Monday B*fest 4/1

WinchesterGirl · April 2019

bluebonnet15 · April 2019

Totally an oxymoron @WinchesterGirl!

A guy hit my car in our parking garage a few weeks ago. Figuring out a time to bring my car in to get it fixed has been a huge pain in the ass with everything I’ve had going on. I’m finally doing it this morning and I’m so annoyed sitting in the waiting room.

WinchesterGirl · April 2019

It's April fool's day. I can't wait for all the FB stupidity to start. The fake pregnancy announcements make me so ragey.

aukeev · April 2019

@WinchesterGirl Same. Although I will say, I have seen quite a few posts about IF and loss specifically pointing out that pregnancy announcements are not jokes and asking people to think before posting this year. Hopefully those are circulating enough that people get the message.

BigBadWolf12 · April 2019

I see fewer and fewer un-empathetic April fools posts every year. Not sure if it's because my contacts are all growing up, I've unfriended the dumb ones, or theres more awareness and empathy out there. Hopefully the last one.

lilmamabebe3 · April 2019

I have seen a really powerful meme circulating about pregnancy, infertility, and loss. I haven't seen a fake pregnancy announcement in a few years and it is amazing. Funny story, my grandmother was pretty "woke" for her day and she found out she was pregnant with her youngest on April Fool's day. She was trying to share the news with her closest family and friends, but no one believed her. She had to make the phone calls two days in a row because of it!

My bitch for today is that I had my 20 week appointment and had to get blood drawn for my monthly thyroid check and the woman did not hit my vein going in. She did the pull and wiggle and I swear I would rather get poked twice than have them do that fucking wiggle thing inside of my arm. I tried to suck it up for a minute but I was like, you have to stop. And then she got all embarrassed and I felt bad, but why do I have to feel bad?? That shit hurt! I shouldn't have to set myself on fire so someone else can be warm. gahhh

WinchesterGirl · April 2019

That's awesome you guys are seeing less! I saw 3 last year. This year I shared the meme a few days ahead about loss/infertility and not to make a joke about it. But we'll see.

In other B*fest news, my toddler discovered he can push his helper stool to the breaker box. And turned off all the breakers in the middle of my making breakfast. 😐🤬

mia8263 · April 2019

I’ve been feeling fine but the past few days I keep getting hit with extreme nausea. It’s annoying cuz I have to sit down right away. Last night at the supermarket I thought I was gonna to pass out I got so nauseas on line to pay. I’m 19 weeks tomorrow... come on!!

mrosek91 · April 2019

@lilmamabebe3 That's the worst!! I know all phlebotomists have to start somewhere, but I hate getting the inexperienced ones.

I know that we live in a majority Christian country, but it still drive me crazy when all the marketing is so holiday focused. I need clothes for my boys for Passover, and I just got Carter's email about their flash Easter sale. It bothers me that it's marketing to a holiday that I don't celebrate, but I'm not one to pass up a sale just because of that, so I went to check it out. There were like 2 dressy options for toddler boys. Neither were Passover appropriate, and I like to buy at least 3 outfits each because while Passover is 8 days we go to synagogue the first 2, and last 2 so I need at least outfits, and I like to have a spare, because toddlers.
In the past I've gotten their holiday outfits on Amazon, because it's the only place with options, but I really like supporting stores other than Amazon, because I don't want it to become the only option for everything.

EmilyA724 · April 2019

I went home this weekend and told my family the sex of the baby in person. Before I told them, everyone guessed what they thought and they all commented that because I'm carrying so wide they think it's a girl. Thanks, guys...

Allycat11 · April 2019

I went to put pork tenderloin in the crock pot this morning and found out that it expired. I have been terrible about cooking and onnthe rare ocassion I was motivated, it did not even work. Now I need to figure out a plan b which probably involves the grocery store.

wabash15 · April 2019

@lilmamabebe3 I have no patience for a less than perfect phlebotomist... You get one maybe two chances but none of this digging around shit... nope, nope, nope.
@WinchesterGirl sorry but I had to laugh... I guess its time to child proof the breaker box! (probably not something you ever thought you'd have to do!)
@mrosek91 I do hate that Easter is so commercialized and that other religions are "forgotten". I find finding dress cloths for little boys to be super challenging after about 18 months....

sourlemon · April 2019

My dog is having a tooth removed today and its gonna be $1000. FOR A TOOTH. Granted its a canine tooth and she needs a small portion of bone under that tooth to be filled in, but still. $1000!

And we called around to all the vets in town and they all said the same price. What a rip off. She broke it during a seizure and its really bad, so it has to be done. But I dont like it.

WinchesterGirl · April 2019

@sourlemon For ONE tooth? Holy crap.

Avrilmai · April 2019

@mia8263 I experienced some similar nausea last week, then an OB friend of mind told me that it could actually be reflux and not nausea at this stage. Maybe try some prilosec or zantac to prevent or tums after the fact.

@lilmamabebe3 nope, I think it was totally fair of you to say something! don't dig around in my arm.

@WinchesterGirl like @oklahomak I've seen a lot of the IF/Loss posts referencing pregnancy is not a joke. I've seen a lot more this year, but that may also be bc my group of friends is older now and unfortunately a lot of them have experienced IF/Loss.

sourlemon · April 2019

@WinchesterGirl yup, just ONE tooth. This is the second tooth she's broken during seizures...the last one was only $800 to fix. They said that was an easier one because it was a back tooth they just stitch it up. The bone under the canine needs to be filled in to maintain structure otherwise there's a higher risk of the jaw breaking.

I hate spending money on dogs like this. I have a strict policy on what we are willing to spend on dogs for medical treatment (like no way would I pay to treat cancer to extend life by a few miserable months), but I dont see how to not have this done. She's 9 years old and otherwise healthy (beyond the darn seizures) and needs to be able to eat normal food and not get a deadly blood infection from a broken tooth.

wabash15 · April 2019

@sourlemon OK sorry I have to play devils advocate. I know its expensive but you dog is undergoing anesthesia, will most likely have extensive monitoring, fluids, blood work. I'm guessing they will clean the other teeth while there. They will likely have to take radiographs, a canine tooth is a HUGE tooth to take out and takes a lot of time and care to close the site and not break the jaw. andplusalso if your dentist was extracting a tooth on you needing general anesthesia it would be WAY more than 1000. Also, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE be conscious that comments like these contribute directly to the fact that veterinary medicine has one of the highest suicide rates of any profession out there. it is not a rip off, your vet is not trying to take advantage of you, they are trying to provide the best care for your dog.

olivemomma · April 2019

@heml ugh we had to do the same with our car recently. It was in a parking lot and we didn’t witness it, luckily they left a note but it was still on me to figure everything out with insurance, repair shops, etc. it was hours and hours of my time. You should be compensated for that too when you aren’t at fault

lilmamabebe3 · April 2019

Ugh, dog bills are so frustrating! I can't tag but

allycat--that sucks! I had to throw away chicken last night for the same reason. My kids have been eating nothing but processed food because I have been so sick and I feel the serious, serious guilt over it. Then I had to throw away perfectly good food because it sat out for too long.

emilya--what fuckers. Sorry they said that to you!

suzycupcake · April 2019

@lilmamabebe3 Ouch. There was once a phlebotomist who said, “Oops. I think your vein collapsed” while the needle was in my arm after digging. You’re absolutely right. Saying stop is always a patient right.

@WinchesterGirl Is it bad that I laughed really hard at #brakerboxgate?

@wabash15 While we all have lots of compassion for @sourlemon having to shell out $1K with a new baby on the way, thanks for teaching us about such an important topic. I had never heard of this. Here is some more info in case anyone is interested: https://time.com/5485552/veterinarians-suicide/

suzycupcake · April 2019

My BFs:

My MIL offered to pay for our nursery crib since it’s a tradition of hers. While kind, it honestly worried me it meant that she would force her opinions on me. I initially requested to split the cost which was met with a resounding no. My worry came true. She did not agree with my first choice and convinced my husband to not agree with it either. (P.S. He is far from a Mama’s boy but in his eyes, she’s a sweet old lady who can do no wrong) After choosing another one and sending her a text with the link, telling her this is the crib I’m getting for our baby and that there will be no Amazon protection plan purchased, she called immediately.

First, she wanted to make sure that I would never purchase a used crib since it was available on Amazon. Second, she decided she would mail a check rather than purchase the crib and have it shipped. I worked really hard to let all of that roll off my shoulders.

When my husband got home from work, a couple of days later, he says she called him to let him know she decided to mail a check and that she’s going to A. Put it in his name so I don’t try to send any of the $ back to her and B. Add extra $ for the protection plan because it’s such a beautiful crib and she wants it to last.

I have fantasies 1-4 times a day of mailing the check back to her and telling her that it’s payment to keep her mouth shut from now on. Meanwhile, my Mom doesn’t call me at all and says “Aww he got bigger” every time I send her an u/s photo.

aukeev · April 2019

@sourlemon Unexpected expenses are so frustrating, especially ones that large and when you're expecting! However, I also commend you for not ignoring the problem. We live in a semi-rural area, and here it seems just about everyone ignores needed veterinary care.

@EmilyA724 I know this has been said a million times, but I am still so shocked by the level of inappropriateness around things people say to pregnant women. In what world would it be ok to tell someone, "Oh wow, you're so bloated after lunch. You must have eaten a ton of carbs!" Yet somehow, commenting on a woman's size is a dinner table topic when she's pregnant. Smh.

@suzycupcake Should we have a thread of just obnoxious things our MILs/mothers say or do during pregnancy? Sorry she's making such a stink about the situation. Hopefully she keeps her crabby, opinionated remarks to herself about the rest of your pregnancy/parenting style.

My MBF:
My MIL (who lives about three miles from us) has started setting up a full-blown nursery at her house. Keep in mind, she is not watching him during the day. He'll be at daycare. I posted a picture of the nursery progress (at our house... you know, where the baby will live) on Facebook and all of her friends who go to our church were asking if it was at my house our hers, "since he'll be spending so much time at her house."

agpandme · April 2019

@sourlemon 1K is a lot. I've worked at several veterinary hospitals and they do vary. One I worked for was 1500-2000$ baseline not including extractions. The last one I worked for before moving was 300$ minimum and they rarely went above 500$. Extractions were like 5-10$ per tooth. It also mattered which vet you saw. One would add extra medications and fluids, and do a vast amount of xrays leaving your pet under anesthesia for longer costing more $. Recently my step dad was quote 1800$ for his cat to have a dental and one tooth removed. He came home from the vet in tears because he couldn't afford it. I immediately called my previous employment vet 3 hours away and made him an appointment for a dental. They charged him 300$ out the door and the cat was relieved of the pain much faster because he didn't have to wait and save up the money.

Allycat11 · April 2019

@oklahomak that is super weird considering she will not actually be watching him.

Here is my MIL rant for the day: she agreed to dog sit for someone locally and her sister across the state this week. Because the idiot can't keep a calendar and she is lazy, she sent FIL (who is the only one who helps with my kids) to her sister's house for spring break. 10 days of no school, no activities and no Papa is going to be rough...we are on day 4.
Also, every Thursday FIL watches DS so I can volunteer at DDs school for 1.5 hours. He has started offering to keep him all day on thursdays so I can work, nap, meet a friend for lunch or whatever I want to do. MIL bitches about it because idk she doesnt get to watch her shows or something. Last Friday I needed help with both kids for like 1.5 hours to get my nails done (could not get a thursday appt). FIL ended up coming here because MIL was complaining about having both kids at their house. She is pretty much a horrible person .

aukeev · April 2019

@Allycat11 Exactly. And it's not like we'll even be there to visit overnight a few times a year, since we live practically around the corner.

Sorry your kids are stuck with her alone for the week

is she at least good to them, aside from her complaints? Most MILs seem to complain about not getting enough time with their grandchildren. It seems odd that she would pitch a fit over a few hours once a week.

suzycupcake · April 2019

Ugh @oklahomak is she telling them he won’t be at daycare?

We do need a MIL thread. It’s so strange because she and I have always gotten along. Well, perhaps this all started with our wedding. She offered a gift of $10K because that’s something they do for all of the kids. I’m starting to see a pattern here. Anyway, we thanked her and decided to make our wedding budget for half of that saving the rest for something else.

When she found out about that, we only received $5K. Neither of us knew there was an expectation to spend all of her “gift” on our wedding. She claimed it was because they helped so much with wedding set up. My husband is convinced it’s because she’s old and probably forgot she said “$10K” 🙄

I’m a very frugal person and sometimes it seems like she views me as cheap.

agpandme · April 2019

My MBF is that my mom yesterday suggested/asked if we were inviting the sister I don't speak to, to our baby shower. Honestly in my heart I would love for her to be there but I don't talk to her for many good reasons and haven't spoken to her since July 2018. My husband said he actually did think about talking about inviting them because he is still friends with her husband. I'm much more mentally sound without her extremely narcissist abuse in my life. I don't want the day to be ruined by her. Her ex fiance and his new wife will be there and I know my sister is STILLLLLLLLLLLL upset about them even though its been like 4 years and shes the one that cheated with his best friend, ruining the relationship. Just something I don't want to be a part of and something I don't want to deal with on a day that is suppose to be about us and the people that love and support us. My sister might love me in her own mentally ill way but she does not support us and actually joked about my pregnancy with her "friends". Why would I want that toxicity at my home on a happy day? I wish my mom didn't bring it up. #umbyeeeeee

aukeev · April 2019

@suzycupcake I have no idea what she's telling them. She never offered to keep him during the day, and when we were discussing childcare while MH and I were TTC, she brought up that she just wants to be "fun grandma" since she let her MIL watch her kids during the day and it spoiled their relationship.

I'll volunteer to start that each month (I figured weekly might be too much? Unless we all have plenty to say about our MILs!), if you'd like!

It's things like your wedding incident that make me realize how much more aware women are of other women's spiteful actions than our husbands are. Or maybe it's just because they're their mothers that they are blind to it. You would think she would view that as you being responsible and managing money well, preferring to save it for something down the line instead of spend it all on one day.

@agpandme I'm sorry your mom brought that up, and also just for those circumstances. Familial relationships are complicated enough as it is. Did you ask your mom not to mention it to your sister?

agpandme · April 2019

@oklahomak My mom likely already has mentioned it to her so it would be a futile request.

suzycupcake · April 2019

@oklahomak Oh that is strange. I wonder if she didn’t realize her sharing that with you had an impact. Then again, why else would someone share something like that. People are weird.

You can do whatever you want with a thread. It can be one perpetual thread or whatever you think.

Ikr? He comes from a well off family and sometimes that seems to cause conflict but we manage it well. So completely opposite of my family. I did say to my husband the other night, “I love that you love your Mother so much and I hope that our son loves me that much.” Because honestly, I really do think if she ever crossed a serious line, he’d be the first to tell her to sit down. But it’s my plan to teach our son to disagree with me when I’m wrong.

@agpandme It’s so hard to deal with PDs. Even though a no contact decision has been made, it’s like they can still affect you in very big ways. So sorry. I really hope that you get the baby shower of your dreams.

bluebonnet15 · April 2019

@agpandme MH and I are having some discussions about baby shower invites because several of his family members don’t get along and his mom stopped speaking to us a few years ago over a wedding invite she didn’t agree with (she’s since turned up again via text after finding out we’re having a baby. Eye roll.). It’s unnecessarily stressful. I FEEL for you and hope everyone can respect your feelings and wishes

@oklahomak I think monthly works. Thanks for volunteering!

aecm · April 2019

@WinchesterGirl I literally snorted when I read your “breakergate” post. My kid loves light switches - I never even thought about a breaker box, but your post made me super glad ours is in the garage!!

suzycupcake · April 2019

@aecm I was gonna say great minds think alike but apparently you can spell better than I can 😳

sourlemon · April 2019

@wabash15 i have a few vets in my family (out of state) and even they have claimed its insanely high. One said her clinic charges about $300 (i sent the full estimate with all the services listed) and another said about $500. One family member is a large animal vet and only charges $100 to pull horse teeth! And no on the tooth cleaning, that would be an extra $600 so we declined. we only have 3 vets in this area and one of our friends used to work at one. She said they all price-balanced certain services a few years ago and extractions were raised the most at that time.

@suzycupcake ugh that sounds sucky with MIL. I dont like when people try to control situations using money. My MIL did that with the first kid (on the darn $150 glider) and eventually I told her I bought the one DH and I had decided on and it was $150 and if she wanted to pay for it she could, but if not we understood. She made DH feel really guilty because it wasnt the one she wanted to pay for. Meanwhile, my mom has always just given me a check to use "for the furniture" and has never said a word about it other than "the nursery looks great". Parents shouldnt be creating more stress during this time.

@agpandme I havent spoken to a brother of mine in 2 years (actually the anniversary of our last conversation is this week). It still hurts.

suzycupcake · April 2019

Omg, you are a genius @sourlemon! I'll be trying that next time.

WinchesterGirl · April 2019

ROFL @ Breakergate @suzycupcake & @aecm! It's funnier now that he's safely napping.

mia8263 · April 2019

@suzycupcake my MIL wanted to purchase our crib also. I showed the one I wanted. It was perfect. She said no and purchased this giant monstrosity that he slept in maybe 6times? These people! Lol

mia8263 · April 2019

@agpandme I haven’t spoke to my brother in about 4years. My mom was insulted I asked my best friend who teaches Sunday school to be my son’s godmother. She’s still trying to get me to change it! Ummm no.

bluebonnet15 · April 2019

Of course Justin Bieber is the insensitive little shit that posts an April Fools pregnancy joke. He’s the absolute worst.

peachy0709 · April 2019

@mia8236 - Families are insane about that, even if they aren't religious. My parents FORCED me to make my sister both my MOH and DD1's godmother. I honestly thought being active in our church would be an impediment to my sister, but in her defense she actually did all she needed to do to get it done. That said, my ILs didn't even come to DD2's baptism because we didn't have any of DH's siblings be godparents even though they aren't the same religion as us. Sorry for hijacking your complaint, just commiserating that parents are crazy people about godparents.

goldfishcraker · April 2019

Man! How did I miss this all yesterday?!
I'm sorry for all our frustrations! And glad we have this great place to vent!

I would like to bitch about my new night time routine...
It goes like this (times are examples lol)
10pm: pee, brush teeth, pjs
1010pm: let dog out
1015 : lie down in bed
10:23: get up to pee.
1026: go back to bed
11:10: get up to pee.
1200: fall asleep
0135: wake up from DH sickness snoring.
0136: realize I have to pee.
0153: give in and go pee.
0230 can't fall back asleep becuase I'm STARVING, and basically haven't eaten before in my entire life. Refuse to get up to eat.
0445: finally start to drift off, realize I have to pee.
0500: give in and pee
0535: fall asleep
0610: Dog wakes me up to go out to pee 😂

That is the jist of most nights. Except night last night where I slept from 0130- 4, peed, and then didn't fall back asleep until 830 this morning 😂
☕😴

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