@mccurleya and everything they do they need praise for. I am so sorry that’s happening to you. The balancing act as a mom is so hard when the other parent isn’t contributing. I really think they are just wired to think about themselves. They don’t have the pull that God gave us to our kids and doing stuff for them. They also don’t seem to see how much we do and give up for kids. My husband loves our kids but chooses himself and his wants and needs more than time with them. The first baby is the hardest. My husband didn’t want to change anything in his life to accommodate the baby. He was addicted to a computer game at that time and in Chiropractic school- neither of which made any time to help with anything outside of them. I basically raised my oldest by myself because he couldn’t see past his computer screen at that time.
Mine can't see past his phone. It's ridiculous. We have company this weekend so I told him next Saturday he's getting up at 4:30 with Nate and I get to sleep in. We'll see if that plays out
So I just met my new doctor and she informed me that the birth control I'm on is an estrogen based pill when my old doctor told me she was giving me an estrogen free pill for breastfeeding. And that's why my milk dried up. I'm a little peeved.
So I just met my new doctor and she informed me that the birth control I'm on is an estrogen based pill when my old doctor told me she was giving me an estrogen free pill for breastfeeding. And that's why my milk dried up. I'm a little peeved.
@mccurleya Holy shit, I'd be furious! I'm sorry that happened to you. Did they think the estrogen could be related to those cramps that were concerning you too?
So, I'm officially 28 weeks into this pregnancy and I'm thinking about changing ob's. Anyone had that experience this late in the game?
We moved in April, so I had found an ob near our new home who came pretty well recommended (and is one of a very small number of doctors who take my insurance near my new town). I liked him well enough - he seemed very laid back, which was okay, and our appointments were always fast, which I chalked up to the fact that I was just pregnant so recently - I didn't have any questions, I knew what I was experiencing was normal, etc. This office also does an ultrasound at essentially every appointment, so while I wasn't getting much face time with my doctor, I WAS getting a lot with my baby, and let's be honest, I like that!
But. I've had new symptoms (a lot of pain following sex, regular Braxton Hicks, etc.) that aren't unbearable or out of the norm, but worry me. And when I brought them up to my doctor, I got a lot of "It's fine, it's normal" - he didn't even mark them in my chart or discuss them further. Then during the ultrasound at my last (28 week) appointment, they found that baby's abdomen is measuring small. I asked questions, but got a lot of "It's nothing to worry about" with no justification as to why, and when I would push further, the doctor would go on a tangent that made me lose my train of thought. He told me we'd keep an eye on it and not to come back for four weeks. I got in the car and did my research (basically, could be nothing, could be something not so serious, could be something serious - up until 34 weeks, it's really all just about keeping an eye on it) and called my doctor back for some specific figures (her belly is measuring in the 4th percentile when 10th is considered the threshold for normal; her weight seems to be right; her doppler readings are all strong, which is a better indication of her getting the nutrition she needs). I called today and had them move my appointment up - I'm used to be seeing at least every 2 weeks in the 3rd trimester anyway (isn't that the norm?), we have something to monitor, and Nora was born a month early, so it doesn't make sense for me not to be seen more regularly - and the office staff gave me attitude. I'm just not thrilled with how dismissive he was being. My former ob was very warm: even when she told me I had no reason to worry, she'd explain why and what the worst-case-scenario would be just in case. I don't feel well cared for.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I wanted to see another doctor in my area but he wasn't taking any more patients that were due in April - I'm wondering if it's worth taking the time to call and explain my situation, but then again, this doctor seemed fine the first few months - will I really get an accurate picture of someone new? I could go back to my old ob - I know she'll take me, I know I love her practice, and I know I felt extraordinarily safe delivering at NYU. But the logistics are tricky. Her office is in the hospital, which is at least 45 minutes from work for me. By the time I see her, get to the train, and get home, it would be after 6 - which just makes things tricky from a caring-for-Nora-and-handling-life perspective. NYU is only about 20 miles from my house, but that's 35 minutes with no traffic (no complaints) and upwards of two hours if I find myself having to deliver during rush hour, which scares me. Delivering locally also would make it easier for Nora to come to the hospital and for my husband to leave the hospital to make sure she's feeling good about the transition - it's a lot more complicated if we're in the city.
Gah. Sorry for dumping that all here. I'm sure it will all be fine either way, I'm just stressed about it all. Any advice mamas?
I would do some research and find a new local doctor that'll take you that has great reviews. If you're not comfortable with your current doctor then I would change. It would be stressful for me trying to deliver and not be comfortable.
I would honestly go back to your old OB. They know your history and you have a rapport with her. Plus, she’ll probably do follow up testing to see why the abdomen is small. It’s also interesting that it’s just the abdomen. Makes me kind of think measurements might be off. I would also demand monitoring of your cervix by sono. Internal exams can stimulate.
And, I hate to say this, but if you have pain during sex and they cause contractions, even just Braxton Hicks, I would not have sex. Whether preterm or late preterm, they can have many different outcomes and it’s best to do whatever it takes to get as close to term as possible.
I think its definitely worth a call to the other OB in town! Maybe he'll have an opening now? If not, i would definitely go back to your old provider. Feeling cared for by your provider is important!
@ashtuesday I’m sorry you’re going through this. You need to feel comfortable and that you’re being heard on delievery day too, so i agree with the others to cal l around. I feel like sometimes drs are dismissive because they’ve seen it before or whatever and I know we all know we’re not the first to have a baby or to have symptom xyz BUT this is will be our first and only pregnancy with THIS baby and that matters and we deserve to feel as at ease as possible. I just hate feeling dismissed so I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. The other thing is to call the doctor out on it. (I hope what I’m trying to say came through - not doing to good articulating right now). Hoping it was just an off scan and that everything is ok with the little girl.
@DDRRT1982 love it! It’s funny when they do things that make me think “that’s probably what you were doing in my belly”
Thank you so much, ladies. I was honestly worried that I was overreacting, but hearing that so many of you would look for another doctor makes me feel validated. I'm going to go to my moved-up appointment with my current ob - it's on February 7, which is Nora's birthday. Not ideal timing, but my husband and I are both taking off that day so we'll be able to be there together and the plan is to really voice our concerns and take him to task on specific questions we have before making a real decision - I'm thinking along the same lines as you, @shoretobe. I might call my old ob (and others in my current area) this week to have back-up appointments ready elsewhere if needed.
@DDRRT1982 Apparently just her abdomen measuring small could be a sign she isn't getting the nutrition that she needs. From what I've read, some babies just grow disproportionately and her belly could catch up, or it could be indicative of a problem. The doctor said the fact that all of her other measurements are good (including her estimated weight) and her doppler readings are good, that leads him to believe it's more of a fluke than a real issue right now. But who knows. Also (probably TMI, but I have no other venue for discussing this lol sorry), the pain and contractions are unrelated. The Braxton Hicks come on mostly when I'm rushing - hurrying to catch my train or to get to work from a late train. They don't last long, but I didn't experience them at ALL for Nora, which is why they worry me. The sex pain isn't during sex - no contractions come with it and no bleeding (which I experienced a bit for N). But after sex, I am SO SORE. It feels like I felt the first two weeks after giving birth - like if I stand up too long, all the blood rushes to my lady parts and I feel like if I don't lay down, my vagina is going to fall out of my body. Again, I know that's TMI, sorry! I imagine it's a combination of a) so much more blood flow down there because I'm pregnant b) having had Nora so recently and not being 100% healed from that and c) the fact that I got so many stitches after having Nora and the scar tissue is still new/the muscles are still healing. We've tried everything we (and the internet) can think of to help, but all to no avail. So suffice to say, sex is no longer a very frequent activity in our house
@ashtueaday when I was pregnant with Maeve - she was low and pushing on me so by month 6 I had to wear a brace because my pelvis was separating - pubic symphysis dysfunction (I had to google the name😂). It hurt to stand up and to get in/out of the car and bed - maybe that’s part of what is happening? The baby might be in an odd position for your body. Also, let’s be honest - bodies are weird and amazing in what they do and how they react to things.
I'm out of town this week for work, but hubby is left with 2 sick kiddos. I feel guilty...a little bit, but had to laugh when I got a call asking where the clean bed sheets were and then a call a bit later asking where the prune juice was. Lol! Clearly these are not things he deals with although he's a stay at home dad... moms still have so much more that we do! It'll be good for him, right? 😄
I got back Sunday from 9 days in Mexico, just DH and I, refreshed and feeling like a new person. I read three parenting books that have helped tremendously since my kids haven’t had school and won’t tomorrow because of snow and wind chills. It has made me put things into practice quickly. Declan has started sleeping folded or with his butt in the air lately too.
So LO has had some not so pleasant poops as he is really getting into all the food we are eating now. I caught a wiff of poop so I went to change him. He has gotten so hard to keep still while changing so i usually give him a toy to play with to keep him occupied.
I hand him a stuffed animal and unhooked the diaper and he IMMEDIATELY started to roll over. I tried hard to keep him still and nothing worked. He ended up sitting up facing the opposite direction that I laid him down... guys, there was poop EVERYWHERE! It was all over the wall, the changing pad, him, his clothes, his socks, the dresser, and the stuffed animal. The diaper fell on the floor and got poop on me, the floor, and my chair. I literally put him in the bathtub because there was zero chance of wipes knocking out that mess. SO. MUCH. POOP.
@sgrn18 haha and then you have to figure out how to occupy the clean baby so they don't play with the poop you still have to clean up off the rest of the world! When it's time to change Vinny's diaper and get her dressed, I have to take off my sweater. It's so much work with her wiggling all over the place!
@fatstagnation i ended up putting clean baby in the crib so i could tend to the disaster zone! Lol i was laughing far too much to be cleaning up poop but it was just comical how it got on everything.
@sgrn18 sounds like our house. I no longer change poop diapers without DH holding him down because LO likes to grab himself as soon as the diaper is open and he gets poop on his hands. There's times when DH isn't here and it is a struggle. But that's hilarious
Re: January Randoms
We signed up for baby swim lessons - and they do family swims once in awhile so we got to go with her today. I love that she seems to enjoy it.
The first baby is the hardest. My husband didn’t want to change anything in his life to accommodate the baby. He was addicted to a computer game at that time and in Chiropractic school- neither of which made any time to help with anything outside of them. I basically raised my oldest by myself because he couldn’t see past his computer screen at that time.
We moved in April, so I had found an ob near our new home who came pretty well recommended (and is one of a very small number of doctors who take my insurance near my new town). I liked him well enough - he seemed very laid back, which was okay, and our appointments were always fast, which I chalked up to the fact that I was just pregnant so recently - I didn't have any questions, I knew what I was experiencing was normal, etc. This office also does an ultrasound at essentially every appointment, so while I wasn't getting much face time with my doctor, I WAS getting a lot with my baby, and let's be honest, I like that!
But. I've had new symptoms (a lot of pain following sex, regular Braxton Hicks, etc.) that aren't unbearable or out of the norm, but worry me. And when I brought them up to my doctor, I got a lot of "It's fine, it's normal" - he didn't even mark them in my chart or discuss them further. Then during the ultrasound at my last (28 week) appointment, they found that baby's abdomen is measuring small. I asked questions, but got a lot of "It's nothing to worry about" with no justification as to why, and when I would push further, the doctor would go on a tangent that made me lose my train of thought. He told me we'd keep an eye on it and not to come back for four weeks. I got in the car and did my research (basically, could be nothing, could be something not so serious, could be something serious - up until 34 weeks, it's really all just about keeping an eye on it) and called my doctor back for some specific figures (her belly is measuring in the 4th percentile when 10th is considered the threshold for normal; her weight seems to be right; her doppler readings are all strong, which is a better indication of her getting the nutrition she needs). I called today and had them move my appointment up - I'm used to be seeing at least every 2 weeks in the 3rd trimester anyway (isn't that the norm?), we have something to monitor, and Nora was born a month early, so it doesn't make sense for me not to be seen more regularly - and the office staff gave me attitude. I'm just not thrilled with how dismissive he was being. My former ob was very warm: even when she told me I had no reason to worry, she'd explain why and what the worst-case-scenario would be just in case. I don't feel well cared for.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I wanted to see another doctor in my area but he wasn't taking any more patients that were due in April - I'm wondering if it's worth taking the time to call and explain my situation, but then again, this doctor seemed fine the first few months - will I really get an accurate picture of someone new? I could go back to my old ob - I know she'll take me, I know I love her practice, and I know I felt extraordinarily safe delivering at NYU. But the logistics are tricky. Her office is in the hospital, which is at least 45 minutes from work for me. By the time I see her, get to the train, and get home, it would be after 6 - which just makes things tricky from a caring-for-Nora-and-handling-life perspective. NYU is only about 20 miles from my house, but that's 35 minutes with no traffic (no complaints) and upwards of two hours if I find myself having to deliver during rush hour, which scares me. Delivering locally also would make it easier for Nora to come to the hospital and for my husband to leave the hospital to make sure she's feeling good about the transition - it's a lot more complicated if we're in the city.
Gah. Sorry for dumping that all here. I'm sure it will all be fine either way, I'm just stressed about it all. Any advice mamas?
And, I hate to say this, but if you have pain during sex and they cause contractions, even just Braxton Hicks, I would not have sex. Whether preterm or late preterm, they can have many different outcomes and it’s best to do whatever it takes to get as close to term as possible.
@DDRRT1982 that is adorable!!!
I feel like sometimes drs are dismissive because they’ve seen it before or whatever and I know we all know we’re not the first to have a baby or to have symptom xyz BUT this is will be our first and only pregnancy with THIS baby and that matters and we deserve to feel as at ease as possible. I just hate feeling dismissed so I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. The other thing is to call the doctor out on it. (I hope what I’m trying to say came through - not doing to good articulating right now).
Hoping it was just an off scan and that everything is ok with the little girl.
@DDRRT1982 love it! It’s funny when they do things that make me think “that’s probably what you were doing in my belly”
@DDRRT1982 Apparently just her abdomen measuring small could be a sign she isn't getting the nutrition that she needs. From what I've read, some babies just grow disproportionately and her belly could catch up, or it could be indicative of a problem. The doctor said the fact that all of her other measurements are good (including her estimated weight) and her doppler readings are good, that leads him to believe it's more of a fluke than a real issue right now. But who knows. Also (probably TMI, but I have no other venue for discussing this lol sorry), the pain and contractions are unrelated. The Braxton Hicks come on mostly when I'm rushing - hurrying to catch my train or to get to work from a late train. They don't last long, but I didn't experience them at ALL for Nora, which is why they worry me. The sex pain isn't during sex - no contractions come with it and no bleeding (which I experienced a bit for N). But after sex, I am SO SORE. It feels like I felt the first two weeks after giving birth - like if I stand up too long, all the blood rushes to my lady parts and I feel like if I don't lay down, my vagina is going to fall out of my body. Again, I know that's TMI, sorry! I imagine it's a combination of a) so much more blood flow down there because I'm pregnant b) having had Nora so recently and not being 100% healed from that and c) the fact that I got so many stitches after having Nora and the scar tissue is still new/the muscles are still healing. We've tried everything we (and the internet) can think of to help, but all to no avail. So suffice to say, sex is no longer a very frequent activity in our house
Im hopefully the 7th goes really well for you!
hahaha
Declan has started sleeping folded or with his butt in the air lately too.
So LO has had some not so pleasant poops as he is really getting into all the food we are eating now. I caught a wiff of poop so I went to change him. He has gotten so hard to keep still while changing so i usually give him a toy to play with to keep him occupied.
I hand him a stuffed animal and unhooked the diaper and he IMMEDIATELY started to roll over. I tried hard to keep him still and nothing worked. He ended up sitting up facing the opposite direction that I laid him down... guys, there was poop EVERYWHERE! It was all over the wall, the changing pad, him, his clothes, his socks, the dresser, and the stuffed animal. The diaper fell on the floor and got poop on me, the floor, and my chair. I literally put him in the bathtub because there was zero chance of wipes knocking out that mess. SO. MUCH. POOP.
When it's time to change Vinny's diaper and get her dressed, I have to take off my sweater. It's so much work with her wiggling all over the place!
@megpeg glad you had a good time!