@Avrilmai - they will check your iron levels periodically through pregnancy! You'll get use to the blood draws/pricks/super fun stuff we get to do to have babies
I am only here to be annoying and complain that 1. I threw up so much that my mascara was all down my face and now I have no makeup on. That's what I get for throwing shade at cheap makeup. and 2. My NIPT is still in the processing stage and it's making me super angry.
I am seriously annoyed with randos coming in for no reason. There is a waiting period to post not so you have obviously been lurking and it's creepy. Find something else to do, weirdo.
Also, when the bump fled to proboards a few years ago, a bunch of lurkers came out of the woodwork talking about how much they loved us and knew us and had been following us for years and it was creepy as shit. We talked so much shit about how weird it was in our facebook group and proboards never really stuck because of it. It's weird. Pitch in or go away.
@Avrilmai - Yes, I do keep them on a tracker when they go on Deal (that's when I stock up and push out the subscriptions) But thanks for reminding me, since I probably need to check my subscriptions today anyway!!
@thirdtimesacharm2019 - Yes! My vitamins, you have to take 6 (they're gummies), so ALWAYS read the label about the correct dose.
@lilmamabebe3 - That is so sweet and I'm also in agreement with Amazon GC and a little note. That is so thoughtful and definitely makes your life easier. I have a sneaking suspicion that the award might bring unwanted attention to the fact they they *are* willing to go above and beyond and might get taken advantage of by less-than-thankful co-workers.
**History in Spoiler**
Me-35, DH-36 - TTC since 08/10 Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil) ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day) FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok) FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
I'm posting this here because it's not clear where else it's okay to put it. I just need to vent and don't need AW responses. There seems to be no filter when talking to my Mom over the phone. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth irritates me. She has a long history of not being a very good Mom so it's not completely coming out of nowhere but omg. A week ago, I screamed at her for not being supportive and never asking how I am as if that's somehow going to change. Instead, she will ask me how I am right when I'm calling her out on her bad behavior. Every phone call is always about her drama and how she is the victim. Everyone else screws her over and she's the innocent dove that needs saving. Trying to schedule a time to talk with her is like trying to get the President on the phone (aint gonna happen; also, I wouldn't want to talk to him, but you feel me).
Then when she finally gets on the phone two days ago, it was to tell me that her phone had 1% battery and can she call me at night. She knows we cannot talk in the evenings because that is my time with my husband. Nobody comes before my alone time with my husband. Then she huffs and puffs a little bit when I remind her of that. But like, who lets their phone go to 1% battery and then gets on the phone to tell someone else that after not answering their calls for a week? I realize how ridiculous of a judgment that sounds after saying it, but you don't know my Mom.
Then yesterday when I finally get her on the phone again, she's driving home and has me on speaker phone. Well, it was at a time where I needed to use speaker phone which makes it hard to hear the other person so I asked her if she could just call me back when she gets home. An hour goes by, no call so I call. As soon as she answers, it's on and on and on about how she fell again and is on her way to urgent care. She is so rattled and in distress that her voice is shaking. This is a pattern with her. Not only the dramatics, sounding like she might die at any moment, but falling. The woman literally falls so many times, I cannot keep track. She's 59. I keep telling her to please ask her Doctor to do a balance evaluation on her because she is going to be 60 soon and will start needing knee and hip replacements, then what will she do. She keeps saying she will and never does it.
I felt bad so I sent her a text last night to ask how she was feeling. No response. I called her. No answer. I text her today. No response. Then she texts me to tell me that she is out sick with a stomach virus and to call her. Yes, she actually texted me to ask me to call her instead of calling me! I call her and ask her what does she mean she is out sick. She says well I have a stomach virus. I'm out with a friend getting a movie and at the grocery store to get some snacks. We're gonna watch a movie. Can I call you tonight? I remind her about night time being off limits. She says well okay then I won't watch a movie with my friend. I'll go home so I can talk to you. I roll my eyes and say No Mom, that's not what I want you to do. Watch your movie and call me later, but just not at night. She knows damn well I'd never respond with Yea, stop everything and go home to talk to me. Also, I called her out on not answering her phone after I called her out on the falling all of the time and not asking the Doctor to evaluate her balance. She claims she didn't see my missed calls, but then I mention how she is glued to her phone all of the time and I know that's not true. She claims she hasn't even been on FB barely, but going to her FB, I can see she posts every 3 minutes. Nobody likes her posts anymore due to her incessant posting and tagging everyone on her friends list every time.
Then she calls me back an hour later to tell me she is in the car and has me on speakerphone, that she's driving to pick up her Mom (btw, her Mom is a malignant Narcissist who now apparently has dementia so she's a changed woman; yea right) because her Mom wants to go to Red Lobster. I said so let me get this straight. You fell last night screaming bloody murder and had to go to the urgent care because it was so bad, you got a stomach virus, and now you're out getting every Tom, Dick, Harry, and Sally sick? Her response was well I told my Mom about it and she says it's okay with her if I'm around her. I said that's not what I said. What about everyone else in public you are giving your stomach virus to? She said well, it's a mild virus. It's only a little bit of diarrhea. I said so it's okay to just go out in public and give everyone else your stomach virus because they will only experience a little bit of diarrhea? She said can we please talk about something else? (That's her usual go to when she is called out on something; wants to pretend it never happened rather than address it) I was like no. We cannot. You judged every Mom when we were kids because they sent their kids to school sick getting everyone else's kids sick and now you're being a hypocrite. You cannot expect me to just keep my mouth shut. So she got off the phone.
I cannot take her shit. I literally have no filter with her nor can I bite my tongue anymore when I talk to her. My sister tells me she knows it's hard and that I just have to walk away from it sometimes. I'm like okay but then I'd never talk to her. It's a like a 24/7 menstrual cycle with her on the phone. I could write an entire newsletter and distribute it once a week through email. This isn't even close to half of the shit she does (I won't share the truly truly F'd up things she has done). She has finally stopped asking to borrow money because my sister and I put a stop to that. One time, years ago, she sent me an email intended for one of her sisters saying, "I hope that (my name) is never able to have children for the shit she has put us through" I've never addressed that with her because she'd just resort to her usual defenses. What kind of a mother wishes that on her daughter? But then she will do all of these sweet things too which makes me feel guilty when I get mad at her.
She never once asked how I was while going through IUI and IVF. She was lazy and didn't try to learn anything about what I was going through to support me. Instead she would say things like, so do you have a baby bump yet literally a week before my scheduled embryo transfer that I already told her about. She actually called me like 8 or so months after my Daddy died to ask me if I thought it was okay if she started dating. Like W.T.F. I told her 1. She shouldn't be asking his daughter this question when it hasn't even been a year, 2. I am not her Mother that she needs to ask my permission, and 3. I am not her girlfriend. Then I gave her a list of names of adults who are supposedly her friends that she can go ask the question of. And God bless my Daddy! She drove him bat shit crazy!! Okay I need to be done with this ranting session. It was recognizable to me years ago that she probably has a personality disorder. It's probably time I accept that I'll never get an actual Mom and stop feeling guilty for the justified resentment I have towards her. It's time to move away from her emotionally again and protect my heart. Thank God I had therapy for this years ago so I know how to deal with it, but good grief. Sometimes, it piles on top of me and I need to get it out. Thanks for listening.
People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.
How I feel all of the time. My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI Back on Levothyroxine FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 1st Beta on 7dpt 93 2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule. Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017 New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
I have a similar dynamic relationship with my mom. I can count on one hand the number of people in her family and extended family that still talk to her and she of course, doesn't see that she's the problem (not everyone else, like she tends to think). I've had to be the one to call her on her bs the past few years as my siblings don't talk to her. I'm dreading having the conversation with her that I feel is coming where she asks (in a roundabout way) if she can move near us so she can spend more time us and her grands
Me: 31 DH:35 Started TTC in June 2014 Started seeing RE in June 2015 HSG in July 2015 = normal, started Clomid/Ovidrel/IUI cycle in August 2015 Cycle #3 in October afforded 1st month of mature follicles - underwent IUI BFP on 10/27/15 - EDD 7/8/16 DD#1 born on 7/1/16
TTC #2 in September 2018 BFP on 12/2/18 - EDD 8/16/19
Team Green!
I have told some of my classmates because we’re close friends and I’m not drinking so hard to hide. One guy figured it out when I didn’t drink on our winery tour. They’re all soooo excited and it’s sweet.
I upgraded myself to business class for my flight back because this is flight #7 and 8 in the past few weeks. I deserve it and I am excited to sleep.
@suzycupcake hugs. Been there. Everything you said does not sound petty because I have been in similar situations and know just how frustrating it is to deal with those micro situations that are so much more than micro.
@lilmamabebe3 So, turns out I'm joining you officially in the HG club of suckiness. Do you want to have a separate thread? We could just make it a continuous chat since there aren't many of us. I just don't want to debbie downer randoms constantly. But I'm open to ideas.
@WinchesterGirl I’m so sorry!! It really is the worst! I’ll start another thread. I had one but I was the only one so I didn’t keep up with it. Sending all the love.
@suzycupcake I’m sorry, that is really hard. It sounds like you are still really hoping the relationship will change and that you will get something out of it. Could it be that while you are intellectually able to recognize that she is the problem, you are still emotionally taking too much responsibility for what is happening and feeling it is somehow your fault? That is very common with a narcissistic parent. I am not saying to cut her out of your life but have you tried reaching out less and seeing how interacting less with her feels?
First sandwich in about 11 months did not disappoint. (1st attempt at homemade bread was fairly successful....a gluten free recipe that's also egg free was so hard to find that I subbed the eggs out. It was ok, but a bit sweet and dense so im still on the hunt for a sandwich bread recipe, but it was ok to start....). Topped with margarine, spiced peach jam, cucumber, apple, and roasted pork. I think I'll do the same tomorrow plus bacon. *drool*
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
Hey everyone! I had introduced myself back when the group started and I want to apologize for not being more active over the past month. I have been having a lot of medical complications and have needed to take a step back for a bit. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, which is an autoimmune disease that effects the thyroid. That came with a world of difficult symptoms for me. I have also been dealing with some palpitations resulting in me having to see a cardiologist and having a slew of testing. And the last big issue has been my gallbladder. I started having pain on and off from it a couple weeks ago and the pain got really bad for a bit.
I am actually in a much better place medically now. My thyroid levels are closer to normal with some medication adjustments, my palpitations have slowed down with the help of another medication, and my gallbladder pain has been better with a new lean diet.
I got to see MFM on Friday and she helped make some plans for how to handle all of this going forward and I may need to have surgery between 16 and 20 weeks which is scary, but otherwise I’m doing better and my mental health is much better than it was. I hope everything is going well for you all and I plan to really get caught up this week!
@cmessamore. Wow!! That's a lot. Glad you are getting things under control, and it sounds like you have a great team of doctors in your corner. Best wishes for a smooth rest of the pregnancy.
I know every experience is different, and I'm not dealing with anywhere near as much as you are. but I wanted to let you know I also have hashimotos. I have a great endocrinologist, and as long as I keep taking my medicine, I've been good. My levels were closely monitored through my last 2 pregnancies, and both my boys are healthy.
@mrosek91 thank you so much! I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism last summer when my TSH was 59! Since then, my thyroid has been a pain in my bum! The official Hashimoto’s diagnosis came almost two weeks ago now and my TSH is still a little high and my antibodies are crazy high. We have to increase my levothyroxine slowly, because every time they increase it, the palpitations come back and my cardiologist is not a fan of that. I just worry about possible side effects on the baby, so I’m doing everything the doctors say and hoping for the best. This will be my 5th baby and the first while dealing with all this crap.
Welcome back @cmessamore! Happy to hear that all is okay again. Sorry that it has been so rough. Did they say when they'd know if you'll need surgery or not?
People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.
How I feel all of the time. My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI Back on Levothyroxine FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 1st Beta on 7dpt 93 2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule. Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017 New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
Welcome back @cmessamore! I also have hashimoto’s. I was diagnosed over the summer and have been keeping an eye on it since then. It can be had to find the right dose! Good luck!
also, for those that did Counsyl / myriad (yes I’m still fucking on this I’m sorry) what time of day did you get your results and were there available online? I’m EST and I know they are PST. Any other updates have happened at 7pm but it’s been in clinical processing since Friday night and says my results will be available tomorrow. Just trying to give my anxious brain an idea of when they’ll come back.
Pregnancy is eating 3.5/4 of the popcorn bag and being upset when your partner eats the rest without sharing.
People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.
How I feel all of the time. My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI Back on Levothyroxine FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 1st Beta on 7dpt 93 2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule. Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017 New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
When should I stop sleeping/laying on my back? How do you use your phone when not laying on your back? How do I get my husband to give me foot massages not laying on my back? 😩😩 I don’t like this not laying on my back thing.
@AKuzReve I think when it becomes uncomfortable to lie on your back. I've stopped lung on my tummy because it's uncomfortable now. Definitely still lie on my back though. As for foot massages, you can either lie on your side and switch sides or prop your back/shoulders up with pillows so you're in a recline position instead of flat on your back when it gets too uncomfortable. Idk if there's an official recommended time for that.
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
The NIH journal seems to suggest not to lie on our backs in the third trimester.
People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.
How I feel all of the time. My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI Back on Levothyroxine FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 1st Beta on 7dpt 93 2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule. Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017 New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
@AKuzReve you are typically safe to lie on your back until it gets uncomfortable. Eventually baby will start to push on you lungs and you cannnot breathe easily on your back. You can lie on your side or lean back on a slight incline with something propped up behind you for being on your phone or getting foot massages.
11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS
10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks 1/12/13 DD was born 4/9/16 DS was born 9/17 CP 6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
@suzycupcake my surgeon would rather me wait until the pregnancy is over, but MFM would rather take it out between 14 and 20 weeks before it becomes a bigger problem and the risk of the procedure gets worse as the uterus expands. We’re going with, if I have any more pain between now and 20 weeks, it’s coming out. If I don’t have any more pain, we leave it in until I have the baby then it comes out.
@lilmamabebe3 it’s actually comforting to hear about other moms with hashis. My mom has lupus and Raynauds (both autoimmune), so I knew I had a higher risk of getting an autoimmune disease someday, but this timing stinks! I’m up to 88mcg on Levo and her goal for me is between 100 and 150 because my thyroid no longer works at all and I need to replace all the hormone. Although, I’m really curious about the other medication options out there! (I wouldn’t switch until after baby comes, but a natural version would make me much happier).
@BigBadWolf12 that sandwich looks amazing!! I'm so glad your first foray into GF bread was fairly successful
@AKuzReve with my last pregnancy all I wanted was to sleep on your back. Your body will tell you when you need to shift to your side. Also one hack I used was putting a pregnancy pillow under one side so I was slightly tilted but mostly on my back. andplusalso another option is sleeping slightly propped up.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@AKuzReve I'm such a stomach sleeper. With my son I barely got used to sleeping on my back by the time it was time for only side sleeping. It was rough until I got a U shaped body pillow which helped considerably (I mean, I still turned over every 1.5-2 hours and had to pee almost as often, but at least I didn't have to rearrange my pillows each time. And if I shoved one strand of the U really tight against my back I could kind of lean on an angle so the weight wasnt square on my hips and I almost felt like I was sleeping on my back.)
Interestingly, PP I have a more diverse sleep position repertoire lol. I didn't go back to only stomach sleeping (though waiting for my c section scars to heal a bit before being able to go back to stomach sleeping was salt on the wound haha)
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
If you are nursing you likely will be uncomfortable stomach sleeping PP too, I'm sorry to say. Engorgement at first and leaking make that a difficult position.
Good point, @WinchesterGirl !! I thought there was something post-cs healing that prevented me from tummy sleeping but couldn't remember. Boobs. That was it 😂
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@olivemomma@WinchesterGirl@BigBadWolf12 It's funny, it was the opposite for me. I was always a side sleeper. With cups that were F or G depending on the bra, it was very uncomfortable to sleep face down. Starting a few months after nursing I tummy sleep all the time, I'm still mostly a side sleeper, but tummy isn't uncomfortable anymore. Is it possible that I just got used to my boobs never being comfortable, and am now numb to the pain of tummy sleeping, maybe.
Re: Weekly Randoms, 1/21
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Also, when the bump fled to proboards a few years ago, a bunch of lurkers came out of the woodwork talking about how much they loved us and knew us and had been following us for years and it was creepy as shit. We talked so much shit about how weird it was in our facebook group and proboards never really stuck because of it. It's weird. Pitch in or go away.
@thirdtimesacharm2019 - Yes! My vitamins, you have to take 6 (they're gummies), so ALWAYS read the label about the correct dose.
@lilmamabebe3 - That is so sweet and I'm also in agreement with Amazon GC and a little note. That is so thoughtful and definitely makes your life easier. I have a sneaking suspicion that the award might bring unwanted attention to the fact they they *are* willing to go above and beyond and might get taken advantage of by less-than-thankful co-workers.
Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count
IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM
IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice
FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil)
ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day)
FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok)
FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
I'm posting this here because it's not clear where else it's okay to put it. I just need to vent and don't need AW responses. There seems to be no filter when talking to my Mom over the phone. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth irritates me. She has a long history of not being a very good Mom so it's not completely coming out of nowhere but omg. A week ago, I screamed at her for not being supportive and never asking how I am as if that's somehow going to change. Instead, she will ask me how I am right when I'm calling her out on her bad behavior. Every phone call is always about her drama and how she is the victim. Everyone else screws her over and she's the innocent dove that needs saving. Trying to schedule a time to talk with her is like trying to get the President on the phone (aint gonna happen; also, I wouldn't want to talk to him, but you feel me).
Then when she finally gets on the phone two days ago, it was to tell me that her phone had 1% battery and can she call me at night. She knows we cannot talk in the evenings because that is my time with my husband. Nobody comes before my alone time with my husband. Then she huffs and puffs a little bit when I remind her of that. But like, who lets their phone go to 1% battery and then gets on the phone to tell someone else that after not answering their calls for a week? I realize how ridiculous of a judgment that sounds after saying it, but you don't know my Mom.
Then yesterday when I finally get her on the phone again, she's driving home and has me on speaker phone. Well, it was at a time where I needed to use speaker phone which makes it hard to hear the other person so I asked her if she could just call me back when she gets home. An hour goes by, no call so I call. As soon as she answers, it's on and on and on about how she fell again and is on her way to urgent care. She is so rattled and in distress that her voice is shaking. This is a pattern with her. Not only the dramatics, sounding like she might die at any moment, but falling. The woman literally falls so many times, I cannot keep track. She's 59. I keep telling her to please ask her Doctor to do a balance evaluation on her because she is going to be 60 soon and will start needing knee and hip replacements, then what will she do. She keeps saying she will and never does it.
I felt bad so I sent her a text last night to ask how she was feeling. No response. I called her. No answer. I text her today. No response. Then she texts me to tell me that she is out sick with a stomach virus and to call her. Yes, she actually texted me to ask me to call her instead of calling me! I call her and ask her what does she mean she is out sick. She says well I have a stomach virus. I'm out with a friend getting a movie and at the grocery store to get some snacks. We're gonna watch a movie. Can I call you tonight? I remind her about night time being off limits. She says well okay then I won't watch a movie with my friend. I'll go home so I can talk to you. I roll my eyes and say No Mom, that's not what I want you to do. Watch your movie and call me later, but just not at night. She knows damn well I'd never respond with Yea, stop everything and go home to talk to me. Also, I called her out on not answering her phone after I called her out on the falling all of the time and not asking the Doctor to evaluate her balance. She claims she didn't see my missed calls, but then I mention how she is glued to her phone all of the time and I know that's not true. She claims she hasn't even been on FB barely, but going to her FB, I can see she posts every 3 minutes. Nobody likes her posts anymore due to her incessant posting and tagging everyone on her friends list every time.
Then she calls me back an hour later to tell me she is in the car and has me on speakerphone, that she's driving to pick up her Mom (btw, her Mom is a malignant Narcissist who now apparently has dementia so she's a changed woman; yea right) because her Mom wants to go to Red Lobster. I said so let me get this straight. You fell last night screaming bloody murder and had to go to the urgent care because it was so bad, you got a stomach virus, and now you're out getting every Tom, Dick, Harry, and Sally sick? Her response was well I told my Mom about it and she says it's okay with her if I'm around her. I said that's not what I said. What about everyone else in public you are giving your stomach virus to? She said well, it's a mild virus. It's only a little bit of diarrhea. I said so it's okay to just go out in public and give everyone else your stomach virus because they will only experience a little bit of diarrhea? She said can we please talk about something else? (That's her usual go to when she is called out on something; wants to pretend it never happened rather than address it) I was like no. We cannot. You judged every Mom when we were kids because they sent their kids to school sick getting everyone else's kids sick and now you're being a hypocrite. You cannot expect me to just keep my mouth shut. So she got off the phone.
I cannot take her shit. I literally have no filter with her nor can I bite my tongue anymore when I talk to her. My sister tells me she knows it's hard and that I just have to walk away from it sometimes. I'm like okay but then I'd never talk to her. It's a like a 24/7 menstrual cycle with her on the phone. I could write an entire newsletter and distribute it once a week through email. This isn't even close to half of the shit she does (I won't share the truly truly F'd up things she has done). She has finally stopped asking to borrow money because my sister and I put a stop to that. One time, years ago, she sent me an email intended for one of her sisters saying, "I hope that (my name) is never able to have children for the shit she has put us through" I've never addressed that with her because she'd just resort to her usual defenses. What kind of a mother wishes that on her daughter? But then she will do all of these sweet things too which makes me feel guilty when I get mad at her.
She never once asked how I was while going through IUI and IVF. She was lazy and didn't try to learn anything about what I was going through to support me. Instead she would say things like, so do you have a baby bump yet literally a week before my scheduled embryo transfer that I already told her about. She actually called me like 8 or so months after my Daddy died to ask me if I thought it was okay if she started dating. Like W.T.F. I told her 1. She shouldn't be asking his daughter this question when it hasn't even been a year, 2. I am not her Mother that she needs to ask my permission, and 3. I am not her girlfriend. Then I gave her a list of names of adults who are supposedly her friends that she can go ask the question of. And God bless my Daddy! She drove him bat shit crazy!! Okay I need to be done with this ranting session. It was recognizable to me years ago that she probably has a personality disorder. It's probably time I accept that I'll never get an actual Mom and stop feeling guilty for the justified resentment I have towards her. It's time to move away from her emotionally again and protect my heart. Thank God I had therapy for this years ago so I know how to deal with it, but good grief. Sometimes, it piles on top of me and I need to get it out. Thanks for listening.
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
I have a similar dynamic relationship with my mom. I can count on one hand the number of people in her family and extended family that still talk to her and she of course, doesn't see that she's the problem (not everyone else, like she tends to think). I've had to be the one to call her on her bs the past few years as my siblings don't talk to her. I'm dreading having the conversation with her that I feel is coming where she asks (in a roundabout way) if she can move near us so she can spend more time us and her grands
Started TTC in June 2014
Started seeing RE in June 2015
HSG in July 2015 = normal, started Clomid/Ovidrel/IUI cycle in August 2015
Cycle #3 in October afforded 1st month of mature follicles - underwent IUI
BFP on 10/27/15 - EDD 7/8/16
DD#1 born on 7/1/16
TTC #2 in September 2018
BFP on 12/2/18 - EDD 8/16/19
Team Green!
I upgraded myself to business class for my flight back because this is flight #7 and 8 in the past few weeks. I deserve it and I am excited to sleep.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@lilmamabebe3 So, turns out I'm joining you officially in the HG club of suckiness. Do you want to have a separate thread? We could just make it a continuous chat since there aren't many of us. I just don't want to debbie downer randoms constantly. But I'm open to ideas.
Also I’m just going to leave this here .... https://www.google.com/amp/s/abcnews.go.com/amp/Lifestyle/signs-time-cut-toxic-family-ties/story%3fid=27278012
First sandwich in about 11 months did not disappoint. (1st attempt at homemade bread was fairly successful....a gluten free recipe that's also egg free was so hard to find that I subbed the eggs out. It was ok, but a bit sweet and dense so im still on the hunt for a sandwich bread recipe, but it was ok to start....). Topped with margarine, spiced peach jam, cucumber, apple, and roasted pork. I think I'll do the same tomorrow plus bacon. *drool*
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
I am actually in a much better place medically now. My thyroid levels are closer to normal with some medication adjustments, my palpitations have slowed down with the help of another medication, and my gallbladder pain has been better with a new lean diet.
I got to see MFM on Friday and she helped make some plans for how to handle all of this going forward and I may need to have surgery between 16 and 20 weeks which is scary, but otherwise I’m doing better and my mental health is much better than it was. I hope everything is going well for you all and I plan to really get caught up this week!
I know every experience is different, and I'm not dealing with anywhere near as much as you are. but I wanted to let you know I also have hashimotos. I have a great endocrinologist, and as long as I keep taking my medicine, I've been good. My levels were closely monitored through my last 2 pregnancies, and both my boys are healthy.
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
Welcome back @cmessamore.
also, for those that did Counsyl / myriad (yes I’m still fucking on this I’m sorry) what time of day did you get your results and were there available online? I’m EST and I know they are PST. Any other updates have happened at 7pm but it’s been in clinical processing since Friday night and says my results will be available tomorrow. Just trying to give my anxious brain an idea of when they’ll come back.
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
https://www.thebump.com/news/back-sleeping-pregnancy-changes-babys-movement
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5309362/
The NIH journal seems to suggest not to lie on our backs in the third trimester.
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
@suzycupcake, I will definitely have to read those articles.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@suzycupcake my surgeon would rather me wait until the pregnancy is over, but MFM would rather take it out between 14 and 20 weeks before it becomes a bigger problem and the risk of the procedure gets worse as the uterus expands. We’re going with, if I have any more pain between now and 20 weeks, it’s coming out. If I don’t have any more pain, we leave it in until I have the baby then it comes out.
@lilmamabebe3 it’s actually comforting to hear about other moms with hashis. My mom has lupus and Raynauds (both autoimmune), so I knew I had a higher risk of getting an autoimmune disease someday, but this timing stinks! I’m up to 88mcg on Levo and her goal for me is between 100 and 150 because my thyroid no longer works at all and I need to replace all the hormone. Although, I’m really curious about the other medication options out there! (I wouldn’t switch until after baby comes, but a natural version would make me much happier).
@AKuzReve with my last pregnancy all I wanted was to sleep on your back. Your body will tell you when you need to shift to your side. Also one hack I used was putting a pregnancy pillow under one side so I was slightly tilted but mostly on my back. andplusalso another option is sleeping slightly propped up.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Interestingly, PP I have a more diverse sleep position repertoire lol. I didn't go back to only stomach sleeping (though waiting for my c section scars to heal a bit before being able to go back to stomach sleeping was salt on the wound haha)
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@suzycupcake I’m obsessed with popcorn so that’s me every day!!
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17