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April 2019 Moms
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Baby Shower Thread

mrstmoosemrstmoose member
in April 2019 Moms
I didn't see one listed so I figure now is when most people will start planning/thinking about them.

Are you a FTM/STM/TTM, etc?

Are you having a shower or a sprinkle? Or on the fence? 

Questions?
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Re: Baby Shower Thread

  • batmama31batmama31 member
    edited December 2018
    my friends are throwing me a shower. this is my 2nd. my first shower was a half-assed disaster. long story behind it. idk how interested anyone is in hearing it, so I won't post unless you guys tell me you wanna hear it.

    my friend knows how I feel about subsequent baby showers (that they're a bit gift-grabby- this will be my 2nd boy, so I need very little, since I kept everything from my first.) but she has told me she doesn't give a shit. it's pretty common where I live for moms to have baby showers for every pregnancy. people go ape-shit for baby showers around here.

    despite my opinions on subsequent showers, I did create an amazon registry, and have some pretty expensive, bougie items on it. 😅 if people genuinely want to shower me w/ gifts, I'd rather them gift me something the baby & I will legitimately use and appreciate, and not burden me w/ crap that I will return or re-sell. 
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  • MRDCleMRDCle member
    I'm a STM. I won't be having a shower, though I do plan to get my girlfriends together to have brunch with me before the kids come. This is pretty typical for my group of friends. Gifts aren't really expected but a lot of times people will bring something small - a cute toy off Etsy, a couple board books, etc. 

    Like @batmama31 I also created an Amazon registry. For us it's mainly things we need a second one of or things that are like, weird and twin specific that we don't have. The only person I've shared it with is my mom (because she asked) but if anyone else asks we will share the info. If no one asks, we still get a completion discount. 
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  • phoenix92885phoenix92885 member
    I'm a FTM at 26 of a baby girl. I don't work a 9-5 job because I take care of my 91 year old grandmother with dementia and alzheimers. So I'm looking forward to the shower because I'm relying on it for pretty much everything. Thankfully I come from a big family so I'm well taken care of by my Mom, aunts and cousins. They will do their best to help me ease into caring for my newborn and my grandma at the same time. Also, since my dad passed away when he was 19, his side of the family wants to spoil me and his future granddaughter rotten. I wouldn't be surprised if I end up having two showers but I'm trying to contain it to one. I am beyond blessed with a family that loves to give. 

    I love the idea of picking a book and making that be the theme or let the theme be just all about children's books. It's really important to my boyfriend and I that she has a love for reading like we do so we want to start her young. We are thinking we will have the shower sometime in February. Being due April 11th, I don't want to be huge and miserable while opening gifts and exchanging pleasantries. Lol. After we get past Christmas and new years, we plan to get invitations out. 

    Havent thought too far ahead about activities, games or food. Hoping to steal some good ideas from you ladies! Anyone finish their registries? I've been slowly doing a section at a time on mine. There's just so much you need for such a tiny little human!


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  • mrstmoosemrstmoose member
    edited December 2018
    I'm a STM and although it's pretty common to have a "sprinkle" for subsequent children here, I don't know if I will have one. My SIL has mentioned it and one of my mom's friends have mentioned it. I would be ok if my SIL wanted to throw one but I feel super awkward if the friend does, because I don't know her very well. But I also don't want to offend her, which is a huge thing in her culture. So I'm not sure what to do.

    I did make a private registry on Target just for the few things we will need so we can get the completion discount. When we registered for DD, we registered for all neutral baby gear so we only really need sheets, changing pad covers, a new changing pad, a second monitor for our camera (ours has a tear in it) and a few odd and end things. Basically I want to get some "boy" things so he has some of his own stuff. And clothes, I suppose. :D
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  • lyse01lyse01 member
    @MRDCle agreed!
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  • jayhawkmom4jayhawkmom4 member
    I am on the fence! This is baby 4 for us but our first boy and the last baby I had was 11 years ago. So we literally have nothing. Several of my friends really want to throw me one and the stuff would be really nice but I feel really silly having one! So I am not sure what I will do! 
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  • midway_mousemidway_mouse member
    This is a tough one for me. ****tw*****

    We had a loss at 26 weeks and my friends and family were in the midst of planning a shower before we found out about the loss. We actually got a lot of gifts before our loss, as well as picking things up here and there. We even had the nursery set up with a crib, clothes, cloth diapers, etc. I am afraid to have a shower because it brings up so much emotion and guilt if something does go wrong we will again have all of this stuff to deal with. It was impossible to keep the nursery up and impossible to pack everything away. Also, we have just about everything we need. I think people want to celebrate this new baby and shower is with love and attention, which is great, but also really hard for me to accept. 
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  • mermaidcamermaidca member
    STM here.  This baby will be the first boy in our group of friends (there's 12 little girls and no boys!!) so I think he will get a bit spoiled just for the novelty of it.  In our group of friends, we have done "Come and Meet Me" parties after the baby comes so everyone can cuddle the baby instead of trickles of visitors for days.  It works well for our group of friends and for 2nd+ babies we don't buy the huge baby shower items, just diapers or new outfits.

    I know it's a common UO, but I think every baby should be celebrated.  Obviously a full blown baby shower for every kid is a bit gift grabby, but a day to celebrate a new baby with family and friends is so wonderful!!!
    Me: 31
    H: 36
    L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
    BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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  • phoenix92885phoenix92885 member
    @MRDCle and @lyse01 yeah you're right. I guess she won't NEED all the thing's I'm putting on my registry. Lol. I've already been given more than enough clothes, I have a stash of diapers, wipes and laundry soap started. I have a changing mat too as well as a breast pump with all the accessories. Truthfully the only things I need are the crib, a bassinet that can move with me around the house, and a car seat. I don't plan on wasting my loved ones time and money on silly appliances like bottle warmers or wipe warmers. But I'd love to get one of those baby monitors that records two places at once so I can keep an eye on both baby and Granny at the same time! Not a necessity but sure would be convenient.

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  • rennie1108rennie1108 member
    FTM and yes, I'm having a shower. Is that bad since this is DH's SIXTH child? I mean, his youngest is 17 years old, and this is my first, so I don't really think it's bad, especially since the shower will consist of mainly my family and friends, but still. One of my mom's friends wanted to throw it, but I also felt kind of weird ( @mrstmoose ) so my best friend is also hosting with my mom's friend. I'm worried people will go crazy as is the custom in my family, and I'm not one to make such a fuss about things, but alas, a shower is still happening!
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  • lyse01lyse01 member
    edited December 2018
    Honestly, to most of you who have someone who offered, I say take them up on it!

    @midway_mouse, your situation is totally different, and I think perhaps a meet & greet event afterwards may make you and your DH much much more comfortable.

    @phoenix92885 that baby monitor sounds necessary to me. 
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  • sheepshepherdesssheepshepherdess member
    I'm definitely having a shower but don't know where to begin. I HATE planning parties, have no sense of style or attention to detail. I'm truly kind of a nightmare. My friend and neighbor is doing the main organizing, I still have to give my input along the way though. We have an Amazon registry that has a lot of nice things on it, mostly so we can get the completion discount in a few months but also because I have a huge family that wants to buy me things. I know babies "don't need much," but when I totaled the items on my registry I came up with nearly $1,000 worth of goods. 

    I'll be stalking this thread for some good, money-saving ideas about foods to serve, decorations, games, favors, etc.
    Me: 29 DW: 44
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  • lyse01lyse01 member
    edited December 2018
    @sheepshepherdess I LOVE THEME PARTIES. Let me help you.

    1) does DW have ideas or like parties?

    2) do you want it to be generic baby, or focused around something like children’s books? Do you have a nursery/theme (we live on the shore, so our registry was full of boats and whales)? 

    3) do you know sex and do you want it to be part of the concept?

    also, you could totally have a baby farmer/spring planting sort of thing.
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  • thatbaintforbettythatbaintforbetty member
    STM. I don't want one, hell i didn't want one for the DD, but my mom is being a super pain in the ass. I very begrudgingly somewhat agreed to a very small thing with very close family and friends. This was before we knew the sex and i think my mom was holding out hope that it would be a boy and i would change my mind and let her loose. I told her we really only need some diapers/wipes anyways but now that i know we are having another girl i really don't even want to do it. She hasn't mentioned it since and i'm hoping drops it all together.

    I hate being the center of attention, don't like shower games and can't even eat cake.
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
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  • MRDCleMRDCle member
    @sheepshepherdess pssh if they're organizing it, let them handle it. They can be really pretty basic - some little sandwiches, cake/cupcakes, and some coffee/tea/lemonade/water. Games aren't really necessary - I think at ours the only games were "Baby Shower Bingo" (super easy, and helps guests focus on the gifts being opened up at first) and I think like, a word scramble? Both are easy to find online and print out. Decor - you can grab plates, tableclothes, and some minimal decor from Dollar General. It definitely doesn't need to become some sort of Pintrest deal if that's not what you're into. 
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  • rennie1108rennie1108 member
    @thatbaintforbetty I hope this doesn't come off poorly, but you always make me laugh with your "grumpy" posts! Haha, and I'm totally the same when it comes to shit like this.
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  • midway_mousemidway_mouse member
    @thatbaintforbetty I would rather eat cat food than be the center of attention. Blech.....
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  • thatbaintforbettythatbaintforbetty member
    Lol @rennie1108 No worries!
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • chrissdeechrissdee member
    I'm a STM and I don't know what's going to happen shower-wise. My youngest sister has told me that she wants to plan one for me, but I'm honestly not sure how that would work. She, along with most of my extended family, live in another state and, while I know that she just wants to do something nice for us, it feels kind of gift-grabby on my part if I were to make a trip for the sole purpose of having a baby shower for my 2nd girl. Not to mention that if my mom or any of my other sisters would want to attend, they'd have to make long trips from other states as well, and that just seems excessive to me. Nice thought, but it probably won't work out.

    I do have a feeling that the ladies in my church will want to do a little something for us (a couple ladies have already asked if one was planned), and if they offer I won't refuse. In that particular group of friends, it's very common to do showers for 2nd, 3rd+ babies. Over the last few months, I've attended one for the pastor's 5th baby and my friend's 3rd. With that in mind, it wouldn't really feel so awkward. 
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  • thatbaintforbettythatbaintforbetty member
    @midway_mouse I tried so hard to get out of my own wedding (and just going to Tahoe and eloping) to avoid being the center of attention, lol. Somehow my mother still hasn't gotten a clue.
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • kangstadtkangstadt member
    I hate being the center of attention also, and I'm honestly not sure if anyone is planning anything for this LO or not.  STM, and a second boy, so I already have or have purchased basically everything we "need."  The only big item left on our list is the newborn cloth diaper rental.

    My best friend mentioned throwing a party for me before we knew the sex, but hasn't mentioned it since.  If we have something, I agree with other PPs that I would prefer just a celebration and get-together, not a huge gift giving/game playing party (unless it's board games, then I'm totally okay with it).  I'm also in a group of mom friends now that I wasn't with DS, so I'm not sure if they may throw a little get together or not.

    I have two coworkers who are also due in April within a week of me (4th babe for the one, 1st for the other), so I have no idea if work parents will schedule a joint party or not.  I'm a little torn about how I would even feel about it since both of my coworkers are having girls and since I work in a gymnastics center, all of the team girls will be giddy over the idea of little girls and pink.

    So I guess it's entirely possible one of those three options may come to pass (:lol:) but other than offering my small registry list to any family who wants it, I'm not gonna hold my breath.
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  • lilpotatomamalilpotatomama member
    edited December 2018
    FTM, having two showers. I really would prefer one, but that wouldn’t make sense for our families. So we are being given one thrown by my in laws, one by my mom and sister. This worked really well logistically for our wedding - I cannot imagine having only one shower, because our families are HUGE. However.... I’m not looking forward to my in-laws shower.
    I didn’t enjoy the bridal shower they threw for me. This may get long, sorry! 

    It was gorgeous, and I know they tried their best but it was just... too much. I got to the shower on time, and no one showed up for over an hour and a half. Then they didn’t warn me in advance that they decided to include loteria as one of the games. When they started passing out the basket for money (loteria is Mexican bingo, played with a jackpot of money) I had NO CASH. Why would I have brought cash to my own shower??? My mom, sister, niece and two best friends also didn’t have cash. It was horrible and awkward. I played anyway, but I was mortified and it kind of killed the rest of the evening for me. By the time the shower ended, it was 9 pm and I was completely exhausted.

    I have no desire to participate in the planning of their baby shower for me, but I did make a request for a coed shower. I want our friends there, and I want DH there. Even if they try to make it a “girl’s only” event, DH said he’d be there with me this time. So I’m grateful. 

    The shower my mom and sister throw me will be simple, cozy and fun. Just mingling and eating yummy food!  
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  • gollygeeitsamygollygeeitsamy member
    @lilpotatomama wow that bridal shower sounds like a nightmare.  I don't understand the not showing up on time thing, is that cultural? Most of the showers I go to is "floating" but family and the hosts stay the entire time and they are only 2 hours max.

    For my DD I had two showers, 1 coed shower for my DH friends & side of the family and another large shower for my side of the family/church family.  Both were just floating with good food and fun.  I don't like shower games and luckily we didn't have any at both. 

    This time, I'd really like to do a sprinkle because we're having a boy this time. I just want to include close family and friends.  I really would like something chill to celebrate baby with good food and if people want to bring gifts that'd be fine. 
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  • mrstmoosemrstmoose member
    After talking to some other friends, I'm giving in and having the sprinkle. I'm nervous about it though. 
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  • lilpotatomamalilpotatomama member
    @gollygeeitsamy it was really pretty bad. I don’t talk about it much, because I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but it was actually the worst. I’m talking to DH today about the shower and hoping he can relay a message or two to my SIL. I’m hoping to avoid another dumpster fire this time around. 
    The being late thing is definitely just a family trait. Not DH’s immediate family - just extended. They all stroll in to the family parties an hour late like they own the place. It drives me nuts. 
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  • harveyisaboysnameharveyisaboysname member
    STM ( DD will be 6 when this baby is born). I wasn’t planning on a shower because we are minimalistic. I really only need bottles, more cloth diapers to replace the bad ones, some clothes, and a new car seat. My BFF insisted on throwing a shower for me. At first I was a little bummed but I’m starting to get excited. Not so much for the gifts, but because I’ve done nothing baby related for this one other than go to my drs appointments. It will be nice to have a day focused around our new addition. My registry has like 50 items, half of them are cloth diapers and then I have some nursing clothes and bottles. My advice for the FTM is LESS IS MORE!!! Get the essentials before baby arrives and nothing else. The baby store will still be around if you really think you need that baby swing or bouncer. Trust me, you don’t want to be dealing with the clutter of all the gadgets when you’re trying to figure out this new parenting gig. 
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  • batmama31batmama31 member
    @lilpotatomama, are your in-laws by chance latin? (I ask b/c of the loteria reference.) my in-laws are mexican and my husband is FOREVER bitching about how his mom & sisters are late for everything, all the time! it's so bad, that whenever we make plans for anything, he tells them that an event is 2hrs before it actually is. and they still are late. we married 5yrs ago, and he still bitches about how his parents missed our entrance at our wedding reception, even after he told them when it was happening.
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  • lilpotatomamalilpotatomama member
    @batmama31 yes, DH is from Mexico! Thankfully his immediate family isn’t so bad about timing, but his entire extended family missed our wedding ceremony. When we walked back down the aisle and out of the church, I heard one family member say “that ceremony was too fast, that isn’t fair for us” 😑😑 it was a near 45 minute bilingual ceremony, y’all were just late. Calm down. 
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  • sheknows6sheknows6 member
    FTM, and this is the first and likely only grandchild for my parents so my mom is chomping at the bit to do it. She has already messaged me asking if early March is ok (February is a bad month for me emotionally). I hate being the center of attention so as much as I'd rather not, I am doing it since I know she is dying to do it.

    She and my dad have already sent us a ton of clothes, a swing, and a bunch of other extra stuff so I can't imagine beyond diapers what else we'd need. DH and I bought the nursery furniture, stroller and our carseats so we're basically set already. I'm really grateful and as much as I hate showers, I know it'll be fun to have some good food and friends hang out for a few hours. I don't have a lot of family at all so it's gonna be mostly friends of ours coming.

    Me: 32 / DH: 33
    DD born: 3/31/19
     




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  • ysotteysotte member
    FTM. My staff threw me a surprise baby shower today. I’ll probably have my best friend plan me one for February. She’s good at that kind of thing and I have no clue about any of that. I’ve honestly never been to a baby shower.
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  • MRDCleMRDCle member
    lyse01 said:
    @sheepshepherdess omg, if you name the baby Lupine and do a spring planting theme and pass out seed packets of lupine...decorations that turn into favors are like $1 each. 

    @phoenix92885 if you’re stuck on any part of the registry, go post in the product spotlight requests thread and i’ll prioritize!
    CUTE AF. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • sheepshepherdesssheepshepherdess member
    Sorry to post and go, it has been a looong week and only going to get worse until about March. 

    @lyse01

    1) Nope lol. You would think so, but no.
    2) LOVE farm animal themed or just farm themed! Nursery is farm animal themed, with a bit of other stuff thrown in.
    3) It's a boy but we are going as gender neutral as possible.

    Just love love the idea of spring planting. Might have to do some perennials in pots, spring bulbs, or seeds. Such a cool idea, thank you!

    And the Lupine idea!! We have chosen a different name actually but it's currently a secret :) Still love the idea of the seeds, or something like that.

    @MRDCleThank you for the ideas, would love to let my host handle it! I don't want to leave her in the lurch though. Really into cost saving and small, so I probably will help make some kind of food. Small sandwiches sound wonderful. Just wish either me or DW actually liked planning parties!
    Me: 29 DW: 44
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  • lyse01lyse01 member
    @sheepshepherdess sounds like you have a theme!
    Cute food could include dirt pudding (chocolate pudding, crushed Oreo, gummy worms) or carrot cake, plus any yummy farm-fresh food you love. Green salad. Any of the meat from your chest freezer. Animal crackers. Beet hummus (yum). Whatever.

    decor: mini overalls, seed packets on a clothesline, straw hats, flower pots

    activities/games: decorate a onesie with your best animal drawing (fabric pens, get multiple sizes up to 2T -why not?, hang on clothesline), actual planting for the spring (eg bulbs in pots, because you’re gonna be too busy to landscape), something using animal crackers

    favors: seed packets

    Spoiler: photos from DD’s 1st birthday “garden party” - missing some watermelon slices, cookies, and something else food-wise.


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  • HGRichHGRich member
    So I’m an STM and if I have anything this time it’ll be a diaper sprinkle. I did make a registry though so I can use the completion discount to buy some boy-related things. 

    However I did want to mention an idea for any of you whose friends are far away. With DD, my best friend threw me a virtual baby shower because we had nobody really in town. A few friends, no family. What she did was, she created a Facebook event and invited everyone, linked my registry, gave them my address to mail gifts to, and set up some games they could play from afar. 

    Then the day of, she and another friend drove to my house with some decorations and cupcakes, then they took pictures and video of me opening gifts. I also made a video thanking everyone in the end. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, especially those who wanted to come and couldn’t drive several hours to make it. Another option is to do it live, but many of our guests preferred to watch at their convenience later. Anyway, in case any of you are too isolated from people to have a real shower, but someone wants to throw one for you, there’s my experience! 
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  • lilpotatomamalilpotatomama member
    @lyse01 @sheepshepherdess I love yall’s themes! I think farm animals/ anything outdoor is adorable. My mom and sister are throwing me a cherry blossom shower, and I *think* my ILs are doing a woodland creature shower (deer, bunnies, trees, etc!) 
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  • saraleigh2saraleigh2 member
    Are you a FTM/STM/TTM, etc? STM

    Are you having a shower or a sprinkle? Or on the fence? No shower, I’m a bit old fashioned and if your subsequent child isn’t many years later, I’m personally not comfortable asking my friends and family to shower me and baby with gifts... (there will be only 3 yrs or so between my first and this one.)  I am thinking about doing a mom’s lunch- asking other mom friends to pick out a glass bead for a labor bracelet and bring it to lunch with a ‘well wish’ for pregnancy, birth and/or postpartum. Then I would bring and wear the bracelet in labor and notify and ask theses women to pray for me during labor too. I really love this idea for my second!!!

    With my first my wonderful sister hosted an afternoon tea party theamed shower!!! It was amazing with tea sandwiches, clotted cream, homemade lemon curd, etc it was by far the best party I’ve ever had!!!! 


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