Say What?!? - Page 3 — The Bump
March 2019 Moms

Say What?!?

13

Re: Say What?!?

  • @blueberry0326 I would be livid if anyone made such a request! Maybe it’s a generational thing, like perceptions of birth weren’t as informed during our parents/grandparents time? I mean, our uterus isn’t just a handy purse that carries baby around until we’re ready for him/her. They are doing some vital growing and developing in there, sheesh. 
  • @blueberry0326 ; woah! that's so ridiculous it's comical. I have NO idea how I could possibly be polite in response to a request like that!! 

    Luckily, I haven't been interacting with too many people on a daily basis and those I do see regularly have basic manners. Yesterday was a little different... I had my first graduate school committee meeting which included four professors who serve as research advisors, two of whom I don't know very well. We were discussing setting up a meeting in mid-February and one woman advisor with a young child said "we shouldn't plan it for later than that because your head will be clouded with nerves and anticipation!" to which one of the older, male advisors chimed in and said "how do you know her head isn't already clouded due to all of those surging hormones?!". I'm pretty sure that I just gave him a dirty look and said "... thanks for that" and then there was tense laughing and everyone moved on. He's an awkward scientist that spends most of his days staring at fungal spores under a microscope so I don't expect him to have great social skills, but anyone that has ever watched a sitcom should know that it's not cool to tell a woman she's being hormonal! 
  • @bug_hunter Ugh. Older male scientists are a species all their own. Talk about a group of people lacking social graces! 
    bug_hunter
  • @maggiemadeit Haha yeah, I know you understand the ridiculous world of academia. I feel like universities are viewed as being dominated by liberal thinking but for some reason having more Priuses in a faculty parking lot doesn't seem to correlate with greater respect for women.... 
    maggiemadeitflyingmombula
  • So there's this one guy in my office that I know casually that keeps telling me how beautiful and womanly he thinks pregnant women are. While I guess I agree, it's a strange thing to say to a casual acquaintance. Especially when it's your only real interaction with them anymore.

    I had another guy I met for 5 minutes asking about my pregnancy as well. I get it, it's pretty obvious, but that's not why I'm here so I don't really feel compelled to talk about my family with a complete stranger.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @meggyme That is borderline creepy in a sense. I'm sure he means well, but I think it would also make my skin crawl a little. 
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Baby Girl born 3/26/19  <3



    BuckeyeNut05lucysmom2016kapowfal
  • @kristimh80 yeah, but isn't any interaction like that at work. The other day the guy who had told everyone to make more room for me a few months ago told me I hadn't gained hardly any weight. It's like, did this seem more appropriate to say in your head? Because you'd never say anything like that if I weren't pregnant. Because it's rude... and it still is.

    Although I did rag on them awhile ago when I joked that I was trying to catch up with all their pot bellies, so maybe I brought it on myself.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    mamakate1616navete
  • I have had some weird comments about how beautiful pregnant women are too, followed up later by creepy stares. I think I’ve mentioned the “booby fairy” comment before. 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
  • Yep. Seems like the bigger and more obviously pregnant I get, the more inappropriate people get in general, and men in particular are getting more creepy. Got a super uncomfortable up-and-down look and "heyyy, howyadoinnn" by someone else's client when I passed them in the hallway the other day and it made my skin crawl a little. Yesterday was the first time a client touched my belly (thankfully at least it was a woman), and then later my male coworker touched it too!!! I almost died of awkwardness and just pushed his hand away and said "no". He at least looked a little ashamed of himself. 

    Why are people so weird about pregnancy??


    Me: 30 & DH: 30
    Married in 2013
    TTC #1 since Nov 2017
    BFP in Jan 2018 - MC in March 2018
    BFP in July 2018 - expecting our rainbow. Baby boy is due March 26th, 2019!


  • @diaphena Wow! I'm shocked a male co-worker would even attempt to touch your belly! Usually, men are so worried about doing those things. 

    I've gotten to the point at work, if I don't want to deal with people, I'll lock myself in the back and pretend no one is around. I think my "give a crap" has gone out the window. Plus, our clientele where I work is very high maintenance. It's bad enough that corporate tells us we have the most high maintenance one's in the region. And my fuse is short these days. I fell like I should consider taking off already lol
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Baby Girl born 3/26/19  <3



  • @kristimh80 I was shocked too, I think that's why I responded how I did lol. This coworker is someone I used to work closely with and he's always had some issues with understanding boundaries, so even though it was a shock it wasn't surprising if that makes sense. My fuse is getting shorter by the day too, I had a frustrating morning and texted DH that I was going to walk out lol. I didn't but it was tempting. Wouldn't it be great if we could have "3rd tri leave"? Haha.


    Me: 30 & DH: 30
    Married in 2013
    TTC #1 since Nov 2017
    BFP in Jan 2018 - MC in March 2018
    BFP in July 2018 - expecting our rainbow. Baby boy is due March 26th, 2019!


    kristimh80
  • @diaphena when I lived in CA we could take the month before our due date off without it effecting maternity leave. It was awesome. I so wish I were pregnant in California again.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    diaphena
  • @diaphena That's insane! I can barely get DH to touch my stomach but to have a random male coworker touch it? whoa.
    diaphena
  • @diaphena Yes!! I believe we all deserve 3rd trimester leave!!! I came home the other day and already told MH I was done and didn't know how much longer I could take it. 
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Baby Girl born 3/26/19  <3



    diaphena
  • Yes, it seems like when you get pregnant you suddenly become a celebrity at work. I had a coworker ask me about my pregnancy today while I was waiting for my coffee, and how I'm coping, and if I get enough sleep. Mind you, this is the first time we ever talked, he works on the same floor, but in a different team and we never interacted more than with a nod previously!
    diaphena
  • @PhillyBelle good for you for standing up for yourself and mothers everywhere! I probably would have just cried. The audacity of someone to say something like that to a stranger is incredible!
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @PhillyBelle that's awful! I will never understand what goes through some people's heads, to think a comment like that would ever be okay. Good on you for telling that guy off! I think I would have been too stunned to respond. I say keep going she hulk on whoever needs it, lol.


    Me: 30 & DH: 30
    Married in 2013
    TTC #1 since Nov 2017
    BFP in Jan 2018 - MC in March 2018
    BFP in July 2018 - expecting our rainbow. Baby boy is due March 26th, 2019!


  • Ew. I'm horrified but everyone's posts!!! I'm feeling very grateful that I've only had to interact with a handful of people on a daily basis since I've started to really look pregnant. I don't know how I'd respond to a male coworker repeatedly mentioning how attractive he finds pregnant women or touching my belly. And why would anyone think it's okay to demean a teenage mother (whether or not the woman is actually a teenager)? Ugh. I'm sorry to everyone dealing with creeps and a-holes! 
  • @3rdtime_charmed Since you're having twins...I hope you had a good comeback to that. I would be like...you know, as a matter of fact! lol
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Baby Girl born 3/26/19  <3



    3rdtime_charmed
  • I got the pregnant teenager comment quite a bit with my first (I was 21 when pregnant, but married).  if out with my brother who was 5 years younger, he’d get asked if it was his... poor kid. (my husband worked nights so I spent a ton of time with family)



    We have two sleeping beauties in heaven.
    Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. 
    Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
    They will be forever missed. <3
       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Another bump related comment today. I saw a client who I haven’t seen in a few weeks and she says “you are getting big! I can’t beleive you aren’t due until March”. I then explained how really I only have 5.5 weeks until my due date. But still.....
    Dx: Non-IR PCOS
    Baby Girl K #1 Born 3/8/14
    Baby Girl K #2 EDD 3/3/19
  • Can relate with the weird conversations at work. I don't regularly share many personal details about my life, so being pregnant has been a challenge in that regard. People ask very personal questions. The most recent I've gotten has been if I was planning to breastfeed or not then tons of unsolicited advice regardless of how vague I keep my answers (I am planning on breastfeeding, but always answer "we will see what works best when the time comes"). Also, lots of questions on if I am planning to have her all natural or with epidural, and again, their opinion of what I should do. 

    I would say that people mean well, but I have barely spoken to these people prior to becoming pregnant, so I have no idea. Haha. 
  • Coming here as this just happened and I'm trying real hard to fight back tears over it...it's stupid to be upset but I think I've already reached my limit with pregnancy comments.
    53 year old coworker who has NEVER been pregnant herself just came up to my desk (I sit near the door for the bathroom) and says "Oh, I just came to see what you're eating now since you're eating every time I'm up here." Mind you, she came up at 7:30 this morning when I was eating the breakfast I didn't get to eat this morning because DD woke up early and threw off our morning routine and now just came up at what I would consider to be an "early lunch". I got snarky and told her "F*** you I'm almost 31 weeks pregnant." Her response? "I'm only teasing you but seriously you're eating every time I come up here."

    Needless to say, I'm no longer eating. I've lost all appetite and put my lunch away.
  • @HoneyBear40 that’s such crap, you’re growing a human, you need food to do that! Why do people feel that it’s appropriate to make comments like that? Good for you for getting snarky with her, it was well deserved. If it makes you feeling any better I really am eating at my desk a solid 60% of the time... 🤷‍♀️
    Ticker warning 


    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

    HoneyBear40wabash15
  • @HoneyBear40 - omg I’m so stabby on your behalf! How is that appropriate in any way, shape, or form?? Eff her! :rage:  
    *TW*
    Me: 37 DH: 40
    Married: 2016
    BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
    BFP#2 7/14/18, Brian 4/5/19
    lucysmom2016HoneyBear40
  • @HoneyBear40 good for you for snapping at her!  I'm basically never not eating right now. She's probably just jealous she can't do the same!
    kapowfalmihaelams1HoneyBear40
  • @HoneyBear40 Omg that is soooo rude!!!! I eat literally almost constantly!!! And also don't we live in a world where it is inappropriate to comment on what people eat, pregnant or not??? 
    HoneyBear40
  • @HoneyBear40 Screw her! Take care of yourself and your baby and don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about it! I'm glad you snapped back at her, but sorry you had to deal with it at all. People suck.
    HoneyBear40
  • @HoneyBear40 everyone has already said it, but that totally pisses me off on your behalf. That's just such a bitchy thing to say...we are pregnant and growing entirely new people. That takes food!! I feel like I am currently eating like a Hobbit (breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, second lunch...haha) and it's nobody's business - especially a work colleague. Good for you for standing up for yourself and not accepting that comment. So, so sorry you were treated unkindly. 
    HoneyBear40dtspmamawabash15
  • Thank you all so much ladies for feeling all the rage with me <3 the logical part of my brain says quit being stupid but my emotions just took a hit with that one. I love the bathroom suggestions - definitely might keep a tally!
    lelkcotmaggiemadeitBuckeyeNut05dtspmama
  • @HoneyBear40 Screw her old batty self! Hopefully you snapping back will make her think twice now. But she sounds like the type that probably went back to her desk to gossip some more. Just remind yourself, it’s almost time for maternity leave!!! But I do love the potty break comments and would be so fun if you started using them! 
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Baby Girl born 3/26/19  <3



    HoneyBear40
  • @honeybear40 that pissed me off on your behalf. I am literally speechless. Don't let the crap get to you though, you are pregnant and we constantly eat, and not in a bad way, but just to keep the energy of making a whole new person. What an a-hole. 
    HoneyBear40
  • @honeybear40 WHAT?! Your coworker's comment was out of line regardless of whether it was meant in a light-hearted manner or based in any truth. Also, she sounds really nosey. What business is it of hers what you're eating?
    mamakate1616HoneyBear40
  • Ditto all... just wow. :rage:
    makes me so thankful for my crew who is usually asking me why I am *not* eating at any given moment. 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
    HoneyBear40kristimh80
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