Weekly Questions 1/27

purplg8r · January 2019

What questions do you have this week?

baby3ob · January 2019

I'm pregnant with my 3rd - I recently started having a resurgence of asthma issues about 1.5 years ago and take a daily inhaler. The last few days i've noticed its slightly harder to breathe - not like ER worthy, but it takes more effort. Is this common this early in pregnancy? (I've left a message with my doc). I'm wondering if it's also worse b/c of the crazy weather.

peachy0709 · January 2019

@baby3ob - While I am not asthmatic, I have always had a hard time breathing in early pregnancy. I'm sure there is still no harm in asking your OB, but I've had trouble through all 3 of mine, too

database6 · January 2019

@baby3ob I have been crazy out of breath lately. I remember the same with my first but I do keep forgetting to bring it up with my OB. I will pant just going up the stairs, which is not normal for me at all.

aukeev · January 2019

Has anyone else felt little "flutters" in your ute area around 10 weeks? I know it's too early to feel the baby moving, but sometimes I swear SOMETHING in there is twitching.

database6 · January 2019

@oklahomak yes, I have felt some flutters for a couple of weeks now (I’m 13 weeks). I know most people say it’s too early, but I know it’s not all gas.

elizabeth_1985 · January 2019

@oklahomak This is my third and I feel like I can sometimes feel flutters if I lay just right on the couch. I'm almost 13 weeks.

Beauxbaton · January 2019

@baby3ob breathlessness has always been one of my first "symptoms." Me and my friend talk about how being pregnant makes you feel extra out of shape with how hard it makes breathing lol.

@oklahomak I have felt what I would describe as "pressure" feeling. It's kind of hard to explain, but I'm pretty sure it's baby.

MamaK225 · January 2019

@database6, @peachy0709, @baby3ob - I *always* have difficulty catching my breath in the first trimester. I almost passed out last night, leaning over and reading a very short board book for DD.

I have been feeling early quickening (beginning 11w3d) this week, but only if I am mostly reclined in the recliner and if I turn slightly to one side ... and drink cool water. Nearly identical to when DD was in utero. Though she had anterior placenta, so it was closer to 21-ish weeks with her.

mkrel · January 2019

@baby3ob My OB told me that for about 1/3 of pregnant women asthma gets worse, 1/3 see no change, and 1/3 see an improvement. I didn't notice a change with my first, but I am using my rescue inhaler more frequently with this pregnancy so far. I'm hoping things will level out.

Amdogger82 · January 2019

I didn't have another appointment until March 6, I just have to go to the lab sometime next week to get my NIPT drawn. But today my Dr.'s office called and said they just want to do a doppler check when I come into the lab since it will be so long until my next appointment. I kinda grilled the lady on the phone to make sure there was not any other reason they were concerned, and she assured me it was just because it's such a long time until my next appointment. My question is--I'll only be 10 +3 are they going to be able to pick up the heartbeat on a doppler? I'm just worried it's going to turn into an unnecessarily stressful afternoon.

wabash15 · January 2019

@amdogger82 they may be able to hear the HB, but if they can't that is also normal. It can sometimes be hard to hear especially depending on the position of the uterus until after 12 weeks.

MamaK225 · January 2019

@Amdogger82 - It is very likely, especially if there isn't an anterior placenta. My NIPT test is today and I'm going to demand a doppler since I haven't even had a heart rate measurement and I'm almost 12 weeks.

Question - for curiosity more than anything - how many of you have a female OB? Male OB? Do you have a preference?

It seems to be a hotly debated thing in one of my local FB mom's groups and I never realized there was such a divide. Personally, I have a slight preference for a male OBGYN because I prefer the more clinical treatment and feel like since they only have secondhand experience/academic knowledge, they won't be as quick to dismiss a concern I have "because I had that once and it was nothing."

bluebonnet15 · January 2019

@MamaK225 I have a female OB who practices in an all-female OBGYN practice. A female provider has always been my preference.

aukeev · January 2019

@MamaK225 I have a male OBGYN. I'be had a female GYN in the past, and honestly didn't have a preference.

olivemomma · January 2019

@MamaK225 I have always had a female OB as I have never wanted a male other than my husband hanging out down there. With that being said both of my babies ended up being delivered by a male OB and if you are at a teaching hospital you will likely have both male and female medical students/residents hanging out in your room. At that point a pro football team could have been in the delivery room and I wouldn’t have cared.

Ultimately i I don’t think it matters much as long as you are comfortable with your provider.

I will say though, this may be an UO, but I find it weird now a days when men choose to go into OB/GYN. Older male OBs don’t bother me as much because there just weren’t many female doctors back in the day so someone had to do it, but now that there are so many women in medicine i find the choice odd. My husband has gone through the whole medical route so we know a lot of people in all sub specialties and whenever I meet a young guy going into OB/GYN I just get weirded out.

olivemomma · January 2019

I should Also add any professional doctor will not use personal experience as a reason to do or not do something, worry or not worry, etc. if you find that you should switch providers regardless

wabash15 · January 2019

@MamaK225 my first RE was a man and my MFM with the twins was a man. My second RE was a woman and I used midwifes last time and they were all women. I just go with who I like best or who is recommended and It doesnt matter weather they are men or women. I have not experienced having a female dismiss a concern because it was normal for them. All of my providers have taken any of my concerns seriously.

database6 · January 2019

@Amdogger82 I have both male and female. My practice rotates you through all the different providers since they don’t know who will be on call when you deliver. I have two favorites that I schedule my GYN visits with, one mark and the other female. It doesn’t matter at all to me, I love them both for different reasons.

elizabeth_1985 · January 2019

I've only had female OBGYNs, and they have been extremely professional. I work in a male-dominated field and get extremely uncomfortable when males/females are stereotyped. People are people.

Avrilmai · January 2019

@MamaK225 My OB/GYN is female in an all female practice. My RE primary RE was female, but I saw her both of her partners, one I actually saw more than her and they were both male.

@olivemomma I've had a chance to talk with a few medical students in the last few months that have chosen OB/GYN as their specialty and the majority of them have said they picked OB/GYN because it is the best mix of medical and surgical. They get to know their patients and have relationships with them, but also get to do surgeries and they like the mix. It may be a reason that men continue to go into OB/GYN.

Beauxbaton · January 2019

@olivemomma I once asked my male OB why he went into gynecology. He's not old, early 40's. He said he went into it because it's mostly "happy medicine." Sure there are the non baby related things women come in for, and there is having to occasionally give a woman bad news, but for the most part he sees women and their families during the happiest moments of their life. I really like my OB he's so chill, and so personable. The first OB I saw was an older man, like that was 6 years ago and now he's retired. And I hated him. He was a jerk.

peachy0709 · January 2019

@mamak225 - I'm with you that I didn't realize it was such a debate, in part because what I'm about to share. So my OB, a male, that delivered DD2 and will deliver this baby has been my gynecologist since I went on birth control at 16 to regulate my hormones. I've just always known him, my mom goes to him, my sister does, and he delivered my best friend's daughter last May. With DD1 we were in a college town and I went to an all-female practice (which I actually was unaware of, I just got the referral from MFM and went), and the resident on call who delivered DD1 was a female, but as a previous poster said, at that point I was like "whoever, I don't care, let's just do this."

Edited for clarity on genders.

olivemomma · January 2019

@Avrilmai and @Beauxbaton those are both good points! Don’t get me wrong I think men can obviously be great OBs, as I said, both of my kids were delivered by one and I think comfort with your provider is most important. I still find the choice a little interesting but to each their own!

goldfishcraker · January 2019

Mine is male, TW* because that's who was on call at the ER when they called in the cavalry with our last loss. (At one point there were 6 doctors, 4 nurses and my husband who was acting as a nurse, all trying to save my life) end TW*
He has been following us for the last 10 months. Mostly I've been very happy with him, except for one appointment when my husband couldn't make it, and I felt he was short and dissmissive to me. But I chalked that up to culture (or having a bad day), not gender.

The last 2 OBs at the clinic for this pregnancy were female, and they were also great.

Generally, I'm more comfortable with men, but that's probably because that's what I'm used to. I've only had male family doctors my whole life. I also prefer working with male partners at work usually. (But that's for lots of reasons. Like Sometimes when shit hits the fan at 3 am in a drug house, it's nice to have a big imposing guy with you).

I also know, as a care provider, we are there to help you. Male or female, we don't care that your legs aren't shaved, or that your penis is small and lopsided, or that your boobs are uneven. We don't care that you like to stick stuff up your butt..we just need you to be honest about how it got there so we know what kind of injury we are looking at. I dont care that you do drugs, or get drunk every night while dancing the YMCA naked. If you are kind and respectful to us, we aren't judging you. (When you're a rude asshole for no reason-and there are lots of legitimate medical reasons- I jugde you for being an asshole.)

Anyway, as long as a care provider knows their crap, and treats me with respect, I don't care what equipment is between your legs.

aecm · January 2019

@Amdogger82 I think there’s a very good chance you should be able to hear a heart beat on the Doppler at 10+ weeks. Enjoy it - it’s so fun to hear!

@MamaK225 I specifically picked a female OBGYN for my care with DD1 b/c I thought that would make me the most comfortable. For the record, she is absolutely fantastic, and she very literally saved DD1s life during delivery (long story for another time), so of course I’m sticking with her for this pregnancy. That said, during my first pregnancy she happened to be unavailable for one appointment, so I was rebooked with the only other OB in the practice who had availability...a man...and it happened to be the appointment where they do the GBS swab and your first cervical check 😂. He was great, and now he’s my go-to back-up OB. Originally I was SURE “female is best” in the OB department, but I’ve changed my mind to “competent is best!”

EmilyA724 · January 2019

My OB is female and I’ve always sought out females. For primary, I don’t really care, but OBGYN my prefrencs is female. But I know plenty of people that go to and love their male doc. It’s all about personal preference. I also only go to female hair stylists and for massages.

Like others said, DD was delivered by a male doc and had one male resident and I couldn’t have cared less.

Allycat11 · January 2019

I prefer female OBs because I am more comfortable talking to them openly about female related issues. When DD was born my OB had just given birth to twins 2 days prior so obviously she was not working. Her practice was all female but because they were down a doctor, I had the on call doctor for the hospital at my delivery. I met him literally within a couple hours of having DD and at that point I did not care as long as they were competent. He guided a female resident through a very difficult delivery and they literally saved DDs life while keeping the room calm. I had no idea how scary things were until after the fact and am confident that he was put in that room for a reason that day.

suzycupcake · January 2019

My preference has always been women only for a reason that won’t be shared. My last RE is a man. That was very difficult for me to get used to but I did because his success rate is so high. My preference after him is still going to be women. Where I’ll be delivering, the chances of getting my OBGYN on that day are slim because it’s Kaiser which is a teaching hospital. There will be no students or other unnecessary staff in my room on that day as part of my birth plan. Mostly, it’ll just be myself, my husband, my doula, and the midwife.

sourlemon · January 2019

First baby my OB was a woman and I hated every minute with her. But with my due date being a holiday, no one else would take me as they were "booked".

Second was a male with a female midwife. Every other appointment was with the OB and every other with the midwife. I loved that practice but they retired.

This one is complicated. It's a big practice and you see whoever is available that day. The nurse practitioner is a female and she has a male medical stufent so both times I've been I've seen them both (both with exams). My MFM is a man. My primary OB is female but I'm not even scheduled with her until third trimester.

thirdtimesacharm2019 · January 2019

My whole practice is women (5 OBs and 2 NPs). I’ve seen most of them over the years and they are all great, although some are more personable than others. My primary doc has kids in the same schools as mine so we have something to talk about while she does the exam, which is a welcome distraction.

With the first child my OB was a man because there were very few practices with openings that accepted my insurance at the time. I mostly saw his NP, who was fantastic, and I probably would have gone back with child two if she hadn’t moved.

Amdogger82 · January 2019

Thanks @MamaK225, @aecm and @wabash15!

@MamaK225 I have always had a a female gyn/ob. I feel more comfortable asking my super personal questions, and my personal experience has been not feeling heard by male doctors, but my current GP is a man I am really fond of him...I think it's probably more about personality than gender.

purplg8r · January 2019

I’m super modest so when I was looking for an OB, I made sure to choose one at an all female practice. I also chose a female RE but there were males in the office 2. One of them did one of my iuis, one did my egg retrieval and another did my endometrial biopsy. They’re very nice but I was uncomfortable and chose not to be if possible

wanderlustsoul · January 2019

I have never had an ob/gyn. Still don’t. My doctors have been 2 males and 1 females. I don’t really have a preference. My midwife is all females at the practice.

suzycupcake · February 2019

For pregnancies that weren't a result of IF treatment, how many ultrasounds do you get with an OBGYN, when, and for what?

cato99 · February 2019

I’m fascinated by the male/female OB responses! I never really had a preference. I also rotate around seeing a bunch of OBs in the practice throughout pregnancy with no preference (and before that my RE practice). The one male OB in my practice is the one who wound up delivering DD and did a spectacular job on a difficult case—he really saved DD’s life. Outside of crisis situations he’s kind of a jerk, but I’m like forever loyal to him.

The “personal experience” with female OBs angle went both ways with me, so really it comes down to what kind of professional you are regardless of gender. The bad one was that the OB who delivered my GD diagnosis was so cruel and flippant about it and the fact that she was pregnant herself really shattered me because I felt so judged next to her surely perfect pregnancy (not that I was an overly reactive hormonal ball of nerves or anything).

But then on the flip side when I had all sorts of breastfeeding blips, it was another female doc’s personal experience that helped. She said that breastfeeding in particular is not a required topic of medical training as OBGYN at all (!?) so they’re all kinda making it up as they go along. I had had bilateral mastitis which had cleared up, but then I wound up with blebs (milk blisters) which were a thousand times more painful but are medically kind of a mystery. She told me to use an unusual experimental technique she had been told by a lactation consultant when she had the same issue (a thin layer of a particular steroid) and that fixed it!

Allycat11 · February 2019

@suzycupcake for a healthy pregnancy many women are shocked how few ultrasounds you actually receive. The main one is the anatomy scan at roughly 20 weeks. While many people refer to it as the "gender ultrasound", the real purpose is for them to measure pretty much everything and make sure your baby is developing properly. Some offices also have a standard practice of a dating u/s early in first tri to confirm dates and that the baby is growing in the proper location, not all offices do that. The next most common would be the optional NT scan, which is done late in firsr tri to look for genetic abnormalities...again very much optional.

Other than those, ultrasounds are really only needed when they have a suspicion or knowledge that something is not right and they need to check in. *TW* due to my history of multiple losses and some high risk pregnancies I always end up with more ultrasounds and I would not wish that on anyone.

elizabeth_1985 · February 2019

@suzycupcake I feel like there was also an ultrasound while in labor to verify the baby is head down. Although, that memory is a little fuzzy.

cmessamore · February 2019

I have had male and female OBs and I don’t really have a preference. I have found some males I love, some I don’t and some females I love and some I don’t. The only thing I like about males (and this may sound strange) is that because they tend to have bigger hands, they can reach my cervix easier when I go for checks (which is a lot-because my cervix is incompetent and also in a weird location). When the females with smaller hands check my cervix, they basically have to fist me to find my cervix-soooo uncomfortable.

@suzycupcake I think each office has their own policies. My OB office does an ultrasound around 6-7 weeks for dating purposes. Then a highly recommended one at 12 weeks for the NT Scan. Then they do an anatomy scan between 18 and 20 weeks. And they do one more ultrasound around 34-36 weeks to check baby’s size and to make sure baby is head down, ready to go!

Like @Allycat11 since I am high risk, I get a few more ultrasounds. I got one at 6-7 weeks and one at 12 so far. Then I will get one at 16, one at 20, and then I will continue to get them every 4 weeks until they decide to start checking my cervix manually.

aukeev · February 2019

@suzycupcake My best friend is also pregnant and low risk/was not seeing a fertility specialist. She had an ultrasound at 12 weeks, her anatomy scan (I want to say hers was at 17-18 weeks) and then one last ultrasound last week at 34 weeks.

mkrel · February 2019

Late to the party here, but I LOVE my male OB. I had preferred females until I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst and ended up with a male OB because I didn't have one in the area. He was awesome, always made me laugh, made me feel very comfortable. When we moved to TX I was so bummed to leave him, and my hair girl recommended her OB who also happens to be male. I legitimately missed him after I was done be pregnant with my first lol. My husband loves him too. I used to think it was odd when I was younger until my first male OB told me how he switched specialties after his OB GYN rotation in school realizing how amazing delivering babies was as well as the surgical aspect.

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