On the same vein as @DuchessOfCambridge - although this might be more of a UO - I do not comprehend the rush and anxiety around finding out the sex of the baby. We were team green last time and will be again this time and when people would say "oh my gosh I could NEVER do that" to me I'm just like..."why not?" in my head. I'm not doing it so it'll be a fun surprises at delivery or to avoid disappointment from us or family on wanting one or the other. I literally feel like it's not a medically necessary piece of information that I need to know so I want to wait until delivery. I'm not "trying to wait" like I hear some people say when they do it but it's killing them not to know. I'm all for advances in science, following doctor's orders, etc. and I'm also a type A person who loves to plan literally everything (already have our double stroller purchased for this little one) but I don't need pink or blue stuff to do that.
Confession: @eatinwatermelonseeds I totally thought your new FFFC post was in response to my using my 5 year old’s pickiness as an example. I didn’t think it had come off that way but I looked in other threads first to see if I had missed something, obviously having already skimmed past the offending comment so didn’t put 2 + 2 together. Between rushing lunch and taking DD2 to her haircut I was trying to draft a reply to say that I was certainly not trying to offend or to compare YH to my 5yo, just adding to the picky eater convo.
@haboobjob the app absolutely won't work in my phone. I have to go to my chrome browser app and go to the website. It's lame, so I don't really participate in the weekends. I even contacted the service saying the community part won't work and they were pretty much like 🤷
My FFFC is that my husband will eat ANYTHING while I'M the picky eater. Always have been. Im pretty sure my mom cursed me about that so my children do the same to me. 🤣 I love various ethnic foods but I'm still picky. I don't know how my husband is able to eat just anything.
We're the same way. I can make him anything, meanwhile I'm a pain in the ass. I never ate a tomato until I was 22, drunk one night at the taco bell drive thru.
My FFFC is that my husband will eat ANYTHING while I'M the picky eater. Always have been. Im pretty sure my mom cursed me about that so my children do the same to me. 🤣 I love various ethnic foods but I'm still picky. I don't know how my husband is able to eat just anything.
We're the same way. I can make him anything, meanwhile I'm a pain in the ass. I never ate a tomato until I was 22, drunk one night at the taco bell drive thru.
I'm definitely pickier than DH (and DD so far). I've been sending her to daycare with raw veggies cut up and hummus. I do NOT eat raw veggies (cucumber, carrots, zucchini, and broccoli). All I will eat with hummus is pita bread or chips. My pickiness is very specific and more textural (won't eat raw onions, either). I'll give pretty much anything a try though. Anyways, it's a good thing that in our division of labor, I grocery shop and cook. DH eats whatever I put in front of him. It's perfect except that when I had more time before DD, my cooking talents were wasted on him as he thinks warm, freshly cooked pasta with jarred sauce directly from the fridge poured over the top cold is AWESOME!
@kvh22 my kids both love raw veggies with hummus, as do I. I just about flipped though, when my MIL was constantly offering them a sour cream and mayo-based veggie dip (when they already had hummus in front of them and quite frankly will eat their veggies with no dip at all) just because SHE doesn’t like hummus. Like, lady, don’t go trying to make my kids eat shittier just because you choose to eat more unhealthily. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the dip she had, but it is definitely not super healthful and just seems ridiculous to encourage the kids to like something less healthy when they already prefer a healthier option.
When it comes to being picky I figure grown adults can make their own choices. But as long as my kids are under my roof it is my job to try and send them off with a broad, healthy pallet to start their journey as adults. We strive for a good balance of healthy food and treats, and even with treats I try as best I can to limit the processed ones and opt for homemade when I can. I think there’s a link between eating a lot of processed foods and being picky towards “real” foods. I haven’t actually researched that, so I could be wrong, but just observed over time with people who eat a variety of ways.
@mcewen3 nononono that was not directed toward you AT ALL. I was caught so off guard by that comment. Is she the same girl who insisted that eating healthy and exercising was better than the flu shot? I'm pretty familiar, or I thought I was, with the regulars on here so I was just like uh who TF are you? 🙄 Whatever.
@mcewen3 nononono that was not directed toward you AT ALL. I was caught so off guard by that comment. Is she the same girl who insisted that eating healthy and exercising was better than the flu shot? I'm pretty familiar, or I thought I was, with the regulars on here so I was just like uh who TF are you? 🙄 Whatever.
Haha, oh I know now, and didn’t totally think it could have been my comment but was second guessing myself until kvh22 commented about it being in a different thread. I think it was just as I was trying to catch up/keep up in between everything else today I couldn’t find any other comment that seemed to do it. I don’t know if she is?? I may have to do some digging after bedtime when I can actually pay attention.
I guess my confession would be I don’t make my kids anything special. They either eat what we are having or go hungry. So if the vegetable I cook that night is asparagus or Brussels sprouts and they don’t like whatever it is, I say eat more chicken then. I still always put the offensive item on their plate though. There have been several times where they refuse to eat any of it and it wasn’t something yucky or weird. Once DD1 refused to eat spaghetti. I put her plate in the fridge and an hour or two later she finally decided she was hungry enough to eat some of it.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
I am 100% a picky eater and a big part of it for me is sensory. I used to have huge sensory issues growing up and not just about food. It was so bad that I wore all my clothes inside out because the tags and seams irritated me so much and pants were a total no go for me, skirts and dresses only. I’ve grown out of a lot of this, but some of my sensory issues with food have stuck around. I’ve definitely gotten a lot better at finding ways to get veggies into my food through a lot of experimentation with different ways of preparing them. For example, and I hate spinach but mixed in with a creamy pasta dish or soup, while I still don’t like it per say, I can manage to stomach it without gagging. Broccoli on the other hand, no matter how you dress it up, I simply can not stomach it.
I don’t remember where I read this, it’s been too long since I had little little ones, but babies/kids need to try some foods 15+ times before they decide they like something, especially foods like vegetables. And a lot of parents will get a negative reaction from their baby when they introduce a new food and won’t have them keep trying it.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
@robyn2201 haha I don't think that's a confession (at least I hope not). I don't make anything special for DD for dinner but I work from home so I'm not packing up 2 snacks and a sandwich for me or anything - if I do go into the office we have free snacks in all the kitchens plus 3 cafeterias on our company's campus. I can get salmon with a grain and veggies for $9!! Anyways, DD is 15 months so she gets a chicken and veggie cheese quesadilla (microwaved), some fruit, a cheese stick, and veggies with hummus at daycare (snacks and lunch). For dinner, we eat all the same food as a family, so no raw veggies for her at dinner lol. I don't order kids meals at restaurants, just get a 3rd option or appetizer and have her eat some of my and/or DH's food. Also, she loves asparagus and brussels sprouts as do we so that's definitely making frequent appearances here. I hope she doesn't change but I feel like I hear kids get picky as they get older and am trying my best to avoid it. I was a picky eater and entirely credit that to my mom not having time to cook different meals for everyone since my older brother was soooooo picky. We weren't served well seasoned and cooked veggies that I ended up liking once I tried them out of the house. I assumed I hate salads since I hate iceburg lettuce and raw veggies AND any mayo based dressings. In college, I discovered kale, arugula, etc. and vinegar and balsamic. But I still hate iceberg, bib, romaine, etc. I have a couple books nutritionist friends have recommended (who are much more into eat as a family being better for kids relationships with food than creating the healthiest meal possible for your kid and you eat something different). I need to actually crack those open.
@expandcontract I’m the picky one between me and husband too. He’ll eat just about anything that doesn’t eat him first. Until we started dating, I basically just ate ham and cheese sandwiches, cheeseburgers, pizza and chicken fingers and fries. 😂 Once I started obligatory eating at his family dinners, I started broadening my horizons more, but the pickiness lasted until I was 21, and I’m still not a huge fan of veggies. Definitely getting payback with DS.
@DuchessOfCambridge I think that’s a bit silly too. I had a *feeling* we were having a girl, but I wasn’t “rooting” for a girl and would have been so excited for another boy because DS is the most amazing little boy. I might have been like “Oh I thought for sure it was a girl!” and moved on, but that’s about it. Definitely wouldn’t say shocked.. 🤷🏼♀️ Now I’m curious and going to have to search through the UO thread. 🧐
FFFC: We have my husband’s Nana’s (MIL’s mother) Christmas party tomorrow, and I’m dreading it, especially considering how frustrated I’ve been with them this past week regarding Grandpapa’s situation. Don’t judge me too much because this may sound bad, but not being able to get a nice wine buzz to better tolerate my in laws is not going to be very enjoyable for me, especially since I’ll be the only one not partaking in drinks. Should be interesting what family drama unfolds. Yay.
I actually preferred healthy foods as a kid, but we were poor and a lot of what we ate was cheap, just something to get food in my belly. I will admit, I've been lenient with DS, and we're in the middle of a feeding program to expand his food choices. (Not eating out so much will help that). But both he and H have a lot of sensory issues regarding food. And of course other things. H was never diagnosed with autism as a child, it was something I started to put together after DS was diagnosed and we saw a counselor who specializes in adult asperger's who couldn't diagnose but did confirm that he agreed with my suspicions. We haven't moved forward with diagnosis, but it seems kind of pointless to do so. Early intervention is key, and he's almost 30. We just moved forward with our knowledge and it has helped. He still isn't convinced (though he wasn't with DS before he was diagnosed), but I am and there are times I'm just like "oh man, you are all kinds of autistic right now" 😂 he has sensory issues with his clothes. He's quiet about it, I didn't know this until recently. He will buy every color of one style shirt because it's comfortable. He only buys one brand of socks, he has like 50 pairs 🙄😂 laundry is fun.
The thing that pissed me off is my husband is an engineer. He's well-educated, highly intelligent, well mannered, responsible, mature. It's just infuriating to see such an insulting blanket statement because my husband won't eat vegetables. Like.... What?
@robyn2201 we pretty much do that too. I’ve gotten a bit more lenient this past year and a half because we had such a struggle with DD1 and my like it or leave it approach wasn’t doing anything for us. She would choose to leave it more often than not and while I was getting a solid amount of nutrients into her (she has always been willing to drink a smoothie so I’d load her breakfast smoothie with EVERYTHING) she got incredibly hangry and everything was suffering as a result. Now the rule is that she must try a bite of everything on her plate. If she likes nothing (this really is rare since her pickiness is more plain stubbornness) then she can get a healthy option from the fridge (last night’s leftovers, cut up veggies, make herself a sandwich, etc). 9/10 she would eat what I made, but not before putting up a fight. She has really been coming around lately though, and I think it has to do with kindergarten and a new sense of maturity.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I admittedly don't know much about autism. But even though early intervention is important, might your husband not get some benefit from talking to someone like the doc who specializes in adult asperger's, even just to help him understand more how it affects him and maybe some workarounds that might be useful? I mean, obviously I'm talking down the road when y'all have more free time and stuff. I'm really just asking more out of curiosity. I had a boss who I'm 100% sure was undiagnosed asperger's. He tried very hard and was a nice guy, but he just had such a hard time relating to people and had gone through a TON of employees before hiring me. I always wondered what might be able to help him.
I guess my FFFC this week is that my husband is an uneducated, unsuccessful, immature, irresponsible, not good humored, unattractive adult because he doesn't like vegetables 😒
@eatinwatermelonseeds Ok, I’m caught up on this now, and I can’t believe someone really said that. Being somewhat picky myself, I’m a bit offended. Wtf..
@sleepy33 my husband struggles a lot in the same respect. There have been many times I've had to talk him through things because either it was bigger than he could comprehend or it was smaller. It can be difficult and I really think he would benefit from a diagnosis and counseling. It's definitely something we may consider further in the future. When all of this came up it was just too much for both of our plates.
I guess my confession would be I don’t make my kids anything special. They either eat what we are having or go hungry. So if the vegetable I cook that night is asparagus or Brussels sprouts and they don’t like whatever it is, I say eat more chicken then. I still always put the offensive item on their plate though. There have been several times where they refuse to eat any of it and it wasn’t something yucky or weird. Once DD1 refused to eat spaghetti. I put her plate in the fridge and an hour or two later she finally decided she was hungry enough to eat some of it.
My mom did this and I do it with my son. We call it a “No thank you helping”.
@megsb615 I totally had a feeling with my son that he was a boy. A strong one. But if he had been a girl I wouldn't have been like "I am so shocked because based on this feeling I was 100% positive". Bc that's not how it works! I like that we're on the same page. The page of science.
Maybe it’s a confession then in our friend group!! Seriously every gtg all of moms make “special” kids plates and it consists of like Mac n cheese and that’s it. There is all this awesome food and variety and their kid doesn’t even get any on their plate. All the moms say “my kid is so picky and won’t eat anything”. They make special dinners at home as well.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
I have two, because someone pissed me off today with their comment:
1) Pregnancy sex sucks...well, at least for me. Granted, it was the first time in over 2 months (thanks pelvic rest) but it was miserable and uncomfortable. I’ve never had a superb drive, but usually enjoy it during the act.
2) Having one baby does not make you an expert in parenting or recommendations, and just because your pediatrician gives a recommendation doesn’t mean it’s the law. All the research I have done shows the babies can be ready for introductionto fruits and veggies like avacados, bananas, squash, and apples between 4 and 6 months. My coworker, who has a 4 month old, said that her pediatrician said no and got rude about it. Like, cool, but your pediatrician is not the ruler of all thing infant.
@mrskoz428 I personally went by my ped's recommendation. C had low muscle tone as a baby and didn't hold his head up well. He wasn't approved to eat solids until almost 8 months and didn't actually want anything until a year. I personally wouldn't feed solids at 4 months (at this point, but that may change).
@mrskoz428 agreed with @eatinwatermelonseeds (and agree with you). We were told to wait until 6 months to give food so we did, but that was based on DS specifically. He wasn't ready earlier and he had trouble gaining weight anyway. Once he got used to it, he's been a great eater. Other babies in my group were starting at 4 months. Even now when I give advice I say "this is what my pediatrician said but obviously go with yours" because YOUR pediatrician knows YOUR baby, their advice is not a blanket statement. I'll likely still wait until 6 months this time around too but that's what makes me feel better.
@eatinwatermelonseeds well, and I wasn’t saying she was wrong. Obviously every baby is different and they need to be ready for them, but all research I have seen hassaud breast milk/formula only through 6 months but solid food can be introduced starting as early as 4 months. She just flat out said I was wrong because she wasn’t told that. That’s what bothered me. I mean, we’ve all been given different recommendations during pregnancy by a all of our different doctors. The same applies to when the baby is born. Just because one doctor says you can’t, doesn’t mean that’s the law of the land and everyone else is wrong. I’m sure it was her tone of voice that pissed me off more than anything but regardless.
I am 100% a picky eater and a big part of it for me is sensory. I used to have huge sensory issues growing up and not just about food. It was so bad that I wore all my clothes inside out because the tags and seams irritated me so much and pants were a total no go for me, skirts and dresses only. I’ve grown out of a lot of this, but some of my sensory issues with food have stuck around. I’ve definitely gotten a lot better at finding ways to get veggies into my food through a lot of experimentation with different ways of preparing them. For example, and I hate spinach but mixed in with a creamy pasta dish or soup, while I still don’t like it per say, I can manage to stomach it without gagging. Broccoli on the other hand, no matter how you dress it up, I simply can not stomach it.
My DS has the same issues with foods and I find feeding stuff to be such a touchy subject. It makes me feel hopeful that you’re doing so well with it! He’s been in food therapy for over a year and though he has been making great strides, it’s still such a struggle every day.
@DuchessOfCambridge Yess! I also think it’s amusing people that full heartedly believe in old wives tales. I enjoy them for fun, but obviously realize there’s no stock in them, but some people.... 😂
@mrskoz428 I actually enjoy pregnancy sex once we’re in the act. My problem is usually either time or energy, especially with DS sleeping in our bed now. FFFC: Husband got laid last night for making me homemade French fries. 💁🏼♀️
Piggybacking off of @mrskoz428, my FFFC is that we haven’t had sex since 11 dpo and I’m not even sorry. I’ve been too exhausted or too nauseous and I just don’t wanna. Zero guilt.
@megsb615 oh, I know I’m probably alone of the crappy sex boat. I just felt like baby was being tossed around and it just was super sensitive and ehhhhh. It wasn’t enjoyable, for either of us honestly. Also, DH totally deserved that! Homemade French fries rock!
Edited to add: Thank you @poshspice! It had been 11 weeks exactly and it won’t happen again anytime soon. 😂 I feel bad because I want to make him happy, but it makes me miserable so... 🤷🏽♀️
@eatinwatermelonseeds I totally agree with you in that respect. Even putting aside the undiagnosed autism, being a picky eater does not define the rest of you. A great example is FIL’s BFF. He is a self-made multi-millionaire (DH’s family are not, we’re just average 😂). Educated and incredibly successful. He has the means, obviously, and the circles they move in do prefer finer cuisine so he does try and has expanded his palette a bit. But he’s still a very basic eater on an every day basis and no matter how fancy the steakhouse he always orders a side of ketchup with his steak.
It honestly sounds like you guys are overall doing pretty well at handling most challenges that arise from his being on the spectrum. But I do hope, for both your sakes, that down the road he is willing to consider seeing someone to help him because I’m sure that it would make life that much easier for both you and him.
I had an amazing sex drive the first time. We had sex all the time, and actually had sex the day I went into labor (and every day before that for weeks 😂). This time... Bleh. I don't want anything to do with it.
@mrskoz428 I try to be respectful of other people's choices with feeding. DD was cleared for solids at her 4 month appointment socwe started just after that and at least until 5/5.5 months it was just practice as she was getting a teaspoon to tablespoon or two of puree once a day with us when we had dinner. I got slightly anemic at the end of pregnancy and couldn't do delayed cord clamping so felt strongly about getting her to a good spot to have purees with baby cereal that was fortified around 6/7 months. I know lots of people who feel strongly about BLW and I'd love to do that with this LO if iron levels are less of a concern. From what I've read/heard, babies aren't ready for that until at least 6 months. It's obnoxious of that woman to be so black and white but once you're at that point, you'll have a lot more information to have an informed conversation (and maybe just put her in her place a bit). I feel like some BLW parents are only finding the information they want to see which supports their views and I've read tons about how iron levels are fine longer than 6 months in BLW books and websites which scientific studies does not back up. They can be "okay" for a couple months longer but I know a few whose babies were so iron defiicient when tested at 9 months they had to use iron drops. Formula is fortified so iron is only a concern for babies getting no formula, I believe. I'll get off my soap box now but I've done tons of research on this and would never judge someone for waiting or following their doctor's advice. You just can't make blanket statements.
@kvh22 we did baby led weaning and loved it! Ds was exclusively breastfed and had no iron issues but I know that’s not always the case. I do feel like it was definitely a good choice for him- he doesn’t love all food but he’s really good about trying everything on his plate at least once, and since he learned by following our examples of eating if he doesn’t initially want to try something we just exaggeratedly eat it ourselves and then he wants to eat it too. It’s nice there isn’t really pressure to have them eat a certain amount before one, it’s just about exposure to foods and learning how to chew.
Re: FFFC 11/30
Drive by posters are just the sweetest
But wow. That comment was a little over the top.
When it comes to being picky I figure grown adults can make their own choices. But as long as my kids are under my roof it is my job to try and send them off with a broad, healthy pallet to start their journey as adults. We strive for a good balance of healthy food and treats, and even with treats I try as best I can to limit the processed ones and opt for homemade when I can. I think there’s a link between eating a lot of processed foods and being picky towards “real” foods. I haven’t actually researched that, so I could be wrong, but just observed over time with people who eat a variety of ways.
I don’t know if she is?? I may have to do some digging after bedtime when I can actually pay attention.
@DuchessOfCambridge I think that’s a bit silly too. I had a *feeling* we were having a girl, but I wasn’t “rooting” for a girl and would have been so excited for another boy because DS is the most amazing little boy. I might have been like “Oh I thought for sure it was a girl!” and moved on, but that’s about it. Definitely wouldn’t say shocked.. 🤷🏼♀️ Now I’m curious and going to have to search through the UO thread. 🧐
FFFC: We have my husband’s Nana’s (MIL’s mother) Christmas party tomorrow, and I’m dreading it, especially considering how frustrated I’ve been with them this past week regarding Grandpapa’s situation. Don’t judge me too much because this may sound bad, but not being able to get a nice wine buzz to better tolerate my in laws is not going to be very enjoyable for me, especially since I’ll be the only one not partaking in drinks. Should be interesting what family drama unfolds. Yay.
My wishful thinking for tomorrow below..
The thing that pissed me off is my husband is an engineer. He's well-educated, highly intelligent, well mannered, responsible, mature. It's just infuriating to see such an insulting blanket statement because my husband won't eat vegetables. Like.... What?
1) Pregnancy sex sucks...well, at least for me. Granted, it was the first time in over 2 months (thanks pelvic rest) but it was miserable and uncomfortable. I’ve never had a superb drive, but usually enjoy it during the act.
2) Having one baby does not make you an expert in parenting or recommendations, and just because your pediatrician gives a recommendation doesn’t mean it’s the law. All the research I have done shows the babies can be ready for introductionto fruits and veggies like avacados, bananas, squash, and apples between 4 and 6 months. My coworker, who has a 4 month old, said that her pediatrician said no and got rude about it. Like, cool, but your pediatrician is not the ruler of all thing infant.
🤷🏽♀️
@mrskoz428 I actually enjoy pregnancy sex once we’re in the act. My problem is usually either time or energy, especially with DS sleeping in our bed now. FFFC: Husband got laid last night for making me homemade French fries. 💁🏼♀️
Edited to add: Thank you @poshspice! It had been 11 weeks exactly and it won’t happen again anytime soon. 😂 I feel bad because I want to make him happy, but it makes me miserable so... 🤷🏽♀️
It honestly sounds like you guys are overall doing pretty well at handling most challenges that arise from his being on the spectrum. But I do hope, for both your sakes, that down the road he is willing to consider seeing someone to help him because I’m sure that it would make life that much easier for both you and him.