I don't remember how M14 did it because I actually joined late - I think everyone had a "labor buddy" and people would report when someone had the baby and that created a lot of community. I eventually emailed my labor buddy about a month after delivery to join. A17 had two "admins" (we call them the mayors) who basically filtered request and invited those who were active to the group. With A17, I remember joining in month 9 of pregnancy.
Im all for a controlled move to FB when it happens. Private group, invite only type of thing based on activity. And much later! Whether we wait until the first baby is born or have some sort of a timeline (i.e., first person hits 36 weeks) doesnt matter to me.
Definitely people (mainly lurkers) will get annoyed if they dont "make the cut", but it really is about privacy. At some point, in some way, the line will have to be drawn as what counts as a regular poster. Does someone who posted a ton until 35 weeks, then slowed down, make the cut? What about someone who started posting at 35 weeks and posts nearly constantly? Its a little bit of a tricky thing.
Its already a little awkward when someone intros right now! But you bet there will be some that dont intro or contribute until much later on -- usually to post a birth announcement or a one-off post to a group of strangers.
@WinchesterGirl in my last BMB, people were also mad that they weren't in the FB group. In some cases, it was because while they were regular posters, they also had caused drama in the past.
I don't love the idea of a public vote since I think that's inherently a popularity contest. What we did in my last BMB was basically appoint three mods for a private group on TB, as a transitional step to FB. The mods decided who the initial private group members were. Then the mods would start a thread for any new person who wanted to be in, and all private group members would deliberate and then vote. If we let the person in, we'd delete the thread about that person before we added them to the PG. Eventually the PG transitioned to FB.
I’ve never Made a FB transition on other boards and am up in the air on this one. I’ve started to recently really trim back my FB posts and even got rid of a bunch of my ‘friends’ who just aren’t part of my life anymore. Happy to partake in discussions though and I personally feel that anyone who intros and starts being active once the FB talk starts is a little sketch. A FB group isn’t why I came to the bump and I don’t think one should participate here for the solo purpose of getting an invite there.
@Twinkiedoll I think that's a nicely more private way to do it! And we also had one who didn't make the cut because of drama.
@sourlemon It does get tricky. I am personally more comfortable with people who continue contributing as time goes on, more than a whole bunch right at the end.
@peachy0709 We had LBs too! But interestingly enough we in no way linked them to FB participation. Some people are comfortable sharing info with one person but didn't have FB, or weren't comfortable joining the larger group.
Any suggestions on where to purchase a maternity dress for a wedding? I'm extremely limited on stores due to location but I can shop online or make a trip down south to go shopping.
@agpandme I'm a big fan of pinkblushmaternity.com they have a really nice selection of bridesmaids dresses. I got a dress from them last time I was pregnant and got a lot of compliments on it. ASOS also a good selection as does dessy.com but I do not have personal experience with either. Also, dessy is a little pricier.
Re: FB I'm undecided about this time around, but my first bmb moved to fb at some point in mid-late third tri. It was by invite only - a pm was sent from one of the regular posters within the bump inviting people to the FB group. Some friended each other and joined, some just joined but no friending at all or til later, some didn't join at all.
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@agpandme Have you tried Rent the Runway? Saves you a trip to the store and you don't to have invest in a fancy dress that would only fit you for, at most, a few months of your life.
@WinchesterGirl I completely agree. In ours, I think 2 "regulars" decided to set it up, and the interested people contacted them with their FB contact info. They decided if each person was "regular" enough to participate. By that point in our BMB it was pretty clear who was a regular and who wasn't. Were you participating not just posting a photo on hdbd or random check ins? Did people actually know your screen name? I do know there were two people who had joined later (maybe late second tri) in question, but they both ended up in our fb group because they participated regularly and are both still a part of the group. They were discussed in the FB group once most people had accepted the invite to the group and we all decided to have them join and then deleted the post.
@WinchesterGirl I really like @Twinkiedoll 's suggestion of moving to a private TB group as a first step. Seems like a good way to compromise on the info sharing and privacy concerns. It will also allow some of the regulars who don't have/use FB to be included.
TTC#1 10/2016 TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each. BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021 planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks, some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
We had labor buddies in my last BMB. Someone suggested that people in the PG should get first dibs on labor buddies, and that caused So. Much. Drama. People ended up just being paired up sort of quasi-randomly by the same mods we selected to set up the PG. People with early due dates were paired up with those with late month due dates to minimize chance of two labor buddies are laboring at the same time.
@chillycanadian The idea is that once you are in labor & delivery, you probably have other things on your mind than to update the BMB. So you exchange contact info with your LB, and once you go into labor, you just text/email your LB and the LB tells the group. And sometimes the LB also reports back on how delivery went too, in case the mama is too overwhelmed with IRL friends and family to post on BMB.
I find this conversation very interesting... I was an occasional poster on the March 16 board and when it came time for Facebook I didn’t “apply” for the invite. There was a lot of drama about who should and shouldn’t be let in and I decided I wouldn’t put myself up for debate... I try to post more regularly this time around but the whole idea of a select group deciding who is “regular” enough is a little anxiety inducing! I mean I’ll be fine with whatever is decided but I hope we can come up with a fair and low drama way (at least as much as possible) of making the move.
@jmesue1030 that was my mindset the last time around. I participated what I considered regularly and if a bunch of people I didn’t know deemed me not good enough, well then so be it. Our whole move to fb was basically completely drama free, but it seemed like there was a much smaller group of us than there currently are for Aug 19. I also like @Twinkiedolls PG idea though. I think that would make things even easier when the time comes. As far as labor buddies, we didn’t have them. We were basically over to fb when the babies started coming and everyone posted there.
@mkrel that’s good to hear that it wasn’t dramatic for your last group! I also like the idea of moving to a private group first— although as an app only user, I do look forward to the ease of Facebook vs TB.
We have mostly all long distance family. My MIL said today that she wants to come when the baby is born to help out and see him. I explained that my only rule is that nobody comes the first week so we can adjust as a family. After that, people are welcomed to come visit any time, but that we’d have to coordinate dates since my Mom and my Sister wants to come as well. This way, we don’t have everyone coming at the same time.
She seemed fine with my decision. Has anyone else drawn this boundary? It’s reasonable, right?
People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.
How I feel all of the time. My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI Back on Levothyroxine FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 1st Beta on 7dpt 93 2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule. Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017 New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
I also like the idea of a private group. However, I feel only a few dozen or so of us post regularly here so I’m okay with this too. SOmetimes the one offs (usually the replies to those) make me laugh
@suzycupcake I think it’s totally reasonable to want time to bond as a family. Will the out of town family be staying with you? If so, you may want more than a week to get adjusted. You will be in the hospital for probably two days then trying to settle into a home routine... the first week will fly by. But if your mom/sister/MIL are the type to help out then it may be good to have them around. And by help out I don’t mean hold the baby while you do laundry, they should be doing the laundry while you hold baby!
@jmesue1030 That's part of the reason I wanted to bring it up early. If we discuss openly before it ever becomes reality, I hope that people will keep it in mind and think it over as the time comes up. I have no desire to hurt anyone's feelings, I just want all of our personal info to be more secure. Also, I do not share photos of my kid/s in public internet forums without some control of who has access to that.
@Twinkiedoll A PG is a good first step as an option, too!
@suzycupcake That sounds extremely reasonable to me! Our family are all local & my mom will be watching DS for the birth otherwise I might have the same rule.
@suzycupcake that is perfectly reasonable. My mother made my first weeks with my oldest misery. With my second we were living with my in laws while we built our house and it sucked. No one except our nanny is coming over for a few weeks. That space and adjustment time is so crucial in my opinion.
i do know people that stuck their nose up at wanting alone time and said, “You’ll want all the help you can get.” That is not true for everyone and certainly not the case for me. I tend to be very overprotective the first few weeks and don’t like anyone near me trying to tell me what to do. I can do it myself.
i love the idea of a PG idk why but as soon as stuff moves to FB my participation seems to drop. I think it’s like too much stimulation haha I get distracted by news feeds etc. In my last BMB the Facebook group conversations moved wayyyy faster than TB And I could never keep up and would spend all my time reading replies and eventually there was a bunch of drama re: participation and I left. Another group I’m in has no participation requirement and I’m in and out as my schedule allows. Work is up and down so I can’t always get in as much as I want. But no one cares and they are some of the coolest women I know. I love keeping in touch with them.
I just worry about participation requirements after we move to FB. I like TB.
Me 32 H 33 TTC#1 January 2016 BFP 5/16/2016 DD Born 1/27/17
@suzycupcake I think that seems reasonable. Is anyone close enough and flexible enough to be “on standby” if you get overwhelmed the first week? My personal experience was that the first week was the hardest, b/c DD was cluster feeding for a couple of nights, plus I was recovering from a c-section. It was nice to be able to hand DD off to my mom in the morning and get a couple hours of sleep. But I also understand your sentiment of wanting to settle in together as a family. It’s also nice for you to spread out the visitors so you have help for longer!
When my MIL mentioned wanting to come right away, she said, "Well, of course your Mother has every right to be there before anyone else." Then she said it would probably be too much to have us staying there at the same time. Of course that would never happen. This is what prompted me to draw that boundary immediately.
Also, it was very kind of her to offer to pay for the crib since it’s something she has done with all of the grandkids. It’s just her thing. Today we sent her a link to the crib we want within the budget. She called right away to make sure I wasn’t going to be ordering a used version of it on Amazon. This was after she expressed her dissatisfaction the previous week about my last crib choice. Come on! It’s my decision as to what bed my kid sleeps in.
Lol @thirdtimesacharm2019 I love how you put that because I don't want to share my baby at all! At least not for a little while.
@lilmamabebe3 The nanny sounds like a good plan. We probably will want help, but not sure. I'm a protector myself. As long as they don't tell me what to do after I've already made a decision, it's cool if they want to share advice. Otherwise, it's disrespectful imo.
@aecm My husband will be on paternity leave for six weeks. Other than that, there’s no family that lives in our state. The closest is my birth Dad and stepMom. That’s about a 3.5 hour drive with stops. They’d probably come sooner if we asked.
People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.
How I feel all of the time. My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI Back on Levothyroxine FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 1st Beta on 7dpt 93 2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule. Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017 New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
@suzycupcake, I think the boundary is good. My mom was like I am coming August 23 and I tried to push it out but she was insistent. I gave in and now it stresses me out to think that we won’t get us time as a family. My mom is amazing and will cook and clean for us so I’m not worried about her getting in the way. But it would have been Nice to have family time. I am now hoping he comes before August 23 so I can get some us time but I doubt it’ll happen. Definitely stick to your boundaries!
To explain how my March has been going, I have a story.
A few weeks ago I complained that DST sucks. Well. It turns out that DST does not happen here until March 31. So for 2 weeks (I found out Wednesday), I’ve been moaning about the time change and how much it sucked. I’ve been saying at least it’s broghter in the evenings now. And our time didn’t change. I thought it did because my calendar still has Canadian dates and I assumed our phones automatically updated. But no. Nothing happened. I couldn’t stop laughing when I realized this because it is so exemplary of my March struggles. I even wondered why my parents and I were now 5 hours apart but just said time differences are weird. 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
@WinchesterGirl I’m glad you brought it up! It also makes those of us who aren’t quite as active more mindful of the importance of staying involved if we want to deepen our relationship with this group of moms!
@moon1417 yikes, I would not do well with a participation requirement. I hope our group doesn’t do that...
@akuzreve That is so funny!! I would blame that on pregnancy if I were you hahaha. I have a love/hate relationship with time change my self. I like driving home in the daylight.
Me 32 H 33 TTC#1 January 2016 BFP 5/16/2016 DD Born 1/27/17
@moon1417, totally blaming pregnancy brain. It is so real. Now I’m wondering will the real one be ok because I’ve mentally adjusted or will it suck even more? It really did start getting brighter here right after March 10 so it fit my thoughts.
@suzycupcake our nanny will be there to continue normal routines for the older two and to help with household chores. We made an amended schedule for her during maternity leave so that 1. We have what we need to keep the older two can be as undisrupted as possible. (We found that to be crucial when we had our second. Some people judged us for still sending our oldest to full time daycare but his entire world was flipped upside down and that was the the one thing he could rely on at the point in his life. It helped so much.) and 2. That we have the help we need when we need it. My husband has a weird schedule and both boys will be in school (oldest second grade and youngest part time preschool) so she'll be able to do alternate hours to help me not be alone with three children and still make her full paycheck.
Plus, as a full time employee, would you want your boss to be like, "So, hey. No pay for three months. See you in November!" I am fortunate that my leave will all be covered at 100%. I have 6 weeks at 100% for maternity leave. Two weeks for bonding time that the company pays for, and then I hoarded enough vacation time to cover the last month. I have never had a fully paid maternity leave and I am so excited to not have to even think about it this time.
Yesterday was the Jewish holiday of Purim, which is a day when we dress up in costume, and send gifts of food to family and friends. My synagogue gets very into it, and every family is expected to have a theme. So this year we did Cat in the Hat. DH was the cat, the boys were thing 1, and thing 2, and I wore this headband I found on amazon with the fish from Cat in the Hat, and pinned a "thing 3" sign to my belly. Most people already know, and loved it, but a few haven't found out yet, and asked why I was thing 3. When they asked I replied "I'm not, I'm the fish, the baby is thing three." I got some really great reactions.
@AKuzReve That is hilarious!!!! Pregnancy brain at it's finest.
@suzycupcake I think that is perfectly reasonable and it is awesome that your in laws are so understanding. I couldn't bring myself to ask my in laws to wait, part of it was because my SIL was due two weeks after me and they had to book tickets here. She ended up having her baby 5 days before me,so it would have been ok in hindsight, but I had major guilt over "withholding" the baby from our parents. I plan to make some more boundaries this time especially with length of time visiting in the hospital. You have to do what you and your husband feel comfortable with. Nothing went wrong with them all being here right after she was born, but it did add an extra level of stress. My biggest advice to anyone is just to make sure that you and your husband are on the same page, especially if you will be breastfeeding. The first two weeks are critical and no one can be shy about either sending people away during feeding time or leaving and going somewhere private for an hour at a time what seems like constantly as you an baby figure things out.
Random: I asked our friends to be godparents today by phone, but they live in Michigan. We're going to visit them in June. Should I wait until then to give them a "gift" (just a small token of appreciation to formally "ask" them), or before? And any thoughts?? I wasn't going to do anything elaborate.
@peachy0709 I don't have any experience with this, but I'm a gift person and think it might be nice? Maybe a nice frame with an ultrasound photo, or something? Not much help here, but I do like the sentiment and think it's nice that you thought of it.
I feel like a huge baby because I asked my mom to come stay with us for a few days after the baby comes. I didn't even consider the need to adjust as a family before inviting guests - I did tell my husband that I didn't want any other visitors/guests (incl. my FIL who I'm sure will be eager to visit) for the first 4 weeks.
@sw1122 There's no reason to feel like a baby, what you want and what works for your family is a very personal decision. It also depends a lot on the personality of the person you asked for help. With both my boys my mom came down the day they were born (she's a 4 hour drive away) and stayed for just under 2 weeks. She was amazing, did the laundry, made me meals, made sure I got sleep, held the baby only when I asked her to, and with DS#2, kept DS#1 entertained. But I know that I am lucky, a lot of people having their mother around would be more of a burden than a help. I actually wanted her to stay longer, but DH felt we needed to be able to prove to ourselves that we could do it on our own. And once she left, he stepped up and started doing the things she had been doing. I definitely plan on having her come help with this one too. All this to say it's a very personal decisions and having your mom come help is a valid option. I actually know a lot of people who have done it.
Re: Weekly Randoms 3/18
Definitely people (mainly lurkers) will get annoyed if they dont "make the cut", but it really is about privacy. At some point, in some way, the line will have to be drawn as what counts as a regular poster. Does someone who posted a ton until 35 weeks, then slowed down, make the cut? What about someone who started posting at 35 weeks and posts nearly constantly? Its a little bit of a tricky thing.
Its already a little awkward when someone intros right now! But you bet there will be some that dont intro or contribute until much later on -- usually to post a birth announcement or a one-off post to a group of strangers.
@sourlemon It does get tricky. I am personally more comfortable with people who continue contributing as time goes on, more than a whole bunch right at the end.
@peachy0709 We had LBs too! But interestingly enough we in no way linked them to FB participation. Some people are comfortable sharing info with one person but didn't have FB, or weren't comfortable joining the larger group.
ASOS also a good selection as does dessy.com but I do not have personal experience with either. Also, dessy is a little pricier.
I'm undecided about this time around, but my first bmb moved to fb at some point in mid-late third tri. It was by invite only - a pm was sent from one of the regular posters within the bump inviting people to the FB group. Some friended each other and joined, some just joined but no friending at all or til later, some didn't join at all.
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
As far as labor buddies, we didn’t have them. We were basically over to fb when the babies started coming and everyone posted there.
She seemed fine with my decision. Has anyone else drawn this boundary? It’s reasonable, right?
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
@Twinkiedoll A PG is a good first step as an option, too!
@suzycupcake That sounds extremely reasonable to me! Our family are all local & my mom will be watching DS for the birth otherwise I might have the same rule.
i do know people that stuck their nose up at wanting alone time and said, “You’ll want all the help you can get.” That is not true for everyone and certainly not the case for me. I tend to be very overprotective the first few weeks and don’t like anyone near me trying to tell me what to do. I can do it myself.
i love the idea of a PG idk why but as soon as stuff moves to FB my participation seems to drop. I think it’s like too much stimulation haha I get distracted by news feeds etc. In my last BMB the Facebook group conversations moved wayyyy faster than TB And I could never keep up and would spend all my time reading replies and eventually there was a bunch of drama re: participation and I left. Another group I’m in has no participation requirement and I’m in and out as my schedule allows. Work is up and down so I can’t always get in as much as I want. But no one cares and they are some of the coolest women I know. I love keeping in touch with them.
I just worry about participation requirements after we move to FB. I like TB.
Me 32
H 33
TTC#1 January 2016 BFP 5/16/2016 DD Born 1/27/17
TFAS: BFP 11/26/2018 Estimated due date: 8/2/2019
Also, it was very kind of her to offer to pay for the crib since it’s something she has done with all of the grandkids. It’s just her thing. Today we sent her a link to the crib we want within the budget. She called right away to make sure I wasn’t going to be ordering a used version of it on Amazon. This was after she expressed her dissatisfaction the previous week about my last crib choice. Come on! It’s my decision as to what bed my kid sleeps in.
Lol @thirdtimesacharm2019 I love how you put that because I don't want to share my baby at all! At least not for a little while.
@lilmamabebe3 The nanny sounds like a good plan. We probably will want help, but not sure. I'm a protector myself. As long as they don't tell me what to do after I've already made a decision, it's cool if they want to share advice. Otherwise, it's disrespectful imo.
@aecm My husband will be on paternity leave for six weeks. Other than that, there’s no family that lives in our state. The closest is my birth Dad and stepMom. That’s about a 3.5 hour drive with stops. They’d probably come sooner if we asked.
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
A few weeks ago I complained that DST sucks. Well. It turns out that DST does not happen here until March 31. So for 2 weeks (I found out Wednesday), I’ve been moaning about the time change and how much it sucked. I’ve been saying at least it’s broghter in the evenings now. And our time didn’t change. I thought it did because my calendar still has Canadian dates and I assumed our phones automatically updated. But no. Nothing happened. I couldn’t stop laughing when I realized this because it is so exemplary of my March struggles. I even wondered why my parents and I were now 5 hours apart but just said time differences are weird. 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@moon1417 yikes, I would not do well with a participation requirement. I hope our group doesn’t do that...
Me 32
H 33
TTC#1 January 2016 BFP 5/16/2016 DD Born 1/27/17
TFAS: BFP 11/26/2018 Estimated due date: 8/2/2019
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
Plus, as a full time employee, would you want your boss to be like, "So, hey. No pay for three months. See you in November!" I am fortunate that my leave will all be covered at 100%. I have 6 weeks at 100% for maternity leave. Two weeks for bonding time that the company pays for, and then I hoarded enough vacation time to cover the last month. I have never had a fully paid maternity leave and I am so excited to not have to even think about it this time.
@suzycupcake I think that is perfectly reasonable and it is awesome that your in laws are so understanding. I couldn't bring myself to ask my in laws to wait, part of it was because my SIL was due two weeks after me and they had to book tickets here. She ended up having her baby 5 days before me,so it would have been ok in hindsight, but I had major guilt over "withholding" the baby from our parents. I plan to make some more boundaries this time especially with length of time visiting in the hospital. You have to do what you and your husband feel comfortable with. Nothing went wrong with them all being here right after she was born, but it did add an extra level of stress.
My biggest advice to anyone is just to make sure that you and your husband are on the same page, especially if you will be breastfeeding. The first two weeks are critical and no one can be shy about either sending people away during feeding time or leaving and going somewhere private for an hour at a time what seems like constantly as you an baby figure things out.
On a completely random note, Madewell makes maternity jeans and they are a real delight.
I actually wanted her to stay longer, but DH felt we needed to be able to prove to ourselves that we could do it on our own. And once she left, he stepped up and started doing the things she had been doing.
I definitely plan on having her come help with this one too.
All this to say it's a very personal decisions and having your mom come help is a valid option. I actually know a lot of people who have done it.