UO Thursday!

lilmamabebe3 · March 2019

Heeeeeeere we go!

mrosek91 · March 2019

Twix should not be considered chocolate bars. The cookie to chocolate ratio is too high.

aukeev · March 2019

Cardi B is the worst thing that has happened to music in this decade.

peachy0709 · March 2019

Following on the candy theme, all American "chocolate" candy in general is overrated.

wabash15 · March 2019

I don't like babies with pierced ears.... I think kids should be old enough to take care of them on their own if and when they get their ears pierced... oh and it should be done at a tattoo studio not the mall....

ElcaB · March 2019

I don't really care what it's classified as, but now I want a Twix. Thanks, @mrosek91!

Colton was a flop bachelor. And Hannah B. is literally the worst choice for Bachelorette.

lilmamabebe3 · March 2019

oklahomak said:

Cardi B is the worst thing that has happened to music in this decade.

CARDI B IS A NATIONAL GODDAMN TREASURE! Her telling Tomi Lahren that she would dog walk her is the most iconic moment of 2019.

Jokes aside, I don't like her music but Cardi B is smart AF and her hot takes are pretty legit.

mkrel · March 2019

@wabash15 I so badly wanted to get my daughter's ears pierced as a baby, but my husband was completely against it. I feel like people either love it or hate it. I do agree though, it is much easier if your kid is old enough to help.

We may have touched on this in earlier weeks but I can't remember. I have zero issue with having an occasional small glass of wine in the second or third tri.

peachy0709 · March 2019

@lilmamabebe3 Freaking OBSESSED with Cardi telling that idiot that she will dog walk her. DH and I have now made that phrase a daily part of our conversations.

aukeev · March 2019

@lilmamabebe3 Haha! I really don't know much about her as a celebrity/person, I just can't stand her music. Maybe I need to give her [personality] another shot.

lilmamabebe3 · March 2019

peachy0709 said:

@lilmamabebe3 Freaking OBSESSED with Cardi telling that idiot that she will dog walk her. DH and I have now made that phrase a daily part of our conversations.

My husband and I say it to our dog all the time now. "Come on, dude, I will DOG WALK YOU." I am obsessed.

Seriously though, her music is not for everyone but we need people like her. Representation matters and she is so awesome.

MamaK225 · March 2019

Yes @lilmamabebe3 - I CANNOT get enough of Please Me right now

@wabash15 - I'm with you on the tattoo parlor, I know they have better, *actually sterile* equipment, as well as training. When/if my daughters want theirs pierced, that's where we're going (and I might get some ink while we're there!).

@mkrel - Yup! I actually bought several 4-pks of mini-bottles of wine to keep at the house so that I could have a sip when/if the mood strikes. They're approx 6 oz, so it can last a serving or two, but won't ruin an entire bottle (nothing worse than some stale wine!) if it takes me a week or two to finish it. I miss the taste and Fre's champagne is the best N/A on the market, but it gets expensive since bubbly goes flat (and gross) pretty quickly and most times, I just want a sip. I'm not normally a white zin fan, but their N/A version is by-far the best of their traditional wine offerings.

jrm_14 · March 2019

I do not like “money shots” on ultrasounds. I do not need a picture of my son’s penis. They’re not cute to show off. It’s weird.

Eta: bc monkey=\= money 😹

Beauxbaton · March 2019

I guess my UO is that I LOVE Cardi B as a musician. Her music just puts me in a good mood.

@wabash15 a lot of mom's I know wait until their kids ask for them. I think I got my first at 4 or 5. Second at 12 or 13. Third at 18. And fourth at 19. But currently they are all out because I was getting hives all the time and my ear lobes would swell. I'm not sure I'll put any back in.

lilmamabebe3 · March 2019

jrm_14 said:

I do not like “monkey shots” on ultrasounds. I do not need a picture of my son’s penis. They’re not cute to show off. It’s weird.

Do you mean money shot? I have never heard it called a monkey shot but that is my favorite new thing ever. Also, me in real life: Gender does not define us! Me, pregnant: Look at this picture of my baby's genitals--does that look like a girl to you? Are we sure this is a girl????

However, posting them on social media is fucking gross.

wabash15 · March 2019

maybe this is a FFTC... I have no idea who cardi B is and I don't think I've heard any of her music.
@beauxbaton I got my first set at 12, my second at 15 and my third at 26... I tried to pierce my cartilage twice but every time i have issues with it healing/getting infected so I have had to take it out...

peachy0709 · March 2019

@lilmamabebe3 - HA. I was a Women's Studies major in college and told myself I'd raise my kids "gender neutral" etc etc etc etc and then the minute they said "it's a girl," that registry was PINK AS HELL.

wabash15 · March 2019

@peachy0709 another reason I wanted to be/am team green.

thirdtimesacharm2019 · March 2019

I don’t understand why brand new moms feel the need to get all dolled up in the hospital for pictures and/or visitors. I wear makeup daily to work and usually if I leave the house on the weekends, but you sure won’t find it in my hospital bag. I’ll make brushing my teeth a priority, but to hell with the rest of it!

Avrilmai · March 2019

@thirdtimesacharm2019 I was reading a local pregnancy publication last night (i don't know what else to call it) and there was a list for the hospital bag. it included make-up, a blow dryer and said "be sure to pack snacks for hubby and guests". I was like F that. Guests and even DH are adults and can get their own damn snacks and I'm sure as hell not bringing a blow dryer to the hospital. FFTC: I don't blow dry my hair on a regular day certainly not doing it while in the hospital.

goldfishcraker · March 2019

I won't be piercing my child's ears until they are old enough to decide to do it for themselves.

I will not be bringing make-up to the hospital. Unless you count moisturizer as make up. My skin gets painfully dry lately.

I couldn't tell Cardi B from a hole In the wall...so I can't have an opinion.

I choose not to risk drinking any alcohol at all while pregnant. Though, I imagine I will indulge in a small glass of something at some point after baby is born. If I'm able to successfully pump at that point haha. I can't predict how breastfeeding will go.

@mrosek91 great. Now I am also craving Twix. Thanks haha
I do find it weird that People in the USA call chocolate bars "candy bars". I get it if they are made of candy... But otherwise it's weird to me.

My UO for today is that I think North America has taken "nut free schools" a little far. And that's coming from someone who grew up with, and lives with severe anaphylaxis to peanuts.
On one hand, I get and appreciate it. People without allergies don't usually Don't understand how severe it can be. Someone eats peanuts, touches a door handle, then I touch it 3 hours later...boom. reaction. Someone opens a jar of peanut butter in the room with me...boom.. trouble breathing. It gets everywhere, and is extremely aromatic.
But many districts here have banned all nuts. Period.
Yet, many children have other severe allergies. Milk, cheese, and eggs are fairly common anaphylactic triggers in children. And seafood.
Yet those aren't banned in schools....
And then it seems kids with the nut allergies arent learning to protect themselves. They expect society to take care of them and protect them from the allergy. But that's not how it is in the real world.

So..yea. not saying we shouldn't be taking steps to protect children. Because we absolutely should. But banning "any packaged food that is not lablled as nut free" is going too far.

Beauxbaton · March 2019

@wabash15 I got my cartilage pierced when I was like 15 and it never healed correctly

wabash15 · March 2019

@chillycanadian ohhh I hope schools here don't ban all nuts... DD drinks almond milk (though I guess we could go to coconut or pea....) but its hard enough with her being gluten and dairy free. I heartily second the importance of teaching kids with allergies early on to protect themselves. We have started from day 1 of her diagnosis and talk all the time about what foods are safe for her, hand washing etc

goldfishcraker · March 2019

@wabash15 awesome! I'm so glad you guys have done such a good job of making sure she knows what to do! Yay! It's SO important!

My mom tells me a story of when I was about 4 years old (diagnosed at 2 with peanut allergy), and I was offered potato chips my someone's mom. My mom was across the room, and saw it happening. She was starting to run across the room to stop me, but says I put my hands behind my back and took a step backwards, and asked the lady to read me the ingredients. "Peanut oil" was pretty standard for kettle cooked chips. Which these were. I told her "no thank you, I'm allergic" and walked away back to playing.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Especially with awesome parents like you! 😁

EmilyA724 · March 2019

My closest friend at my previous job is extremely allergic to all nuts and peanuts. She grew up with peanut butter in the house and just knew how to avoid it. She was more easy going about nuts and just not eating if food was contaminated than most vegitarians I know.

UO: if you’re a vegetarian, you should always have back-up snacks with you and not just assume everyone will accommodate your choice to not eat meat. It sucks, but plan, and don’t spend all your time complaining about limited food choices.

suzycupcake · March 2019

@jrm_14 Is that a thing? Please tell me that’s not a thing. 😑

My UO is that I’ll be wearing a Patriots long sleeved half top and a flowy skirt while giving birth. There’s no way in hell anyone will see me walking around my birthing room with my ass and vagina hanging out everywhere. No ma’am. There will be no blow dryer but my hair will be flat ironed during labor, my legs will be shaved, my vagina will be a landing strip, and there will be makeup on. I won’t be ready to go to the prom or anything, but I will look good.

@wabash15 In a quest to prove you wrong about mall piercings, I now fully agree with you about going to actual piercing shops. https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/anti-aging/a35208/piercing-guns-bad-dangers/

MamaK225 · March 2019

@Avrilmai - I wonder which decade the original article was published

I have seen several FB friends post their birthing pictures and I give such a hard eye roll. Everything that could go wrong, practically did with mine and I was a hot, sweaty mess in my blazing 85-degree birthing suite (some @sshole hit the transformer during morning rush hour, taking out the electricity - and therefore ALL A/C ... in July in the deep South) and puking every 45-60 minutes because of the extreme discomfort that this caused, despite the functional epidural. I don't know how women did it in hot climates before A/C.

I agree with @chillycanadian (and what @wabash15 has done with her child), it's awesome that people are more aware of severe allergies, but I think it does do a disservice to those with non-nut allergies - in not allowing them to hone their detection and protection skills needed to navigate the world post-school.

@suzycupcake - Oooooooh, I like the sound of that (from the area and also a huge Pats fan). I have a c-section/BF-friendly pajama set ready for "the day," but may look again to see if there's something more festive, since it'll likely be Training Camp and Tommy's birthday would have just passed

(BTW, DH and TB12 share the same birthday, though 5 yrs apart)

UO: I can still do "normal" things for another month or two. I appreciate people looking out for me, but I got a little irritated this morning when I dropped DD1 off at daycare. DH is "sick," so I agreed to take her (he normally does, so I can get in to work early). She's always been a bit clingy when I drop her off and this morning she asked if I would hold her for a moment before I left, so I picked her up and gave her a big hug. All the workers gasped, saying I really shouldn't be doing that in my condition. As said before, I appreciate their concern, but was deadlifting 2- and 3-times her weight, pre-baby ... so I know what my body feels like when I'm approaching my limit.

olivemomma · March 2019

@suzycupcake just make sure you aren’t too attached to the clothing you wear during birth! It will never look the same again!

thirdtimesacharm2019 · March 2019

@suzycupcake What an interesting concept. I’ve only had c-sections, so I never thought that other people could actually be wearing clothes during the birthing process... it totally makes sense you wouldn’t be hanging out naked!

zamoraspin · March 2019

@oklahomak The thing that has most convinced me that I'm old this year is trying to listen to Cardi B and just not being able to get into any of her music. She seems like a cool lady but my old ears are not fans.

Weddings have too much present giving and expense for everyone involved. Why does a bachelor/bachelorette party need to involve a long weekend out of town and at least $1k in expenses? Why do couples in their 30's need a bridal shower as well as wedding gifts? Also, I'm still bitter many of our friends did not even get us a wedding card and yet we give them hundreds of dollars worth of gifts every time they get married. I really would have been happy with a card, wtf is wrong with them?

becks68 · March 2019

@MamaK225 props on the deadlift, I’m still lifting at the gym (no benching though) and just WAITING for someone to say something... try me!

grangerhp37 · March 2019

@zamora_spin We had 3 members of our bridal party not even get us a card either. I get being in a wedding is expensive, but we kept our costs way down with affordable dresses/tuxes and our Bach parties weren’t anything extravagant. I was still surprised to not get at least a nice note from some of our closest friends on what of the biggest occasions of our lives. Definitely would not have been bothered by no gift!

wabash15 · March 2019

@suzycupcake I will say I had an idea of what I wanted to happen in labor re how I looked but honestly 90+% of the time that goes out the window. When your deep in it you could really care less and clothing of any kind can be super restrictive. Especially with a long labor most of your pre birth beauty prep will be ruined. All that being said those first pictures of you holding your baby, you will be beautiful, make-up, hair prep or not. That moment is magical and always will be no matter what you look like or what your wearing.

cato99 · March 2019

@lilmamabebe3 @peachy0709 the EXACT thing happened to me with DD, I was all “this child will grow up wearing postapocalyptic neutral color sacks of the rough hewn burlap of gender neutrality” and then when she was born it was like “if she is not dressed like a literal garden rosebud every waking and sleeping moment I will melt into a puddle of woe.” And for this upcoming boy I’ve bought more tiny blue and gray teddy bear garments than I’d like to admit.

And I absolutely bristle at the expectation that anyone take cosmetics to give birth, but FFFC I’m an idiot aging goth and gave birth in winged eyeliner and fixed my eye makeup as soon as I got to the recovery room.

zamoraspin · March 2019

@dogmomma096 The friends who didn't give us anything are all in the same friend group. They weren't in the wedding, the wedding was in-town, I didn't have a bridal shower, and our bachelor/bachelorette parties were small one-day in-town affairs where folks weren't out more than $20-30. We also had an open bar that we provided ourselves and this group of friends took two handles of nice liquor from it to have an after party without asking. Like you I'm not kidding when I say I'd be fine with a card, I just don't get it. One by one they are all getting married and I am shelling out hundreds of dollars every time, bitterly. One couple from that group is getting married next month and we already sent them an almost $300 set of knives, and then today I got an invitation to an engagement (?) party WITH A REGISTRY LINK ON IT. Bitches, it is too late for an engagement party and engagement parties are not gift giving events.

I get real fired up about wedding etiquette, I spent too much time on the TK boards when we were engaged

MamaK225 · March 2019

@becks68 - I'm definitely not lifting that now (I'll pick back up Nov-ish), but I don't have any problems lifting DD at 38 lbs. I'm just a little irritated they all freaked out when I picked her up for a big hug goodbye. I've seen teeny, tiny women (I'm 5'7" and curvy with broad shoulders and muscle definition, clearly made for lifting things) that are MUCH more preggo than me hauling all sorts of kids and gear around and I don't think twice except "let me get the door for her."

@zamora_spin - Totally agree with you on the extravagance. Like @dogmomma096, I did whatever I could to keep costs down for bachelorette (we stayed at a friend's family's beach house) party and didn't have any showers outside of two thrown by co-workers at work. Our wedding was in Vegas and I had booked a block of rooms so was able to get a considerable discount, plus it was "off season" as much as there is one there. I did make it very clear that if it was going to overextend anyone, don't feel any obligation to attend ... I wanted those who were able to come to enjoy themselves with great food and entertainment, not bleed them dry. We only had 2 attendants each (Vegas chapels are small, even in the one we chose that could hold 50 people) so I only had a MOH and Bridesman to contend with, but I do remember getting so frustrated with some of my other friends acting like they were British Royalty with their elaborate parties and swanky digs, etc. I'm *so* happy that season of my life is well behind me.

@thirdtimesacharm2019 - With DD2, I'll be scheduling a c-section (I had an unplanned - though not emergency - one with DD1 after 17+ hours of induced labor) ... do you mind providing insight on what I should expect? I'm not as concerned about the procedure itself, just what recovery looks like - since I was so exhausted last time, I do not remember a single thing since I passed out until a few hours later when it was time for meds (and I know scheduled ones are pretty different than non-scheduled anyway).

UO: I think anyone who goes to visit baby in the hospital should clear it with the parents well ahead of time AND bring something useful (food - if it's near meal time - or ask if they need anything "quick" from the pharmacy or grocery store, etc.) AND not stay longer than 20-30 min, unless the parents ask them to stay longer after they've already arrived. And certainly not bring other people with them. Balloons and flowers are a very thoughtful gesture, but it's just more stuff you have to lug home (or toss and feel guilty - dang hormones!) when you're trying to load everything up and head home.

sourlemon · March 2019

@MamaK225 and @thirdtimesacharm2019 maybe a thread for c sections would be good. Even for those who dont expect to have one, it may be good to read experiences from those who have BTDT so they know a little of what may happen.

wabash15 · March 2019

@mamak225 my c-section was scheduled with the twins and my understanding is the recovery is easier than a C after labor. I was sore for a while but that may have been because I was more active than they recommended. (not driving and not lifting the twins was not an option since DH was back at work right away and we had no help/family near by) I don't know if you had a belly band after the last C but I thought it was super helpful to support my core while my incision healed

sourlemon · March 2019

@wabash15 I actually had an easier time after my emergency c section (after 42 hours of labor) than I did after the scheduled one. So much of that depends on what else happens during the c section. In my case, my doctor had to cut through and remove a ton of scar tissue from the first (poorly cut c section -- i was cut while receiving CPR) and that was more difficult to recover from than the first one. He had to remove about half an inch of skin and the scar tissue under that, so it was pretty intense. Obviously that wont be the case for everyone, but many people do have to have some scar tissue removed the second/third/+ time around.

That said, with both of them, I was at Target shopping the day after leaving the hospital (so 3 days post surgery). But the amount of pain between the two was crazy different and how long the pain lasted was quite different.

MamaK225 · March 2019

@wabash15 - I didn't have a band last time, but am seriously considering it this time since I'm sure life will be more hectic and recovery may be a smidge harder having a Toddler around. Thank you!

@sourlemon - That's a great idea!

@suzycupcake - I see where @smmatt08 was listed for CS/VBAC Support thread, but don't see that one has ever been started. My stalking skills aren't *that* great, but my attempts yielded no returns when I was trying to find the user in the August 2019 discussions.

wabash15 · March 2019

@sourlemon I had heard some say that a RSC recovery can be harder that the first time.... and I would guess scar tissue might be why. Is funny though you can always spot a C-section mom by their characteristic shuffle right after surgery...

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