People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

How I feel all of the time.
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
Re: STM Check-In w/o 12/22
7+6, blueberry. Hopefully I will get an updated EDD at my next appt, my LMP and initial US are a few days different
How old is/are you other kid(s)?
DD will be 13 months on the 25th, how is she already so big?!
Nails and fails from this week:
Survived the last week of herding cats, I mean, teaching 1st graders before the break!
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary:
Allergies. Mountain cedar, go away!
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax?
A nice warm bubble bath and a good book.
ETA to correct how far along I am.
ages of other kid: she will be 23 mo next week
nails: none. Fails: Christmas in general.
Rant rave: I’m so tired and nauseous I can barely function and I think my husband has had enough of it and is counting the days down until 2nd tri. Though he’s being nice I feel super guilty.
My go to relaxant is trash tv. Give me some good kardashians or siesta key or floribama shore pls!!!
Me 32
H 33
TTC#1 January 2016 BFP 5/16/2016 DD Born 1/27/17
TFAS: BFP 11/26/2018 Estimated due date: 8/2/2019
4 weeks and some change... a poppyseed
(I hate that I find out so early)
How old is/are you other kid(s)?
My oldest is 5, next will be turning 3 in February and the baby (for now) will be 13 months on Friday
Nails and fails from this week:
I was organized and had everyone’s outfits and schedules down for this morning so we could make it to church on time. I was part of production and had to be there by 7:30am. Felt like I nailed that!
I fail at Christmas in general. Now being nauseous makes it the fail of the year.
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary:
I’m exhausted. I’m a SAHM and the husband works thirds so I feel like a single parent during the week. Then mix in the holidays and the morning sickness from hell and I can’t believe my eyes are still opening. I don’t feel ready to deal with all that pregnancy entails this time and all I want to do is cry and whine but I can’t because you know... I have other kids. Bleh
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax?
I listen to a funny audiobook series. My go-tos are the Stephanie Plum collection by Janet Evanovich. I also play games on my phone.
How old is/are you other kid(s)? DD will be 4 Jan 19
Nails and fails from this week: Nail: Wrapped all my presents, worked out twice before exhaustion really kicked in, and went grocery shopping twice Fails: cancelled on friends twice, just decided not to make some of the Christmas cookies i planned, fell asleep during DD’s nap today and when I woke up she was out of her room running around upstairs. No idea for how long.
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary: just so so tired. And I keep going better not having any appetite to being ravenous and then sick by how much I ate.
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax? TV, video games, or going out for drinks with friends
TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15
NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
7 weeks
Nails and fails from this week: I screwed up a cookie recipe this week. Cookies weren’t baked through despite baking for longer than recipe called for. I think my oven isn’t as hot as it says it is. I don’t bake much so I’m just figuring this out now.
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary: my MIL went way overboard with presents for DD even though I told her not to get anything because we have too much stuff. I know I sound ungrateful but we don’t need more knickknacks. I can’t stand the clutter.
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax? Snuggle with DH and watch cheeses Nick Cage movies on Netflix. The more unknown and direct to TV quality, the better.
How old is/are you other kid(s)? Two
Nails and fails from this week: I'm counting survival as a nailed it.
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary: So much nausea. Yesterday I had to pull over and vomit behind a gas station. It was a close call, so I ordered some barf bags on Amazon.
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax? I'm an extroverted introvert, so I really like alone time. I put on my big fluffy fleece robe and snack while I watch TV, or read a book in bed. Hiking is also great.
How old is/are you other kid(s)? My oldest will be 3 years old in 3 weeks and my youngest is 13 months old.
Nails and fails from this week: I don't think I've nailed anything except my husband this week. Failed our announcement to my extended family last night though!
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary: Why is it okay to not be happy for people past their first child? "I'm happy for them if that's what they want." "How are you going to handle three kids?" "Was it an accident?" What the actual fuck?
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax? Heated blanket, clompy slippers, and Netflix, book, or phone game.
How old is/are you other kid(s)? DD is 3.5
Nails and fails from this week: Did at least a light workout every day and took DD to her first dance recital where she did great. I'm sure there were many fails but I can't remember.
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary: DH accidentally got pretty drunk last night (he was gifted a bottle of whiskey that is 122 proof and he didn't really adjust accordingly) so he wasn't as helpful as I'd like him to be when I'm feeling like shit. He's out shoveling snow now though so I guess he's forgiven.
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax? Usually wine. Now either reading or watching reality TV.
How far along are you? How big is baby? 6w2d, the size of a match head.
How old is/are you other kid(s)? 22 months
Nails and fails from this week: Failing in the sex area. Every time I think, hey maybe tonight? I'm exhausted or feeling like puking by the time we actually have time. Whomp whomp.
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary: Just doing Christmas cooking today. Lemon bars & prepping my rolls today to bake tomorrow. I have to make roughly 80 rolls. I don't even like 80 people. Sigh.
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax? Read trashy romance novels, nightly soak in the tub... the usual!
TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15
NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
6w5d - Maine Blueberry
How old is/are you other kid(s)?
DD will be 2.5 yo in January
Nails and fails from this week:
Nails: Made it through the holidays with people not finding out I’m pregnant, that I don’t want to know yet.
Fails: I got a lot of wine for Christmas because people don’t know I’m pregnant 😂🤷🏼♀️
Rant/Rave/Dear Diary: I am a little peeved my first dr appointment is 1 day before I’m 9 weeks. I am just anxious and want to see that little bean.
GTKY: What do you do to unwind and relax?
Watch tv or read a book