Me after (I thought *women* knew not to ask/imply someone is pregnant even if they are starting to show...)
I have been trying to wear looser shirts, but apparently people can still tell. Anyone else have awkward protocol for announcing at work? I don't think a mass email is the way to go here...
@cheznet I've just been casually mentioning it as I find ways. I also recommend telling gossipy people so they do the work for you. I just told 1 of our sales guys (in casual convo) and he ran RIGHT out and told at least 1 of the others. FX he'll also tell the other 2 who don't know yet 😂
@cheznet +1 to telling the gossips. I knew in my office I only had to tell the main core of people and it would filter all the way around like wild fire. I work inside the admin office at FedEx and I only told boss and five co-workers the beginning of last week. Boss outed me to the rest of the office in a staff meeting later that week (oh well) and by now half of my drivers (there are 90 of them) are congratulating me as well. It always makes me laugh at how that happens.
Me: 41 / Fiance: 35 + One DS, one dog & two kitties...
First BFP: 1/17/16 = EDD 9/21/16 (MMC)
Second BFP: 6/24/16 (CP)
Third BFP: 2/7/17 = EDD 10/20/17 🌈 *** BORN 10/23 *** 🌈
I'm a second grade teacher and I had a kid ask, "are you going to have a baby?" She said it quietly and I don't think anyone noticed (no other kids said anything), but it was while the whole group was sitting at the rug!! I just said, "shhhh" and waved my hand at her like, "don't say that out loud" and she interpreted that to mean that I'm not. So she said, "aww.. it would be cool if you were!"
My belly has decided to pop out noticeably just this week and I don't have many baggy clothes to hide it....
I think I might just tell them tomorrow to avoid more awkward interactions like this!
Similar to @cheznet and @cooaladolly I told my coworker who notoriously cannot keep a secret. She has told more people than I have at work and for the rest, I’m just waiting for the growing belly to give it away.
This was said to DH and not me but, I’m upset about it and this feels like the right place to vent.
I’ve said offhand before that if we had another girl this time, we would probably have pressure from FIL to have a third to try for a boy. We’re having a boy, and are thrilled but we would have been thrilled with another daughter too.
Anyway, on phone calls with his parents lately, we said we weren’t telling the sex yet, but DH has been accidentally referring to our fetus as “she” because we’ve gotten so used to that pronoun. We finally announced the sex to our families and FIL’s response was something like “well, this saves us from having a different conversation” (ie about having a third).
I suspected this was how he felt, but I’m so angry that I was right. I’m so angry that he cares so much about whether one of my children has a penis - is my wonderful daughter not good enough for him? I’m so angry that he thinks he has ANY say whatsoever on my reproductive choices, especially because pregnancy is awful for me and I didn’t make the choice lightly to try to have a second child. I’m just so done with him and honestly wish we could cut him out of our lives.
Oh and yesterday he made a comment about how they would be visiting in mid-October. Maybe I’m a terrible human, but IMO visiting a family immediately after a birth is a privilege and not a right. You have to ask. New grandchild or not, I don’t want someone I only tolerate because I have to hanging around when I’m at my most vulnerable. Not gonna happen, dude. Thankfully DH shut that talk down right away.
@greenbean-2 I'm sorry you FIL is such an old fashioned a$$. I truly cannot stand people who think like that. Much less feel the need to Express such aweful thoughts. I'm really happy YH stepped up and vetoed the visit though. You are totally justified in only wanting uplifting and supportive people around you at that time of your life.
Oh and yesterday he made a comment about how they would be visiting in mid-October. Maybe I’m a terrible human, but IMO visiting a family immediately after a birth is a privilege and not a right. You have to ask. New grandchild or not, I don’t want someone I only tolerate because I have to hanging around when I’m at my most vulnerable. Not gonna happen, dude. Thankfully DH shut that talk down right away.
Re: Things People Say to Pregnant Women
I was checking out at Walmart with some groceries. The conversation with the cashier goes like this-
C: when are you due?
M: 3 weeks
C: 3 weeks?! You’re so huge! That’s going to be one big baby!
Me: No.. actually, he’s measuring really small, and we don’t know why
C: you need to eat more meat.
Me: I eat plenty
C: but you’re so big! There’s no way he’s that small
I left the store sobbing at that interaction, to the point I was extremely tempted to talk to her manager.
And FTR, he came out exactly as the predicted, barely hitting 7 lbs and only because they weighed him before he peed himself in the face.
People are really horrible to pregnant women
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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My conversation with my grandmother goes like this—
G: you’re never going to put her in a dress, are you?
M: No, I will for special occasions like family photos until she says otherwise...
G: good! She’ll know who she is!
🤔🤔 yes, because she needs to wear dresses and bows to know she is genetically female 🙄
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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Um, one day at a time, the same as everyone else? Thanks for the vote of confidence 😡
When I was pregnant with my daughter and I was in my 2nd trimester. On my way to work a lady stopped and talked to me. I was so freaking mad the rest of the way there. Yes I’m a bigger girl so I may look bigger, but damn keep your mouth shut.
Stranger: How far along are you?
Me: 6 months
Lady: Oh my your big, I thought you were like 9 months
Me: Nope
Lady:…..Is it twins?
Me: Nope just one very long baby
Lady: You’re too big, you might not make it
Me: Have a good day
-“Are you sure there aren’t two in there?”- my grandma, referring to my size at 30 weeks
-“You shouldn’t be drinking that”- cashier at the cafeteria when ringing up my coffee
Technically not pregnant during the following but still notable:
-“You don’t look like you’ve lost any weight at all”- a “friend” visiting me at the hospital 1 day after giving birth
-“That’s gross. He’s too old for that”- my MIL referring to me nursing my newly turned 1 year old
Ah, humanity.
I had 2 from the same GUY. I was probably around 38 weeks.
His first was "wow, your almost due? Hasn't dropped yet, your going to go over your date" and then followed by "your carrying high, so it's a girl". Well buddy, 1 it's a boy, AS has given me great confidence in that detail. And 2. What do you mean he hasnt dropped?! As a waddled away..... Jokes on him as DS was 2 days early!
C: how far along are you?
Me: 37 weeks! 🥰
C: omg you look too small for 37 weeks. You should ask your doctor to check if there is something wrong with your baby
Me: 😐😕😢 have a good day
It was my first pregnancy and caused so much silly stress. People are assholes.
With this one, I wore a tighter shirt and pants to work one day cause I have to move around the whole floor for my job. One of the older ladies made a comment that my hips were already widening and I'd probably be having a boy 😂 I'm like 10 weeks at this point and I just said uh yeah maybe 😂😂 I have felt like I'm waddling already 😔
- was this pregnancy a surprise/unplanned/unexpected? (NO, but even if it was, it's none of your business anyway! GRRR)
- you're craving meat? Oh it's definitely a boy then. (🙄)
- be sure to eat healthy and exercise daily, it will help you get your figure back after giving birth. (😡😡😡)
- be sure to gain plenty of weight, my SIL didn't eat enough or gain enough weight, and that's why her daughter has autism. (that's not how that works, AND that's incredibly offensive)
- it's a girl? Oh.... I guess you'll just have to have another. (🤬)
And one gem from my FIL, upon learning it's a girl: "start saving for the wedding." Ummmm thanks for your unsolicited advice but I'll think we'll focus on things like saving for college, instead.
(not laughing at you, just the comments)
When I was pregnant with DD, there was this guy at work whose wife was like 2 months behind me. He asked me at one point how much weight I had gained and what was 'normal' and that he was concerned about his wife gaining too much and not being able to lose it all right after. I almost smacked him.
Listen buddy - that is a code word for "bossy" and I f-ing know it. It's not pregnancy hormones causing me to speak up, it's the fact that your statement was wrong and I'm going to call your ass out when you're wrong!
Edited because typos
My co-workers are just as bad as most of yours.
Last time one when I announced a male co-worker said “we all know how that happens!” and I deadpanned said “yup! Lots of sex!” 🖕🏻
But really, it's no different getting pregnant now vs. when I'm a working CRNA next year. At least now, I can leave the room to go pee. Won't have that luxury when I'm on my own! Only hard part is going to be studying for boards with a newborn.
Another coworker kept kept calling me Big Mama while I was still quite early in my pregnancy and it drove me nuts! I finally asked her to stop and she actually did until my third trimester she started again with the explanation that I was truly a big mama at that point 🤦🏻♀️
Some people truly don’t think!!
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Her: (grinning and looking back and forth from my face and my belly) you look tired... Is something happening...?
Me: how did you know..?
Me after (I thought *women* knew not to ask/imply someone is pregnant even if they are starting to show...)
I have been trying to wear looser shirts, but apparently people can still tell. Anyone else have awkward protocol for announcing at work? I don't think a mass email is the way to go here...
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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My belly has decided to pop out noticeably just this week and I don't have many baggy clothes to hide it....
I think I might just tell them tomorrow to avoid more awkward interactions like this!
I’ve said offhand before that if we had another girl this time, we would probably have pressure from FIL to have a third to try for a boy. We’re having a boy, and are thrilled but we would have been thrilled with another daughter too.
Anyway, on phone calls with his parents lately, we said we weren’t telling the sex yet, but DH has been accidentally referring to our fetus as “she” because we’ve gotten so used to that pronoun. We finally announced the sex to our families and FIL’s response was something like “well, this saves us from having a different conversation” (ie about having a third).
I suspected this was how he felt, but I’m so angry that I was right. I’m so angry that he cares so much about whether one of my children has a penis - is my wonderful daughter not good enough for him? I’m so angry that he thinks he has ANY say whatsoever on my reproductive choices, especially because pregnancy is awful for me and I didn’t make the choice lightly to try to have a second child. I’m just so done with him and honestly wish we could cut him out of our lives.
Oh and yesterday he made a comment about how they would be visiting in mid-October. Maybe I’m a terrible human, but IMO visiting a family immediately after a birth is a privilege and not a right. You have to ask. New grandchild or not, I don’t want someone I only tolerate because I have to hanging around when I’m at my most vulnerable. Not gonna happen, dude. Thankfully DH shut that talk down right away.