@mrskoz428 I think your kid can have their own personal device, but you as the parent needs to limit their use. The devices stay in your possession and they only use them when you allow them to use them. Right now we have "THe Family Ipad" but lord knows when they are 2 and 4, they are going to fight over it and probably will both get their own then. DD never asks for it unless she sees it (though I am sure that will change as she gets older).
I think StitchFix is the worst. I always get ugly things that I think are worth $7 not $50 and I would really like to know who these stylists are and why they are stylists. I've tried it 3 times and only one time did I kind of want to keep something, except it was a sheer blouse for $58. So, no. Hate.
I am anti technology in general and I think we are pretty strict about when and where it’s used but we do allow it at times. One of the few times my kids get the iPad is if we are on a long flight/car ride, or like last night where I had to kill two hours sitting in the parking lot while DD1 had rehearsals and it was too cold for DD2 to play outside. They never got phones or iPads while out eating, or at the store. And my kids aren’t saints either. We have had many screaming fits in public but then one of us takes them outside and finds something for them do. We always bring small books and toys to look at while we wait. And now that they are older, we sing songs while we wait or play I spy. Or listen to audio books in car. There are so many things you can do to entertain them and I feel like a lot of parents take the easy route and just hand their kid a phone.
They do watch tv or movies at home and we let them do so at young age. Sometimes you just need to get stuff done around the house and can’t entertain them.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
@mrskoz428 - I really think it's a matter of how parents handle it, what rules/limitations you impose, and how effectively you follow through. Some parents give their kids unlimited access to their devices because (trust me) it's soooooooooooo much more peaceful when your kid's attention is focused on a screen rather than obsessing over a missing train piece or clamoring for snacks or singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs for 45 minutes. I'm fairly loose with screen time but I know when to put a stop to it and get him to do something more engaging, like offering to play Candy Land with him or asking if he wants to go to the mall or library with me. When it seems like his down time is turning into zombie time, that's when I cut him off. You just handle it intuitively. Of course, all kids are different so some may react poorly to having their screens taken away. That's when you have to do the cleanse and delete the triggering apps so all they're left with is less interesting stuff. I add them back a few weeks after he stops obsessing.
Point is, it's all about balance
And @chloe97 - my mom tells me all the time if phones/iPads were available to use when we were kids we'd have each had our own! Some Boomers pooh-pooh screen time and ridicule younger parents for using it but you KNOW if they had the opportunity to quiet their noisy children on a long car ride they'd whip those out in a heartbeat.
I'm a second time mom, and DD only gets her Kindle Fire on long road trips, like 2+hours or on a plane. That's all. I think a LeapPad or learning thing I would be more into maybe when she's older. She doesn't use my phone or anything, and if she's screaming I either tough it out or abandon cart and leave. That has only happened maybe 2 times though in the last year. TV is a little different, but I try to not have it on really at all.
In a bigger argument, smart phones are the downfall of our society. SO addicting! I had to put timers on everything because I couldn't control myself.
@sleepy33 what age makes sense for one of those. I'm trying to think of something to get DD to play with on the plane that isn't a tablet (see her lack of interest above) and can't find the ones I've seen others mention for her age like the magnet boards on amazon. The leappad is probably too advanced, for someone not even 1 1/2 yet, though.
@mrskoz428 I tend to side with @chloe97 on that one too. I think responsible use of screens is the responsibility of the parent, regardless of who the device “belongs” to. At the young age that my kids are, I definitely pay close attention to how much iPad screen time they are taking, and what they are doing on the iPad during that time. If they are playing Osmo games for an hour here and there on a super cold day when we’re all feeling a little blah, I’m not going to stop them. But otherwise they get about 20 min in the morning while they’re trying to wake up, 20 min after school and my oldest sometimes gets an extra 20-30 min in the evening if I’m home alone doing solo bedtime. My kids just got these iPads for Christmas this year, but prior to that my 5.5 year old did have her own (hand-me-down) iPod Touch for about the last 1.5 years. She could do the same types of things on it but the thing she loved most was the ability to play an unlimited (but a bit restricted as I have her settings set to block any music rated Explicit) selection of music. We have a shared subscription to Apple Music and that is probably her favourite benefit of having her own device. She will play music just from her device, but often asks to use our Bluetooth speaker as well. Whatever she is doing in the house, she loves to have music while doing it. I have zero hang ups about this so one of the apps that won’t ever be restricted on her devices is the Music app.
My niece and nephew are now reaching the age where they can stay home alone a bit here and there. SIL will sometimes go into work for a 1/2 day on a non-student Friday now and leave the kids at home. At 12 & 10 they both have iPads but are not the type to really zone out on them either. Up until recently SIL has always restricted them by simply taking the device away, but with the Screen Time update it has allowed her to set and view the time limits for each device from her own phone. She can immediately lock them out if there is a reason and can also allow certain apps not to be affected by a screen “down time”. So she can go to work with iPads locked, and once their list of chores/homework/etc is completed, they can FaceTime her to show her it’s done and she can give whatever access she deems fit.
This is is definitely a different world from when I was a kid, but I think it’s all about navigating it in a healthy way. I know that for my niece and nephew, not having their own devices would mean very limited communication with their friends. So many people are moving away from landline phones so to have to communicate with your friends through your parents’ cell phones is kind of challenging. I do believe that access to social media should be restricted, but that is completely in control of the parent who is monitoring said device. But texting and FaceTimeing with friends is kind of today’s version of me sitting up against the kitchen wall tying up our landline while I talked to my BFF for an hour when I was their age.
@kvh22 my SIL got DD2 an Etch a Sketch this Christmas. She ordered it online and was a little disappointed when the one she got was not the classic Etch a Sketch that you use the 2 dials to draw with. The one we got was actually a boogie board with two double-sided stamps in the place of the dials. There was a pen attached to the top for the boogie board and you shake it to erase just like the classic. It would actually be awesome for a younger kid on a flight.
@kvh22 I remember DS got his right around the time we were potty training (it helped a lot with that, too, tbh. I'd just camp him out on his little potty with it and after he'd sat for about 10-15 minutes, he'd go). So he was probably right around 2 when we first introduced it?
@DuchessOfCambridge Totally agree. I've had maybe 5 StitchFix boxes and liked a few of the items but I've only kept maybe 2 shirts because of the price. I'm trying Nadine West, which is a cheaper version of the same thing. Hoping I get some decent things because I really like having clothes delivered!
@DuchessOfCambridge Oh yea, StitchFix is definitely NOT worth the money. I kept trying boxes, and they were all crazy expensive items. Delivered clothes are really nice though.
On that note, my confession is I really really don't like shopping. I can do it a little for kid's clothes, but it's such a drag. Online is the best! Probably not too flame worthy
@DuchessOfCambridge I have been using Le Tote during pregnancy and I honestly love it. IDK how they compare in pricing. But the best part for me is that you get to go in and review your tote after they pull it and if you don't like pieces, you can swap them out. I just reviewed my latest tote and swapped out almost everything lol. This is the one that's on the way to me:
@kvh22 we have this one for our 3 yo but she’s had it since she was 2.5ish. I think it’s been pretty educational for her and she likes to have her own laptop when one of us are on ours at home.
@DuchessOfCambridge I’ve kept a few items from stitch fix but I agree it’s not worthy the price usually. And it’s just so I don’t eat the $20 styling fee. One of the moms in my other BMb did some styling for them. They just farm it out and are pretty formulaic about it.
@DuchessOfCambridge I agree on Stitch fix, but that's possibly because I have a preeeeeettttyyy out-there taste in fashion. Most of the Stitch fix stuff, to me, is very bland. My MIL and SIL love it. In StitchFix's defense though it is GREAT for my husband. He hates shopping but at 33 is still trying to get away from the cargo shorts and graphic tees look. So once a season we get a box to our house with nice button downs and pants and he gets happy and I get happy. Now if only I could get away with trashing his Birkenstocks....
Stitch fix is one of those things I’ve considered trying multiple times, but never actually did. Mostly because sizing is always super difficult for me and my style doesn’t fit neatly into any one category. It’s been interesting to read everyone’s opinion on them, sounds like I wasn’t missing much.
@DuchessOfCambridge do you have your stitch fix account synched to a Pinterest board of clothing you like? I have never sent anything back because I have loved every piece I’ve gotten. I shared a Pinterest board with my stylist and I had things to it frequently. I also do the style quizzes on their website every so often so they know what I like and what I don’t like. I agree that it’s pricey but because I’ve always kept a everything, it’s been closer to $30 a piece rather than the $50-60 they are if you don’t keep all 5 items. Just a thought. I really think the Pinterest board helps.
@kvh22I'm in Australia and have tried researching what hospitals would admit a baby born before 24 weeks and I can't find a single one. My liver has been deteriorating at an ever increasing rate since ~16 weeks and every day is a celebration for me, but the next 4 weeks will probably be the most stressful in my life. I still don't have a diagnosis for my liver and all I can do is hope I make it to 24 weeks without something going drastically wrong.
I can see where @mrskoz428 is coming from with the detrimental effects of technology but think those that have said it's to do with moderation are right. I think it also depends on how your child behaves with technology. My partner's step son is 8yo and a total technology zombie because it was easier to give him an iPad than actually spend time with him, and as a result he is extremely violent when he doesn't get screen time. When I first met him if he was told to get off the xbox he would have a tantrum; kick, yell, scream, etc. until he got his way and got extra time on the xbox. Since then we've come a long way to the point he doesn't even ask to play xbox at our house anymore, but still talks about the game he's playing constantly and if we go somewhere where there's an older child playing on an iPad or the xbox he will just sit and watch this child play, rather than doing whatever the kids his age were doing. I think I would be more OK with his technology use too if he wasn't playing games like Fortnight and Hello Neighbor and if he hadn't got his own PS4 when he was 5yo.
@mcewen3 that screen time thing sounds amazing though! I think it's inevitable that our children will be constantly surrounded by technology and having some extra parental control over it sounds fantastic.
@mrskoz428 I had my Pinterest board linked the first time I did it and I filled out every single style quiz but still didn't like anything. My last two boxes have been maternity boxes and oh man, frump city.
@sleepy33 I think I would like LeTote better and would use it if I was still working! I had a code for the $20 to be waived for StitchFix so I tried it again and it's so meh.
Honestly, I think I'm too good at shopping for myself. I know what I like and what I don't and I'm excellent at sales and finding things in the clearance sections of Loft/JCrew Factory/Banana Factory.
@DuchessOfCambridge bummer! I’m so sad for you! I had a piece or two thenfiest two boxes that were maternity items, but the other items I’ve been able to wear during pregnancy, still. I sorry it doesn’t work for you! I wish it was a little cheaper, honestly, because I can’t spend $180 every months on clothes! However, I changed it to a seasonal fix so I’ll get another box in March.
My UO opinion/action would be that I always want to brag about our complete lack of mobile screen time. DS NEVER uses our phones or uses the IPAD. He's 3 (turned 3 in September). We made an 8 hour road trip and we didn't even get the IPAD out of the bag. We've just never given it to him. We go out to dinner maybe once a week where we plan an appropriate time/place for him and bring toys/food/drinks for him. We have nieces who totally zombie out on phones/ipads for hours during what I consider to be "family time" and it's awful. They don't interact with the other kids or adults at all. For example, 3.5 yr old niece was watching a movie on the phone at DS's birthday party, where we had a bounce house, for about an hour. It's so not cool in my opinion. I know it makes me a troll to feel so proud of our lack of screen time, so I mostly just boast to DH. Disclaimer** we do let him watch TV/Movies at home. Usually try to limit it to no more than 3 1/2 hour episodes in a row. He watches a good amount of HGTV with me though! He also ate cheetos for dinner last night, I'm certainly not perfect!
@alexva2017 Thanks! Yes, I think it's impressive too. We had it with us in the car and I was ready to pull it out if needed, but just didn't need it! I'm not super anti devices, but I do think every other option should be exhausted before resorting to the phone/tablet
Re: UO 1/10
They do watch tv or movies at home and we let them do so at young age. Sometimes you just need to get stuff done around the house and can’t entertain them.
In a bigger argument, smart phones are the downfall of our society. SO addicting! I had to put timers on everything because I couldn't control myself.
My kids just got these iPads for Christmas this year, but prior to that my 5.5 year old did have her own (hand-me-down) iPod Touch for about the last 1.5 years. She could do the same types of things on it but the thing she loved most was the ability to play an unlimited (but a bit restricted as I have her settings set to block any music rated Explicit) selection of music. We have a shared subscription to Apple Music and that is probably her favourite benefit of having her own device. She will play music just from her device, but often asks to use our Bluetooth speaker as well. Whatever she is doing in the house, she loves to have music while doing it. I have zero hang ups about this so one of the apps that won’t ever be restricted on her devices is the Music app.
My niece and nephew are now reaching the age where they can stay home alone a bit here and there. SIL will sometimes go into work for a 1/2 day on a non-student Friday now and leave the kids at home. At 12 & 10 they both have iPads but are not the type to really zone out on them either. Up until recently SIL has always restricted them by simply taking the device away, but with the Screen Time update it has allowed her to set and view the time limits for each device from her own phone. She can immediately lock them out if there is a reason and can also allow certain apps not to be affected by a screen “down time”. So she can go to work with iPads locked, and once their list of chores/homework/etc is completed, they can FaceTime her to show her it’s done and she can give whatever access she deems fit.
This is is definitely a different world from when I was a kid, but I think it’s all about navigating it in a healthy way. I know that for my niece and nephew, not having their own devices would mean very limited communication with their friends. So many people are moving away from landline phones so to have to communicate with your friends through your parents’ cell phones is kind of challenging. I do believe that access to social media should be restricted, but that is completely in control of the parent who is monitoring said device. But texting and FaceTimeing with friends is kind of today’s version of me sitting up against the kitchen wall tying up our landline while I talked to my BFF for an hour when I was their age.
BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
BFP: 1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17
BFP: 9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19
BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
On that note, my confession is I really really don't like shopping. I can do it a little for kid's clothes, but it's such a drag. Online is the best! Probably not too flame worthy
https://www.target.com/p/leapfrog-2-in-1-leaptop-touch/-/A-52139079
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
I can see where @mrskoz428 is coming from with the detrimental effects of technology but think those that have said it's to do with moderation are right. I think it also depends on how your child behaves with technology. My partner's step son is 8yo and a total technology zombie because it was easier to give him an iPad than actually spend time with him, and as a result he is extremely violent when he doesn't get screen time. When I first met him if he was told to get off the xbox he would have a tantrum; kick, yell, scream, etc. until he got his way and got extra time on the xbox. Since then we've come a long way to the point he doesn't even ask to play xbox at our house anymore, but still talks about the game he's playing constantly and if we go somewhere where there's an older child playing on an iPad or the xbox he will just sit and watch this child play, rather than doing whatever the kids his age were doing. I think I would be more OK with his technology use too if he wasn't playing games like Fortnight and Hello Neighbor and if he hadn't got his own PS4 when he was 5yo.
@mcewen3 that screen time thing sounds amazing though! I think it's inevitable that our children will be constantly surrounded by technology and having some extra parental control over it sounds fantastic.
@sleepy33 I think I would like LeTote better and would use it if I was still working! I had a code for the $20 to be waived for StitchFix so I tried it again and it's so meh.
Honestly, I think I'm too good at shopping for myself. I know what I like and what I don't and I'm excellent at sales and finding things in the clearance sections of Loft/JCrew Factory/Banana Factory.
We have nieces who totally zombie out on phones/ipads for hours during what I consider to be "family time" and it's awful. They don't interact with the other kids or adults at all. For example, 3.5 yr old niece was watching a movie on the phone at DS's birthday party, where we had a bounce house, for about an hour. It's so not cool in my opinion.
I know it makes me a troll to feel so proud of our lack of screen time, so I mostly just boast to DH.
Disclaimer** we do let him watch TV/Movies at home. Usually try to limit it to no more than 3 1/2 hour episodes in a row. He watches a good amount of HGTV with me though! He also ate cheetos for dinner last night, I'm certainly not perfect!