Homebirth / birth center / unmedicated birth - m/o January

mrosek91 · January 2019

@suzycupcake It probably depends on the Doula and the area. But with my first I was due in March and I didn't reach out to her until January. I plan on using the same doula again, and will probably reach out to her earlier just to make sure I get her. (I think last time, I reached out in my 6th month) But I think she usually books about 3 months out. Did you ask the doulas you spoke with whether they have a date they need a commitment by?
As to whether she's given birth herself, I know a lot of male OB's out there... In my mind the purpose of a doula is provide support and encouragement, and be your advocate. They don't need personal experience to do that. Do they provide references, so you can call some of their former clients and see if they were happy?
(I should give a caveat that my doula is a mother herself, but her youngest is in her 20s, so I don't know how much she remembers it.)
I also should state that picking a doula is a very personal experience and since they will be with you at a time of very high emotions it is important to have someone you have chemistry with, and can trust. What works for one person, will not work for everyone.

suzycupcake · January 2019

Thanks @olivemomma and @mrosek91 for your insight. I have asked each of them to provide references. So far, 2 out of the 3 have. The 3rd one (whom we interviewed second) concerns me a little. She takes two days to reply to my emails. I know that isn't saying much, but she has supported 95 families in the past 4 years. That seems like an awful lot. I wonder about her ability to support without thinking about the next family she has to get to. But maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

WinchesterGirl · January 2019

I'd be more worried about if you are comfortable personality-wise than if she's given birth herself. Also, how they interact with hospital staff is important. Advocates are awesome, but I personally am not comfortable with a combative atmosphere so that was important for me.

scotia-293 · January 2019

How far along are you?
I am 10 weeks 3 days

What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?
Unmedicated hospital birth, we don't have have birthing centers where I live and I do not have the support system I would need for a home birth. My mil is convinced if i have a home birth both me and baby will die and she is very vocal about it.

FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?
I am a second time mom my first labor was very long and contractions were close together from the very beginning. So by the time I got to the hospital I was on day three without sleep I was delusional and all I wanted to do was sleep so I was given morphine and gravel to help me rest. That was the only drugs I had they were completely worn off well before transition came so even though I had drugs I still have a good idea of what to expect.

GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing?
I want to experience what a fully drug free birth is like. I tend to be more on the natural side for most things. Epidurals scare me. I liked being able to move around during labor. Also everyone said I would get the epidural last pregnancy and I am stubborn and enjoyed proving them wrong. To prepare I will be reviewing natural ways to cope with labor and practicing different labor positions with my husband. I would also love to get a doula if we can find room in the budget.

wabash15 · January 2019

@Resa77063 the shakes post partum are a hormonal shift and have nothing to do with an epidural.
@suzycupcake if she has a lot of experience and you jive with her the fact that she has not actually given birth I don't think would matter to me. We don't ask that our midwifes and OB's have given birth...

suzycupcake · January 2019

Thanks for all of your insight ladies. After sleeping on it, I’ve decided to hire her. She sent the contract. It’s up to me to take the plunge. Not really sure what’s holding me back now. The only thoughts that are popping up are am I being ridiculous and don’t need any of the things I think I need? But when my husband asked why we need one, I was so quick to make him understand why it’s necessary. These are just thoughts. Thanks for letting me vent here through this part of my process.

knottie68eddf71ad69733a · January 2019

How far along? 8 weeks 5 days.

What type of birth?
likely an un medicated hospital birth - this is number three for me and I had that with both of the first two. However, the state of Alabama just issued licenses for midwives to attend birth for the first time in 40 years literally last week, so I’m mulling over the idea of anhomebirth although I really like my OB from #2 and had a great experience that time. We live about 5 min from hospital so if things did go south we’d be very close. But I don’t know.

FTM/STM - guess I am a TTM -third time mom! Both my first two labors were veeeery long and protracted and stop start until the end. but going unmedicated was absolutely one of the best highs of my life with both and I love sharing that with my 10 year old because I want her to have very healthy positive attitudes about birth! I’ve been in physical therapy for a few months for postpartum SI joint issue left over from my 2 year old, and I’m hopeful that all the focus on proper alignment will maybe help things in the labor department. I always felt #2 was situated very strangely.

My forst birth was traumatic in some senses looking back - not the birth itself but the way my OB handled things. She was not supportive and DH basically told her to GTFO. Second birth - different hospital and different OB - was night and day different. And my current OB still tells me when I see her that my toddlers birth was one of her favorite births of all time she attended.

GTKY: I’ve just seen friend after friend end up with a c/s that in all likelihood might not have been needed if docs hadn’t been pushy, inductions that maybe weren’t needed quite yet, etc. watching business of being born sealed the deal for my husband with #1. I just love pregnancy and birth and think it’s beautiful and not something to fear. I e had easy recoveries with both girls though I don’t know any different.

I habent seen my OB yet with this pregnancy - go in about 10 days - and being a little older this time, 36, I dunno I just feel more anxious that everything is ok. I will feel so much better when we see a heartbeat!!!

lala123321567789 · January 2019

@suzycupcake I'm glad you've come to a decision you're happy with.

wiscobabies · January 2019

How far along are you?

10 weeks 1 day

What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?

Water birth, unmedicated hospital

FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?

STM, my son turns one on Saturday! I had an unmedicated water birth with him

GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing?

Side effects from the epidural freak me out, as well as the potential for interventions and unnecessary c sections. I was really happy with how my water birth went, and I’m hoping things go smoothly this time around too. I see a midwife who is completely on board and does a lot of water births so that helps! I’m not doing anything special to prepare but as it gets closer I’ll read birth stories and maybe watch some births on you tube.

suzycupcake · January 2019

Hey @knottie68eddf71ad69733a welcome

If you want, you can change your screen name for The Bump by going here for instructions. This will make it easier for us to tag you. That's so great you are sharing positive stories with your 10 year old. I love you for that! There are too many scary things told to women making birth seem like this completely abnormal and terrifying experience when it doesn't have to be. Not that I've done it yet, but I really do believe that. Good luck at your next appointment. Maybe you'll get to hear a heart beat!

knottie68eddf71ad69733a · January 2019

@suzycupcake, thank you, I thought I had set up a screen name but I guess not!

suzycupcake · January 2019

Ladies! If you want to watch The Business of Being Born on Amazon, there is a Food Matters TV free trial subscription right now for 7 days, so you can watch it for free!

mrosek91 · January 2019

@knottie68eddf71ad69733a you might need to log out and log back in for it to take effect. Once it does it will update even the places you already posted.

Want a personalized experience?

Homebirth / birth center / unmedicated birth - m/o January

Re: Homebirth / birth center / unmedicated birth - m/o January

Choose Another Board

Search Boards