One question I do detest is when people ask if my wife and I are sisters. I always say "No. We're married." That makes them feel satisfyingly awkward. I'm gonna start going around asking obviously straight couples if they're brother/sister. See how skeevy that makes them feel.
@wishiwaspreggo OMG that's so weird. People occasionally assume my brother and I are married. We don't even get along very well, they're just lazy and don't want to think it through.
@kvh22 - I've never understood why anyone feels the need to ask a pair of people if they're married, sisters, brothers, etc. Like who the f cares? Unless we're signing some kind of form or contract together you don't need to know my relationship to the person I'm with. Nosy people annoy me.
I couldn't believe my big sister and grandmas reaction when i tried to tell my family i was pregnant. I had just found out and i was only 6w. My sister actually said " I already know and you're a fucking idiot." I mean i know she doesn't want to have kids but who says something like that to there sister. I wanted everyone to be excited for me. Then my grandma said "wow u must be having twins your already showing".... It broke my heart first my big sister was so mean then my grams called me fat. i went home and cryed.....
@brie_and_almonds - Yikes!!! I have seen straight couples who look like they *could* be brother and sister. A girl I went to high school with has a few distinct features (strawberry blonde hair, pale skin, freckles, wide set eyes) that she somehow found in her husband when I saw pictures of him later. It was kind of jarring because he looks like he could literally be her brother.
I actually think a lot of people who get married look sort of similar. Not usually enough to be siblings, but they look like they "go together" if that makes sense, which was probably subconsciously part of why they're attracted to each other! Obviously that's not true for everyone because some people are attracted to those who look completely different but I've seen it a bunch. H and I are completely different races but we do look like we "go together"
I actually think a lot of people who get married look sort of similar. Not usually enough to be siblings, but they look like they "go together" if that makes sense, which was probably subconsciously part of why they're attracted to each other! Obviously that's not true for everyone because some people are attracted to those who look completely different but I've seen it a bunch. H and I are completely different races but we do look like we "go together"
Well, now I obviously want to see side-by-sides of everyone to determine if they go together.
I couldn't believe my big sister and grandmas reaction when i tried to tell my family i was pregnant. I had just found out and i was only 6w. My sister actually said " I already know and you're a fucking idiot." I mean i know she doesn't want to have kids but who says something like that to there sister. I wanted everyone to be excited for me. Then my grandma said "wow u must be having twins your already showing".... It broke my heart first my big sister was so mean then my grams called me fat. i went home and cryed.....
I actually think a lot of people who get married look sort of similar. Not usually enough to be siblings, but they look like they "go together" if that makes sense, which was probably subconsciously part of why they're attracted to each other! Obviously that's not true for everyone because some people are attracted to those who look completely different but I've seen it a bunch. H and I are completely different races but we do look like we "go together"
Well, now I obviously want to see side-by-sides of everyone to determine if they go together.
@sleepy33 you'll see ours when we get to Facebook Some of my parents friends at my wedding thought H was my brother, I was like - why are you even here if you don't know who I am, who the groom is, and who my actual brother is?!
Well, now I obviously want to see side-by-sides of everyone to determine if they go together.
I third this! DH and I look nothing alike despite both being western european muts. I have red hair and freckles and he has dark brown hair and tan skin, plus is 9" taller than me with a totally different build. His 5 o'clock shadow when he was 20 made him look 30 and 18 year old me looked 14 or 15. Pictures of us back then just look...weird...and creepy.
Well, now I obviously want to see side-by-sides of everyone to determine if they go together.
I third this! DH and I look nothing alike despite both being western european muts. I have red hair and freckles and he has dark brown hair and tan skin, plus is 9" taller than me with a totally different build. His 5 o'clock shadow when he was 20 made him look 30 and 18 year old me looked 14 or 15. Pictures of us back then just look...weird...and creepy.
DH and I definitely get the brother/sister comment- both with dark hair and bright blue eyes. He is way smaller framed then I am (particularly noticeable after my post-birth weight gain). People always comment on DD's beautiful eyes to me and say they are just like mine, when they are actually the spitting image of DH's eyes- gorgeous thick eyelashes and all- but they refuse to believe that because my eyes are blue as well.
Dh and I have never gotten a brother/sister comment but we definitely have similar features. We can’t really tell who ds looks more like since everything is so close!
@sleepy33 I wouldn't say siblings but you do "go together"! So cute! For the record, I don't think H and I look like siblings even if a rando or two at my wedding did At least I hope we don't look like siblings...
My main point was I see a lot of families where the parents have similar features. Not all, but a lot. Including mine, which is interracial.
DH and I look nothing like each other. He doesn’t really look like his siblings, either. Funnily enough, DD looks like she’s SIL’s and my offspring. She doesn’t really look like DH or me, though. 🤷🏻♀️
So my BFF is half African (her dad is Ghanain) and half white. Her mother remarried a white man and they had a completely white baby. When BFF would be out in public holding the baby, people would ask her if this very white baby was hers. And she was 13 years old. WTF, people.
@poshspice okay...being 13 that's weird, but my limited experience with friends on FB having mixed race babies, they're all very white at first. I'm white and look young and would get asked if kids I was babysitting were my kids every once in a while so I'm leaning more towards being impressed that they weren't assuming the baby couldn't be hers than stereotyping about young African American girls. Hard to say out of context.
@kvh22 where we grew up, she got mistaken for Tongan/Samoan a lot, and teen motherhood was pretty common as well. But really the baby looked nothing like her - you would not know they are sisters now that baby sis is 17, either. My DD is 1/4 Asian and she looked very Asian when she was born/a tiny baby, and has grown into looking pretty white. So I’m going to say definitely not all mixed race babies start out looking white. I also looked completely Asian when I was born and grew into looking more white as I got older.
@poshspice yea, I figured context was important. That all makes sense. The instances I was thinking of were specifically African American and white babies or Latino and white babies. That was more the demographic of my hometown. Where I am now has a lot more of a mix of all races but my friends here aren't having kids yet so I don't have much experience with Asian mixed babies.
@poshspice I nannied a little in college and someone asked me if a white, blonde baby was mine. I am Asian too but brown skinned with black hair. Like, no.
Flash forward to me having a baby with a white man - he was definitely much lighter at birth than he is now but DS was very clearly not a caucasian baby. Now he looks like a good mix of me and H but he definitely has my coloring H is a more tan white and he also happens to have black hair though, so we all "mesh" well in the looks department.
I finally told my mother that I am pregnant on Tuesday after anatomy scan #1. These were her awesome comments/questions: "I knew it, I could smell it on you" (She saw me on Black Friday) Like what? I don't even know what that means.... "You look completely different than the first time you were pregnant" (*TW* that one ended at 22weeks) "Was this planned or an oopsie like the first time?" Umm, why does this matter... DH and I have been married for over 5 years, are homeowners, and are financially stable, but yes it was planned (with the first pregnancy DH and I had been married for 2ish years, homeowners (same house, bought it 10 years ago), financially stable as well so even though that one was a surprise-NTNP- we were in a good spot). "Can you pop out a couple more before you are 40?" (I'm 36 now, 37 when baby will arrive) Can I get this one out safely and healthy first? And this is why I was avoiding telling her.....
@MelissaMay82 no wonder why you waited. I'm sorry that she couldn't be more supportive or at least less offensive when you told her the exciting news. Hang in there -
I haven’t gotten anything too awful, but the most original came from one of my friends via group chat:
“My trick for guessing if E**** is pregnant is just a curve that starts at 0.0000001% nine months after the previous kid and then slowly starts climbing til 100 as it approaches the three year mark”
I corrected him and told him that it’s more of a two year mark but whatever.
Re: Innappropriate Comments/Questions Thread
My main point was I see a lot of families where the parents have similar features. Not all, but a lot. Including mine, which is interracial.
So my BFF is half African (her dad is Ghanain) and half white. Her mother remarried a white man and they had a completely white baby. When BFF would be out in public holding the baby, people would ask her if this very white baby was hers. And she was 13 years old. WTF, people.
Flash forward to me having a baby with a white man - he was definitely much lighter at birth than he is now but DS was very clearly not a caucasian baby. Now he looks like a good mix of me and H but he definitely has my coloring
"I knew it, I could smell it on you" (She saw me on Black Friday) Like what? I don't even know what that means....
"You look completely different than the first time you were pregnant" (*TW* that one ended at 22weeks)
"Was this planned or an oopsie like the first time?" Umm, why does this matter... DH and I have been married for over 5 years, are homeowners, and are financially stable, but yes it was planned (with the first pregnancy DH and I had been married for 2ish years, homeowners (same house, bought it 10 years ago), financially stable as well so even though that one was a surprise-NTNP- we were in a good spot).
"Can you pop out a couple more before you are 40?" (I'm 36 now, 37 when baby will arrive) Can I get this one out safely and healthy first?
And this is why I was avoiding telling her.....
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Hang in there -
I haven’t gotten anything too awful, but the most original came from one of my friends via group chat:
“My trick for guessing if E**** is pregnant is just a curve that starts at 0.0000001% nine months after the previous kid and then slowly starts climbing til 100 as it approaches the three year mark”
I corrected him and told him that it’s more of a two year mark but whatever.
DD: 8/20/14; DS: 11/13/16; DD: 5/3/19; DD: 8/31/21; Baby #5 (team green) due 3/24/24