@SpaceBurger - you hold have told them that unfortunately you likely had to take 3 days for the birth, but you're planning to be back after that break and ready to go!
My mom and I had a very infuriating conversation about breast feeding where she told me it was gross, and since the invention of formula it's unnatural 🤨 uh what? Okay, go on drinking your milk from dirty cow tits, while I feed my son unnatural milk 🙄
@mrskoz428 if she had her way, I would be birthing via csection and feeding formula like she did. And she's talking unnatural... Lady smoked pot and cigarettes her whole pregnancy... Queen of natural minded choices, obviously 😒
@knarlytaurus seriously. I have no issues whatsoever with formula, and I'll use it if I have to, but I liked breast feeding. I liked the convenience of it and that it didn't matter what was wrong, the second I put baby to breast, he calmed down. If it hurts again this time, I will not be doing it for as long, but I will do it as long as I can.
It's crazy, @eatinwatermelonseeds since medical evidence is against uneccesary c-sections and strongly recommends breastfeeding if it is possible. It sounds similar to advice my MIL got from her doctor- to keep 2nd baby's weight down (DH), she should smoke more than normal. You know when advice that was given out is no longer good ...
@SpaceBurger what, it's not like you're going through some great physical trauma to your body that requires recovery time or anything. Take a shower after you deliver and get back to work, girl.
I am shocked at how many people asked if the pregnancy was planned! My partner and I aren't married so I'm bracing myself for that question...he and I both told family and close friends when we started trying to reduce that line of questioning, but I'm sure it is coming!
@lmallen80 same! We had told people we were trying but I have still received a few questions from people. We have been married for 6 years and over 30 now so it isn't like this is unexpected?🤔
My favorite is people asking if we are going to get married, we have been together for almost 8 years leave us alone. Also the already mentioned above, was it planned. I'm 34, trust me at 34 it is not going to be a whoops baby.
My aunt, who has major body image issues and has also only being pregnant once (doesn't get you show earlier with #2) - stares at my stomach and says "whoa - how far along are you?" knowing damn well how far along I am.
Also a surprisingly amount of people after hearing we're having a second girl: "are you guys going to try again for a boy?"
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@mrskoz428 I was guessing maybe people on the coasts DON'T ask (you said they asked you and I know you've mentioned being in the midwest). But @DuchessOfCambridge blew up that hypothesis. We got pregnant with DD only 5 months after getting married. No clue what makes people ask vs not.
@eatinwatermelonseeds Ugh. I think that's partly generational. My mom said that she was given formula because if you could afford it, you'd buy formula, so breastfeeding was deemed as something only people tight on money would use. I think that the lack of awareness around breastfeeding for people of a certain age (and perhaps in certain areas of the country or other demographics) stems from that. That doesn't excuse the comment by any means! I would be super offended/annoyed. I know MIL barely breastfed at all but she's never said a thing to me and I'm still BFing my 15 month old when I'm with her. My mom BFed all 3 of us but not nearly as long as is "recommended" now (3 months, 6 months, and 4 months).
@journey721 excuse me?!?!? Oh, screw that person! I’m really sick of people telling me they are bigger than me not pregnant. Like, I’m really big compared to my pre-pregnant self. I can’t even zip my pants anymore! Like, I’m growing, baby’s growing, please don’t tell me you’re bigger than me.
@journey721 that person is an idiot. You are not "too tiny" at 17 weeks. They actually had a nice compliment going until they questioned the health of your baby. Serious wtf! They don't even start measuring fundal height until 16 weeks and if you're a FTM, you don't start really showing to others until about 20 weeks. I'm a STM and starting to get a visible bump to other people now at 15 1/2 weeks but it totally depends on what I'm wearing (aka I can just look blobby if it's not maternity clothes). I have a work meeting with my bosses boss Wednesday and am going to try to hide it a little longer from work people so I won't be wearing maternity clothes.
My aunt told me at the end of my pregnancy that I needed to gain weight. I had a relatively "small" belly, but I had gained 40lbs and my butt was massive 😂 people need to stop thinking it's okay to address a woman's size just because she's pregnant. You wouldn't go up to someone and say "wow, that belly of yours has gotten really big" or "don't you think you're too skinny?" Why do people think it's okay to do just because there's a baby in there?
@mrskoz428 i was so stunned because i hardly know this person, too!
@kvh22 I’m not a FTM but carried tiny until week 31 with my son, then i caught up quickly. Lol. I just can’t even believe people comment on a woman’s size EITHER way, these days. Ruined my morning for sure.
It wasn't this pregnancy, but last pregnancy I was pretty much only growing straight out and not wide, and at 7 months MIL told me I was "definitely going to get wide now." I didn't get wide, but my belly did get rounder. It still pretty much just grew straight out, but thanks for the body positivity, MIL!
@eatinwatermelonseeds During my last pregnancy a stranger (an older lady) asked me to "turn around" and said "oh it's definitely a girl. You're carrying in your butt." WTF?! Who says things like that to a stranger??? Also, you have no idea what my butt looked like before, but it pretty much didn't change at all during pregnancy... Rude.
@poshspice That was probably my MIL. She did the same to me and said I was having a girl. When we learned DS was a boy, she didn’t believe us at all — I apparently have a huge butt!
@poshspice WOW! A stranger?? I don't know if that's better or worse than someone you know. I have heard the old wives' tale is that you carry more all over with girls (because of the hormones?? I think it's the same reason your supposed to have worse acne, etc.). MIL is totally of the generation that believes in this and said she thought I was having a girl because of the way I was carrying with DD while literally everyone else said it was a boy because I was ALL baby (we were team green). I said to DH "great to know that you're mom thinks I'm huge." She is very passive aggressive and I'm sure just wanted to take a dig if she could get away with it. Pretty tame in comparison to all of these, though, but to say it looks like you're carrying a girl is still subtly rude in my opinion.
@journey721@mrskoz428 I measured small my last pregnancy. At 34 weeks I was measuring 30 weeks, so I needed a growth scan to check for IUGR. That weekend, a stranger made a comment about how small I was and I almost burst into tears because i was SO stressed about it and worried about baby being okay. It turned out baby was fine, my uterus was just small. But, it goes to show that calling a pregnant woman tiny may not be the compliment you think it is. Don't comment on how big pregnant women are. Don't comment on how small they are. Just don't comment. Can you imagine going up to a non pregnant stranger and being like "you're huge and all your weight is in your butt" or "you're too thin, eat a cheeseburger, you're unhealthy". No, because that's CRAZY!
@DuchessOfCambridge well, I’ve gotten the non pregnant too skinny comments too. 🤷🏽♀️ The midwife was going to measure my bump at my 16 week appointment, but when I lay on my back, I literally have nothing. Flat as a pancake.
@mrskoz428 that's just so rude. The only time I liked a comment like that was right after my c-section when one of the nurses helping me was like "you don't even look like you gave birth!" That was very nice. Less nice was the other nurse helping me who said "well, just wait when you stand up, you'll have a pooch" like OK THANKS FOR THE TRUTH TALK
I have also gotten many comments saying I look too young to be pregnant/married/already have a baby. I got the same comments when pregnant with DS. I'm 28! I am not too young! I know I look 21 but there's zero reason to tell me I look too young for whatever. It also makes me feel like people don't take me seriously as an adult if they think I look young. That's not specifically pregnancy related, but it really bothers me when people act like I'm a child having a baby.
My favorite is people asking if we are going to get married, we have been together for almost 8 years leave us alone. Also the already mentioned above, was it planned. I'm 34, trust me at 34 it is not going to be a whoops baby.
I'm 37 and have a whoops baby, hiiiii ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Nobody has asked my unwed ass if it was planned lol
I get the question about baby's sex a lot. Because I have two girls, people so often ask if I'm hoping for a boy. I'm pretty good at letting it roll off - I figure it doesn't have to be a big deal if I don't make it such. A lot of people don't see those sorts of questions as inappropriate.
This will be boy #3 for us and the looks people give me are hilarious!!! 😂 I think it’s funny and laugh it off, but for some I can see how it would offend them.
I cannot imagine asking *anyone* if their pregnancy was planned or not. Because it's none of my business! I'm gay and did IVF so everyone knows mine was planned but if someone asked me that I think I'd say "No... we're looking for adoptive parents, actually. Are you interested?"
I don't get a lot of questions (because how/why I got pregnant is pretty obvious) but I'm bracing myself for the questions to come after my babies are born. I'm on a forum where someone posted "Twins Bingo" and one of the rude questions was "Do you have a favorite?" If anyone dares to ask me that I have a canned response: "Yes, this one (point to whoever is nearest). The other doesn't seem to be as bright or promising so we're really pouring more of our energy and resources into this one." And then "Are they twins?" Response: "No, triplets. Oh shit, where did the third one go??"
My mother said she knew because I’ve been a bitch lately 🙄 when in fact my bitchiness has nothing to do with pregnancy and more to do with her. It’s just easier to express when I’m pregnant lol
TW We just started to tell family on Thanksgiving, and MIL asked if we'd use the name of the baby we just lost. I mentioned this somewhere else too, but i'm still just so pissed about it.
@wishiwaspreggo my best friend has 3 kids and my husband has asked if she has a favorite 🙄 honestly I think it's a huge fear of his when we have more than one and he has no filter to really understand things that that's not an appropriate question to ask fellow parents lol. My friend takes it in stride. She's known him long enough to know he doesn't mean to be offensive. And she actually said yes, it just depends on the day and who is behaving best that day who her favorite will be lol.
@wishiwaspreggo When people asked if my brothers were twins, my dad used to say "No, they're my clones."
ETA: Another time, my daughters and I ran into a friend from preschool and her dad and little sister at the mall and the girls played on the indoor playground together and a random lady asked us if our babies were twins... one was like 9 months and one was like 3 months. It was awkward.
My best friend and I were once asked if we were twins. We were like "uh, no .. We're just friends" 😂 back when I had brown hair, and we both wore glasses, we really did look a lot alike. I think I got away with using her license a couple times.
One question I do detest is when people ask if my wife and I are sisters. I always say "No. We're married." That makes them feel satisfyingly awkward. I'm gonna start going around asking obviously straight couples if they're brother/sister. See how skeevy that makes them feel.
@wishiwaspreggo my friend's husband was 30 years older than her and people always just assumed they were father and daughter, and she thoroughly enjoyed kissing him and holding his hand and really freaking people out 😂
Re: Innappropriate Comments/Questions Thread
🙄🙄🙄
Also a surprisingly amount of people after hearing we're having a second girl: "are you guys going to try again for a boy?"
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@eatinwatermelonseeds Ugh. I think that's partly generational. My mom said that she was given formula because if you could afford it, you'd buy formula, so breastfeeding was deemed as something only people tight on money would use. I think that the lack of awareness around breastfeeding for people of a certain age (and perhaps in certain areas of the country or other demographics) stems from that. That doesn't excuse the comment by any means! I would be super offended/annoyed. I know MIL barely breastfed at all but she's never said a thing to me and I'm still BFing my 15 month old when I'm with her. My mom BFed all 3 of us but not nearly as long as is "recommended" now (3 months, 6 months, and 4 months).
🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻
@kvh22 I’m not a FTM but carried tiny until week 31 with my son, then i caught up quickly. Lol. I just can’t even believe people comment on a woman’s size EITHER way, these days. Ruined my morning for sure.
@eatinwatermelonseeds During my last pregnancy a stranger (an older lady) asked me to "turn around" and said "oh it's definitely a girl. You're carrying in your butt." WTF?! Who says things like that to a stranger??? Also, you have no idea what my butt looked like before, but it pretty much didn't change at all during pregnancy... Rude.
BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
BFP: 1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17
BFP: 9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19
BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
I have also gotten many comments saying I look too young to be pregnant/married/already have a baby. I got the same comments when pregnant with DS. I'm 28! I am not too young! I know I look 21 but there's zero reason to tell me I look too young for whatever. It also makes me feel like people don't take me seriously as an adult if they think I look young. That's not specifically pregnancy related, but it really bothers me when people act like I'm a child having a baby.
Nobody has asked my unwed ass if it was planned lol
TW We just started to tell family on Thanksgiving, and MIL asked if we'd use the name of the baby we just lost. I mentioned this somewhere else too, but i'm still just so pissed about it.
ETA: Another time, my daughters and I ran into a friend from preschool and her dad and little sister at the mall and the girls played on the indoor playground together and a random lady asked us if our babies were twins... one was like 9 months and one was like 3 months. It was awkward.
I'm gonna start going around asking obviously straight couples if they're brother/sister. See how skeevy that makes them feel.