January Randoms

SpongeWorthy · January 2019

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prpl11butterfly · January 2019

Welp, looks like its "unexplained". RE says everything looks perfect and no visible cause. If we have another loss he suggests moving to IVF with embryo testing.

char245 · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I’m glad things look good but unexplained is also so hard. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have something to “fix”. So did the RE suggest just continuing trying on your own for now?

prpl11butterfly · January 2019

Oh, yea. Meant to add the next step plans 😂. Course of action is TI with progesterone after +OPK. Guess we will see how it goes for the next few cycles.

emeraldcity603 · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I'm glad ya'll have a plan in place. I would be torn between wanting something to fix and being relieved nothing is showing up.

Mack2342 · January 2019

Sorry for the unexplained @prpl11butterfly but glad you have next steps

mackorori · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I get how that can be frustrating and yet relief at the same time. Hopefully the next steps plan puts you on the right track.

For my own personal rant...had first AF after my D&E (or what I thought was), but
my HCG is still at 18. It delays our next steps, so that was frustrating, but then it was a bit of a blow emotionally to feel like the baby is still there in this small physical way. Perhaps a sign we need a bit more time for healing, this is all a lot to take.

Hope you all had a nice holiday season.

ruby696 · January 2019

@mackorori I feel you. I had AF spotting last week and was all ready to schedule my saline sono and then... nothing. No sign at all. I also think I need more time to heal, so no rush here. For once.

SpongeWorthy · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I’m sorry you didn’t get any answers. I hope it really was just shit luck and you can be on your way out of here soon.
@mackorori ❤️❤️❤️ That is frustrating. You have such a good attitude. I hope this extra time is a positive thing for you.

zuuls_mom · January 2019

I'm so sorry you didn't get answers @prpl11butterfly. That's so frustrating. I hope they get a good plan in place to proceed. Thinking of you!

@mackorori that sounds super frustrating! I hate the "is it or is it not" game. Sending you love.

SpongeWorthy · January 2019

Anybody see this article about damaged sperm leading to RPL? https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jan/04/more-male-tests-needed-in-cases-of-repeated-miscarriages-uk-study

SpongeWorthy · January 2019

Anybody see this article about damaged sperm leading to RPL? https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jan/04/more-male-tests-needed-in-cases-of-repeated-miscarriages-uk-study

Mack2342 · January 2019

I had not read that @SpongeWorthy but my RE has talked a bit about sperm health. My DH is type 1 diabetic so he thought maybe that was an issue but his semen sample was fine. With my last MC, we tested the tissue and two sperm fertilized the egg. RE said it could have been a fluke or that my eggs just allow any and all sperm to enter. He didn’t know for sure but didn’t say it was due to bad sperm.

emeraldcity603 · January 2019

We got the results from our genetic testing back today. It was inconclusive because the tissue failed to grow. They said that happens sometimes after a MC. So now our option is to get additional testing or just move on and hope for the best next time.

emeraldduchess · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 I'm sorry that you didn't get the answers that you were looking for. Hugs to you. 💚

prpl11butterfly · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 I'm so sorry that it wasnt more helpful.

ruby696 · January 2019

@emeraldduchess I'm sorry you didn't get answers. I've never had testing done and I wish I had. Not knowing is so hard. Hugs

char245 · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 I’m sorry you didn’t get any answers. Now knowing is such a difficult part of this journey!

kerco925 · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 I am so sorry that you didnt get answers.

emeraldcity603 · January 2019

Would ya'll opt for the additional testing for me? She said I could get screened for a clotting disorder and other possible problems.

*TW prior pregnancies mentioned**

I have had 4 very healthy pregnancies before this MC. I have never had any complications other than premature labor with my first. My husband doesn't think I need the additional testing and that the MC was due to the SCH. My doctor doesn't agree though. I'm just not sure what to do.

char245 · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 it’s so hard to say bc so often the testing comes back and we still have no answers. But at the same time I completely understand wanting answers and for myself I feel like if it’s a simple blood test then why not. I’m actually being tested for the MTHFR mutation tomorrow after requesting it from my doctor. She said that recent studies have shown that it doesn’t actually cause recurring miscarriages, however I’ve seen a lot of articles claiming it
does so she said she would do it if it made me feel better. So basically, I think if it would help you feel better and you know there is a good chance that you won’t get an answer then you should do what’s right for you.

prpl11butterfly · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 aside from the fact that I've had 3 losses, your spoiler story is basically me. I was planning to get the clotting disorder testing but got preg that cycle (they can't do it until a fresh cycle AL or during after AF because preg hormones can alter the results). My RE did it only because I have a family history of heart attack and stroke. He said that having been on BCP and not having issues was a good indication that I didn't have a clotting issue. Well, he was right about it being a non issue, my tests are clean. I went through so much testing and still have no answer. But I knew going into it that there was very likely no answer. It helps and it doesn't. I am happy that there is nothing wrong, that I can be confident that nothing could have been done different to prevent my losses. But on the other hand there is nothing that can be done to prevent future losses. I guess it's just a double edge sword.

Anyway.... it's a simple blood test and I would say it can't hurt. At least you can have peace of mind that there is nothing wrong with you that could have changed the outcome.

Mack2342 · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 I agree with others if it’s a simple test and will help you feel at ease then do it. I had one healthy pregnancy followed by 3 MCs. I had testing done after last one bc with the last 2 MCs I had blood clots in uterus. RE said it was likely nothing and said it was my age causing MCs. But he ordered test for me anyway and they came back fine, no issues. It made me feel a little better knowing that there wasn’t something wrong but also discouraging bc RE was probably right and it was just my age which means no fix. It’s a gamble as to how it will make you feel.

ruby696 · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 I think for me it would depend on why your doctor didn't agree that the loss was caused by the SCH. It would also depend on why YH (isn't he also a doctor?) didn't want you to get tested. Personally, I would be very anxious the next time I was pregnant if I hadn't taken the test and couldn't rule out a clotting disorder. There are some clotting disorders (Factor II) that can be asymptomatic in some pregnancies and then cause a loss in another.

prpl11butterfly · January 2019

Just need a moment to feel sad. Tw ** other peoples pregnancy/loss/reproductive systems discussed

My boss and I were talking this morning and she mentioned that she went of BC because she hated how she was feeling and that she feels so much better now. I know she doesnt want to get preg anytime soon. But, her first 2 pregnancies were unplanned. She got preg pretty quickly after her loss dispite actively TTA. I can't help but feel she's going to get accidentally KU and I'll have to put my own TTC on hold. I am feeling pretty hormonal right now and if I were going home for lunch, I good cry would be had. If it didn't take months to get a BFP I may feel different. But right now, I just can't see this working out in my favor. I can't vent to DH about this, hes going to think I'm crazy. She does know my full plight so I'm sure shes going to be careful. But we all know that things happen.

ruby696 · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly Ugh, I'm sorry. But don't let it stress you. *TW* LC in spoiler

When I got pregnant with DD, my colleague found out she was pregnant two weeks later. We each had a caseload of about 65 cases and there were only two other attorneys in our office. We both planned to be out for about 5 months and we did not GAF. Work is not your problem. If your boss gets pregnant, that is not your problem. Do not put your TTC plans on hold for your job. They will figure it out. And maybe mention a copper IUD to her. You know, if she doesn't like hormonal BC.

prpl11butterfly · January 2019

@ruby696 I know it wouldn't be the end of the world but it's complicated. Shes the owners daughter and there is only 3 of us. My office mate cannot pick up slack because I'm technically management and she is only administrative. I selfishly wish she would do an IUD but I think she plans to start trying again in the fall anyway. Which is even more pressure because I don't really feel confident I'll be preg anytime soon.

emeraldcity603 · January 2019

@ruby696 my doctor said since the SCH was healed by the time the baby's heart stopped it wasn't the SCH that caused it. She thinks there was a chromosomal abnormality that caused the SCH in the first place. It was abnormally big, which is rare. Also, during my last US the baby had swelling around the head and abdomen which she said was likely due to a heart defect.

My mind starts spiraling about the possibility of a heart defect. I was so sick that pregnancy that I ended up taking a Zofran one night. I was told later (weeks before my loss) that Zofran has been shown to cause heart defects. I changed prenatal too and I kept forgetting to take them because they were a twice a day kind. Anyways, these things make me second guess all the choices I made.

*TW pregnancy mentioned*

DH doesn't think I need the testing because he is certain if it were a clotting disorder it would have caused issues with another pregnancy. He also takes the approach of less is better until you know more concrete facts. He always airs on the side of being more conservative. It drives me nuts!

emeraldcity603 · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I second @ruby696. Don't put your plans on hold for your job. That is their job to figure out.

ruby696 · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly You could always start dropping hints that you're trying for another, if they don't already know. Then at least they wont be surprised. I'm a obnoxiously dedicated to my job, but family planning is one area that trumps loyalty to my employer. Hopefully it won't be an issue for you, but they can figure something out if it is.

@emeraldcity603 The choices you made didn't cause your loss. Please believe that. Women doing crack have babies - missing prenatals didn't cause it and I highly doubt the Zofran did. If it was a chromosomal abnormality, it likely won't happen a second time. I get where YH is coming from, but I personally would like the peace of mind of knowing I did what I could to know as much as possible. And if the tests are negative, you can chalk it up to a chromosomal issue and YH can say I told you so.

ETA: And a blood test really is NBD.

prpl11butterfly · January 2019

Oh @ruby696 she knows just about everything. All the glory details (okay, not ALLLL but pretty damn close). I'm more comfortable being upfront and honest about why I need time off (hey, I'm having a catheter and saline shoved into my ute so I'm taking the day off). And since shes had a loss its been to talk to her about all the feels involved. Having 1 person who can truly relate to my feelings is great. I am pretty commonly an open person. And since most people here know about the multiple losses, I'm running the impression they know we're actively trying.

@emeraldcity603 absolutely nothing you did (or didn't do) caused it. I'm sure your OB is right and there was a chromosomal issue. But again, I few vials of blood is a small sacrifice when you look at the grand scheme and all we've already been through.

Mack2342 · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I agree don’t put your TTC plans on hold for work. They will figure it out if they have to.

@emeraldcity603 again I agree you did nothing to cause MC. I do relate though. It took me a little while to not blame myself for my first MC. I now don’t think it was my fault but it took a while to get there

emeraldcity603 · January 2019

Thanks ladies. I have been pretty good about not blaming myself but sometimes those thoughts creep in.

As for the Zofran, DH doesn't prescribe it in the ER anymore. He has decided the risk of the possible side effects aren't worth the benefits.

prpl11butterfly · January 2019

On further ruminating on my feelings, I find I'm more upset by the fact that she could have 2 successful (and unplanned) pregnancies in the amount of time I am still trying to have 1.

mackorori · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I completely get where you are coming from wanting to try and accommodate a work situation. My work is crazy busy in the first half of the year, particularly March - May, and being a partner I have a lot of responsibility. Because of this, we decided to wait until the fall to use the embryo from our March IVF to try and time it out. Then we get PG naturally and well, you know the story. Anyway, after three years of this TTC journey I say "no more" to caring about the timing implications. The due dates for my MMC were not ideal (Feb and Mar) and so we can figure it out if we end up there. It's incredibly unfair for you to need to put your life on hold if your boss ends up PG when I'm not sure she would give you the same courtesy.

ruby696 · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I get that. It amazes me that people can even get pregnant accidentally. That is so far from my experience, I can't even comprehend it. So yeah, that would be pretty hard to swallow.

Mack2342 · January 2019

@prpl11butterfly I totally understand that I have a co worker who has had two babies while I’ve had 3 MC and the last one was unplanned and she made it a point to tell me that even knowing my history. It’s annoying!

SpongeWorthy · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 Plenty of people in my last BMB took zofran and didn’t end up with babies with CHD. It was really nothing you did wrong to cause the MC. And after having a child with a complex CHD, I can tell you it’s not the end of the world. There are plenty of thriving CHD survivors out there. The gold medalist snowboarder Shaun White even has the same CHD my son had 😮

mackorori · January 2019

So I did a kickboxing class last night and visualized my damaged eggs as the target on the bag. It was quite therapeutic, particularly after hearing my HCG is still at 10. If you’ve never tried and want to get some frustration and anger out I highly recommend it.

mackorori · January 2019

@emeraldcity603 In our heart we know it is not our fault, but it’s hard not to think that sometimes, wonder if we could have done something differently. Loss can be an roller coaster of thoughts and emotions, be kind to yourself.

ruby696 · January 2019

@mackorori I have my best runs on angry/emotional days. It really is cathartic. Glad you got some of the anger and frustration out.

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