@knarlytaurus we all survived! Thank goodness! Apparently dhs aunt and downstairs neighbor have not been getting along lately so she wasn’t too worried about the noise lol. We brought the tablet and battleship and managed to keep the boys fairly still. Hoping for a change of venue next year since we will be adding 2 more babies to the mix.
@imrachellea i totally understand your feelings. We have 2 boys and there is definitely a part of my that would like a girl this time around, even though I know I will be happy to be an all boy mom. I told dh I wanted to know the sex so we could have time to process any feelings long before baby comes. Baby was uncooperative st the last ultrasound though so we have another month at least to wait.
@mrskoz428 noooo!!!! Our pup was totally destructive too, luckily she did grow out of it but until she reached about 4ish years old she would randomly chew something she shouldn’t if she felt left out or hadn’t got enough exercise. DH has always taken her to work most days. He works out in the bush (well, prairie now) mostly on his own with plenty of space for her to just run free. If for some reason he couldn’t take her, like if there were crews on site that days, then she’d stay at home while I was at work too. Something would get chewed while I was gone even though she was normally really good. We had to be really diligent about giving her extra walks and love on those days. Since the kids were born though, she enjoys staying home with me and them. She has gnawed on a couple of the kids toys since then, but it was entirely not her fault. I would catch DD1 handing her toys directly into her mouth, like here, play with this.
@mcewen3 he’s been so made at us for leaving him behind on our Thanksgiving trips, but there would have been 5 dogs at my parents and my in-laws hate big dogs, so they are never welcome down there (which is why we don’t spend the night there anymore). Sticking close to home for Stuart’s sake today! Hopefully he won’t be too mad at us tomorrow.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I find that if I hit the “May 2019 Moms” next to the “Post Reply” button, my home page stays refreshed and up to date. That’s the only way things stay up to date for me.
Hello! We are back from vacation and I'm having feelings about it.
The way I've described "gender disappointment" is not that I'm sad I'm having x, but instead sad that I'm not having y. I wouldn't ever be *disappointed* by either, rather mourn the loss of what I won't have. I think that's how most people feel, no one is like "ugh! I hate this baby boy!" They mourn the loss of the experience they won't get to go through but the baby itself has been so loved in every case of "gender disappointment" I've seen. Which is also why I get so annoyed when people get mad at others for being disappointed. Like - we're all allowed to be sad about missing out on an experience!
@DuchessOfCambridge I agree with that mostly. However, I recently read a post on a different app where this girl was so horrible angry that she was having a girl. She said that for the rest of her life she will feel like her daughter owes her for not being a boy and she will always resent her.. Of course, that's not the common feeling surrounding "gender disappointment" but I was appalled by that post and I really hope it was a troll. She was responding back and seemed sincere so I don't know, but I feel so bad for that baby.
@eatinwatermelonseeds yeah I said most people because there are always outliers. That makes me really sad for that baby girl too, she has no control over it! I hope when she gets that baby in her arms, those negative feelings melt away. She is the kind of person who should be flamed for gender disappointment, IMO. That's just cruel.
@DuchessOfCambridge a lot of people recommended counseling, and suggested she may be depressed. It was so strange because she said she'd tried for that baby for 10 years. I suffered with infertility...I can't even begin to imagine feeling that strongly about it.
@eatinwatermelonseeds. Ugh. That’s horrible. I really hope it’s a troll because otherwise I feel so bad for that baby.
I was excited when I found out I was going to be a boy mom but also a little sad for the girl things I’d miss out on. We plan on being one and done so I’m sure if we were having a girl I’d feel similarly about missing out on experiencing being a boy mom. I feel like a little sadness over what you’re missing out on is normal.
On the otherhand, my mom is not just disappointed that we are having a boy, she’s basically mad at us over it and is refusing to get excited about what will be her only grandchild simply because he’s a boy. It’s starting to piss me off because she’s gone way past just “oh, I was really hoping you’d have a girl” and is insisting she doesn’t want any to do with her grandson because boys are “violent and horrible” and has just generally had nothing remotely nice to say about it.
@beccaneu oh my goodness. Hell no. Man. I would be SO PISSED if my mother ever pulled that shit. I would tell her she doesn't have to worry because as long as she's being a selfish brat, you won't let her have anything to do with him. Wow. I can't even imagine. My mom was really sweet. I told her I had a moment in the store and I was like "I'm so happy it's a boy" and she finished my sentence "but you kind of were hoping for a girl." And it was just so accurate. She didn't say "really" she said "kind of" and that's exactly how I felt. I'm completely over that now and I keep thinking of how sweet my boys are going to be together. But if my mom was acting like that I'd have to cut her off.
Ugh I keep reading that over. "Violent and horrible." I'm looking at my sweet boy in his Pokemon hat eating his mcflurry and thinking of those words. "Violent and horrible." I'm actually tearing up. I'm so sorry for you and for that sweet, sweet little boy. Honestly even if I was having a girl, I'd probably still be a little sad I wasn't having another boy. I am his whole world, and he is the sweetest, most empathetic, compassionate little thing, now I get double that sweet boy love. I'm just in shock that someone would say that.
@beccaneu Yikes. Hopefully your mom will take some time to work out her issues and be over it by the time the baby arrives. That's seriously messed up.
In a vaguely similar, but much different vein, my grandpa was initially upset (for racist reasons) when he found out my aunt was going to be having my (multi-racial) cousin, and he said horrible things about how my cousin would never be his grandchild and he would never accept her, etc. but he did eventually eat crow and get over his issues and love my cousin.
@beccaneu how awful. My baby boy is the sweetest little one year old, I know many girl babies his age who are MUCH more spirited. Gender does not define personality.
@brie_and_almonds I'm so glad your grandfather got over it. I feel for your cousin
@beccaneu I am so sorry your mother is being like that. That is awful. Honestly, I am a bit worried about my MIL because she really wants it to be a girl and I know she will be disappointed if it isn't.
I’m really hoping that once my mom has some time to get over her initial disappointment that she’ll realize how stupid she’s being and start getting excited to have a grandson. I’d hate to cut her out of our life because most of my family has passed away and I just don’t have much left but my husband is super pissed at her right now and doesn’t want her coming up when he’s born if she doesn’t stop being so petty and selfish, and honestly I agree with him. I’m not sure where she gets the idea that all little boys are somehow inherently bad because I can think of so many little boys I’ve known that are just so sweet and thoughtful.
@beccaneu I’m sorry your mom had such a terrible reaction to finding out you are having a boy! And I agree that if she can’t be nice she shouldn’t be allowed to be part of your life.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
I'm currently doing homework and it's dull so here I am procrastinating! We had sushi for dinner and it was unsatisfying because no fish for me (personal choice). I should stop suggesting we have sushi, avocado rolls really aren't cutting it Funny how they say no raw fish but they don't say no lettuce at all. Which is totally an argument for me to eat raw fish sushi but I won't because I'm chicken. I probably won't eat romaine until after baby is born either hahaha
@Stormiewinter I’m having a third boy. I actually didn’t want to find out what we were having bc I figured in the delivery room is so emotional and happy that I wouldn’t care one way or the other, whereas I might be sad about it while pregnant (there’s no baby to fawn over yet, just the idea of what one will be like). I caved because so many people were telling me they hoped it would be a girl and I didn’t want to hear that BS for 9 months. So I thought I’d get out in front of it by announcing it was a boy at the same time I was announcing the pregnancy. Turns out people still don’t mind telling me they wish it were a girl 🤷♀️
@DuchessOfCambridge IKR?! All these warnings about cold cuts and sushi and yet there have been two outbreaks this year involving romaine lettuce (that I’m aware of) and nothing about not eating lettuce. Granted I guess pretty much anything can get contaminated and they can’t very well tell you everything is off limits. I’m too much of a rule follower to go against the recommendations, but I can totally see why a lot of moms opt to ignore some of them.
@knarlytaurus we got them to agree to repair almost everything, but we got left with the $1400 mold remediation. In the grand scheme, compared to what she is paying to repair, that's not a big deal. So far, so good. We're set to close on 12/5 😬
@mrskoz428 our dogs destroyed so many baby things. We have so many books and toys with chew marks on them. DD1's bear lost his eye to them when she was only about 3 weeks old. The bear was dubbed One-Eyed Jack after that and is still her favourite. Be careful of diapers! DD2 is 2, has 100% adult poops and they STILL love to get into her diapers, especially poop ones. It's disgusting.
On the discussion of gender disappointment, the only time I judge strongly is when a couple desparately wants a boy and it's their first and you know that it stems from patriarchy and some super shitty ideas about male superiority.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
@k2k2tog Yea, FIL said he was hoping we had a son when we told them at 6 weeks with DD "so that the family name can be carried on." I generally like FIL and have a ton of issues with MIL but they are very "traditional." We weren't even talking about boy/girl, it was just basically the first thing out of his mouth. It's funny, though, because my mom knows we want 3 kids and I don't know that MIL & FIL knew we wanted to have ANY so he might have thought it was the *only* chance for a boy (BIL & SIL never had kids and no one has ever talked to them about why - which is fine, that can be super personal, but they just don't talk about so many things!!).
Re: Random 11/19
@imrachellea i totally understand your feelings. We have 2 boys and there is definitely a part of my that would like a girl this time around, even though I know I will be happy to be an all boy mom. I told dh I wanted to know the sex so we could have time to process any feelings long before baby comes. Baby was uncooperative st the last ultrasound though so we have another month at least to wait.
She has gnawed on a couple of the kids toys since then, but it was entirely not her fault. I would catch DD1 handing her toys directly into her mouth, like here, play with this.
ETA: including this one... directly after commenting this...
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
The way I've described "gender disappointment" is not that I'm sad I'm having x, but instead sad that I'm not having y. I wouldn't ever be *disappointed* by either, rather mourn the loss of what I won't have. I think that's how most people feel, no one is like "ugh! I hate this baby boy!" They mourn the loss of the experience they won't get to go through but the baby itself has been so loved in every case of "gender disappointment" I've seen. Which is also why I get so annoyed when people get mad at others for being disappointed. Like - we're all allowed to be sad about missing out on an experience!
I was excited when I found out I was going to be a boy mom but also a little sad for the girl things I’d miss out on. We plan on being one and done so I’m sure if we were having a girl I’d feel similarly about missing out on experiencing being a boy mom. I feel like a little sadness over what you’re missing out on is normal.
On the otherhand, my mom is not just disappointed that we are having a boy, she’s basically mad at us over it and is refusing to get excited about what will be her only grandchild simply because he’s a boy. It’s starting to piss me off because she’s gone way past just “oh, I was really hoping you’d have a girl” and is insisting she doesn’t want any to do with her grandson because boys are “violent and horrible” and has just generally had nothing remotely nice to say about it.
In a vaguely similar, but much different vein, my grandpa was initially upset (for racist reasons) when he found out my aunt was going to be having my (multi-racial) cousin, and he said horrible things about how my cousin would never be his grandchild and he would never accept her, etc. but he did eventually eat crow and get over his issues and love my cousin.
@brie_and_almonds I'm so glad your grandfather got over it. I feel for your cousin
On the discussion of gender disappointment, the only time I judge strongly is when a couple desparately wants a boy and it's their first and you know that it stems from patriarchy and some super shitty ideas about male superiority.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019