Questions for STM+s Week of 12/26

jusgigi · December 2018

let the questions roll!

jusgigi · December 2018

The last thread was from the begining of the month so i thought i would start a new one instead of posting in an old one.

I have to question about baby items. Is there a particular baby swing and/or baby monitor that you would recommend.

i would like a swing that can plug into the wall. I was thinking about getting the Graco simple sway swing but found a lot of bad reviews about the motor giving out so now im not sure what to get.
i would like a monitor that has the ability to have atleast two cameras and if it had the ability to see from phones as well that would be great.

chloe97 · December 2018

@justharrison We have the Graco Duet Swing and Rocker https://www.gracobaby.com/en-US/duetsoothe-swing-rocker-103662 and we really liked it. Keep in mind, you can only use the swing from the time they are about 4 weeks until about 6 months, so unless you have a baby that needs to be in the swing constantly, I don't see you using it enough for the motor to wear out. After I went back to work, DH used it all the time to occupy DD while he was trying to get work done. She loved it and took many naps in it (not AAP approved for safe sleep, but we were okay with it as long as we were with her and watching her the whole time).

optbaby2017 · December 2018

@justharrison We also have a Graco that is a glider and cab come off as a bouncer (but never used it that way as we had a different cheapo vibrating bouncer/lounger thing). The glider plugs in and if you use it as a bouncer that part takes batteries. We got ours in really good condition used for way less than new. I had wanted a 4Moms Mamaroo, but when we put DD in our friend's she hated it, so I was glad to have "settled" for the glider, which she did like.

DuchessOfCambridge · December 2018

@justharrison I had registered for a Graco glider swing thing but my friend ended up giving me a Mamaroo instead. DS loved it, it did plug into the wall. I didn't initially register for it because it's so expensive. I don't have anything else to compare it to, but it was a big hit over here.

I don't know if you can use this with your phone, but we have this Infant Optics monitor and will buy a second camera for it when we need to. I'm not positive about this, but my understanding for monitors that you can see on your phone is that they do so through WiFi. We were very against any monitor with a WiFi connection because of all those stories of monitors getting hacked by creeps - one pretty recently: https://www.newser.com/story/268781/guy-hacks-baby-monitor-threatens-to-kidnap-baby.html

jusgigi · December 2018

@chloe97 and @optbaby2017 thanks! I had seen that one and liked it so ill just get that one.
@DuchessOfCambridge wow i didnt realize thats how those monitors worked with the phones! Thanks so much, i will definitely steer clear of those types.

teesmee · December 2018

@justharrison we had the 4 moms swing (a step down from the mamaroo) and our daughter loved it. It plugs in and also had an aux cord connection that allowed you to play music from your phone. We barely used the music but I do have an awesome video of our daughter awake listening to lullabies and my husband asleep on the floor next to her 😂

DuchessOfCambridge · December 2018

@teesmee

kmw611 · December 2018

@justharrison I had the Fisher-Price Cradle 'n Swing when I had my son (he's 2.5 now) we used it for probably 5-6 months before packing it away. My husband's sister borrowed it for her surprise baby last year and used it another 5-6 months and now it's at my moms for my brother's son when she watches him M-F, he's 3 months old now. It's still working great and I'll use it again with my son due 5/5. All the kids have loved it.

For a monitor im with @DuchessOfCambridge in that I didn't want anything that connected to wifi just in case. I have a different version of the infant optics, probably an older one. We may look at replacing it eventually when baby boy goes into his own room.

eatinwatermelonseeds · December 2018

I feel like we talked about this once. We've definitely talked about natural birth, but I can't remember if we discussed this particular method.

Has anyone used hypnobirthing? I was looking into Bradley, but as much as I love my husband I just don't think he'd be able to live up to the role that he'd need to take. I'd rather do something that is "me-centered" and he can help where he feels compelled. I'm reading a book about it now, Amazon music has some playlists.

cwell2016 · December 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds I'm a FTM, but two of my good friends had babies in the last 3 months and both did hypnobirthing and really recommended it for the exact reason you mentioned. They wanted their own plan and have their partners help when they wanted. They used an app, but I'm not sure which, I just asked them!

chloe97 · December 2018

Has anyone used one of the pram kits for strollers? Is the pram better in any way than just buying a car seat attachment to put the infant seat on the stroller?

For moms of older kids- is it worth it to spend money on new furniture for my toddlers big girl room? Right now debating between used pottery barn stuff and buying new from a furniture store for $450? Since she could use this furniture til she leaves the house, I feel like we should just buy good stuff that will last 20 years. Any thoughts?

optbaby2017 · December 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds I did Hypnobabies with DD1 and highly recommend it. I won't claim that I was 100% pain free, but part of the thing is teaching your brain to register the pain as discomfort instead, and that's probably how I would describe it. I had ~52hrs from first real contraction to baby, and never once thought about an epidural. I also felt great after birth (despite a tear) and really only took tylenol because everyone was insisting that I was going to be in pain. I was up walking an hour after birth, not to mention during labor.

I will warn that it is quite a time investment to learn. Like an hour of homework/practice per day through your entire 3rd tri, in addition to the 6wks of class (some of that can be done while you multitask, some is dedicated time). And ideally DH comes to class and helps with some of the homework a few days per week. But during the actual birth, he can be as active or not as you/he prefer. Like, I sent DH to work one of the days I was in labor at home and honestly would have been unaware if he stepped out of the room for a few when we were at the hospital

sleepy33 · December 2018

@chloe97 I didn't use a pram attachment with my son but I really want one for this baby. Part of fiance's job is running a city pool and he spends a ton of time there during the summer months, hence I will be, too. I've heard that the pram attachments are more comfortable/cooler for summer babies for napping when you're out and about, so I am definitely looking at combos that have them. Plus, I just think they look cute.

eatinwatermelonseeds · December 2018

@optbaby2017 unfortunately there are no classes in my area. I think the closest is an hour and a half away and I had difficulty getting my husband to go do something 25 minutes away last weekend 😂 but I have the book and I found tapes and I'm hoping to teach myself. Do you think doing hypnobirthing changed what you packed in your hospital bag by much? Like, I plan to take headphones this time (I didn't last) but anything else that was helpful specifically for hypnobirthing?

DuchessOfCambridge · December 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds I did Bradley and actually really liked it. It helped H learn more about everything happening to me and he WAS a good advocate for me. Basically a husband doula, just made sure I was getting what I wanted when I would forget in the midst of pain. However, I do want to try hypnobirthing this time around. I have only heard good things from those who took it seriously. My issue is that I tend to be a skeptic with things like that and I don't know if I could commit to the time necessary. I really have heard good things though.

@chloe97 my stroller came with a bassinet attachment and I used it ALL THE TIME. I wouldn't necessarily get it if driving us your primary way of getting around, but I much preferred it for walks. Definitely more comfortable, definitely better naps. Well us it again for walks or if we decide to wlak to brunch and stuff. I'm so excited it'll be warm weather with this baby! I still used it plenty with my winter baby but I lived in a city at the time too and took public transport vs cars.

eatinwatermelonseeds · December 2018

@DuchessOfCambridge i think taking a Bradley method class could be great for H, but I worry about my expectations of him after that and his ability to live up to that. I feel like it's a lot of pressure to put on him and if I don't have a back up he could end up feeling overwhelmed or I could end up feeling like he didn't do enough.

I've already started reading a book on hypnobirthing and I really like it so far. I am a little skeptical but I do believe that the words we use can change our outlook immensely on things and that's where I'm at in the book. Like, you call contractions surges, and don't discuss pain, or "horror stories" of birthing. It's interesting. I feel pretty excited about this so at least for now I feel like I can keep up with the commitment of teaching myself and learning it.

chloe97 · December 2018

@sleepy33 and @DuchessOfCambridge The floor model City’s select lux we are looking at comes with it and I’m using it as a selling point to DH (ie $900 worth of stroller for $579). He didn’t think we’d use the pram, but we live in a very walkable community with a pool and grocery, restaurants, Starbucks, library all within 2-7 blocks. We used our stroller 3-4 times a week this past summer and I was working Ft, so I’m sure we will use it a lot. I like this stroller too bc it comes with a riding board for when DD is old enough to think she can walk somewhere, but gets tired still.

optbaby2017 · December 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds So, I did Hypnobabies, not Hypnobirthing. Hypnobabies was created by a former Hypnobirthing birthing instructor who felt that that class was incomplete and that she could improve on some things that people didn't like about it (I think she had also at least researched a lot about Bradley and Lamaze, because there are elements of that in there, too). If you Google you can find a lot of articles/videos about the subtle differences of the various ones; I'm pretty sure there's one on the Hypnobabies site, too. Hypnobabies has a self-study course that you can get from their website, if there is no class near you. I know that the instructor who did mine will also do a one-session tutoring thing for people who self-study or people who are on baby #2 who are going to just refresh themselves, so that might be an option, too. Or do it yourself and let DH choose to be active in the process or not; one person in my class had a partner who traveled a lot for work, so she brought her sister when he couldn't come to class and either they would do homework over the phone or she was able to get recordings of the things he was supposed to be reading to her.

As far as your question, since I was a ftm I can't really say if it changed what I packed. We brought our book and I had my headphones on or phone blaring the tracks the whole time, otherwise no special Hypnobabies tools. Part of Hypnobabies is pre-visualizing your birth and thinking about what you can control that will make you feel better during birth. So I did a good amount of work thinking thru a birthplan and also talking about my preferences with DH (little things like lights low, quiet voices, wanting my water bottle/pillow/clothes and not the hospital stuff). But that's also my personality, so I might have done that anyway.

eatinwatermelonseeds · December 2018

@optbaby2017 I'm honestly nervous because my first birth progressed super quickly, which had an affect on how I processed the pain. It was insane and so difficult to control. I had one contraction and then we left the house, by the time I got to the hospital I was in transition. It was scary and I wasn't prepared for that. I honestly don't know if I'll even have time to really labor at the hospital. I'm half expecting to just go there, lay on the bed and push out a baby 😂 probably unrealistic but it was crazy the first time and that was 7 hours (once I got the epidural things slowed WAY down). I'm mostly just trying to prepare myself because I know I didn't progress at a normal rate the first time and I lost control fast. I want to be in control this time. And I know every labor is different.

optbaby2017 · December 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds I totally feel you! Depending on how you start counting, my labor with DD was either 52hrs (first real contraction), 6hrs (when contractions stopped playing games and consistently did the longer, stronger, closer together thing), or less than 3hrs (water breaking and leaving for the hospital). I triaged at 8.5cm and 100% effaced. Less than an hour after getting to my room the nurse suggested that I try to use the bathroom. I told her that I felt the head, and DD was born one good contraction and a few deep breaths later. Like the doc was running into the room half awake @3am as she was on her way out. I'm almost preparing for a car birth this time!

DuchessOfCambridge · December 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds that's a good point, I didn't necessarily expect very much of H, he basically just kept me on track of what he knew I wanted (pushed back on csection, asked me multiple times if I definitely wanted an epidural, etc) which was essentially all the support I needed from him. He would ask Drs to slow down when they tried to ask me too many things or make me make too many decisions. As far as labor actually went, he was useless apart from understanding I was in pain and if I said hop to it, he did, and he didn't complain once that the room was freezing, just put on a jacket. I was very comfortable 😂

eatinwatermelonseeds · December 2018

@optbaby2017 my contractions were 4 minutes apart and strong immediately. I knew when I was in early labor (so I guess my labor was longer, but it wasn't painful at all), it was exactly the same as I'd been experiencing for at least a month lol. That stopped and then active labor hit. I didn't even really labor at home when I was in active labor because I was a little scared. I timed 3? Contractions. This time I'm thinking we'll have to do the same thing and get DS care and get us to the hospital asap. But I don't particularly want to. I just also don't particularly want to give birth in my car 😂

eatinwatermelonseeds · December 2018

OH @optbaby2017 this is probably a dumb question, but with all the practice with hypnobabies, did you feel right away that you were in labor and then had to get in the hypno-mindset from there, or would you say you were already in the mindset so it was dulled a bit from the start?

optbaby2017 · December 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds Hypnobabies has a concept they call light-switch. So when you are 100% out of hypnosis, going about your daily life, the light switch is on. When you need max "hypno-anasthesia" the switch is off. If you need some numbing, but also want to walk around or scratch an itch or whatever, you can move your switch to the center. With practice you can turn your switch from on to off pretty quickly, and I had literally been practicing it daily for months, so it was fairly second nature. The mp3 tracks and DH had cue words to help encourage this, also. During the first 40-some hrs of my labor I would turn my switch on/off/center as I needed. I used off to take some naps and sleep as much as I could at night. We did a very long walk around the neighborhood in center-switch one of the evenings. The last six or so hours I would turn the switch all the way off for contractions and stay in center between.

mcewen3 · December 2018

@chloe97 with 2 summer babies so far, and another one on the way, I LOVED the pram attachment. I actually sold my first one because I was in a purge mode and certain we were done having kids but I still have our city select. I found one in brand new condition on FB Marketplace for a significant discount from new. They don’t really last too long (my kids were both done with the pram by 3-4 months, depending what we were doing) so used ones are typically in excellent shape.

mcewen3 · December 2018

@chloe97 in regards to furniture, I think it all depends on how you think your child will care for the furniture from this stage forward. We have opted to go with decent quality, but not too expensive stuff for our girls until they get a bit older. They are good kids, but at only 5 & 3 they are sometimes mischievous and I really wouldn’t put some stuff past them (like stickers all over the bed, or god forbid a sharpie 🙈). I doubt it will happen, but I know that with more inexpensive stuff I will handle any incidents like that more appropriately. I received a really nice bedroom suite when I was 11 and I still have it today. It’s a gorgeous solid maple set that should last for decades still. My brother also got a nice bedroom suite around the same time and has his in his new home as well. So we’ve decided to do something similar for our kids. Less expensive furniture until they are old enough to understand what they’re getting then pick out a timeless set that they can take with them into adulthood

ashleaf2018 · December 2018

The main thing I’ve found with car seat vs bassinet in the stroller is that car seats are not tested for sleep safety and baby needs to be removed every 2 hours to help prevent blood clots. It’s benefit vs risk, obviously in the car the greatest risk is not being in a car seat. But outside the car it’s safer not to use the car seat and to babywear or use a bassinet if available, as well as more convenient being that baby can safely sleep while being worn and in the bassinet and doesn’t have to be removed every 2 hours. We baby wore with DS1 for that reason. With DS2 we will likely end up with an Uppababy Vista and use the bassinet as well as wear him occasionally.

DuchessOfCambridge · December 2018

@ashleaf2018 I have heard the car seat is only really a risk if not used in the stroller or in the car. I wouldn't really let DS nap in the car seat if we were home unless he was clicked into the stroller. Something about the angle? That's what I read last time but not 100% sure it's accurate.

kmw611 · December 2018

@DuchessOfCambridge that's what I thought too. I have never heard baby needs to be removed every 2 hours to prevent blood clots.

expandcontract · December 2018

@DuchessOfCambridge from what I was taught in my carseat class, it's not safe to let baby sleep in a carseat when not in a car due to risk of suffocation and overheating. Obviously, in the car, the risk of an accident is higher than that of suffocation.

anonellis · December 2018

I was obsessed with the bassinet attachment to my uppababy (I assume that’s what we’re talking about when we say pram?) ESPECIALLY if you take a lot of walks that don’t involve getting in the car first.

For safety, I thought the car seat in the stroller was fine because you were literally looking at the baby the whole time. I was taught that if you got home and the baby was asleep in the car seat in the stroller, that was the time you needed to transfer. One of my favorite things about the pram attachment was I could just leave the babies in it if they fell asleep out and about and not worry about it. I never heard anything about needing to get out every two hours, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a rule.

Also, it’s just a zillion times easier than strapping and unstrapping them, it makes the stroller a LOT lighter (I had twins so with two car seats you could feel a difference pushing them around), and the babies definitely slept better in that than in the car seat. And agree with those who said it’s cooler — my babies got SO sweaty outside in their car seats.

The only time we left them In their car seats instead of the bassinets were if we flew somewhere, or if we were running a quick errand in and out of the car.

sleepy33 · December 2018

Also to add, my kiddo almost certainly never napped in his carseat longer than 2 hours anyway, lol.

chloe97 · December 2018

According to HealthyChildren.org : If your baby falls asleep in a car seat, stroller, swing, infant carrier, or sling, you should move him or her to a firm sleep surface on his or her back as soon as possible. I'm assuming that is referring to at home and not when you are out and about whether in car seat or stroller. In my mind, it's like when the baby falls asleep in rock and play or swing- as long as you are with them and watching their breathing, it's okay- but never let a baby sleep in his/her car seat when you are not in his/her presence, monitoring breathing. I don't think blood clots are the issue- it's suffocation risk/

We bought the City Select Lux with the Pram (bassinet) attachment! I do like the idea of him riding on a flat surface and being able to bring him inside and leave him sleeping in the pram, but with a 2-year-old and a dog running around, I won't be able to leave him on the floor- so I am not sure if that will help us much. The attachment for our stroller is $60, so I am debating whether we should buy it or not.

expandcontract · December 2018

@chloe97 $60 doesn't sound bad at all. I'd get it. And yes, I, too have never heard of blood clots being an issue.

mcewen3 · December 2018

@chloe97 which attachment do you mean? When my girls were small we had a really big square coffee table so I would set the bassinet in the centre of the table when we’d come in from a walk. It kept the dog’s nose out of it and sister learnt quickly to leave her be.

chloe97 · December 2018

@mcewen3 the car seat attachment for our Chicco key fit.

poshspice · December 2018

Question for STM+s or moms with older kids:

Do I need the toddler conversion rail sold by the crib manufacturer? You know, the wooden piece that costs anywhere from $50-$100? DD is still good in her crib, so we haven't crossed this bridge yet. I don't think we bought it for her crib, and I was just planning to do that fabric covered generic kind you can just add on to any bed when she's ready for the toddler bed. Is the wooden kind that is made for the crib conversion any better? Is ti worth the money or not so much?

eatinwatermelonseeds · December 2018

@poshspice we just got the fabric kind, but actually those say not to use on toddler beds. We're just rebels, I guess. He fell on the floor when we didn't use it 😂 and we weren't paying a ton of money for the little attachment. Worked perfectly fine for a while until he started climbing in with us.

DuchessOfCambridge · December 2018

@chloe97 sort of random info since you don't have this stroller but the uppababy bassinet attachment can also be used for overnight sleep. They sell a stand for it because it does not have a firm bottom (collapses for storage) but the stand was over $100! Our bassinet was cheaper than that 😂

sleepy33 · December 2018

@poshspice we did the mesh kind, and I do think it was necessary for the first couple years.

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