Say What?!? — The Bump
March 2019 Moms

Say What?!?

Because apparently our pregnancies remove other’s filters, a thread for all of those inappropriate, awkward or rude comments; let’s also share the super sweet ones!

Ticker warning 


Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

«134

Re: Say What?!?

  • Kicking this off... a coworker stopped by my desk and her first remark was “look at that belly” with a slightly incredulous face. Followed by “wait, you’re only 5.5 months?” 

    Ticker warning 


    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

    mamakate1616kapowfalkristimh80zionsmama85
  • Last pregnancy I had a coworker refer to me as "heavy with child." He's British so I let is slide, but it still annoys me. I also had an acquaintance ask me if it was planned... No, I've been with my husband for 10 years, married for 6, I'm 29 years old, we both have good jobs and own a house... no it was a complete surprise. *eyeroll emoji. I'm on desktop*

    This time when I told my coworkers (all old men) I brought in cookies and had an ultrasound pic to put by the plate. One guy said "oh no..." and another said "you know what causes that right?"
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    kristimh80govanalyst86
  • At Thanksgiving a particularly unpleasant member of my extended family made loud comments about my size, asked if I was really due in March, and then proceeded to ask how much my two year old weighs and pronounce that she is “stout”. Who says that about a child? For reference my daughter is above 90th percentile in height and weight, so proportionally large, and also practically perfect in every way, like Mary Poppins 🤣
    mamakate1616kristimh80flyingmombula
  • @lucysmom2016 I had a similar sweet moment yesterday evening with a girl from my son's daycare class. She also exclaimed "There is a baby in your tummy!" and then came to touch my belly. I melted. And my son himself is also very sweet, he often comes to kiss my belly and say "Hi baby, I'm your big brother!". Even DH got emotional when he saw him doing that the first time :blush:

    Rude: I have one very sour coworker, and on Monday during a planning meeting for the next 2 weeks she asks in this demanding tone "when are you going on maternity leave?'. I was really taken aback, since I told everyone I'm due in March and not going on vacation until then. Does she imply I look big (I already feel like that, no need to tell me!), or that she wants me out sooner, or what else? I really hope for a promotion in February and want to make sure nobody thinks I'm not pushing for it hard enough because I'm pregnant. 


    kristimh80lucysmom2016
  • @meggyme I have had extended family members ask if ours was planned too. One of them even also said "I knew this was coming! I was waiting for it!" How can you both be expecting us to have a baby soon AND wonder if it was planned? You were expecting us to have an unplanned baby?
    govanalyst86
  • Little kids and babies are so cute! Every day DD rubs my belly and talks to her sissy. She will hug and kiss my belly when I drop her off for the day and calls her a little chubby cheeks. It's always so cute!
    As for rude and annoying, I might have mentioned this one a long while ago. When we called my SIL to tell her we were pregnant, the first thing she said was "Oh, I didn't think you guys wanted another one". She then proceeded to tell us all about how to take care of a newborn because her girlfriend gave her a detailed "to-do" manual for pregnancy and the first year. She has no kids, she is just now pregnant with her first. I guess being pregnant makes you an expert all of a sudden! This is not my first rodeo lady!
    Dx: Non-IR PCOS
    Baby Girl K #1 Born 3/8/14
    Baby Girl K #2 EDD 3/3/19
    lucysmom2016
  • @3rdtime_charmed ....what???!!!!
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
  • No rude comments, but I did get my first unsolicited and unwanted belly rub of both pregnancies. It was an older lady at church who I think thinks we're closer than we are. I mean she's nice and everything, but she's not much more than a stranger. We have a mutual friend, so I think she feels super close to us for some reason. Anyway, yea, she rubbed my belly, and it weirded me out so much. I don't get why people do that. You're not cuddling the baby or touching the baby, you're touching someone's stomach. I kind of pulled away and if she does it again, I'm definitely going to say something. It's so creepy.
    kristimh80mayoduckmamakate1616
  • @3rdtime_charmed My mind is boggled, omg.

    I've had a lot of sweet comments, mainly about my appearance which is nice but a little tiresome, but I've had a couple people say "you're going to be a great mom" which feels good.

    For annoying comments... At Thanksgiving an irritating relative badgered me over and over about a name, which we don't have picked out yet and haven't discussed with anyone. Lady, why would I tell you "what's in my top 3" if I haven't shared that with my own mother??

    But the absolute kicker was at work the other day. I was going into my boss's office to discuss a client issue (a normal thing that happens every single day), and another manager was going out at the same time and said, "I better get out of the way... She's pregnant, she might cry, or she might stab me!!"

    Wt actual f??


    Me: 30 & DH: 30
    Married in 2013
    TTC #1 since Nov 2017
    BFP in Jan 2018 - MC in March 2018
    BFP in July 2018 - expecting our rainbow. Baby boy is due March 26th, 2019!


  • @lovesclimbing I agree, even my mother rubbing my belly gets annoying, I couldn't imagine a stranger! I've gotten to where when my mom does it, I jokingly rub her's back because it's strange to be all around.
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Baby Girl born 3/26/19  <3



    mamakate1616lucysmom2016
  • mihaelams1mihaelams1
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited November 2018
    @3rdtime_charmed yours is the winner for sure! It just made my day :smiley:

    @diaphena any option to report that guy to HR? To me it feels like it crosses a line already.


    mamakate1616diaphenagovanalyst86
  • @diaphena What the heck? Although, I'd kind of want to stab a person after a comment like that.
    mamakate1616diaphenaflyingmombula
  • To start off, we're team green and everyone is aware of this. Secondly, I have to get monthly growth scans.
    At thanksgiving cleaning up I mention to DW that her aunt took one look at me and said it is a boy. I understand it's all conjecture and I think it's fun/ amusing to get these comments. My mil heard this and said, " why don't you just find out at the next ultrasound?" not kindly I should add. I don't understand why it bugs her so much. It's not her first grandchild, but it's her daughter's first child.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - YeTq
  • @mihaelams1 I thought about it for a hot second. I do think it crosses a line in a way that's reportable, but I'm not sure it's worth it to me. I may talk to my direct supervisor though and see what she suggests.

    @mayoduck I know right?? I wanted to kick her in the face lol

    @Kenneylynn3 I'm sorry your MIL is so hung up on the gender. That's definitely weird. Especially since I'm assuming she's probably the same age range as my parents, and never found out the gender of her own kids before birth!


    Me: 30 & DH: 30
    Married in 2013
    TTC #1 since Nov 2017
    BFP in Jan 2018 - MC in March 2018
    BFP in July 2018 - expecting our rainbow. Baby boy is due March 26th, 2019!


    Kenneylynn3
  • @diaphena that's what I thought too. However this isn't her first grandchild, and for some reasons everything we do involving this pregnancy is being compared to how/ what my sil did...ie baby shower (their's was co-ed so ours should be, which I later found out it wasn't and so did my mil so now its not going to be) nevermind the fact that we are both girls, they didn't do announcement pics, so why are we? My nieces are about to be 7 and 10. I normally get along with my mil very well, so I don't know what happened.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - YeTq
    diaphena
  • @Kenneylynn3 Ugh, that's so annoying! I can't imagine dealing with all of that. 

    I didn't have a rant until this evening. Right before I locked up my office, a buyer came in. He couldn't help keep staring at my stomach. It was very weird to me. Guess I'll get use to it but for the love of it lol It felt as bad as some creepy guy staring at your boobs.
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Baby Girl born 3/26/19  <3



  • This morning as I walked to my desk one of the guys who is normally sweet and says "How y'all doing today?" to me every morning apparently felt he needed a new joke. He made a big show out of making more room when there was a perfectly adequate amount of space for me to pass and said "Gotta make more room for you!" While I didn't exactly call him out, I did say "Ouch!!!" and when a coworker asked what was wrong I said loudly "He said I take up a lot of space" and then he said "Wow! Ouch!" Hopefully he'll come up with a joke we can all think is funny by Monday.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    flyingmombula
  • @Kenneylynn3 that sucks!  I got accused of secretly knowing what we're having and just not telling anyone by my dad on Thanksgiving. Um, nope.  Still don't know. Nice to know you think I'm a liar though!
    Kenneylynn3
  • HoneyBear40HoneyBear40
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited November 2018
    I've got a couple from way back when we first told some family.
    -Talking to my mom about it and she says "I told your Dad you'd do all that work to get in shape and lose weight and you'd probably wind up pregnant." Wind up. Not kidding those were her words. Yes, I was working to get in shape but it was with the mindset that I wanted a healthier pregnancy when we did find out we were expecting again.
    -My grandma comes from a large family and has a large family of her own. This baby will be great-grandchild #11, with #10 just being born in August. Facetiming with her & grandpa to show them that first ultrasound and she says "look Frank an ultrasound she's pregnant again" with a tone that would say this is like my 10th child. I just had to laugh.

    Oh! and the comments about people showing or not showing absolutely drive me bonkers! Sorry to everyone going through them too. Last time I was "too big" in the early stages and now this time I've been getting "are you even showing?" "how are you already ___ weeks? you don't look like it" Gah.
    kristimh80
  • On Thanksgiving I got to endure lots of male extended family, passing by me to get to the garage where they could drink some more, and one of them intentionally poking me in the belly as he went. I made the comment, "don't touch it, I may pop" and he just laughs and makes some stupid comment as they all snigger as they go. Later my aunt, who doesn't know my high risk situation or even my due date told me that she hopes the baby comes sooner rather than later. I told her that I hope it's later because I'm not due for months and then I get the typical horrified gasp I get from everyone who learns my due date. (sigh) I will say that since I don't go to FB every day and spout my life story, most people in my extended family don't know what I'm going through. So unless they see me all the time and already know, or, like one kind cousin who actually came to talk to me about what I'm dealing with, they wouldn't know that I'm having a hard time this PG and already feel like I need to be rolled to the juicing room! 

    I'm getting used to answering all the questions by strangers and friends at church/school but the horrified gasps and looks are really starting to wear. I have taken to only going out when I absolutely have to. Not just because riding in the car is hard and so is walking, but because at this point I'd rather hide myself away. Not really easy to do though when you have other kids to take care of and one in school/dance.
  • I'm in a lab class taught by a teaching assistant who is probably around my age or a few years younger. I didn't know her before this class but I told her I was pregnant earlier in the semester because I really wasn't feeling great one day. Ever since I told her, she started coming up to me in the middle of class and whispering things like "but you're still so skinny!".

    I started really showing through even my baggiest of clothes in the last few weeks, though, so her tone has changed. We're having a practical test next week where we need to walk around the classroom and ID plant species laid out on the lab benches and yesterday she said to me "Good luck next week - let me know if you need to sit down and have me bring the specimens to you!".

    I always just laugh and joke back which I guess is giving her the signal that it's appropriate.. but it's like, do you really need to make some comment about my body every week in the middle of class when we're surrounded by 20-year old undergraduates? 
    kristimh80flyingmombula
  • Oh, I forgot the comment I got last pregnancy. I was somewhere in the late teen weeks and hadn't gained a pound yet. And my idiot extended relative (male) said, "The only acceptable time to tell a woman this, boy, you're getting fat!" I was appalled and informed him that I hadn't gained any weight. This is the same idiot cousin who called me fat when I was in high school (and l certainly wasn't. I was pretty average) and proceeded to get a tongue lashing about why you don't call women fat from my dad. 

    I really hate the pregnancy weight gain = getting fat that some people seem to compare. It is not the same thing!
    kristimh80flyingmombula
  • Today while shadowing my supervisor, as I've been doing for awhile so I kind of know these people but not really, one lady noticed my belly and said "looks like you're in a predicament!" That's kind of just her personality and I wasn't offended, but thought it was a funny (and bold) way to say it since she doesn't know anything about my situation other than I work here and am pregnant.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    mamakate1616
  • Both of these were a couple of weeks ago - my grandma told me 'now you are getting fat like me!' Ummm actually no, and actually she isn't fat, but what can you do. And a total stranger at a u-haul rental place, who was there with her daughter (who was a young mother) and grandkid (probably about 2 playing an elmo game on a tablet) told me to  'get used to it because you look like you have a lot of elmo in your future.' and I did not know what to say. It was cold so I was wearing my late grandpa's wool sweater and my husband's jacket. I went with 'haha yeah you called it' but also aren't you not supposed to say things like that?!!?! 
    mamakate1616
  • Oh, and I just remembered. The same lady who rubbed my belly made a comment along the lines of "naughty, naughty under your parent's roof." We stayed with my in-laws for a few extended periods this summer. First, I conceived a month before we left. Pregnancy math really isn't that hard. And second, umm, since when is it wrong to have sex when living in the same house as other people? It was just a very weird comment about our sex lives. 
  • A week after I delivered DD1, the H's grandfather looked at me and said "you look like you haven't even had the baby yet."  That takes the cake in terms of comments I've received while pregnant at any point. 

    This time around, people just feel the need to tell me that, since we're having another girl, I'm going to be miserable in 10 years and it won't stop for 10 more after that.  As if it is impossible to have decent tween/teen daughters. 
  • Omgosh you gals have had some crazy things said to you!! Some were hilarious even though rude so thank you for sharing. 

    Fortunately I haven’t really had any comments but I’m currently getting a pedicure and the girl is pretty young. The face she made when she saw my cankles was pure horror  :D :# Plus LO is having a super active day (yay!) so I have my hand on my stomach feeling him kick and she asked if I was ok, when I told her I was just feeling baby kick her eyes about popped out of her head. 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
  • I've had this one a few times at work and each time I'm getting more and more irritable with my response: "Are you sure there's just one in there?" LO is measuring in the 99th percentile for size and I am definitively larger than I anticipated I'd be at this stage, but have some class.

    A few weeks ago I went to visit my old job where I was a waitress for several years and had several "regulars". One of the older gentlemen/regulars saw me come into the diner and yelled across the restaurant, "Hey there fat girl! We wondered if you'd ever get knocked up!". I was absolutely shocked by that one and just walked away from him without acknowledging him.

    I've also had a few people recently tell me how "cute" I look with my waddle. I'm not quite sure how to take those ones.

    This is my first child and despite being warned, I am still shocked at the lack of boundaries people suddenly have with pregnant women.

  • I've had this one a few times at work and each time I'm getting more and more irritable with my response: "Are you sure there's just one in there?" LO is measuring in the 99th percentile for size and I am definitively larger than I anticipated I'd be at this stage, but have some class.

    A few weeks ago I went to visit my old job where I was a waitress for several years and had several "regulars". One of the older gentlemen/regulars saw me come into the diner and yelled across the restaurant, "Hey there fat girl! We wondered if you'd ever get knocked up!". I was absolutely shocked by that one and just walked away from him without acknowledging him.

    I've also had a few people recently tell me how "cute" I look with my waddle. I'm not quite sure how to take those ones.

    This is my first child and despite being warned, I am still shocked at the lack of boundaries people suddenly have with pregnant women.

    Depending on the relationship you had with this man, it might not have bothered me. I likely would have laughed and said "it's about time, right?!" My dad has friends who have this kind of humor and it's what I was raised around, so that could be why I could easily brush it off. I'm sorry that it bothered you though

    We have two sleeping beauties in heaven.
    Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. 
    Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
    They will be forever missed. <3
       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @cancer2988 what an incredibly rude comment!
  • @cancer2988 I'm a pretty sarcastic person myself and it would have irritated me some. Since you don't work there anymore, you should have said something as rude back and laughed. I'm sure he was just joking...I know for me, being pregnant, I'm more sensitive that I use to be.

    At the taco place last night, of course, had behind the loud drunk lady that wanted to chat the whole time. She was like "oh I thought you were my sister for a minute, but she's not pregnant." Being a FTM, it threw me off. 1/2 the time, I wonder still how noticeable it is...but I guess she answered that lol
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Baby Girl born 3/26/19  <3



    flyingmombula
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards