Super duper done. They are tying my tubes in a double knot after this c section. I wasn’t sure if we were one and done .... pregnancy is hard on me and my body. I have every single side effect. I spread like woah regardless of my actions. I am not cute or happy. I simply couldn’t put my family through another pregnancy.
This is #3 for us and I do not plan anymore pregnancies after this. I am a little surprised at how comfortable I am with this. I come from a big family and always wanted 4 or 5 kids (dh was comfortable with 3), but this will be my 3rd c section and i don’t really want to do anymore after this. Also, after this next year which will be challenging financially with 2 kids in daycare (my student loans and car will be paid off a year from July, which will give us room to breathe), 3 kids is most manageable at our current incomes. I grew up with 6 siblings and we were pretty poor, I don’t want my kids to know that kind of financial instability if I can help it. That being said if things changed for us financially dh and I have discussed adoption or becoming foster parents down the road If we still feel the need for another child.
As for the how, not 100% sure. Since I got pregnant this time taking the pill correctly (original plan was to try for a 3rd child as my loans were paid off) that is definitely out of the question. Dh is more than willing to have a vasectomy if it means no condoms, but I am considering having my tubes removed (apparently my OB says they can’t always remove them, but if they can she tries to because it may reduce the risk of ovarian cancer). I have to do more research because it that’s the case then I will go this way because ovarian cancer runs in my family (my dad was BRCa positive) and anything I can do to reduce risk I am open to. But i still need to research more about the side effects afterwards, before I make any decisions.
We had said this was gonna b our last. He has 2 girls from previous relationships. Then we have a girl together. And now we having a boy. We said if this was a boy, we were done becus who’s to say the next won’t b a girl and we dnt want anymore girls. But now he saying give it a year, see how we feel. But if we still saying our son is enough, with the 3 girls; then we are done!! And tubes will be tied. But honestly I’m happy with the fact i have one of each. After that it’s just extra and i dnt want extras.
I was an only child and DH is one of 2. We will try for one more after this LO, but not for another 3 or 4 years. I’m okay with a larger age gap. We need to make and save money for a bigger house before we have more. We will be done after two, regardless of gender, but won’t do any permanent surgeries to prevent.
@mrskoz428 very similar here. We are done, but won't do anything permanent. And so far I'm loving the larger age gap during pregnancy. He's so aware and so excited. Plus, we've really gotten our shit together lol. I cannot imagine having gone through nursing school with 2 in daycare, 1 newly diagnosed with autism, 1 an infant and having 3 surgeries during nursing school with 2 kids (not to mention, when I got pregnant last time TW before mc /TW I would've given birth during nursing school, THEN had 3 surgeries 😬). I just.... I wouldn't have made it.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I’m cool with birth control and pulling out. I had toxic shock as a teenager so tampons aren’t an option for me during my period, so I’ll probably do long term bc like another IUD or the arm implant.
@mrskoz428 I'm considering the arm implant again. I can't do IUD because it caused infection. I try to avoid hormonal birth control, but that just leaves natural family planning. Which given our fertility, isn't a bad option, but early on it's not a great option.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I had an IUD in college. Minus the lack of sex drive, I loved it. I might do the arm implant after this one, even just since it doesn’t last quite as long.
@mrskoz428 I experienced lack of drive and difficulty losing weight on the arm implant. I was also depressed, but I'm certain now I had PPD. So that could've contributed to the other effects, too. After getting off of it, I gained more weight (due to antidepressants), so not losing wouldn't be a deterrent for me this time. I really don't have any legit complaints from it. It didn't bother me being in my arm, I didn't get any infections that made me infertile (like the IUD 🙄) and all of the side effects I had were still there when it was removed and replaced with the copper IUD, so I believe they were unrelated. I didn't have a period for about 3-4 months after discontinuing breast feeding, BUT it did make me feel like I was pregnant every. Single. Month .😂
@mrskoz428 My DDs are 3 years, 4 months apart, and that age gap is great. They still love to play together, and DD1 is old & big enough that she can help DD2 with the things she can't quite do yet.
My siblings and I have large age gaps (6 years and 5 years), because my parents waited until the older one started kindergarten before having the next, and as kids we still played together occasionally, but we also babysat each other and were much more helpful that way. I know a TON of people who do a 2-year age gap, but 3 has worked great for us.
@brie_and_almonds I technically have two older half sisters. They are 12 and 13.5 years older than me. I was 5 when the youngest of the two went to college. Honestly, it sucked. I still don’t feel very close to them. I love them but we don’t “hang out” like I feel siblings should. DH and his brother are 3.5 years apart and I really like that age gap. His oldest brother was a senior when he was a freshman. A little build in protection! 😂
We have a 3 year 4 month age gap between the boys and this one will be 3 years 4 months (ish) younger than ds2. I was originally not sold on waiting 3 years between, but ended up loving it. The boys really started to develop their independence around 3 so it was and has been a little easier on me, and they still play so well together despite the age gap.
We’ve always wanted a bigger family. My SO would be fine stopping at 3 but I would rather have somewhere around 4 to 6. But of course I wouldn’t have more if he wasn’t on board. I’m one of 4 and love being in a big family, he has one sibling and they aren’t close. We also have my HG to contend with; as much as I love kids and want more bio babies we may be looking at fostering to adopt in the future as a way to grow our family outside of pregnancy.
We are done, I turned 40 about 5 weeks after I found out I was pregnant, I also struggled for a year to get pregnant with this baby. I have a girl that is 3 and this little boy we are having will be it for us. If I were younger I would consider another one, but that is not how life worked out for us. We are super grateful to be in the game as we felt this pregnancy might never happen.
We have a combined four kiddos from other relationships now and this little one makes #5. We are done, done, done. But super excited for this adventure we get to share together!
We are like 98% sure this is our last. It's our 3rd boy and although I am excited to have him, it's hard giving up on the girl dream. BUT I would never keep having kids just to see if we got a girl because at this point I'm pretty sure we won't haha. Thinking about sending 3 kids through college is daunting enough lol. We have always said 2 or 3.. here is our "or 3"
We are likely done after this. We won’t do anything permanent but won’t try like before. This baby was difficult to conceive (secondary infertility & miscarriage) so we aren’t closing the door completely But a 3rd would def be a surprise 😂
150% done. For one, I am 38 years old. For two, it took a long time to get my head and also DH on board with number two. I absolutely hated being pregnant and DH was worried about the financial aspects of two in daycare full-time. I thought we were one and done but I could not get it out of my head about not giving my daughter a sibling as much as I tried to focus on the benefits of one. DH finally got on board for basically a one month hail mary when we took a trip away this past August, which landed us where we are today.
I still hate being pregnant this time around and cannot wait to be done. I will be getting my tubes tied at my RCS unless by some miracle I have a successful VBAC.
Re: Planning on Final Baby?
As for the how, not 100% sure. Since I got pregnant this time taking the pill correctly (original plan was to try for a 3rd child as my loans were paid off) that is definitely out of the question. Dh is more than willing to have a vasectomy if it means no condoms, but I am considering having my tubes removed (apparently my OB says they can’t always remove them, but if they can she tries to because it may reduce the risk of ovarian cancer). I have to do more research because it that’s the case then I will go this way because ovarian cancer runs in my family (my dad was BRCa positive) and anything I can do to reduce risk I am open to. But i still need to research more about the side effects afterwards, before I make any decisions.
My siblings and I have large age gaps (6 years and 5 years), because my parents waited until the older one started kindergarten before having the next, and as kids we still played together occasionally, but we also babysat each other and were much more helpful that way. I know a TON of people who do a 2-year age gap, but 3 has worked great for us.
I still hate being pregnant this time around and cannot wait to be done. I will be getting my tubes tied at my RCS unless by some miracle I have a successful VBAC.
DD2- EDD 5/12/2019