@poshspice we also did the mesh kind but my son is in a twin bed my husband built him so we can use the convertible crib for baby boy when he's out of a bassinet.
@chloe97 ahh! My brain isn’t working at all today. For me, I definitely did use both the car seat attachment and the bassinet. But I think it really depends on your lifestyle. We don’t live in a really walkable area. I mean, we can go for leisure walks but we don’t walk to shop or to restaurants, etc. So when I was running errands around town or in the city, having the car seat adapter was super convenient. I mostly used the bassinet for neighbourhood/trail walks or for longer outings where we weren’t in and out of the car frequently.
@chloe97 I did not have a bassinet attachment, but did have a stroller that laid 100% flat so that it could be used for newborns. DD hated being laid flat in it (still does at 17mon), even when we tried padding it, regardless of whether she was strapped in, etc. The carseat did attach and she liked riding like that. Maybe it was about not being able to see me. Maybe she just hates being flat and moving. 🤷♀️ So, I would recommend that you get the adapter. It was super handy to move her between the stroller and car.
@poshspice crib-company side rails are not necessary. We used a pool noodle under the sheet, which cost about $1. My girls did fall out once or twice (can't remember if that was with the noodle or not), but never enough to get hurt... occasionally they slept right through.
And who or how many did you allow to visit in the hospital?
We are starting to be questioned on those things or people are making statements that they will be there either visiting or in the room! Makes me a little uncomfortable but wanted some experienced answers before i say anything.
@poshspice we bought the crib conversion rail. I’m not sure we would have been able to convert the crib without it. One whole side needed to be removed and that piece was replaced with the rail. It was kind of pricey but it does make the bed look super cute for my 3 yo.
@bumbly_b I would definitely think about what you’ll be comfortable with. I had my husband, mom, sister, and MIL in the room when I delivered. That wasn’t necessarily the plan but everyone was there and bringing good energy and support and in hindsight think I couldn’t have done it without all of them.
In the room after my daughter was born, my whole family including all my nieces and nephews were there within the hour. We have a close family so for me that was totally cool. I was sitting in the hospital bed just looking around feeling so blessed that everyone was there to welcome our girl to the world (while also scarfing a sub sandwich!)
I know for many people that wouldn’t have been a comfortable situation so I would just say to try to determine what your comfort level is with the people who are potentially going to be there and just be open to changing that if you are feeling more or less comfortable with it at the time. Also, just do what makes you happy. You’re the one who’s going to be putting in all the work so do what you gotta do to make that as comfortable for you as possible! There is no wrong way to do it as long as you are good with it!
@bumbly_b. I only had my DH and wouldn't have wanted anyone else there. As far as visiting, we just asked people to call first. You have to decide what you are comfortable with and don't let anyone you don't want in the delivery room weasel their way in. (The nurses will keep them out if they know.)
@knarlytaurus We had a doula for both births and she was amazing. I would love to have one for this birth but we can’t afford it with me not working. Also I kinda feel like I have done it twice now with no pain medication and my last birth was only 3.5 hours. But there is a small part of me that worries things won’t go as smoothly as before.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
@DuchessOfCambridge we bought that uppababy stand...two of them 😳 They were expensive but those were what our twins slept in until they were like 6 months old and we finally got around to buying cribs and moving them into their nursery. Stuff like that actually has decent resale value bc it’s wood and doesn’t really get damaged at all. As compared to the uppababy bassinets which are basically given away for free in all the local groups I’m in.
@bumbly_b So keep in mind, there is the laboring part and then the pushing/delivering part. During labor, if you get an epidural, there’s a lot of waiting around and chilling. Sure, the nurses/Drs etc come into check your cervix etc, but for this most part it’s pretty relaxed and you just shoot the shit with the nurses and your husband. At that point, we had DHs parents and sister and my parents were around for awhile. When things got real, we made them leave. I had an emergency c-section, so they could not have been there any way. I personally wanted DH to have supportive people in the hospital in case anything went wrong. He’s not strong and he would have shut down if he had to make a decision, so I needed my mom there to help make decisions. But it was fine if she’s out in the waiting room- someone could grab her if we needed her.
As far as hospital visitors- you just have to play by ear. The first day, our parents all came to meet the baby. Keep in mind thy modesty is likely out the window. You spend most of you recovery with your boob s our doing skin to skin, trying to breastfeed and pump. I mean, I would cover up if DHs uncle (a Dr at the hospital) popped in, but MIL came and stayed for hours and I just basically told her she was going to be seeing a lot of boobs. Reserve the right to cancel a visit if you need sleep. I personally would only allow close family to visit in the hospital. Friends and more distant relatives could come see us after we got home.
@bumbly_b I just had my husband there. My in laws showed up 15 minutes before he came, but they stayed in the waiting room until he was born and then visited for a few hours after. H's boss came. This time I expect my mom to fly in, but who knows. She didn't last time because I told her she couldn't be in the room, and nothing has changed this time. Best friend, mom w/ DS, and in laws will visit after.
@anonellis it makes sense in terms of having less stuff, for sure! I really like the UppaBaby stroller but they make me CRAZY with how much you have to spend on everything extra. I just looked at converting ours from a single to a double and it's basically the cost of a new, budget stroller. I'm so annoyed about it. They're lucky it's an awesome stroller. I've pushed some bad ones and I didn't realize what a difference they make.
@bumbly_b check with your hospital. I can't remember if I was allowed one or two people in the labor/delivery room...I think it was two but I really am not sure. I only wanted DH anyway. My parents had to drive three hours to us and I told them not to come until baby was born which was really good because I labored for about 24 hours, pushed for 4, then had a c-section at midnight. They would have been waiting forEVER. We didn't give anyone the option of being in the waiting room and no one asked. DS was in the NICU so people were really mindful of asking to visit. I did want some company by then but I was also a hot mess so we limited who we allowed. Please don't forget - this is YOUR birth and YOUR baby, you get to call the shots. You've got a lifetime ahead of you where people will tell you what's best for your child and they can't do that - only you can! Don't let anyone push you around and don't be afraid to be firm and get the birth experience you want. I got pressured into allowing students into my room last time (my hospital is a teaching hospital) and it made my experience much more stressful. I'm putting my foot down with this baby.
@bumbly_b I only had DH in the room for delivery. With DD1 my mom visited right after they finished stitching me up. And my best friend stopped by a little later that day when she saw my name on the patient board (she worked in the hospital). We didn’t have any visitors with DD2, but I delivered her in the middle of the night (1:07am) and went straight to sleep once I was able. When I woke up for the day I basically got cleaned up, packed up and left the hospital by lunchtime. We were there just over 12 hours so rather than have ppl come to us at the hospital they were just waiting at our house when we got home that afternoon.
Does the hospital provide all the forms for birth certificate and ss card? Or do i need to pick them up prior and fill them out? DHs work said we have 4 wks from the time of birth to provide a birth cert to get the baby on the insurance or we will have to wait until the next open enrollment (which is january).
@justharrison my hospital provided everything. A social worker went around and explained all the paperwork and the process and then came back later to make sure we had signed. She took it from us and gave us a birth certificate before we left. And yes, generally you have 30 days following a "life event" to add someone to insurance, don't delay on that! H went and did it while we were still in the hospital because it was walking distance to his office.
ETA: I'm pretty certain SS card was mailed to us but we did the paperwork at the hospital
@bumbly_b there were more than 20 people in the room when I gave birth due to complications, twins, and med students. I only had my husband and my doula (I STRONGLY recommend a doula). I would not have wanted more people there mainly because, as others have said, there is a lot of waiting around and the last thing I would have wanted was to feel rushed or pressured or like anyone was waiting for me. I had a hard time with pushing and imagine I would have kicked people out at that point, and then felt guilty bc by that point I’d been in the hospital for like 24 hours.
I want to advise limiting hospital visitors but at the same time, I was pretty excited to show off my babies and don’t remember minding so much. If you’re the type of person who is comfortable firmly expressing what you need (like, would you be able to tell someone “thanks so much for coming but we need to nap now,” or “would you mind stepping out for a few minutes when the lactation consultant gets here,” I think visitors are fine. I had a much harder time limiting them once we were actually home.
Another thing about hospital visitors: at that point, you're still being taken care of by nurses and such. When you get home, that ends. My friends were great about getting up to get themselves water, and whatever else they wanted at my house when they came to visit instead of asking me to do it but I know many moms who were expected to "host".
@bumbly_b our hospital only allows 2 visitors for labor and delivery (to minimize infection risk) so you may want to check their policy. I had my mom and dh for ds1, but ds2 was a c section so just dh was allowed. Both times we had our parents visit and ds1 visited, but that was it. Since both were c sections I was in the hospital 4+ days and still would not have wanted more visitors than that. Can’t tell you how many times the baby fell asleep and I couldn’t nap because everyone was there lol.
@bumbly_b My mom was with me for my entire 36 hour labor and delivery including my eventual csection. She cut my son's umbilical cord. My SIL works at the obgyn office in the hospital so she stopped by a few times while I was in labor and my dad came right before I went in for the csection. After my younger brother and SIL visited but my older brother was deployed. My great aunt happened to be in Washington visiting at the time so she visited the last day I was in the hospital and a couple family friends visited but I kept it limited because I hemorrhaged and we had a hard time getting it under control. My son's father also visited once after the bleeding stopped.
My husband and I are shooting for a HBAC this time and likely will be just us, my son and the midwife at home. If he's at drill when I go into labor (he's scheduled to be gone on my due date) my best friend and my sister in law will be there with probably their babies since my bestie is due in March and my SIL has a 3 month old.
Edited for spelling and adding plans for this time
@bumbly_b You have already received a lot of great advice. I had only DH in the room during labor and delivery. We had originally talked about telling family when we were going to the hospital, knowing that I wanted to labor at home as much as possible. But we went in at 1am and DD was born at 3am, so we decided to wait until morning. I am glad that we decided to not tell everyone when contractions started, because I could not have handled 48hrs of "is she here yet?" calls and texts. My mom was insulted when we told her that this was the plan, but she got over it. We texted/called family ~9am and my parents and sister/BIL visited later that afternoon. DH's family is all out of town, but if they were in town we would have allowed his parents and siblings, too. We scheduled other visitors once we were home. I'll echo what others have said about knowing your own comfort and not letting people pressure you into something you don't want. And also, whomever said to only allow people who you don't feel like you have to host and who won't get pissy if you set a limit and kick them out.
@knarlytaurus I really wish I had / could have a doula. DH did fairly well and I had a great nurse who was super supportive of my birth plan. But I know that this birth could be totally different and it would be nice to have the extra support and knowledge. Unfortunately it wasn't financially an option for us last time, and would be a stretch this time. I've heard that some insurance plans (our state MA, for sure) cover doulas. Mine doesn't. :-(
@justharrison We filled out some paperwork at the hospital that was applying for the birth certificate and SS card. They then lost it, and called a few days after discharge for us to do it again over the phone before the state deadline (I think they had to submit it like 3 business days after the birth or something). The SS card was mailed. Birth certificate I had to go pick up and pay for at the DMV. To get DD on insurance, was different for both of our companies, so check with your HR. For my company, I just emailed HR with her name and birth date. For DH's, we had to give a copy of the birth certificate. Maybe because the medical is through my company, so they could verify that they had already been paying for prenatal, my birthing hospital bill, my short-term disability, etc? You do have 30 days to get them the info, but the hospital will surely send you a bill before then, and if the hospital doesn't have the insurance info for baby that bill is going to be quite the shock!
Thanks for the crib rail recommendations, everyone!
@bumbly_b definitely check with your hospital on their limit for having people in the delivery room. My hospital allowed up to 4 people, but if you don't want people in there, the nurses are more than happy to kick people out for you.
@justharrison my hospital provided all the documents needed to complete for the birth certificate and SSN. They told us that it would be ready at a courthouse(?) to pick up a week after they filed the paperwork. I also had a hospital staff person whose job it was to hound me to make sure we completed all the paperwork before we left the hospital. Insurance typically allows 30 days from the date of the qualifying life event (such as birth or adoption of a child) for adding the child to the insurance plan. I would have your husband go ahead and let the HR person know right away and they can start the request with the insurance company, or whoever they need to contact. Insurance companies are usually pretty lenient when adding new babies, so I think as long as they get the request in on time, you're fine if they need to chase paper. My DD's birth certificate was ready when they said it would be, so if your state is like mine, you'd have plenty of time to get a copy in to the insurance company by the deadline.
I was very strict about not having anyone else at the hospital when I was in labor and delivering. I have a very big and close family, as well. I've seen in the past when my sisters or aunts delivered how crazy it was for them to have so many people there.
My mom kept bugging me that she wanted to be in the waiting room but I didn't need the pressure of knowing she was out there waiting. We didn't tell anyone anything until after my daughter arrived. We had some complications with DD's heart rate dropping and having to use a vacuum. So afterwards when family found out about this I did get a lot of grief because they said at least they would have prayed for us. I suppose that's true but that depends on how spiritual you are.
The way I saw it, I didn't need people texting and calling my husband to receive updates when he should really be focused only on me and not be interrupted. I also didn't want any visitors after DD arrived. This is basically the last time you get to have some time to yourself before you go home and the 24/7 responsibility starts. I had labored for 3/4 days and pushed for two hours. I needed to rest up. I took advantage of letting the nurses take care of DD when possible.
In addition, if you're going to BF, you pretty much have your boobs out the entire time. Or a nurse is coming to check on your wounds (if you have any) and push on / painfully massage your stomach to make sure all of the placenta is out.
On top of that you have a constant stream of doctors, technicians, registration people, lactation professionals coming in and out: -My OB would check on me everyday. -DD's pediatrician does exams each day. -Birth certificate/SSN registration people -Psychiatrist/Psychologist (to talk about PPD) -Tech to do baby's hearing test (which is not quick) -Lactation specialists come multiple times depending on how much help you need This is all in addition to the constant nurse checks you get. So between all that, you barely get enough time to sleep, as it is.
Then, when we got home. I still didn't want any visitors. I delivered on Monday night and my parents and sisters werent allowed to come until that Saturday. When they did come, it was crazy. They all ended up coming at once and it ended up being like a party. In a way, it was nice because we got it all done in one shot. But you always have your few inconsiderate relatives. So you have to be strong and speak up for yourself when you need a time-out.
Keep in mind, I was able to do things this way because I'd already taken care of a lot of babies and kids, growing up in a big family. So, I didn't need help learning to change a diaper, or bathe or swaddle the baby, etc.
Big help is if your friends or family bring over food for you and your partner AND if they offer to help wash the dishes or do some laundry. You are not going to want to host in a time when you're supposed to be healing. Also, try not to worry about making yourself look pretty for them or cleaning up the house.
ETA: OMG, that was really long! Im sorry. But i hope it helps you prepare.
@cwell2016 thanks! I know for a lot of people they want privacy but I was happy and just wanted to share it with the people I love! And the cold turkey sub from our local place was the most delicious thing I have ever eaten!
I was wrong - H took care of everything bc I was in a haze hahaha. We did do all paperwork at the hospital. SS card was mailed, he apparently left and got the birth certificate at city hall at some point 🤷
Back to the earlier convo about crib / toddler bed rails - We got our crib off Craiglist and it didn't have any rails. When our son could climb out of the crib, we just transitioned to a twin mattress on the floor. At some point we'll switch to a normal twin bed raised off the floor, but we're happy with the mattress on the floor for now.
He likes to jump on the bed, so for now when he jumps on the floor it's not quite so far of a drop. 😂.
@bumbly_b fingers crossed for you guys! I went over a week late with my son and my midwife is confident with a HBAC until 42+4 so I'm expecting to go late again with a backup if necessary.
@bumbly_b So also late to the game, but here is my input.
For DD1 I had DH and my best friend (who is also a nurse so completely comfortable with everything) with me during the actual delivery. DH was with me during the entire L&D, and both of our pastors from church visited with us while I was in labor and had the epidural placed. I was fine with all of that at the time. However, when my daughter was a year old, my best friend (who was like a sister to me) and I had a huge falling out and we didn't speak for almost a year. In that time I felt so much regret over her being at my daughter's birth, tainting the experience. Thankfully we reconciled, so I don't feel the same regret anymore, but it also solidified for me not wanting anyone but DH and necessary medical personnel at any future L&D experiences. So that's exactly how I had it for DD2 and I know I won't have any regrets.
I also had different experiences with visitors at the hospital after both girls. With DD1 it was a long labor that ended with me getting an infection and her transferred to the NICU the evening of her birth. I went through a lot hormonally and emotionally. I had several visitors (both sets of our parents, best friend and her husband, neighbor, multiple staff and friends from church) and sometimes I welcomed their presence to alleviate all I was feeling, other times I wanted to be left to cry alone. That could very well be your experience even with a simple textbook delivery because you don't know how you'll be hormonally. So definitely prepare people who you'll want to visit that you may change your mind. Now with DD2 anyone could have come to visit and me normally being a social, hospitable person welcomed it freely.
@poshspice we got the crib with the little toddler conversion rail and have only had one incident where he flipped out of bed right over it... he was fine, so this means I’m allowed to laugh hysterically at the clip I was able to capture on the nursery nest cam. 😅 We plan to move him to a big boy bed with the toddler rail attachment and convert his bed back to a crib for #2. I think the rails that go on an actual bed would be too big on the crib to work. But since we hope to get at least another 3 years or so out of one crib that converts to a toddler bed, I think the rail was worth it.
@bumbly_b just my husband. We told our families that we would let them know when we’d be ready for visitors, since we didn’t know how things would go. They were very respectful of those boundaries. My son was born around 7 pm, immediate family came to visit the next day, and we were ready to go home the following.
Regarding car seats there is actually a ton of info on the 2 hour rule out there. Our pediatrician mentioned blood clots and positional asphyxiation; this website mentions pressure on their developing spine. Either way it’s safer to only have them in the car seat in the car and to remove them from the car seat outside of the car. It’s technically not safe to use even in the stroller for an extended amount of time but obviously they sell strollers this way and people still do it so it’s kind of a “do what you will” situation. The top two websites are really more like blogs but they do link to outside sources; bottom is sponsored by the AAP.
@ashleaf2018 Obviously there is no harm in taking your baby out every 2 hours, but I wouldn’t trust the first 2 sources. As for Healthychildren.org- that’s a generalized recommendation for all kids and not just babies in infant seats. I will ask at work and see what our injury prevention expert says. I think that the biggest risk would be suffocation- but I’ve never heard anything about blood clots.
Honestly, during the newborn stage if we went on a long car trip, we had to pull over and feed him about every 2-3 hours anyway, and I nursed so he had to come out of the car seat. Otherwise, IDK, our car seat manual says it's okay for sleep when clicked into the base in the car and when clicked into the stroller due to the angle. That being said, we didn't use it as an overnight sleep thing. The only times he slept in it were if we were in the car or out in the stroller and sometimes when we came home, I wouldn't take him out until he was done napping, which was never very long because again, that 3 hour newborn cycle of eat/sleep/play. I know some babies sleep longer but we weren't allowed to do that with DS since he struggled to gain weight, we HAD to wake him up every three hours, starting timing at the beginning of his most recent feed.
Re: Questions for STM+s Week of 12/26
And who or how many did you allow to visit in the hospital?
We are starting to be questioned on those things or people are making statements that they will be there either visiting or in the room! Makes me a little uncomfortable but wanted some experienced answers before i say anything.
In the room after my daughter was born, my whole family including all my nieces and nephews were there within the hour. We have a close family so for me that was totally cool. I was sitting in the hospital bed just looking around feeling so blessed that everyone was there to welcome our girl to the world (while also scarfing a sub sandwich!)
I know for many people that wouldn’t have been a comfortable situation so I would just say to try to determine what your comfort level is with the people who are potentially going to be there and just be open to changing that if you are feeling more or less comfortable with it at the time. Also, just do what makes you happy. You’re the one who’s going to be putting in all the work so do what you gotta do to make that as comfortable for you as possible! There is no wrong way to do it as long as you are good with it!
As far as hospital visitors- you just have to play by ear. The first day, our parents all came to meet the baby. Keep in mind thy modesty is likely out the window. You spend most of you recovery with your boob s our doing skin to skin, trying to breastfeed and pump. I mean, I would cover up if DHs uncle (a Dr at the hospital) popped in, but MIL came and stayed for hours and I just basically told her she was going to be seeing a lot of boobs. Reserve the right to cancel a visit if you need sleep. I personally would only allow close family to visit in the hospital. Friends and more distant relatives could come see us after we got home.
@bumbly_b check with your hospital. I can't remember if I was allowed one or two people in the labor/delivery room...I think it was two but I really am not sure. I only wanted DH anyway. My parents had to drive three hours to us and I told them not to come until baby was born which was really good because I labored for about 24 hours, pushed for 4, then had a c-section at midnight. They would have been waiting forEVER. We didn't give anyone the option of being in the waiting room and no one asked. DS was in the NICU so people were really mindful of asking to visit. I did want some company by then but I was also a hot mess so we limited who we allowed. Please don't forget - this is YOUR birth and YOUR baby, you get to call the shots. You've got a lifetime ahead of you where people will tell you what's best for your child and they can't do that - only you can! Don't let anyone push you around and don't be afraid to be firm and get the birth experience you want. I got pressured into allowing students into my room last time (my hospital is a teaching hospital) and it made my experience much more stressful. I'm putting my foot down with this baby.
ETA: I'm pretty certain SS card was mailed to us but we did the paperwork at the hospital
I want to advise limiting hospital visitors but at the same time, I was pretty excited to show off my babies and don’t remember minding so much. If you’re the type of person who is comfortable firmly expressing what you need (like, would you be able to tell someone “thanks so much for coming but we need to nap now,” or “would you mind stepping out for a few minutes when the lactation consultant gets here,” I think visitors are fine. I had a much harder time limiting them once we were actually home.
My husband and I are shooting for a HBAC this time and likely will be just us, my son and the midwife at home. If he's at drill when I go into labor (he's scheduled to be gone on my due date) my best friend and my sister in law will be there with probably their babies since my bestie is due in March and my SIL has a 3 month old.
Edited for spelling and adding plans for this time
@bumbly_b definitely check with your hospital on their limit for having people in the delivery room. My hospital allowed up to 4 people, but if you don't want people in there, the nurses are more than happy to kick people out for you.
@justharrison my hospital provided all the documents needed to complete for the birth certificate and SSN. They told us that it would be ready at a courthouse(?) to pick up a week after they filed the paperwork. I also had a hospital staff person whose job it was to hound me to make sure we completed all the paperwork before we left the hospital. Insurance typically allows 30 days from the date of the qualifying life event (such as birth or adoption of a child) for adding the child to the insurance plan. I would have your husband go ahead and let the HR person know right away and they can start the request with the insurance company, or whoever they need to contact. Insurance companies are usually pretty lenient when adding new babies, so I think as long as they get the request in on time, you're fine if they need to chase paper. My DD's birth certificate was ready when they said it would be, so if your state is like mine, you'd have plenty of time to get a copy in to the insurance company by the deadline.
I was very strict about not having anyone else at the hospital when I was in labor and delivering. I have a very big and close family, as well. I've seen in the past when my sisters or aunts delivered how crazy it was for them to have so many people there.
My mom kept bugging me that she wanted to be in the waiting room but I didn't need the pressure of knowing she was out there waiting. We didn't tell anyone anything until after my daughter arrived. We had some complications with DD's heart rate dropping and having to use a vacuum. So afterwards when family found out about this I did get a lot of grief because they said at least they would have prayed for us. I suppose that's true but that depends on how spiritual you are.
The way I saw it, I didn't need people texting and calling my husband to receive updates when he should really be focused only on me and not be interrupted.
I also didn't want any visitors after DD arrived. This is basically the last time you get to have some time to yourself before you go home and the 24/7 responsibility starts. I had labored for 3/4 days and pushed for two hours. I needed to rest up. I took advantage of letting the nurses take care of DD when possible.
In addition, if you're going to BF, you pretty much have your boobs out the entire time. Or a nurse is coming to check on your wounds (if you have any) and push on / painfully massage your stomach to make sure all of the placenta is out.
On top of that you have a constant stream of doctors, technicians, registration people, lactation professionals coming in and out:
-My OB would check on me everyday.
-DD's pediatrician does exams each day.
-Birth certificate/SSN registration people
-Psychiatrist/Psychologist (to talk about PPD)
-Tech to do baby's hearing test (which is not quick)
-Lactation specialists come multiple times depending on how much help you need
This is all in addition to the constant nurse checks you get. So between all that, you barely get enough time to sleep, as it is.
Then, when we got home. I still didn't want any visitors. I delivered on Monday night and my parents and sisters werent allowed to come until that Saturday. When they did come, it was crazy. They all ended up coming at once and it ended up being like a party. In a way, it was nice because we got it all done in one shot. But you always have your few inconsiderate relatives. So you have to be strong and speak up for yourself when you need a time-out.
Keep in mind, I was able to do things this way because I'd already taken care of a lot of babies and kids, growing up in a big family. So, I didn't need help learning to change a diaper, or bathe or swaddle the baby, etc.
Big help is if your friends or family bring over food for you and your partner AND if they offer to help wash the dishes or do some laundry. You are not going to want to host in a time when you're supposed to be healing. Also, try not to worry about making yourself look pretty for them or cleaning up the house.
ETA: OMG, that was really long! Im sorry. But i hope it helps you prepare.
He likes to jump on the bed, so for now when he jumps on the floor it's not quite so far of a drop. 😂.
For DD1 I had DH and my best friend (who is also a nurse so completely comfortable with everything) with me during the actual delivery. DH was with me during the entire L&D, and both of our pastors from church visited with us while I was in labor and had the epidural placed. I was fine with all of that at the time. However, when my daughter was a year old, my best friend (who was like a sister to me) and I had a huge falling out and we didn't speak for almost a year. In that time I felt so much regret over her being at my daughter's birth, tainting the experience. Thankfully we reconciled, so I don't feel the same regret anymore, but it also solidified for me not wanting anyone but DH and necessary medical personnel at any future L&D experiences. So that's exactly how I had it for DD2 and I know I won't have any regrets.
I also had different experiences with visitors at the hospital after both girls. With DD1 it was a long labor that ended with me getting an infection and her transferred to the NICU the evening of her birth. I went through a lot hormonally and emotionally. I had several visitors (both sets of our parents, best friend and her husband, neighbor, multiple staff and friends from church) and sometimes I welcomed their presence to alleviate all I was feeling, other times I wanted to be left to cry alone. That could very well be your experience even with a simple textbook delivery because you don't know how you'll be hormonally. So definitely prepare people who you'll want to visit that you may change your mind. Now with DD2 anyone could have come to visit and me normally being a social, hospitable person welcomed it freely.
https://www.babysafeltd.com/safety/2-hour-rule/
https://www.romper.com/p/how-long-should-a-baby-be-in-a-car-seat-when-driving-there-are-some-guidelines-to-keep-baby-safe-8759397
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/on-the-go/Pages/Travel-Safety-Tips.aspx