August 2019 Moms

UO Thursday 2/28

Lets see if we can top last weeks!


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Re: UO Thursday 2/28

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  • @AKuzReve I doubt everyone will be ready to switch to Facebook just yet, but June made the switch to a private group instead of the open BMB...
  • @dogmomma096, yeah I was thinking private group might be better for now. 

    *Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*

  • @AKuzReve I get what you're saying, but I also think a lot of people hesitate to attach themselves to their pregnancy until later in the first tri or early second tri, especially if they have had previous losses.  I remember being scared to post on my BMB with my daughter because of the loss the time before.  That being said, the later we get into the pregnancy I do think it's odd when people just appear and want to join in.  

    @olivemomma Totally agree!
  • @mkrel, oh I totally understand that. I think that’s why it’s now starting to annoy. (Perhaps irritationally) Some people due at the beginning of the month are like 18 or 19 weeks pregnant? Also most just post 1 time in the weekly check in, comment on no one else, and just disappear. 

    *Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*

  • @wabash15 ugh totally agree! Of course there are rare occasion when my kids are up and out past bedtime, but I’m super strict on a nightly routine and want them in bed by 7:30. Not only do they need their rest but momma needs her adult time!
    BabyFruit Ticker}
  • @wabash15 I totally thought I'd be this laid back mom with a kid that didn't need a schedule....NOPE! I followed her lead for a while, but I am crazy about naps and bedtime now. It makes life much more pleasant for all of us. 
  • @sourlemon i agree that sports are important for kids from a young age, or other activities if they really hate sports. I am on the fence though about stopping them from really specializing in one if they really excel at it and/or enjoy it. DD has always been involved in sports since she was old enough and so far has done dance, gymnastics, swim and soccer. Yesterday a new session of gymnastics class started and in her level there were 2 kindergarteners, 3 2nd/3rd graders, and 1 that was in 7th or 8th grade. You could tell the teenager was uncomfortable and I would hate for DD to start a sport later in life and be surrounded by kids way younger than her. It also is awesome to watch her excel at something and be passionate about it, so I can't imagine pulling her from something she loves. DS is 2 and he starts a sports sampler class tomorrow and I LOVE that concept because we can learn if he gravitates to one more than other before comitting to full seasons. 
    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • We did music year round and a winter sport (figure skating or hockey) and a summer sport (swimming) so we got variety but didn't spread ourselves too thin doing lots of stuff all at once. 

    I also did soccer as a 5/6yo and quickly found out it wasn't my thing lol. I was the kid picking flowers in the middle of the field haha. 

    TTGP history (*TW*):

    Started TTC Oct 2015
    BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
    Re-started TTC Aug 2016
    Started IF testing Nov 2016
    Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
    BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019


  • @Allycat11 what I mean by specializing is basically quitting all others and only doing that one. I think kids benefit from the variety. They all have different movements and atmospheres. Some are individual and some are team. DD also does dance once a week and loves it. But no way will I let her not try other sports so she can only do dance. Sadly, our sports here dont start until 4. Dance starts at 3 and I'm counting down until my little DD can start.

    I was destined to be a collegiate athlete. When I was really young I did a bit of everything: gymnastics, soccer, basketball, softball, tennis, swimming. But when I was 8 my parents made me decide on only one and I had to quit everything else. I picked softball because I was best at that one. I started playing travel ball and would have practice 4 days a week and an out of town tournament almost every weekend. I did that until I was 16 and blew out my knee and needed surgery. The doctor said the only reason my knee had the problem it did was because I only did the same motions all the time, that if I had done a wider range of sports, there wouldnt have been so much specific wear and tear. That basically ended my competitive career in all sports, but gave me the opportunity to try out different things because my parents (well, my mom) had agreed college ball was not going to happen. My dad never got over it and that is seriously one of the reasons he still doesnt speak to me!

    TL;DR: Do all the sports, not just one.
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • On the sports topic I think how busy or open someone's schedule is for their kids is none of anyone else's business. Some kids thrive on constant activity, others need more free time and people need to trust that the parents know their kids best. My kids are polar opposites. DD thrives on constant activity and a busy schedule but many people have voiced their opinions that she does too much. DS does better with more down time and I do not think we will ever give him a packed schedule because it would not work for him. 
    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • @Allycat11 i agree. Each kid is different and it should be between the kid and the parent. I was the busy kid between sports and music lessons. My brothers were a different story. They didnt turn out so well as adults, but people never criticized my parents for their schedule, only mine!

    Both of my kids need downtime after school (pre-k and daycare) each day. So when we get home they get a small snack and I turn on the TV (shoot me). They get to watch one episode of something while I cook dinner. If they dont get that downtime, dinner is always a disaster, fighting starts almost immediately, and they both end up going to bed early for bad behavior. They just need to decompress and be left alone for 20 minutes while their brains rot.

    Another UO: I dont think screen time is all that bad. The girls current obsession is the Wild Kratts, and I'm quite amazed at how many animal facts both kids are able to tell me days and weeks after they see an episode. So long as "good TV" is on, there can be learning taking place.
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • @wabash15 yesss to the kids out late thing!! My husband coaches high school basketball and the games start at 7:30 and most are 40 minutes+ from our house. One of the player’s parents was giving me serious grief about not bringing our 2 year old to the games because he “needs to see his dad coach” are you kidding me?! I was so seriously annoyed!

    I can never think of my own UO! Here’s the best I’ve got: I’m not a big fan of going to the beach other than going for walks and the scenery is nice. I don’t like salt water, swimming in the ocean is not enjoyable, and getting all sticky and covered in sand— no thanks! Give me a pool float and cocktail (mocktail) or a lake. 
  • I guess my UO is that I don't think you can control if your kid is a sleeper or not. 

    Also, I agree with you @sourlemon on screen time. My personal philosophy is that as long as the kid seems engaged, it's cool.  The only shows we "banned" were the ones that were so repetitive that my kid would literally kid zone out and be zombified (which sounds like we're in agreement on that too). 
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  • @olivemama yes. Vaccines should be mandatory barring medical reasons for excemption. If you want to be a member of society, vaccinate.

    As kids, we always got to choose an activity for the season. Dance, gymnastics, choir, acting, soccer, swimming, music (baseball in my brothers case)....
    Though it got a little crazy in Jr high when I had choir, intermurals, flute violin, piano, concert band, and musical theatre. Plus school activities of "leadership club" and charity work. (It was my choice. But I was burning out.)
    And kids these days seem expected to be in 4 or 5 activities simultaneously. I feel like It's too much. Too much for parents and too much for kids. Right now My niece is in soccer, swimming, acting and dance. She loves it and doesn't want to give any up, but I also feel like kids should have time to just...go outside and use their imagination. Or build forts or whatever.

    Anyway, I hope to pick/let the kids pick one activity per season to try. Or maybe a sport and an "arts" depending on the child.
  • @sourlemon I heard a really interesting story on the radio about Norwich, Vermont and how they produce so many Olympic caliber athletes. I think that story talked about how they don't push kids to specialize, and they are better athletes for it. 
  • @sourlemon oh yeah totally agree on not committing to one then! I tried dance, gymnastics, swim, cheerleading, golf, basketball, softball, soccer, track and then non sports hobbies too. Also I do not think screen time is not all that bad. Both of my kids get it for sure every day after school and sometimes more. 

    @jmesue1030 also not a beach fan. I live in a tourist town on one of the great lakes so beach life is huge here. I love walking the beach, driving by, sitting in my car and enjoying a coffee or lunch from the beach parking lot...but my actual beach time maxes at 1-2hours. 

    @peachy0709 people take WAY too much credit for their kids sleeping habits. DD is 6 and still fights going to sleep, wakes up frequently at night and is a terrible sleeper. Since DS turned one we have put him in bed at 7:30 and do not hear from him until 12-13 hours later. Even if he can't sleep DS just chills in his room, DD throws temper tantrums instead of chilling in hers. 
    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • @mkrel With the twins we are team schedule. We could not survive with out it!
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

  • @Allycat11 - HAHAHA you remind me of a story we love to tell.  Our oldest is a terrible sleeper, and it's fine, we just roll with it. But it BOTHERS people, and they always want to give us advice (try this $100 light bulb! do a routine (...we obviously do a bed time routine that is calming, etc, but people love to tell us anyway)!) Well, one of our friends that it seems to bother the most eventually admitted that their son is just a hardcore sleeper. Apparently the power was out one night and when it came back on at 2:00 am, their kid slept through ALL THE LIGHTS in his room being on for FIVE MORE HOURS.  You can't teach that, that's just that kid, man. 
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  • @AKuzReve I understand your UO about people doing an intro and then never surfacing again. I'd also bet that a lot of people just lurk. It also seems like a lot of posting is to relay advice/experiences of those who have been pregnant and have LOs. As a first-timer, I have no advice/experiences of this sort, but I love reading other's posts!
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  • mrosek91mrosek91 member
    edited February 2019
    @chillycanadian I think we can only be friends if we never share a meal together.
    American cheese is amazing for anything you want melty stringy cheese.
    (This related to this week's and last week's OU, I love american cheese and ketchup, DH prefers "real cheese" and marinara sauce. DH does the shopping, earlier in the week, I commented that I wanted a bowl of noodles and cheese but we were out of the ingredients. He said "No, I went shopping today, and picked up your processed cheese, and processed tomato products.")\

    Edited to say I have never tried CheezWhiz but it sounds revolting, so I guess there is one thing we agree on.
  • I don't understand the appeal of hiking.

    And another one, I don't understand why there are people that are so adamant that kids needs jackets in a car. Like, have they never heard of blankets?

  • @chillycanadian YES YES YES. Processed cheese is soooooo GROSS. My MIL puts it in a ton of her food, then wonders why I don’t eat the stuff she makes, and am not a fan of letting her feed it to DD. Just BLECH! 
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  • Guys, I love every UO this week, except @jmesue1030’s sorry!!!! 

    My kids get all the vaccines and play a different sport each season (with music and scouts and for my oldest, robotics year round). With 6 kids (4 old enough to play sports), things get crazy, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I expect new people to join up until the beginning of their second trimester, then I think it’s weird to have new people join. I do like American cheese for melty stuff like grilled cheese, but no cheese whiz here. And my 2.5 year old is currently glued to Paw Patrol, while my 15 month old sleeps, so I can try rest and try to get enough energy up to rally for the afternoon/evening.  And I loooovvveee the beach. It’s my happy place. 

    My UO is that I consider myself to be pretty feminist, but I also don’t want to take out the trash, shovel the snow, or mow the lawn. :lol:


  • OOOoooOoOOhhh I have so much resentment against ppl who don’t understand little kid sleep schedules! So I grew up in Argentina where sleep patterns (like Spain) run pretty late. When I was in elementary school my bedtime (I only had a bedtime because my mom is USAmerican) was 9 pm and my friends thought that was, like, soooo strict (looking back on it I could have used way more sleep). 

    A couple of weeks ago a friend was visiting from there and thought it was totally barbaric that I put DD (who is not even 2) to bed at 7:30ish, and kept talking snidely about “weird American habits” and trying to push me to put her to bed later “to see if she’ll sleep in”—like, no dude, she’s up at 6:30-7am no matter what, plus that’s when I need to get the ball rolling household-wise so that I can get to work and it would be a disaster to have DD sleep til 8! Aaargh! 

    AND she questioned safe sleep stuff too! She thought it was cruel not to give DD full heavy blankets (the rec is not til 2 years old). Sorry this became THURSDAY OF RANTINESS 
  • @thirdtimesacharm2019, yes! Granted I’m a FTM but don’t you check what your child watches before you let them?! Children shouldn’t be able to control YouTube. There is so much shit on there that no one needs to see, not even me. 

    @Lotus_2008, I’m also a FTM so I have no advice/experience but I still try to interact. I have advice or experience about other things so I try to contribute in those ways or just be supportive of people when i can be. 

    *Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*

  • My favorite sandwiches as a young kid were:
    -cheez whiz and peanut butter
    - cheez whiz and pickles

    I grew out of those preferences,  but as a 3yo I was all over that lol

    TTGP history (*TW*):

    Started TTC Oct 2015
    BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
    Re-started TTC Aug 2016
    Started IF testing Nov 2016
    Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
    BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019


  • I will totally admit that especially when I’m in Europe and see small children out and about at 9 pm or later, I think it’s cute and precocious, but I’m also not their or anyone else’s parent (yet!!) and have no idea of the repercussions.  It’s probably the same way I feel about (well behaved) kids at fancy restaurants... adorable from afar.  

    UO: I think there’s nothing wrong with referring to your pets as your children, or using them as a frame of reference when others talk about their children... I get that there are probably some red lines here, but if you want to go on a diatribe of how cute or awesome your baby is... you’re going to have to hear about my beagle!
  • @becks68 I think it's fine to talk about pets as your kids when everyone else is talking/bragging about how awesome their kid is. Or how tired they are because the dog or kid was up all night (cuz i swear my kids sleep better than my dogs).

    However talking about the struggles of pets compared to the struggles of kids makes me laugh so much. Granted, people without kids have no idea and they are trying to relate (totally get it) but I actually had someone tell me that their dogs teeth cleaning procedure was as hard on them (the "parents") as my kid's heart surgery. Nope, not the same. 

    And I'm a dog owner. I have 3 dogs, have always had 3 dogs. Before kids they were my babies. But the love, concern, joy, bond, EVERYTHING you feel for a child is soooo much bigger/deeper than what you feel for a pet. You just don't know it yet. 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


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