Twat Waffle Tuesday

kgg2241 · March 2019

Who or what is being a twat waffle in your life?

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supermom34482 · March 2019

My kids....apparently they've decided sleep is overrated. Its so hard because they're both usually super great with bedtime

kgg2241 · March 2019

Daylight savings is a huge twat. I am usually an early riser, but between daylight savings and pregnancy fatigue, I cannot get up in the mornings. It is the worst.

@supermom34482 That must be hard. I'm sure you are already tired so that doesn't help. Common kids, just go with the flow!

themadcamel · March 2019

My intestines are the twat waffle this week!

@kgg2241 I'm an early riser as well, and it stinks that it's now dark in the morning again. BUT, I personally think it's a small price to pay for an extra hour of daylight in the evening. C'monnnnn summer!!!! Get here!!

@supermom34482 hope your kiddos get back into a good sleeping routine soon, for your sake!

cammie0526 · March 2019

I feel kind of bad saying so, but my MIL. She's giving my husband hell because he hasn't Facebook messaged (yes, Facebook message) his uncle to tell him we're pregnant. She knows full well that my H doesn't have an active FB account and for some asinine reason is refusing to give him the uncle's phone number so we can call. Last night it turned into a whole thing: "I know you have your own life now but I wish you'd still consider my feelings once in a while, blah blah blah"...

SO OVER IT

nomangos23 · March 2019

TW today is my boss who just told me to adjust my marketing strategy based on something absolutely absurd (and I reactively shook my head as I was responding with why I would do things differently) then pulled me aside after the meeting to say my behavior was bizarre and I shouldn't disrespect him in front of others. Uhhhhhhhhhh....

mamaber2204 · March 2019

@nomangos23 Ugh that sucks. I had a similar situation last week. It's so frustrating when you know you're right but your superior insists you change your work product. Also, do you not like mangoes or are you allergic?

ternsetc · March 2019

@kgg2241 I forgot all about daylight savings to the extent that I put back our alarm clock an hour on Sunday morning (it changes by itself every time change) assuming it was wrong and that DS had been playing with the timezone setting again, lol! I like that it's lighter in the evening, but getting up is painful.

nightdreamr13 · March 2019

Twat waffle...made me laugh so hard. It'll be my new saying...what a twat waffle.

@kgg2241 girllll I feel you on daylight savings. I was sleeping half the day away before it happened. It should be illegal to steal an hour of sleep from a pregnant lady!

@cammie0526 I feel you with the family issues. My mom and I are super close and it kills me when we fight but my word....see rant below about my twat waffle!

DH and I decided we wanted to do a gender reveal, but a small one. Just a cookout with our closest family and friends. Super casual and laid back. She feels we should invite her brother who we only invite to extended family get togethers (Christmas and baby/bridalshowers). I told her this is more like a bday dinner and it wasn't for extended family but she feels if we invite friends we need to invite them. We are inviting 3 friends who are in our lives weekly...much more than the 2x a yr I see my uncle. Not to mention that my family has been going through a hard time recently with my dads recent health scare and how many times have they called to check on us? 0. She feels she can't invite his wife to the shower if they're not invited to this. I don't think she fully understands how these things work ...that it's small, not made into a huge gathering and not required to invite the entire group and there will be plenty of people not at this party who would be invited to the shower. Plus my uncle's kids don't invite us or my parents to anything so i dont understand why this is so important to my mom. But now shes upset with me and told me im putting her in an awkward position. Idk why my uncle even needs to know we are having a party...

mamaber2204 · March 2019

@nightdreamr13 That's stressful. I swear some moms just have to find ways to be a pain in the rear during important times in their children's lives. It's like, hmm, everything is going well for my child. Too well. How can I make this about me and stress said child out?? My mom is ALL about making EVERYTHING about herself. No lie, we read a book about the Holocaust for our family book club this past month and during the discussion she made THAT about her. We don't have any Jewish ancestry or ties or ties to any of the other races or people who were victimized. In fact, we're of German descent (we're Americans - it's a few generations back). Gah.

nomangos23 · March 2019

@mamaber2204 I'm allergic! I actually loooove mangos but they're part of the poison ivy family and have a similar oil on their skin that the poison ivy plant does. So if I eat mangos I essentially get poison ivy around and inside my mouth. I still try to eat them (sometimes) and if anyone in my family is around they yell "NO MANGOS!" at me. lol it seemed fitting for a screen name.

mamaber2204 · March 2019

@nomangos23 I'm the same way! I have a CRAZY reaction to poison ivy (7 weeks of bedrest once), and since then I've had the same problem with mangos. It's so sad because they're SO good. DS has been eating the ones in the cups (because I can't peel and handle them, lol) and I'm so jealous.

zuuls_mom · March 2019

Today's TW is a dude I work with. We just did qtrly reviews and I ask my team's sales reps for feedback on them (each person on my team supports 3-5 sales reps). And this one asshat submitted feedback that was largely positive and then randomly yesterday I get an email from his boss that he's asking for a new person to support him. UM, WHAT? Turns out he just wasn't being that honest with his feedback and has been feeling this way for months. WELL THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING? So now you're just going to demand a change without ANY warning and blame it all on my person when you gave them no chance to correct any of the issues you had with them? This is why we ask for feedback! It's just so ridiculous. That was definitely more of a bitchfest, but I just needed to vent. I feel better now lol.

rms924 · March 2019

I am feeling you @cammie0526

All of my IL are constant TW in my life. Can I vote them off the island, dear god.

The latest is the tantrum they are throwing because we are shortening their summer trip here to 3 weeks instead of 6 weeks. Yes, you read that correctly. I wouldn't mind- we have plenty of space, but they are rude and disrespectful.

A few choice experiences from the last visit:
1. ignoring me when I say hello and then acting totally friendly when dh gets home from work (my nanny said to me that she would've thought I was lying if she didn't see it for herself- IT'S F******* NUTS).
2. screaming at my 3 year old for roughhousing with his brother- (you have no right to scream at my children).
3. telling us that we shouldn't have had two kids if we couldn't handle them (this while we were trying to share a holiday tradition and some glass broke and I was trying to grab both kids before they got hurt). They were sitting on the couch eating pie. I guess they are going to be REALLY excited about our 3rd (NOT).

There's more but I don't want to write a novel (bc I basically already did, I am sorry!).

It's actually causing a huge rift with dh. He told me that I am way too judgmental and that they are nice people and I don't understand people from that part of the country. DUDE. I grew up in NYC. I understand rude people and this is way beyond what's acceptable (especially from "family").

Someone talk me off a ledge. I swear I am on the verge of leaving him.

mamaber2204 · March 2019

@rms924 Oh wow. That is beyond bad. What is wrong with them?! Also, who on earth spends 6 weeks with staying at their adult kid's house? There's this whole industry out there that was built for the purpose of catering to people traveling...it's called the hotel industry. I get a weekend or MAYBE a week, but 6?! Come on! Sorry, this message isn't exactly talking you off a ledge. I would recommend you have a heart-to-heart w/ YH about some ground rules they are going to have to follow if they're going to mooch off of you for 3 weeks. Definitely throw in the "stress is bad for the baby" card. Or maybe he'll put you up in a nice hotel for 3 weeks!!!

easyenlove · March 2019

rms924 said:

I am feeling you @cammie0526

All of my IL are constant TW in my life. Can I vote them off the island, dear god.

The latest is the tantrum they are throwing because we are shortening their summer trip here to 3 weeks instead of 6 weeks. Yes, you read that correctly. I wouldn't mind- we have plenty of space, but they are rude and disrespectful.

A few choice experiences from the last visit:
1. ignoring me when I say hello and then acting totally friendly when dh gets home from work (my nanny said to me that she would've thought I was lying if she didn't see it for herself- IT'S F******* NUTS).
2. screaming at my 3 year old for roughhousing with his brother- (you have no right to scream at my children).
3. telling us that we shouldn't have had two kids if we couldn't handle them (this while we were trying to share a holiday tradition and some glass broke and I was trying to grab both kids before they got hurt). They were sitting on the couch eating pie. I guess they are going to be REALLY excited about our 3rd (NOT).

There's more but I don't want to write a novel (bc I basically already did, I am sorry!).

It's actually causing a huge rift with dh. He told me that I am way too judgmental and that they are nice people and I don't understand people from that part of the country. DUDE. I grew up in NYC. I understand rude people and this is way beyond what's acceptable (especially from "family").

Someone talk me off a ledge. I swear I am on the verge of leaving him.

6 weeks?!?!! Oh hell no. I'm very close to my Mom and Dad but could NOT have them over for 6 weeks. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. My goodness. I hope it gets better!

rms924 · March 2019

I love you guys. Thank you.

Yes, this is standard. They come 2x a year and stay for that length of time (for the last 6 years- so since I met my husband). Honestly, it wouldn’t bother me but they aren’t nice (sorry, I know that’s not an adult complaint).

hugs to all of you

my husband (btw) says that this is normal in the Midwest and that I don’t understand “midwestern” culture. So anyone from there, can you help a New Yorker understand ??? Or is that bullshit. I feel like it is but it’s impossible to argue that point with him.

sunshine2417 · March 2019

@rms924 staying for SIX WEEKS is not a Midwest thing unless he’s talking about another country! A week, sure, two AT MOST okay... SIX WEEKS IS ABSURD!!!!!! No no noooooope no thank you. Honestly, I wouldnt even want my best friend to come stay with me for six weeks let alone my own parents or in laws. After DS my parents wanted to stay for 2.5-3 weeks and we had to have long chats, numerous times, about how it was 10 days at ABSOLUTE MAX (and even that would be a lot) before they would need to GTFOOOOOO. I know every family is different but dear goodness I would
not be cool with anyone staying at my house for that long... and we very, very regularly have guests and an open door policy. Put your foot down!

rms924 · March 2019

Thank you at @sunshine2417! It’s really them more than the length of time. They are incredibly underhanded, deceitful and selfish. I think my husband just got used to it and thinks it’s normal.

monkeysmom80 · March 2019

@rms924 I know of no one who comes and stays with family for 6 weeks except for my stepdads family that comes in from Italy. And even then it's like once every few years not twice a year. I do not like anyone that much to invade my personal space/time for that long!

rms924 · March 2019

It’s kind of interesting - the first time they came I was like wow, this is a long visit. And my husband is such a great guy, I was thinking, it’s fine - it’s just twice a year.

But what hurts is they really take advantage and are rude and it just doesn’t feel like family. They are really manipulative and my husband just goes along with it. Then he turns around and says it’s his decision.

I am at my wits end and after 5+ years, I am mostly done. Again, the length would be no issue with diff people. It’s hard to effectively live w people who are snide all the time, ignore you and your children (at best). The only time they reach out is to ask me for things. For ex. Run to the store for organic chicken. My husband and I make a good living and they fully take advantage of that when they visit. We used to get lists of what they “needed” before but I put a stop to that. It’s insane to list what you want when visiting someone. That’s just nuts to me. But who knows, maybe it’s a midwestern thing

Eta : to make my word vomit a little clearer. also, pls carry on. I didn’t mean to dominate tw this week

cammie0526 · March 2019

@rms924 UGH. I don't have any words of encouragement (sorry), but for the record I'm pissed at your ILs on your behalf.

kiddiesandkitties · March 2019

@rms924 how far away from you do your IL's live? SIX WEEKS? I'd literally move out. Unless they live in another country, this is absolutely not acceptable. Does your H have siblings? Do they do this shit to the other kids too?! It's a hard no from me. This is the sole reason AirBNB was invented. Also, they have a home. They should go there after a week or two.

sunshine2417 · March 2019

@rms924 nope!!! Awful!!! 6 weeks at a time, twice a year, is 12 weeks out of your year! That’s almooooost 1/4th of your year that people are living in your home treating you like crap. NOPE! Be goooooone people! Does DH recognize how they treat you or work to correct it?

LJMoon6 · March 2019

@rms924 I'm from the midwest and I will admit that we can be very passive aggressive. From what you've describe it sounds like they are being that way to you. If they have a problem with something you say or did they ignore it and instead be rude to you at some other time in a nondirect way. I would flat out confront them the next time they do something rude. Midwesterners don't like confrontation but if you put it in their face they will have no option but to deal with it. Hopefully you guys can work out your problems.

janat1717 · March 2019

@rms924 yup, never heard of long visits like that ever with anyone. 4 nights with my mom and we all are at our wits end. She is super passive aggressive. That just sucks.

ternsetc · March 2019

@rms924 For six weeks for sure they should be crossing an ocean or the equator to get to you. Ugh what a thing to put up with, and making lists of things you should get them?! Glad you put a stop to that! What part of this is supposed to be normal in the Midwest (or anywhere)?!? Does YH recognize how rude they are to you/does he see them yell at the kids? Hopefully YH can start to see where you're coming from, it sounds like he's so used to it he doesn't really recognize it for what it is. You have my sympathy with all this and I really hope you and YH can work it out. Three weeks with these people sounds like an eternity. We had a two week visit from my dad recently (I have a complicated relationship with him - he's old, has always been eccentric, I'm an only child) - his first visit to our home - and it felt like he was here a long time.

MsBeachNJ · March 2019

@rms924 I've always followed the rule that houseguests and fish are the same... after 3 days, they both begin to stink

God bless you for dealing with 6 weeks. Hard pass on that one.

zuuls_mom · March 2019

@rms924 just echoing what everyone else has said, but YH needs to get his head out of his ass. He's being completely unfair to you by not only allowing his parents to spend 12 WEEKS a year being catered to by you guys, but also not having your back when they are rude to you. It's ridiculous. I'm not from the Midwest, but I can honestly say I have never heard of anything like this being "normal". I'm so sorry you've been dealing with this and I don't blame you for feeling at your whits end.

rms924 · March 2019

I seriously appreciate all the posts! I am going to try to “at” everyone but I am mobile bumping, so forgive me if I miss anyone.

@cammie0526 thank you! I appreciate the support

@kiddiesandkitties they now live in the southwest but refuse to fly. Their excuse is that they have a 2 day drive but that’s their choice...

@LJMoon6 that sounds about right. But get this: my husband swears his family is direct and open. I guess what confuses me the most is that my husband speaks about these people so
diffeently than my experience! Ftr I am not confrontational and I come from a pretty warm culture. There’s always been tension from day 1 when his mom asked me how did I learn to speak English so well (I’ve been here since I was 7 and I am a citizen). I get along with everyone (it’s the libra in me) but I feel that his mother and sister in particular have been either cold or passive aggressive from the minute they met me. That’s been a huge turn off for me and I think both of them expected me to continue to make an effort. I am polite and kind (I can’t be any other way) but I can’t sit around sucking up. And that’s what they require. It’s hard to explain but they are “big fish in a little pond.” My husband and his father cater to their every need. (Food, running errands, babying them when sick - I am talking colds, here). I was raised to be really self sufficient: I am just as comfortable in corporate America as I am unclogging a sink. They are both very needy and they like it that way. I like being self sufficient (no judgment, just commenting our differences).

@ternsetc and @janat1717 - I have a complicated relationship w my family, so I get it. I come from this perspective that you don’t get to treat your family like shit and get a pass. God knows I went through that for years with my mom (she has narcissistic personality disorder) and it was impossible. I totally understand but I have boundaries w my family (after many years and years of therapy). I don’t know - I wish it were different with my in laws and that they were actually nice.

@zuulsmom amen, sister! He doesn’t see it. I don’t know that he ever will. Tbh been fighting this fight for a long time and I am giving up. If I wasn’t pregnant, I’d probably be serving him w papers, but here we are. It’s the adulting that’s so tough but all I can do is focus on my kids, my career and figure out an exit strategy at some point when it’s right for my kids. It’s impossible to stay married to someone who is already married (to his family).

thank you all for your support. It means a lot to
me but really, I feel terrible for hijacking this thread like this. Wasn’t my intention.

cheshyre319 · March 2019

@rms924 Are you on Reddit at all? There is a group called JustNoMIL, the stories those people post sound just like yours.

Also, it isn't "his" choice. You are married. You have kids. You are a family. This is a joint decision on how long any guests stay, especially in your own home, especially if they make you unhappy. That's just insane.

And I don't think you are dominating the week, you just need support and that's the whole reason these boards exist.

knottie7749b73ba754d60d · March 2019

Sounds like something my mil would do as sdll. I feel you!

Niko1e · March 2019

Oh my goodness.. trying so hard to let this comment my coworker made to me go but I can't ****possible trigger warning- abortion****

I had mentioned to her how I've had a migraine for 3 weeks and how this pregnancy is kicking my butt.. I can't believe what she said next. She thought she was making a joke. "I'd of stuck a coat hanger up there so fast!" While making the motions... I just stared at her.. and said umm.. that was a little dark.. I didn't know what to say!! Drove home fuming and cant stop thinking about it since.. I don't want to look at her later today!

mamaber2204 · March 2019

@Niko1e ?!?!?!?!?!? Was she on drugs? Who says that to a pregnant woman?!?!

Niko1e · March 2019

@mamaber2204 right?! Like WhoTF does she think she is??? She has absolutely no filter... you just don't say stuff like that to anyone! She has no idea what people have been through in their life. She's young and apparently has LOTS to learn! Shes so lucky I'm not the confrontational type and didn't punch her in the face.. Haha

kaceyallan · March 2019

@Niko1e OMG! wtf?! That is soo ridiculous! She sounds young and soo dumb!

I had my first run in with 'stupid things co-workers say to pregnant people' today. First off, yesterday my coworker literally started rubbing my belly out of nowhere. And for an uncomfortably long time. And this is a coworker I barely say hi to, and do not work with closely at all. Then today, we got to work at the same time and she was ahead of me and held the door open for me. I said thank you as I walked past her, and she replied with "Fat people go first." Umm, wtf, b*tch?! I am pregnant you a-hole, not fat. And you don't know anything about my past and what I could be dealing with by gaining some weight in this pregnancy. I just can't believe the gull some people have!

mamaber2204 · March 2019

@kaceyallan Wow. Yeah, some people just seem to have absolutely no boundaries and no concept of what is inappropriate. How incredibly rude (on both counts)!

zuuls_mom · March 2019

@Niko1e Ummm excuse me!? Who says that!? I would have been like "You need to talk less. Thanks."

@kaceyallan OMG!!

no bitch GIF

MsBeachNJ · March 2019

@kaceyallan OMG the whole touching thing would've been enough for me to freak out - but her comments? I'd have been like, I'm pregnant, whats your excuse!?!

kaceyallan · March 2019

@MsBeachNJ Ahhh. I wish! I was so taken aback that I didn't say anything. And now I just want to avoid confrontation. And I couldn't even retort with that comment! She is a 40 year old women in a 12 year olds body!

rms924 · March 2019

@kaceyallan ugh sounds like she has her own weight issues.

Theres a woman who makes similar comments to me too - then when I am back to my pre pregnancy weight, she calls me anorexic. She has a whole host of issues I won’t comment on. Point is, you will never regret taking the high road - these people have to keep living with their f*cked up minds and you get to live your life being your best you!! 😊

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