@Bear14+@mamanbebe@coco2787@foodislove@nolemomma14 You all bring up some good points. There will definitely still be one-offs no matter what we do, but having one ongoing questions thread would get too long after a while - no one is going to scroll through 18 pages to see if their question has been asked (which it probably has been at that point). If everyone's OK with it, I'll start a December questions thread this weekend, and if it gets super busy, we can move it to weekly.Β
We now return to my morning coffee. Thanks, 3 a.m. congestion Β
I have a strained relationship with my mother and have been trying to keep things somewhat intact over the past year with bi-weekly Facetime w/ my parents. I told them that I was pregnant right away so that we could include them in the news (to which her inappropriate response was immediately blurting out that she wants a girl.. even though she has two daughters of her own that she failed to put much effort into bonding with).
She has started texting me A LOT lately, and I do not text. I don't like having a livestream of intrusive conversations coming at me all day. She will send me huge paragraphs with multiple questions, never giving me a chance to answer one before another rolls in. Trying to buy me things that I don't want or need. Send letters just talking about herself and when I write back she responds with something completely different again just talking about herself instead of engaging. Narcissism at it's best, I suppose.Β
So, she also has a tumultuous and codependent relationship with her own mother. Surprise. I have no relationship with my grandma at this point because she's a manipulative nutso opioid abuser. So, my mom, having no filter and loving to gossip, tells my grandma that I am pregnant, without my consent, and gives her my number without my consent. So the crazy old lady calls me during bedtime routine a couple nights ago and it took everything to get her off the phone.Β
So now my mom keeps on texting trying to get me to chat with her and I'm so irritated. She also told people without my consent last time, when I explicitly told her not to. When I got upset she just assumed that because she kept quiet for 3 weeks that was enough.Β
I know I should confront her but I feel so exhausted by having someone like this as my "mother". She doesn't mother me. She doesn't support me. It's really sad and I wish it was different.Β
@mamanbebe I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I didn't have a good relationship with my mom growing up and I've found myself saying those last couple sentences to myself all the time, even as an adult. The thing that comforts me is that even though I can't change my mother, I can (and will) be the mother to my children that I needed back then. Now that I'm pregnant, I feel even more empowered to do this. We can't change the past, but we can change the future. Β
@hestia14, sounds reasonable. @mamanbebe, I'm sorry about about that.Β My relationship with my mother can be rocky, too.Β I've learning to just be patient, and try to let some of the thoughtless things she says just roll off my back, but it can be a struggle.
So I've been pretty much boobless my entire life.Β In my first few weeks of pregnancy, I've exploded from being an A to small B cup to spilling out of a C (definitely time to upgrade to D).Β And that was actually pretty cool . . . until this morning, when I noticed to angry red stretch marks on one of them in the shower.Β At just 9+4.Β Not cool.
@hoodevil0611 same thing happened to me when I got pregnant with my first. I was in denial that I was pregnant for a while but my all of a sudden huge boobs were aΒ dead giveaway.Β
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , ππππππ
I'm cleaning. My house is beyond gross, I can't even see my kitchen counters, and let's not even discuss the grotesque amount of laundry I have to wash and out away...
If H is off this weekend we might be replacing the front of our chicken coop that Beefy and our bucks tore up trying to get to an empty bucket of chicken feed. Aholes.Β
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , ππππππ
@hestia14 and @hoodevil0611 Thank you for your kind words. It's true that I cannot change her but I can control how I let her actions affect me. I am sure that part of it is that I need to stop avoiding talking frankly with her to spare her feelings. I am sure I'll find some relief in that, but it's a bummer that she will never understand where I am coming from. I hope beyond hope that I won't be remotely like that with my children.Β
@mamanbebe Hugs. Sounds like an information diet is the way to go for the rest of your pregnancy. If you need support in talking frankly, always happy to listen via PM. I really had to learn to draw lines with my mum after I got married.
@nopegoat Plans this weekend are to finish putting up holiday decor around the house and outside - DH is determine to make our house look festive this year. It's raining/storming all weekend in our region, so the outdoor stuff might not really happen. I'm a bit bummed because there's an outdoor market I really want to hit up but not in wet weather.
Trying REALLY hard to concentrate on work today. Except I'm not. Brain is completely fried. TGIF.
@foodislove Thank you I may take you up on that. In my life, I have learned to choose my words so wisely with other people to shield myself from judgement or to be more agreeable, when in reality it just leaves me feeling weak. I find this with my mother a lot, where I spare her feelings instead of protecting my own self worth.Β
@mamanbebe Iβm so sorry love π itβs hard to have people like that in your life, let alone when itβs your own mother. I hope you can find comfort in being frank with her and know that itβs better for you despite any reactions you may get. Take care of yourself β₯οΈ
I have to shout from the rooftops here because DH is at work and hasnβt responded to my texts, but we started potty training with my DS today because I think heβs finally ready and we bought him his own size potty - and HOLY MOLY heβs used it twice already!!!! Iβm one happy mama and so proud of him!!! Iβd love to have him out of diapers before the new LO arrives!Β
@nopegoat I really want to get the inside of the house decorated this weekend. Itβs been a slow go. But weβre doing Christmas card pictures on Saturday and I have a play Iβm going to that afternoon. Weβre going to see Elf. Iβm actually excited for this one!Β
Random - we had an 7-7.2 Earthquake here a little over 3 hours ago. It was right at the end of First Period for my students so most had already left my room. I had 2 doing suck and cover under the desk. We are now closing school early because of water and power issues here in the building and I am trying to figure out if I can reschedule the meeting I have this afternoon or conduct it over the phone instead.Β
This was my first earthquake. I am still a little freaked and kind of nauseous. Where I live we were not at the epicenter, but geographically about 40 miles away, so it rocked and rolled my school building for a solid minute plus aftershocks.Β
I was able to reschedule my meeting. I am leaving as soon as the school lets the teachers go. My boys' school did not get released early, but I am going to pick them up on my way home because I am done with this day. Our local Walmart is closed until further notice for clean up and repair. Hoping the other grocery stores are open so I can grab some necessary food stuff and Taco Bell for dinner tonight.Β
@mamanbebe Iβm so sorry about your mom. Itβs such a hard balance between trying to have a relationship but also setting boundaries. Weβre always hear to listen to rants and frustration!
MH company holiday party is tonight, which would typically be my jam but going home and laying on the couch sounds way better than squeezing my bloated self into a cocktail dress. Iβm hoping he doesnβt want to stay too long...
It's so wild trying to establish an adult relationship with parents. Mine were very young when they got married and had kids, and I can see that they are still probably those same, very young people trying to figure it all out. I wish they would try harder.Β
@mamanbebe I commiserate - first pregnancy all I ate for three months was mac and hotdogs. UGH, thank god this time around it seems to be pickles and spicy food. Not *too* bad if I watch what I put on the spicy food.
We decided last minute to do a little vehicle shopping for H since our old truck that he drives every day right now is about to need a lot of work. Spent the last 3.5hrs in the car driving around with the whole crew. So miserable. Besides the scary traffic, almost getting rear ended, and run off the road I've been super nauseous and extremely dizzy. Why did we think this was a good idea???Β
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , ππππππ
Re: Randoms 11/26
We now return to my morning coffee. Thanks, 3 a.m. congestion
She has started texting me A LOT lately, and I do not text. I don't like having a livestream of intrusive conversations coming at me all day. She will send me huge paragraphs with multiple questions, never giving me a chance to answer one before another rolls in. Trying to buy me things that I don't want or need. Send letters just talking about herself and when I write back she responds with something completely different again just talking about herself instead of engaging. Narcissism at it's best, I suppose.Β
So, she also has a tumultuous and codependent relationship with her own mother. Surprise. I have no relationship with my grandma at this point because she's a manipulative nutso opioid abuser. So, my mom, having no filter and loving to gossip, tells my grandma that I am pregnant, without my consent, and gives her my number without my consent. So the crazy old lady calls me during bedtime routine a couple nights ago and it took everything to get her off the phone.Β
So now my mom keeps on texting trying to get me to chat with her and I'm so irritated. She also told people without my consent last time, when I explicitly told her not to. When I got upset she just assumed that because she kept quiet for 3 weeks that was enough.Β
I know I should confront her but I feel so exhausted by having someone like this as my "mother". She doesn't mother me. She doesn't support me. It's really sad and I wish it was different.Β
/end rant.Β
@mamanbebe, I'm sorry about about that.Β My relationship with my mother can be rocky, too.Β I've learning to just be patient, and try to let some of the thoughtless things she says just roll off my back, but it can be a struggle.
So I've been pretty much boobless my entire life.Β In my first few weeks of pregnancy, I've exploded from being an A to small B cup to spilling out of a C (definitely time to upgrade to D).Β And that was actually pretty cool . . . until this morning, when I noticed to angry red stretch marks on one of them in the shower.Β At just 9+4.Β Not cool.
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I'm cleaning. My house is beyond gross, I can't even see my kitchen counters, and let's not even discuss the grotesque amount of laundry I have to wash and out away...
If H is off this weekend we might be replacing the front of our chicken coop that Beefy and our bucks tore up trying to get to an empty bucket of chicken feed. Aholes.Β
, ππππππ
@nopegoat Plans this weekend are to finish putting up holiday decor around the house and outside - DH is determine to make our house look festive this year. It's raining/storming all weekend in our region, so the outdoor stuff might not really happen. I'm a bit bummed because there's an outdoor market I really want to hit up but not in wet weather.
Trying REALLY hard to concentrate on work today. Except I'm not. Brain is completely fried. TGIF.
This was my first earthquake. I am still a little freaked and kind of nauseous. Where I live we were not at the epicenter, but geographically about 40 miles away, so it rocked and rolled my school building for a solid minute plus aftershocks.Β
I have an Aunt there and she was about to get in the car to do errands. I'm so glad she wasn't on the road when it hit.Β
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@indulgentgypsy Glad youβre okay!
MH company holiday party is tonight, which would typically be my jam but going home and laying on the couch sounds way better than squeezing my bloated self into a cocktail dress. Iβm hoping he doesnβt want to stay too long...
It's so wild trying to establish an adult relationship with parents. Mine were very young when they got married and had kids, and I can see that they are still probably those same, very young people trying to figure it all out. I wish they would try harder.Β
@nopegoat we are doing Disney on ice tomorrow. I canβt decideΒ if Iβm excited to see my daughter be thrilled or dreading the entire thing.Β
We call him Russell the muscle a lot because the kiddo is just balls to the wall and doesn't take anything from his big brothers.Β
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