I am the lone wolf in the fertile octogenarian category.
Wait what?! You're actually in your 80's and are pregnant?
Haha it was a little law nerd joke. The “fertile octogenarian” is a legal fiction in property law that basically says no matter how old a person is they can still have children/heirs. So I’ve been jokingly calling myself that this pregnancy. ☺️
I’ll be 33 when baby comes and I’m the first one from my close childhood friends to have a baby. Plenty of other people from my childhood have had kids in the last 5 or so years, but it feels weird to be the first of my close friends this “late” in the game.
In my personal experience, 33 is still on the youngish side to be having kids, but I do think it depends where you live. The majority of my high school/college friends had their kids between 30-40. Living in the city of Chicago for 12 years, most of my friends either didn’t end up partnered up in time to have kids, or got married in their late 30s/early 40s and dealt with IF and either decided to be child free or are using donor eggs. We were just lucky (despite 2 MCs) to get married at 36 and be very fertile. I would have liked to start earlier, but life is what it is.
@minnemiska Are you in the legal field? I could be mistaken, but it seems like there are a lot of lawyers, law students, and people in law-related jobs on this board. I'm a (currently non-practicing) attorney myself. I appreciated your joke!
@sleepy33 Ha I had just read that article and listened to a presentation on how the birth gap in this country is falling at a fast rate and we actually desperately need immigrants and their higher birth rates to keep our economy afloat. And I totally get why the birth rate is falling among the higher educated more urban population, b/c it is expensive as fuck to have a kid. DH and I, as soon to be 40 year olds, have a joint income that SHOULD make us quite comfortable, but I have no idea how the hell we are going to pay the $45,000/ year that day care will cost us for a 2 year old and an infant. And they will only go 3 days a week. If we had the incomes we had at 30 or even 35, we would NOT be able to afford child care at all. This is why the birth rate is falling.
@chloe97 You are so right. We were a dual income family with two good, pretty high paying jobs when we had DS1 and DS2. With two kids in day care four days a week, I started looking at my paychecks a lot differently. I mean, yeah, I was still making some money after taxes, but at that point I said to myself, "If this is all I'm going to make, I'd better really love my job." I did not. Even quitting to be a SAHM was a choice I was lucky to have the ability to make. The cost of childcare in the US is insane. Maybe if the birth rate keeps tumbling we'll finally have some productive conversations about paid family leave and child care costs.
@chloe97 $45000/year?!? Holy sh%$! That's almost $4000 a month! Even when we lived in Toronto, daycare wasn't so expensive - more like $2000/month.
Though, now that I do the math, even around here, with an infant+toddler, we will be looking at approximately $3000 a month and we don't live in an expensive area anymore. We're also fortunate that our government subsidizes based on income, as long as your kid is in a licensed daycare, which are few and far between in some areas. (Though, Ontario's premier is Trump Lite, so we'll see how long that lasts...)
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
@k2k2tog It is utterly ridiculous. We did the math and if we had had twins and actually needed full time day care- it would have been $75k. And I know people who pay it!
We only looked at NAEYC accredited day cares, so maybe there are cheaper options near us since we do live in the expensive suburbs of Chicago. I have such a hard time skimping on early education bc it’s so crucial long term and DD is doing soooo well. But believe me, we are counting the days until she starts kindergarten since DHs schedule is flexible enough she won’t need before/after school care.
Re: POLL FOR SCIENCE: HOW OLD ARE YOU?
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/08/04/upshot/up-birth-age-gap.html?mc=aud_dev&ad-keywords=auddevgate&subid1=TAFI&fbclid=IwAR1GlZVVqZH0PsTqIFfhqYAGiOPdAPJHOO0fZpEHfbOoNgQTB48So45CZXs&dclid=CLWSoM_z4N4CFe3I4wcdl5wHPw
BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
BFP: 1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17
BFP: 9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19
BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
Though, now that I do the math, even around here, with an infant+toddler, we will be looking at approximately $3000 a month and we don't live in an expensive area anymore. We're also fortunate that our government subsidizes based on income, as long as your kid is in a licensed daycare, which are few and far between in some areas. (Though, Ontario's premier is Trump Lite, so we'll see how long that lasts...)
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
We only looked at NAEYC accredited day cares, so maybe there are cheaper options near us since we do live in the expensive suburbs of Chicago. I have such a hard time skimping on early education bc it’s so crucial long term and DD is doing soooo well. But believe me, we are counting the days until she starts kindergarten since DHs schedule is flexible enough she won’t need before/after school care.