T & J 5.9.09
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
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February 2019 Moms
okayestmom12
member
Ask a STM - Week of 12/17-12/23
okayestmom12
member
Re: Ask a STM - Week of 12/17-12/23
I don't want this to turn into a cosleeping vs non-cosleeping debate or anything although I feel like this group is pretty chill. The idea of it is just making me panic lol and I would love any advice that I can log away for future use!
PS. Sorry I'm apparently really long winded on night shifts
Try it all. Swaddling, safe co-sleeping, white noise, gripe water, putting baby to sleep in a swing... You will know when you find something that works for you and your baby. And when it feels like nothing is working: make sure baby is safe, close the door, and lock yourself in a room across the house with some music and chocolate. Your well being is just as important as baby's. Don't feel guilty about taking a break when needed.
In the early days, we relied on that “Happiest Baby Guide” 5Ss thing, mostly, so we swaddled (first with receiving blankets and then swaddle sleep sacks) and used white noise (we STILL use white noise). My son started in a bassinet in our room, which worked for him for night time sleep (which got up to decent stretches in not too long, I swear!) until he was a little more than 3 mos and we moved him to his crib. I never tried co-sleeping because I was terrified of it; I used to wake up in the middle of the night having nightmares that DS was caught up in the bedding (I had LOTS of nightmares PP), but some people do swear by it for sleep.
You will likely try everything you can think of and you will see what works!
That being said, with DS (who was not a tough baby at all), he was breaking his arms out of the swaddle when he was literally a few hours old. He just hated having his arms constricted. So we swaddled him (with just a blanket - I hated the swaddler things) and he slept in the bassinet attachment to the pnp in our room for the first few weeks. At 6 weeks we moved him to the crib in his room. He either napped in the bassinet/crib or his rock n play for the first few months (depending on what I was doing). He never needed to nap on me - he's always been a super independent kid in that regard, so I don't have any advice there.
We did end up cosleeping (aka me staring at him all night while he slept peacefully) at a certain point - started as a survival mechanism to get through the 4 month regression (10/10 would NOT recommend introducing that crutch), but we stuck with it when he started to get sick really frequently. Made me feel better to hear him breathe all night long. It was SO HARD to transition away from that, so I really want to not introduce it at all with this baby.
As far as bedtime routines are concerned - start early and often. Find a book you don't hate and read it every single night with the same lights and the same soap at bath time and the same lotion after and the same white noise. We still use the same white noise and read the same book and DS is almost 2 (which is why I stress to find a book you don't hate lol). For us, we'd do a bath, lotion, jammies, nurse, turn the lights down, read the book, white noise on, rock until he was drowsy and then lay him down and leave. Now that he's in his big boy bed that's tweaked a bit, but still pretty much the same structure.
Also seconding what @wifemomme said - as easy as DS has been with sleep, there have been nights where just nothing works. At that point I'd make sure he's safe, dry and fed, put him in his crib and go in the bathroom with a glass of wine (opposite side of our home) with the bathroom fan on and watch him on the monitor (on silent) until we both calmed down and/or he was asleep. It's so easy to get worked up and overwhelmed running on very little sleep, and I imagine it's a million times harder on baby, so cut yourselves some slack when it gets tough.
Also important to add here that unless someone tells me it’s crucial and I’m basically negligent if I don’t do this - I don’t really have the mental space to visit and “interview” potential providers.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
@becks_726 for me, it was important that my partner be present. That means no phones, there for what I needed. My husband worked on his computer through my first labor which wasn’t fun. He was media free for my second.
@changadee we do room-sharing at the start. Straight to swaddleme swaddle and rock n play. (Only at night). I don’t implement official naps until around 6 months when I can do the 2-3-4 rule. Around 8 weeks, prior to rolling, I start the transition to sleeping flat and with unswaddled arms. I remain room-sharing until I sense that my presence is disruptive to sleep.
With my youngest I ended up knocked out half way through so he stayed with baby while I went to recovery to wake up. He did great because the ILs wanted back to see the baby and he said no way until I had my bonding time with him.
For sleeping, all babies are different. And it will take a few weeks to figure it out and settle into your new normal.
For DH, he basically does whatever I say, need him to do or ask him to do. Luckily my DH is game for that. Oh and put up with my crazy - I know at some point at least once I will tell him he can go fuck himself and he just needs to ignore it when I go there
I never had much acne, but I do get migraines and those did get better post kids - a lot of times hormonal things do get better post kids.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
sleep wise- good lord whatever works! But be ready that if you introduce something, it may stick forever, DS slept in our bed from like 6months to like very recently lol. I mean we would put him in his room in the middle of the night usually but he would end up back with us. We also didn’t really sleep train or teach him how to self soothe so we still have some sleep troubles in that we have to lay with him.
Clothing wise I'm probably set except for socks.
Also getting our nursery paint this weekend.
@sjnsjnsjn we have so many bins in the basement of baby stuff too, I def need to start with digging those out and seeing what we have, hopefully after Christmas !
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
https://aeroflowbreastpumps.com/qualify-through-insurance