UO 1/10

kvh22

Post your unpopular opinions here. Sorry I've used up my GIF game in other threads and just don't have the energy to figure out a good one 

eatinwatermelonseeds

This is a weird one. I absolutely HATE blowing my nose. Like...I won't if I don't have to. Even if I have a cold, I'll suffer. I just can't stand the feeling of it. 

sleepy33

@eatinwatermelonseeds before I had sinus surgery, I literally couldn't blow my nose, like nothing ever came out and it made my ears hurt. Now, it's such a novelty 

teesmee

@eatinwatermelonseeds I grew up with a mom who had no tolerance for a runny nose. She would carry tissue everywhere and would make us blow our nose if it was runny, way past when that was necessary. To this day, if I even so much as sniffle my mom will give me a tissue and tell me to stop being rude. 😂 all that to say, I blow my nose. A. Lot. 

kvh22

Adding a *TW* in case although not sure if this needs it. I don't mean this against anyone but I never really understood the excitement over "viability" at 24 weeks. I guess I see it as a straw man's milestone but it's not a black and white line. I thought it was weird in my last BMB and after my cousin delivered at 25 weeks in September (they are home with their baby boy now after 3+ months in the NICU), it makes even less sense to me now. Every day after that I will be thankful to still be pregnant but I don't see it as one day of "oh, phew, made it."

eatinwatermelonseeds

@kvh22 last night when I thought I was in early labor, I couldn't calm down because I knew that meant there was zero chance for viability. They wouldn't even try. 

So, usually I wouldn't celebrate 24 weeks, but this time around I definitely will. On the off chance something like that happens to me again, I want at least a tiny inkling that SOMETHING could be done, not the sheer hopelessness that if I had been in labor, I would have lost him. 

kvh22

@eatinwatermelonseeds so my mom has a friend who went into labor at 22 weeks - might have been closer to 23 but wasn't even a full 23 weeks yet (this was like a month after I was born so almost 30 years ago, now). They called around to all the hospitals - granted, you're 45 mins from Boston so you have A LOT of options, but they found one that took her. I guess that's my point. The kid has some vision and a few other health issues, but he's okay and almost 30 years old just like me born at 39+4. I did look it up earlier this pregnancy and hospitals consider it somewhere between 22-24 weeks - 24 weeks isn't a hard and fast rule. And at 25 weeks with my cousin's kid, it was touch and go a lot the first 6-7 weeks so it's not a guarantee even past that.

aels12

@teesmee my mom was the exact same way. My brothers and I all blow our noses constantly and super loud. It’s mildly entertaining (and gross?) when we’re all together. 

misskimsue

I hate the show "Vampirina". It's not Halloween anymore and the whole "vampires" concept is at least 10 years overbaked. Plus, it's like humans and vampires are "not so different" after all. Well, isn't the whole point of vampires that they survive by drinking the blood of humans? So, yeah, that actually is pretty significantly different from being a human. And when your theme song basically consists of "Whoooa-oh-ohhh (name of show), Whoooa-oh-ohhh (name of show)", I'm sorry, but that's lazy and annoying. I'm not sure if this is an unpopular opinion, but Disney seems to devote 30% of its daily airtime to the show, so someone must like it.

chloe97

@kvh22 I get what you are saying about 24 weeks- it's definitely NOT a finish line, but when you have losses, particularly later term losses, and you are thankful for every day that you are pregnant, it's something that gives you hope that things COULD be okay.  Obviously, no one wants to give birth at 24 weeks, but if you have a serious health condition that makes it touch and go that you would even make it to 24 weeks, it's something to celebrate. 

kvh22

@chloe97 it seemed like half my board was like "yay viability" last time and I didn't get it but this time, especially with the concerns about my SCH so early on (placental abruption and spontaneous labor are the concerns - hence me looking up when places would deliver) I get it even less now. I'm still on some restrictions centered around not "jostling" the baby so that I don't go into preterm labor, although the SCH is stable, it's still putting some pressure on the gestational sac. Everyone's perspective about this will be different but I did think it was going to be a UO. And I've never experienced a loss, early or late. My opinion is more that 22 weeks CAN be considered early enough and 24 is kind of arbitrary, not that it's not exciting to reach a point where the baby can be delivered - just that it's grayer.

brie_and_almonds

kvh22 said:

My opinion is more that 22 weeks CAN be considered early enough and 24 is kind of arbitrary, not that it's not exciting to reach a point where the baby can be delivered - just that it's grayer.

Ugh, my brain is not functioning properly today... I read this three times before I figureed out that "grayer" was not an auto-correct mistake for something else.

chloe97

Ah I get that @kvh22 I think that there are so many factors into the long term survival/disability rate, so for some 22 weeks could be something to celebrate and others 32 weeks, but you would never actually know if you were in that awful position of delivering early. I remember thinking to myself that after my 2 losses and finding out that DD was a girl, that I was so happy that DD was a girl b/c girls fare better as super premies than boys and in my mind, making it full-term was a long shot b/c of my history of loss.

 TW- A friend of a friend has had multiple MCs and gone through IVF multiple times and then had a loss at 20 weeks due to PROM. I know that after having PROM, making it to 26 weeks (which she was this past week, I think) was huge for her. Not sure why she chose 26 weeks, maybe that is what her Dr told her. Anyway, to each their own on which milestones comfort you or don't comfort you.  

kvh22

@brie_and_almonds I originally typed greyer and it underlined it so idk...it thought grayer was a word and greyer wasn't.

@chloe97 Yes, I basically figured out that if I go into labor now, I'd be 22 weeks at midnight so I could go to *A* hospital somewhere. Every day after that will make me happier and happier. We were slightly more concerned about my cousin's son born at 25 weeks since he was a boy because of what you said. So glad your friend made it to 26 weeks!! I think 27 or 28 is amazing, it's just so iffy from 22-26 or 27 I think.

mrskoz428

Kids under middle school don’t need video games of any type, or really, any type of personal electrinics, for that matter. I have students that have their own iPads and cell phones plus 2-3 different gaming counsels at home. I grew up without all of those things, despite being only 24, and I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. It’s so unnecessary and over the top.

sleepy33

@mrskoz428 when my son goes to his dad's, they spend almost all their time together playing video games. It infuriates me, but there's nothing I can do about it. At least for now, he sticks to games that aren't violent (like Lego building things and stuff geared towards kids) but it still makes me furious. And he's always pushed the envelope on taking him to see movies that are too mature for him, so I know he won't use the best judgment about games down the road, either. 

missy052819

@mrskoz428 I agree my nieces and nephews have their faces shoved in their tablets. I didn't even want to buy them christmas presents because they are only interested in their tablets. So they got clothes.

misskimsue

mrskoz428 said:

Kids under middle school don’t need video games of any type, or really, any type of personal electrinics, for that matter. I have students that have their own iPads and cell phones plus 2-3 different gaming counsels at home. I grew up without all of those things, despite being only 24, and I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. It’s so unnecessary and over the top.

Perhaps what I'm about to say is the true UO here because, I will admit, technology does seem overbearing these days. But I grew up a long, long time ago in the 80's, in a family full of engineers, and we always had the latest technology- computers, consoles, we were early users of the internet. I was an introvert, like everyone else in my family, and I loved computer games, especially simulation games, adventure games, history games, and other world-building or "sandbox" style games. Not all video games are about killing people; many are actually about finding an outlet for your creativity to build things. I spent a lot of time on a "Storybook Creator" game that let me write my own stories and create pictures to go along with each scene. Nobody knows how many hours I spent building metropolises on SimCity. (Yes, before I was in middle school.) My point is, sometimes people overlook the personality differences that can lead to a preference for technology-based vs. traditional or "truly social" activities. My husband (also a nerd) plays Flight Simulator and Kerbal Space Program with my young kids and I don't think that's a bad thing at all. Like all things in life, balance is key. While I wouldn't advocate for spending all of your time on video games, I also wouldn't write them off as a purely negative thing.

(edited because I missed a word)

sleepy33

@misskimsue all I wanna know is, did you ever play Rollercoaster Tycoon

misskimsue

@sleepy33 Of course I did!

eatinwatermelonseeds

My son uses my husband's iPad or did until it died. But he has a leappad now that only has educational games and videos. We will never have a video game console if I have any say. And honestly it bums me out because I LOVED my Sega. But my husband's really quick to become addicted and we'd end up divorced. His last Xbox ended up with a hammer to it. It was bad. So never ever ever again. 

DuchessOfCambridge

Viability does not give me a feeling of security but it DOES make me feel like "this baby has a shot", as it was said above. The only thing that gives me a feeling of security is holding that baby after birth.

I'm not super into kids being techy but H is big on tech stuff because it's his job and we've basically decided if it's relatively normal, our kids will have it (within reason). Like, I don't want them to be the ONLY ones without a phone in 6th grade or something. However, they will get super basic phones that can call us and send a few predetermined texts.

mrskoz428

@eatinwatermelonseeds I had a leap pad learning system and it was my favorite thing! I learned so much about the human body and did a lot of math practice, as well. 

@misskimsue I definitely played sims, but again, not until after middle school. As a fourth grade teacher, I see so many negatives of technology. They know how to break through our internet security filter but don’t know the difference between odd and even numbers or what letters are vowels. 

jusgigi

@misskimsue i agree with you about it all being about moderation. I have nephews that are polar opposites. One is a bookworm, loves electronics of all sorts, and have prefered to play by himself since he was an infant. The younger nephew is all about being outside (hunting, riding dirt bikes etc) he doesnt really care for electronics much and is a social butterfly. My sister is really tough on the nephew that is a home body and it upsets me sometimes. He plays alot pf educational games and even is teaching himself how to modify games and programs. I think its a good thing and its not like he doesn’t ever go outside or play sports.

after having several loses i am looking forward to 24wks. For the same reason several people stated- the baby will now have a fighting chance of surviving. My middle nephew was born at 26wks and made it. I know that there isnt a guarantee but its better than knowing that if something happens than that is just it (like the times before). Side note- the lady my sister had to share a room with, her baby was 31 wks was bigger and had less issues and didn’t make it. So its not always how far along you are or how big the baby is. 

brie_and_almonds

I am pretty pro-video games! Early confession: DH and I actually met playing an online game together. I agree that the time needs to be limited, because my kids (DD1 especially) would have their faces in tablets from dawn until dusk if that was an option for them.

We got a Nintendo Switch last Christmas, and it's been so fun getting to play games on there with DD1 -- we just got Just Dance, and we've all been doing silly dances around our living room.

kbeers13

This is a definite TW* for some. I have a facebook friend that I was closer with in highschool who was pregnant, had her gender reveal, posted the name of her baby, and at 22 weeks went into labor which was not able to be stopped. She ended up delivering her daughter at 22 weeks 3 days and the hospital staff stood back and said they do not get involved with saving the infant if the pregnancy did not hit 24 weeks. Her daughter passed shortly after since no efforts were made by hospital staff per hospital policy. This policy of the 24 week delivery assistance cut off was disclosed to my friend earlier in her pregnancy but was of course not on her mind at the time when she was getting to the hospital or she would have called all the nearest ones to see what their policy was. Her due date was yesterday and our hearts still break reading her posts remembering her daughter. 

heathergirl89

We're all big time gamers and technology is what I love. My degree is even in it. We have a PS3 in the kids room that they use for Netflix.  We also have two PS4's. I play a computer MMORPG a lot, and I was just surprised with a Samsung Galaxy Note 9 for an early birthday present. We all just make sure we keep a balance. The kids play with army men and legos and play doh. I love to read, especially James Patterson. I think when done right, technology use at a young age can help make a child more well rounded, especially in a world that is only going to get more technologically advanced as time goes on. 

chloe97

Completely agree with the moderation on video games. Confession: we bought an iPad right before our first long car trip with DD when she was 12 months. I put Sesame Street games in it and she occupies herself for 20 minutes at a time. It’s a god send. I don’t give it to her unless we are in a car and it’s isually just to watch Sesame Street, but as a parent you do what you gotta do.

I was also a child of the 80s- though we didn’t get a computer with the internet until 1997 when I was 17. Well bc the internet as we know it did not exist. But as a kid, we played computer games. I used to draw on early paint, played Jeopardy and Larry Bird and Dr J with my brothers. Then we got a Nintendo when I was 9 or 10 and we were super into Super Mario Brothers and Zelda. But my parents severely limited our screen time even back in the 80/90s. I strongly believe that as long as the parenting is good, kids can learn to use technology in moderation. But parents just have to model good behavior. I’m trying to learn to leave my phone in the other room when interacting with DD. 

poshspice

I said I wouldn’t give my kid an iPad or my phone while she was a toddler before I actually had a kid and I have eaten my words many times over. 

You have a shopping cart 2/3 full with only a few items left on your list. Your kid starts melting down. You really need these items. Do you let the kid keep screaming for the rest of the shopping trip? Do you abandon your cart? Or hand over the phone and let Yo Gabba Gabba or Elmo save the shopping trip? 

I don’t let her have anything if we’re out in nature going for a walk, but if I need to get something done, I will hand over the phone or let her watch a movie at home. Technology saves the day sometimes. It’s definitely all about moderation, though. When we’re at home I let DD just rage at me because it’s fine and it’s good for her to figure out how to deal with frustration and not getting her way all the time. 

kvh22

@kbeers13 Ugh my heart breaks hearing that. I'm not sure I would know about the 22 week thing if my mom hadn't told me that story every time we talk about preemies. But yes - she was apparently told by almost all of them that they would deliver the baby as a procedure to save her (the mom's) life but couldn't do anything to help the baby once it was born. For anyone near Boston, St. E's was the hospital that did it back then. I assume there are more now. I have my hospital registration form that I need to do online (so nice that they automated it from less than 2 years ago) and wonder if that info is on there. I actually wasn't able to figure out if anywhere near me takes you at 22 weeks (where do they post these things on the internet???) but being an hour from San Francisco and 25 minutes from Stanford in addition to the great hospitals right by me in San Jose, I figure I'd have to be able to find one if I needed it by calling them.

robyn2201

Regarding early labor, I would think that a hospital with a level 4 NICU would be more willing to provide life savings measures for a 22 or 23 weaker. That’s my guess since that’s the highest level and they would have the best technology available. That is who I would call first.

DuchessOfCambridge

@poshspice just today DS was losing his ish in public and people were staring. Anddddd baby shark on YouTube, take my phone, do whatever just please stop screaming. We had an appointment run a half hour late, we couldn't just leave and he wouldn't be distracted with food or books 🤷

mcewen3

@mrskoz428 both of my kids have their own iPads 🙈 (gift from grandma this Christmas). Apple family sharing has excellent control options that make me feel pretty safe about what they can access and if I needed to I could also restrict their screen time via that tool (rather than just taking the device away).  But as it is, they love to play outside more than anything and playing make believe and with their Barbie house or playmobil sets.  They are in no way screen zombies but having those little tablets makes down time much easier and travel 100x better.  We also have a wonderful educational game called Osmo.  We just started using it and I would absolutely recommend it for parents of kids 4-5ish and up, its a little much for my 3yo but she does pretty well with some of it.

wishiwaspreggo

I'm terrified of pre-term labor (carrying twins) so reaching 24 weeks will feel great for me! I'm lucky in that I'm an hour's drive away from a level 4 NICU if I need it and I think my NICU in town is level 2. So far both my babies are big for their gestational age (both were 12 ounces at my 19 week appointment, putting them in the 93rd percentile). I'm hoping they'll grow big and fast, like their big brother. It'll make pre-term birth less frightening. My son was born at 35 weeks and he was robust at 6.5 pounds, didn't need NICU care at all.

As for iPads... my son definitely has one! He doesn't really care about it though. He got addicted to YouTube for a while and we had to take it away from him for a few weeks but anymore he likes to screw around on it for 20 minutes at a time and then play with his toys. He LOVES his toys and games. As long as he's engaging in the physical world and gets regular social interaction I don't care if he chills and watches YouTube on the couch in the evenings.

chloe97

Yeah I definitely think the “no technology when they are little” UO probably will be limited to the FTMs in this group. (But maybe I’m wrong? Any STM staying strong during the toddler days out there?). But honestly, as a parent you have to do what you gotta do. Our choices are 1.) don’t travel to see family 2.) travel and hear screaming for 8+ hours 3.) give our 18 month old an IPad. We are all better off with option 3. 

missy052819

@chloe97 I agree. I feel like my opinion will change once I'm actually in that position. Only time will tell haha 

lappymom2019

@chloe97 So true! I try not to say I will never do something or judge other people for their choices in parenting because I have no idea what I am doing and really, none of us do! As a FTM, I have a lot of lofty goals that I am sure will be swatted down my reality once the baby is here.

misskimsue

@chloe97 Yup. I was recently on a 10-hour flight with my four-year-old and two-year-old. I'm pretty sure we would have been murdered by the other passengers if our kids were tech-free. I swear, there is nothing my heart would desire more than for them to read books and color quietly in their seats. But in reality, that will occupy them for maybe fifteen minutes. Now there's 9h45m left in my flight and the damn fasten seat belt sign is on. God bless tablets and God bless noise-cancelling headphones for everyone else on the plane. Yes, people must have survived in this situation somehow 30 years ago... but it may have been by having their kids scream and cry for 10 hours. Parents use the resources available to them, and it's definitely a learning experience raising your first toddler.

kvh22

I was all for no TV until 2 until DD went through her phase of waking up at 4:45/5am (for an entire month). Sesame Street on demand FTW. It seems like some kids her age knew who Elmo was which she definitely doesn't and it's literally the only show we've ever let her watch. I tried to load some games onto an old tablet I had to let DD use it on our flights home for Christmas but at 16 months she wasn't interested?? She's obsessed with our phones but not when they're on  She likes to take the cards out of my cardholder on it and tries to put them back in. And she insists on bringing DH his phone if she sees it and it's not on his person.

sleepy33

I'll just put in another plug here for the LeapPad systems. DS has one, and there are lots of fun and educational apps and videos you can download to it. It's honestly really helped his reading a ton. He went through a phase where he was adamant that he 'could not read' even though he knew all of the letters, phonetic sounds, could do some sight words. I didn't push it, but one day he opened an old spelling/reading app on his Leap Pad that he hadn't looked at in a long time, and suddenly now he's obsessed with reading. 

mrskoz428

I should clarify that I’m not against kids using technology, but they don’t need their own personal devices. I have watched what it has done to my nieces and nephews and I don’t want to see that happen to my kids.