@lilpotatomama my favorite part of DD’s bday (besides making the delish food) was the banner with all the watercolor vegetables. I’m 100% going to figure out how to use those again!
@saraleigh2 both the lunch and the afternoon tea party sound wonderful. And I need more curd in my life.
STM here but never got to have a shower with DD, who sent me to the hospital at 25 weeks. MIL offered but DD was in the hospital and I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, nor that DH’s female cousins/the majority of her guest list were mostly strangers (DH and I had been dating for just over a year and missed two of his family weddings in that time).
I desperately want to throw a beautiful, traditional party for this little one inviting all the women of the family. Not for the gifts, though anything offsetting expenses is appreciated, but because everything went so wrong last time and I’m still upset that I got cheated out of all the experiences that normally surround the birth of a beloved child. No one has offered, though, and if we do actually get married next month, it may be difficult to convince anyone else to host. Even though it’s gauche, I’m considering hosting it myself.
@lyse01I say go ahead and throw it yourself if no one offers. Your child is always worth celebrating so if no one will volunteer you're his or her best advocate. 💗
I registered through amazon. I don't know how amazon registries work- do all the gifts get sent to the registrant or do guests have an option of receiving the gift and bringing it to the shower? I ask because I've opened a number of baby shower gifts. The packages aren't labeled in any way and I have no way of knowing which are gifts and which are things I've ordered for myself. I think it would be nice to open the sealed packages when guests come to the shower, but it's not working out that way. And our baby shower is set to be Open House so if I don't know which package comes from whom then I'm not going to be able to know which ones to open. Is my best option to open what all gets sent to me and be prepared with Thank-you cards for my guests?
I’m a 4th time mom, but this baby was quite the surprise and so my youngest will be almost 9. We have nothing left. All was donated years ago. @jawhawkmom4 almost the same as you except although this is the boy, my other three are a girl and 2 boys.
Some of my friends from law law school are having a shower/sprinkle for me. Multiple friends have told us to register so I guess I will do that at some point.
Are you having a shower or a sprinkle? We ar heaving a shower. A church friend asked if she could throw one. I asked if we could make it so that so that some non church friends can come too and avoid a second shower.
First shower was 2 showers. But one of them was book themed where we asked for little books instead of cards. I loved it and we left with lots of great books.
This is baby we have a few needs, I want glass bottles because I’m sick of plastics and them being declared safe and not safe all the time. Glass is.
We need clothing. And a few newborn/small cloth diaper items. (We did cloth with our first but not until she was 6-8’weeks) I want to do cloth as soon as the diapers we snag from the hospital are gone.
Baby doesnt have his his own space yet, so we are turning my corner of the room into that. Eventually I want his room to be outset space themed. Dd is hot airballoons and airplanes... so if they had to share I could mesh them together. so if the shower develops a theme it will be that.
In my community we we like to celebrate each baby, I think people know that they are welcome without gifts and we just want to celebrate that baby is coming. If they do want to gift I love creative homemade things and I have. A registry of needs.
No shower or sprinkle since we saved everything from DD who will be 3 when this baby is born. I'm an advocate of a shower for the first and maybe a sprinkle or small lunch for additional kids. I had a shower in my hometown, which is 4 hrs away, for DD. It was a catered lunch at my aunts golf club with family which was perfect. And no games, I hate the games!
No registry because we only need clothes, bottles, and pacifiers.
I'm a STM and this will be my 2nd girl so we really don't need much, and nobody has offered to throw one so I don't think it's going to happen. Maybe a sip and see after she's born
TTM. Not planning or expecting a shower but my co-workers threw me a sprinkle for my 2nd. I think my co-workers and I use every reason to plan a party and have cake though so I wouldn’t be surprised if they did something again this time around.
FTM. We are definitely having two showers - one with DH’s family and my mom’s side and another with just my dad’s side. I wanted to do one big one, but it is basically impossible to get all three sides in the same space. Between distance between my dad and mom’s locations, family drama (my mom and dad split when I was 4, but act like it wasn’t almost a quarter century ago - there was so much drama the day before my wedding because they set each other off), and the fact that both my families are huge, it just wasn’t going to work. It does mean that DH and I get to spend more time with each group and puts the traveling on us vs family (luckily we’re used to the 6 hour drive by now).
I'm a STM, but DD1 is 8 y/o... this LO was quite a surprise... We have literally purged ALL things baby/toddler over the past 2 years.. The only thing we kept was her crib. So needless to say, friends and family are all excited and planning a shower to celebrate this little bundle.. &frankly I'm cool with it because I won't have to buy everything..
STM and DD will be almost 3 when this peanut comes along. We are not having a shower or sprinkle because we have everything we need but I also know that my parents and grandparents are getting us some newborn clothing if it's a little boy and stocking up on newborn diapers right away. We had 2 showers with DD, one for each side of the family and they were fun but I think I preferred the one with my in-laws, it was a bbq and super chill. We actually had a keg and had couples come over so it wasn't all females with cheesy games, everyone had a blast.
this might possibly should be shared on the UO/FFFC thread, but since it’s baby shower related:
my super distant cousin who lives 6hrs away shamelessly sent me a baby shower invite for her second baby about 2yrs ago, knowing full well i’d never drive 6hrs for a baby shower. it was clearly a gift grabby gesture. she was registered at target, and even before the shower, she sent me some coupon code or promo for baby gear. tacky as fuck, but i am sucker & sent her some shit off her registry. about a month later i got a thank you card that literally said, “thanks for the baby loot!”
so now that i’ve got a second shower around the corner (at the insistence of my friends), i am super tempted to “invite” her, too. just to see if she returns the favor. being that she didn’t get me shit for my first, i’m not holding my breath. i think i’m just seeking confirmation that she is the cunt i’ve always said she is. 🤷🏻♀️
@avidlyuks36 I’ll write thank you notes and because I see everyone being invited or have access to their work mail box I am not using the post office. It’s $0.55 per letter now.
@avidlyuks36 we are doing regular thank you cards, but I’ve seen/gotten cool postcard thank yous for shower gifts before. We actually just ordered our thank yous last night off of Amazon because we’ve gotten a couple gifts already and writing thank you notes is something I can do from the couch while DH does all the real labor in our baby prep.
My friend in Montana mailed me a bunch of thank you cards that she embossed herself, so I am using those. Although I am going the cheaper route of hand delivering the ones to people I see often.
So, my friend is throwing me a shower but I pretty much insisted she do it at my house, which has more space, plus then I won’t have to schlep everything around after. I love having gatherings at my place because it really has a good party layout, so I hope I wasn’t being too pushy!
STM. My first is a boy, this one is a girl. We are not having a shower or sprinkle bc I kept everything. However, we are having a sip and see. No one is obligated to bring gifts, but people have asked what we need. I said diapers and bottles and created a small registry for clothes.
So my MIL and SIL was throwing me a shower on the tenth but we just got the bad news that she has surgery for a brain tumor with a prognosis of a year or so. This is devastating and I'm obviously assuming the shower is cancelled but I don't want to ask because noone should be worrying about me. This kinda just leaves everything up in the air as my own mother would like to take over but we dont know what is appropriate. Do I sound selfish? I'm really not trying to be selfish I'm devasted for my SO and his family
@stefanielyn1991 I think it’s entirely appropriate for your mother (and you) to reach out, express her sympathies, and offer to help - including acting as another hostess for the shower. “How can I make this easier” or “can I take over some of the last minute details so that you don’t need to pick up a cake between medical appts?” would, to me, be a way to approach it without hurting feelings. If the venue is supposed to be at MIL/SIL’s house, I’d say it’s also okay to offer to move it and contact the guest list to ease the burden.
I would probably assume it should be/is cancelled as well, but I’ve also learned over the years that it’s better to give people the option to gracefully bow out vs just taking it away from them. A good deal of personal fulfillment can be derived from taking on certain responsibilities, and in this case, your MIL/SIL may be looking forward to a last joyous family event before everything changes.
@stefanielyn1991 I second what @lyse01 said and also want to emphasize that you’re not selfish!
I think that finding some way to have the party and allow your MIL & SIL and your SO’s family attend generally may actually be a nice thing — especially if it’s not really an “all about you” event but more just a celebration of life and family. With the current situation that they are facing, finding joy is probably a helpful thing to do.
So actually my MIL brought it up and and said she'd still like to do the shower and I think it will be good for her so we're keeping plans the same. Thanks guys for making not feel bad about wondering whether it was still on. @kbirchtree thats adorable!
What did everyone buy for the person who organized your shower? Mine is next this coming Sunday and my best friend is throwing it but now my mom is super involved. No idea what kind of thank you gift I should get them for throwing this. My best friend is blowing money left and right on this thing so I really want to show her how much I appreciate all the work and money she has spent.
@harveyisaboysname I wracked my brain about this on the weekend as well since one of my coworkers threw me an awesome little shower today. I ended up getting her a tote and a couple of cute little gifties from the book store gift section that she really liked and was surprised to even get
@kbirchtree yep, apparently gifts for your shower hostess are very necessary! I just learned about it and have been struggling. One of my good friends but I still don’t know what to get her. Huge source of stress at this point.
@kbirchtree + @rennie1108 News to me as well. My mom threw my shower though, so I'll give her a grandson in return? lol. Maybe I will give her a little something, now that I know that gifts for the thrower are a thing. My work is also throwing me a shower though and there is no way that every member of my department are getting their own little gift. Thank you cards in this situation are just going to have to suffice.
I agree - I threw my sister's and my sister threw mine. I'd say we're even. If I had one from someone outside my family maybe I'd give them a thank you card, but sometimes I feel like gift giving is totally out of control.
Maybe I should save this for my UO this week. You're expected to give favours at weddings and parties when guests bring gifts, or kids' birthday parties - don't get me started on the loot bags these days. It just seems like an even swap, so what's the point?
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
Re: Baby Shower Thread
@saraleigh2 both the lunch and the afternoon tea party sound wonderful. And I need more curd in my life.
STM here but never got to have a shower with DD, who sent me to the hospital at 25 weeks. MIL offered but DD was in the hospital and I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, nor that DH’s female cousins/the majority of her guest list were mostly strangers (DH and I had been dating for just over a year and missed two of his family weddings in that time).
I desperately want to throw a beautiful, traditional party for this little one inviting all the women of the family. Not for the gifts, though anything offsetting expenses is appreciated, but because everything went so wrong last time and I’m still upset that I got cheated out of all the experiences that normally surround the birth of a beloved child. No one has offered, though, and if we do actually get married next month, it may be difficult to convince anyone else to host. Even though it’s gauche, I’m considering hosting it myself.
I registered through amazon. I don't know how amazon registries work- do all the gifts get sent to the registrant or do guests have an option of receiving the gift and bringing it to the shower? I ask because I've opened a number of baby shower gifts. The packages aren't labeled in any way and I have no way of knowing which are gifts and which are things I've ordered for myself. I think it would be nice to open the sealed packages when guests come to the shower, but it's not working out that way. And our baby shower is set to be Open House so if I don't know which package comes from whom then I'm not going to be able to know which ones to open. Is my best option to open what all gets sent to me and be prepared with Thank-you cards for my guests?
Some of my friends from law law school are having a shower/sprinkle for me. Multiple friends have told us to register so I guess I will do that at some point.
STM first boy.
Are you having a shower or a sprinkle?
We ar heaving a shower. A church friend asked if she could throw one. I asked if we could make it so that so that some non church friends can come too and avoid a second shower.
First shower was 2 showers. But one of them was book themed where we asked for little books instead of cards. I loved it and we left with lots of great books.
This is baby we have a few needs, I want glass bottles because I’m sick of plastics and them being declared safe and not safe all the time. Glass is.
We need clothing. And a few newborn/small cloth diaper items. (We did cloth with our first but not until she was 6-8’weeks) I want to do cloth as soon as the diapers we snag from the hospital are gone.
Baby doesnt have his his own space yet, so we are turning my corner of the room into that. Eventually I want his room to be outset space themed. Dd is hot airballoons and airplanes... so if they had to share I could mesh them together. so if the shower develops a theme it will be that.
In my community we we like to celebrate each baby, I think people know that they are welcome without gifts and we just want to celebrate that baby is coming. If they do want to gift I love creative homemade things and I have. A registry of needs.
No shower or sprinkle since we saved everything from DD who will be 3 when this baby is born. I'm an advocate of a shower for the first and maybe a sprinkle or small lunch for additional kids. I had a shower in my hometown, which is 4 hrs away, for DD. It was a catered lunch at my aunts golf club with family which was perfect. And no games, I hate the games!
No registry because we only need clothes, bottles, and pacifiers.
DD #2: BFP: 8-19-18 EDD: 4-30-19
my super distant cousin who lives 6hrs away shamelessly sent me a baby shower invite for her second baby about 2yrs ago, knowing full well i’d never drive 6hrs for a baby shower. it was clearly a gift grabby gesture. she was registered at target, and even before the shower, she sent me some coupon code or promo for baby gear. tacky as fuck, but i am sucker & sent her some shit off her registry. about a month later i got a thank you card that literally said, “thanks for the baby loot!”
so now that i’ve got a second shower around the corner (at the insistence of my friends), i am super tempted to “invite” her, too. just to see if she returns the favor. being that she didn’t get me shit for my first, i’m not holding my breath. i think i’m just seeking confirmation that she is the cunt i’ve always said she is. 🤷🏻♀️
Wondering are you sending out thank you cards or thank you post cards for your baby shower? I'm debating... which to send.
BFP: 1/26/20 | EDD: 9/20/20
I would probably assume it should be/is cancelled as well, but I’ve also learned over the years that it’s better to give people the option to gracefully bow out vs just taking it away from them. A good deal of personal fulfillment can be derived from taking on certain responsibilities, and in this case, your MIL/SIL may be looking forward to a last joyous family event before everything changes.
I think that finding some way to have the party and allow your MIL & SIL and your SO’s family attend generally may actually be a nice thing — especially if it’s not really an “all about you” event but more just a celebration of life and family. With the current situation that they are facing, finding joy is probably a helpful thing to do.
@kbirchtree thats adorable!
BFP: 1/26/20 | EDD: 9/20/20
Maybe I should save this for my UO this week. You're expected to give favours at weddings and parties when guests bring gifts, or kids' birthday parties - don't get me started on the loot bags these days. It just seems like an even swap, so what's the point?
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019