I know we have discussed this in a few threads but I thought it would be helpful to have it in one place.
1) Are you planning to have your older kid(s) visit you and baby at the hospital? How soon after birth?
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home?
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling?
4) Advice from the BTDT moms?
Me: 30 DH: 31
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016
| BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
Re: STM+ Question: Plan for Older Kiddos
My parents are going to stay at our house while I’m at the hospital because they live out of town. So DD will go back the house with them at night.
DD has picked out a gift for LO and I just purchsed a matching onsie and T-shirt to give DD when she meets LO, as her gift.
She will come meet her sister in the hospital, likely with DH. I’m hoping to get a shortened recovery stay since my hospital allows that for STM’s without complications, but it depends on how GD effects is both.
No real plans for a sibling gift. Maybe if I see something cute I’ll get them matching pj’s or something. So far we’ve been reading a lot of books and I have been doing a lot of reading on the topic as well. I plan to make sure that I am not holding the baby when she arrives so that I can properly greet her when she sees me for the first time after not seeing me for a day or so.
I know my in-laws would be happy to keep DS overnight, but depending on when baby arrives and how we're doing, I may encourage DH to go home (grandparents are amazing, but they stink at keeping DS on a good schedule and we have sleep issues for several days after any overnight visits with his grandparents. Which I figure we'll already be facing with a new baby, so if I can avoid making it worse...). Definitely a game-time decisions for DH and I.
Yes, planning to do something little - probably a book or puzzle and matching pjs. We're actually planning to go pick out a stuffed animal as a family for baby (DH and I got DS his first stuffed animal as we were looking at baby furniture, and want to continue the tradition).
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home?
My my parents are coming to my house to be with my son.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling?
Yes. At the moment he’s obsessed with cows, so he’ll be getting a stuffed cow.
4) Advice from the BTDT moms?
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home? DH will probably stay at the hospital with me the first night but he will need to go home for the next few nights. I'm having another c section and while we are very lucky to have family nearby to help, we want the boys to stick to a normal routine as much as possible. Honestly I am looking forward to a night or two of quiet time with the baby alone.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling? I haven't gotten this far but I def plan to have some new activities on hand for the hospital and home for them to do while I'm nursing. I think if I call it a gift from the baby, they will love it and think it's extra special! Nothing crazy though... Probably a new coloring book, stickers, etc.
4) Advice from the BTDT moms? What works for someone else might not be what's best for your family. Sticking to a routine (sleeping at home in their own beds, Daddy being home at night after school for dinner, etc) is important for us because I want them to welcome their brother and not see him as an invader messing up their life (I'm nervous about my two year old!!).
DS will be with us until my in-laws can come get him at the hospital. Unless we have time to drop him off on the way. They will bring him to meet his brother depending on what time I end up delivering. I’m planning to keep LO in his crib when DS1 comes in so I can focus on greeting him and having a family picture up in our room so he knows he’s included.
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home?
DS is staying with my in-laws while we are in the hospital. I’m sure they will bring him to visit throughout our stay. The hospital is
20 mins from their house. I am hoping that DH can stay with me to help me with post partum because I had such a rough one last time with my allergic reactions. I’m hoping that he can help me advocate for myself if things seem off again.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling?
Yes we need to get on this. I want to have a gift for DS1 to bring with him to give the baby and something from the baby to give to him.
4) Advice from the BTDT moms?
Yep, but only for an hour or so... DS is 3 and has a language delay and some social/ emotional challenges so I’m worried the hospital setting will upset him. He doesn’t understand really about the new baby and keeps telling me I’m sick and need to go to the doctor because my tummy hurts I will wait until I’ve had a little time to rest and then send MH to get him and bring him to the hospital to meet his brother.
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home?
My mom will be staying at our house while I’m in the hospital. I plan on making her a schedule but I doubt she’ll stick to the bedtime, she never does. She can take him to preschool/ therapy though, depending on when the baby comes (he might be on spring break)! If we’re doing ok I might send MH home to sleep with DS, I think that would make him feel better since he sleeps in our bed and isn’t used to being without me.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling?
Yep. A smallish toy from the new baby to DS. Maybe Everest from paw patrol (the only dog he’s missing.. insert eye roll). I also put away a bunch of toys at Christmas to pull out for DS to help keep him occupied and cut down on the jealousy I’m anticipating.
& I might get these in green since I’m due two days before st. Pats and DS1 was a week early!
My daughter is a total daddy’s girl, so depending on how things go and how long we are stuck in the hospital, I will probably suggest that he go home for dinner and bedtime at night.
We we will plan to have my daughter come to the hospital to meet baby brother, and she will get a special baby doll from the baby.
@meggyme Nice idea with not holding the baby when she first comes to visit. I think that will help a lot with mine.
The ILs are planning to stay overnight and then we'll play it by ear for DH. If things are going well I might feel okay sending him home but it just depends. DS loves my ILs and they take care of him during the week already so I think they should be fine. We also have a trial run / babymoon planned for this weekend to see how an overnight goes.
I hadn't thought about gifts but maybe something small for DS from the baby would be nice. I also like the idea of him bringing something for the baby. I want to try to build that bond and make the transition a little easier. Right now he has no clue what is coming and I know it's going to be hard for him to share me with anyone.
My mom will probably bring her to the birth center after the baby is born. My birth center has a blanket policy that no one else is allowed in until one hour post birth. With my daughter, my placenta just wasn't coming and didn't deliver until 55 minutes after anyway! So it will be soon after, but not until I'm stable and cleaned up. Hopefully, my mom will bring her and then H will actually bring her into the room first.
At a birth center, at least in my state, the required stay is three hours minimum. And most of that is taken up with eating a meal, getting baby feeding and checked, stitching me up, etc. With my daughter, we left about 3.5 hours after. Hopefully, the same will happen with this baby. So no overnight stay except if I go into labor overnight.
No gifts either to or from the baby.
1) Are you planning to have your older kid(s) visit you and baby at the hospital? How soon after birth? Ideally not attending the birth, and just coming to visit once the baby is born.
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home? It highly depends on when the baby decides to come. If it's after 39.5 weeks, then my MIL is going to be here, so we'll be able to focus on the baby. If it's before that, we're planning to hire a sibling doula to be on call. Worst case, we'll ask our neighbors, but I feel like it's too much to ask them to be on alert all the time, especially with 2 kids of their own. DH will only go home at night if we can't find anyone else to watch DS. Lots of unknowns, and that's what makes me so worried.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling? Yes, a box of magformers. One more thing to keep him occupied
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home? Depends on a lot of factors. I have one friend who could stay overnight with DS but she travels a lot, so that will depend if she's in town or not. I'm actually thinking about buying MIL a plane ticket to come up right around my due date and seeing if she'll stay a couple weeks. She has friends in the area she can stay with until it's go time, and she does hospice care as a career so she'll actually be helpful. My mom is too forgetful and anxious, I want her to come up but not in the immediate aftermath of giving birth. But if neither of those options works out I'll send DH home.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling? I hadn't thought about this, honestly.
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home? MH will go home every night. Our girls' nanny will be there with them during the day, but he went home every night when I had DD2 and it really worked out better that way (he tried to sleep at the hospital when I had DD1 and we were both miserable because neither of us got any sleep!).
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling? We got DD1 a baby of her own when DD2 was born, and I may do that again this time around for both girls (though DD1 is unlikely to be distracted by a doll this time, she is SO excited for this baby!). I love @meggyme 's idea about the matching pajamas. The girls are VERY into matching right now, so that may be a hit.
4) Only other advice I have, which was said previously, is to not be holding the new baby when your younger kids come to visit. I also made sure that I was sitting in a chair and not the hospital bed when DD1 came to visit, the bed kind of freaked her out and the chair in the room seemed much more normal! I also let DD1 take the lead on introducing herself to the baby when she was ready (which meant we snuggled on the chair for a few minutes, first, and then she realized there was a baby there and she wanted to check her out!).
DS is 9 so i feel he is definitely old enough to come to the hospital after the baby gets here. Right now i have a scheduled c section, so i'm sure he will probably end up in the waiting area with either my sister or my mom while me and SO are in surgery.
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home? most likely my son will stay with my mom while we are in the hospital, luckily she is retired so that helps with being able to get him to school. im sure it will be a team effort and all hands on deck will make sure he gets back and forth while we are in the hospital.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling? nope. he's old enough to know it won't be from the baby LOL, and he's so excited about her getting her, funny enough i think he will consider HER the gift.
4) Advice from the BTDT moms? n/a
I'm hoping my daughter will be excited and happy about the baby. Most people I know who have close age gaps (two years or so) say that is the case, so hopefully! I ask my daughter where our baby is and she'll pat my belly, but I'm not sure how much she actually understands
- I am having a planned c section, our son will go to school as normal and then come straight to the hospital if baby girl is born. Its the plan that he will be the first to meet her aside from my husband and I.
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home?
- My husband will likely stay with me the first night, and go home the next night. We live 10 maybe 15 mins from the hospital.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling?
- Thats something we still need to discuss. If we get a gift it won’t be from baby. I think our son is old enough to know that it is truly us giving him a gift.
4) Advice from the BTDT moms?
- sorry what is BTDT?
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
1) Are you planning to have your older kid(s) visit you and baby at the hospital? How soon after birth? Ideally she will be the first one to meet baby (besides me and DH) but I’m concerned about timing - my RCS is scheduled for noon which is when she gets picked up and brought home for nap. My MIL can be overbearing when it comes to babies and I don’t think there will be any convincing her that she needs to wait until after DD, especially if there are hours between birth and when DD comes to the hospital. Hopefully she can get her from school, put her down for a nice nap, and then bring her to visit a few hours after surgery. AND not be upset about it
Anyone keeping their kids home from daycare leading up to birth/ during newborn phase (maternity leave)?
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home? Planning for in-laws to keep her overnight and hoping I get to go home after 2 nights like I did with DD, but might play it by ear and send DH home after the first night.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling? Undecided on this, I feel like it’s something the internet is telling me to do but not something I really care about. DD has dolls out the ying yang and way too many toys and has only attached to 1.5 toys (full time bear and a sometimes favorite baby). I saw a cute “big sister bracelet” but not sure she is quite old enough for that.
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
I'm also kind of undecided about daycare during my maternity leave. We will probably keep DD1 in daycare for a couple weeks just to keep her routine somewhat normal and give us a couple weeks to get used to being a family of 4, but especially if I decide to take a longer maternity leave (in the event I'm not returning to my same company and can afford a fourth month of unpaid leave) we would likely pull DD1 out of daycare until after we move and get settled in again.
And we are planning to keep DS home at least for the first 2 months until baby’s had the first round of shots. I don’t have any paid time off and DH has paternity leave, so it didn’t make sense to pay for day care and risk the inevitable sickness.
https://www.carters.com/carters-baby-boy-one-piece-sleep-and-play/192135521298.html
https://www.carters.com/carters-toddler-girl-4-piece-pajamas/192135486498.html
I will have my husbands help for the first month, then be alone with the kids for 2 more months while he goes back to work. I am completely terrified of juggling two kids alone and packing/moving at the same time, especially with the possibility of recovering from c section at the same time. But it’s the best thing for our family, and I am secretly looking forward to having my 3 year old full time. I miss her when she is in daycare all week!
I’m honestly not 100% sure about this. I think I will want to see DD and want her to meet the baby ASAP, but I don’t especially want to see my in-laws right after I’ve given birth. They can be a bit overwhelming and I worry they’ll “ruin” our family moment where DD meets her sister. With DD’s birth we had no family around so it was just the three of us at the hospital for 2 days and it was kind of special. Plus I had a rough recovery and didn’t feel like seeing anyone other than DH. This time around we live near my in-laws and they will be watching DD so if she comes to meet baby, obviously they do too. I’ll be in the hospital 1-2 nights so a hospital visit may be unavoidable.
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home?
DD will stay with my in-laws. As much as I’d like her to be in her own house, I’m going to ask my in-laws to take her to their house when I go into labour. I am planning a med-free birth and will have our doula come to the house to support me in labour at home as long as possible so I want DD out of the house and with my in-laws to allow me to fully focus on the task ahead! Depending on how long I am in the hospital afterward they can always come back to our house to spend the night, I just don’t want to have to worry about her while I’m labouring at home.
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling?
Not sure about this yet!
4) Advice from the BTDT moms
1) Are you planning to have your older kid(s) visit you and baby at the hospital? How soon after birth?
She'll eventually come. Hopefully I don't have to bring her initially and she can come after birth/ next day. If its during the night and we can't get in touch with anyone (because there's no way the IL's would cut their Florida vacation short to be here and I have no family here until 39 weeks), I might just have DH drive me in and they go home/ stay home. I feel like it would be nice to have DH there when I give birth, but its not essential, I suppose. I considered a doula, but just couldn't justify the $$. I'm really hoping to just go into labor at work (I work at a hospital with mother and baby) and walk right over and give birth quickly
2) Are you going to have an overnight care taker or sending your partner home?
Sending partner home unless I deliver 39 weeks or after, at which time my sister will be visiting. So hard to decide when to have family visit. I dont want to waste their time!
3) Planning any gifts from new baby to older sibling?
Nope.
@mamakate1616 we're going to avoid daycare for a few months. i'm pretty paranoid of infant illnesses, and i want to do everything i can to avoid them.
I found these yesterday: https://www.spearmintlove.com/2-piece-pajama-set-black-rose-floral/
They're a little pricey, but I love the pattern and there's also a matching robe for me ( https://www.spearmintlove.com/signature-mommy-robe-black-rose-floral/ ) so I may just do it.