@PugMum I'm so sorry about your bad feelings. You're not alone there. It really sucks. I hope you start to feel better soon. And I hope you don't have walking pneumonia!
@pugmum: I'm right there with you. We had a long road to having our DD, with multiple years of no good answers or resolutions. I'm SO frustrated, because everyone was like "oh, you know after you have one, sometimes you are suddenly just so fertile! giggle" And I stupidly held onto that thinking that maybe we would even just accidentally have a second! But no, it looks like my stupid long cycles are back, and that it will again be a long road. Sigh.
@lcking82 it doesn't help that EVERYONE (or so it seems) gets pregnant with their second on their very first cycle. I had stupidly hoped that would happen to me.
@riff323: We're in the age group where lots of our friends have completed their families, and lots of folks are getting vasectomies. Which is just crazy to me, but our friends (and us) are all >35y, and everyone else has 2-3 kids already. All our friends were joking about going into together and then hanging out with their frozen peas to watch football, and my husband and I were just like, "uh, we're still trying, so...."
@lcking82 oh man, that's rough! It's hard not to compare yourself and feel resentful about it when everyone else is all done. Just know you're in good company here with us.
@PugMum@icking82@riff323 I'm sorry you all are feeling so frustrated! Its so hard to watch everyone around you be pregnant. I work with babies so I feel like I can't ever get away from TTCing right now.
Posted and then disappeared for a day! My DD fell Wednesday night and had to get stitches on her cheek (face-planted into the corner of our entertainment center). I'm so amazed at how well she's doing, but poor thing looks so rough! A big black eye with a line of stitches running across! *parent fail*
Y'all its 5 am I just need to vent- my son is 15 months and doesn't sleep through the night. I've been up with him for 4 hours now. This isn't an uncommon occurrence we've tried everything except for cryinhbit out because we are both super against it. But tonight I was legit so tired and trusting couldn't take it anymore so I tried it. He screamed for over an hour and a half I tried to go in a calm him down every 15 minutes like the doctor suggested and just kept getting louder and more dramatic. I felt like the worst mom possible... or least I thought I did. Let just say I felt even worse after the police showed up because my neighbors called them thinking we were hurting him. (We live in a condo/duplex right now.) seriously I've never felt so shitty in my life. I don't know what else to do I've gotten maybe 3-5 hours of sleep a night since before he was born (I had pregnancy insomnia too). Anyone have suggestions?
@daisy0322 omg, I can't believe your neighbors called the police! I don't really have suggestions, because we did "Ferberizing" (aka crying it out with timed check-ins) and it sucked, but it worked after the third night. The first night was torture. I think she cried for five or six hours! It was a total mind-f$*@. I had tried so many other things before Ferberizing and I went into it thinking it might be the only thing that would work, but only if I really stuck to it. I was desperate and out of options. Lack of sleep had changed me into a person I didn't recognize, and made my anxiety and depression unbearable.
Anyway! My SIL once told me that my niece didn't sleep until she was 2. I know that stinks to hear... but if you're against Ferberizing/CIO, maybe just give it time. Just like adults, some kids don't sleep well. I hope you feel better. You're not the worst mom possible. Being the worst mom possible would mean you didn't care at all about your DS. I hope you get some relief soon, and be kind to yourself today!
@riff323 thanks, yeah that for SURE didn't work for us last night and I mean the police didn't really stay long after they saw DS and things but still. I've even tried letting him sleep with us and he wants none if it. He just never sleeps. He never acts tired or cranky either, he is always in a great mood. I'm the only one falling down tired lol
@daisy0322 The CIO/Ferberizing method takes a couple days as @riff323 said. I know it’s hard, but it legitimately works. Sleep is something that we need to teach (go figure). We did it at 9mo and he’s been great since then.
I’m sorry your neighbors suck. Can you speak to them about the situation? Are they generally understanding people? And if not, can you move up your moving date for your house? lol. Hugs!!
@daisy0322 I feel you so hard right now. My DD didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 months old. We kept trying CIO and it never really worked. I feel like the Pediatrician didn't believe me - they kept suggesting the same things as if I was just doing it wrong. That's how other parents made me feel too- like I must be doing something wrong because it worked so well for them. CIO did help for us, but it wasn't a silver bullet like it is for most.
I think every kid is different, @riff323 is right. It will happen eventually, even if you don't like CIO. But, you have to consider your own sanity too. I personally felt that sleep Deprivation was making me a worse mother!
@jennifer_louise and @lillywonderland yes the sleep deprivation is getting to me I've just done so much research that makes me heisitant about CIO.Also it worries me he just kept picking up speed and crying harder. It's hard because I feel like it goes against everything I believe but also I'm out of options. We did try it one other time when I was super desperate and my husband was out of town for 3 weeks. I tried it for 7 nights at 7 months old. And at that time it seemed to make things worse and every night he cried for longer until the last night he 6 hours without stopping and I couldn't take it any more. For the next few days he cried every time he even saw his bedroom...I legit cried for a month after that happened I felt so horrible.
@daisy0322 I can't remember where I read this but someone wrote that there are four basic temperaments your child fits into. DD is Adaptable which made her an ideal candidate for CIO, but obviously not all kids fit that mold. Try Googling it and see what you can find, because just like potty training and discipline and everything else, different methods work for different kids. Hugs to you!
@riff323 I'll have to look at that... he is just so dang sensitive to life in general lol he also gets super upset even if people on tv are yelling. The plus side is that he is the best toddler listener and he is so freaking sweet. But I feel like everything I do is traumatic for him lol.
@daisy0322 yeah, I definitely feel like CIO doesn't work for very sensitive little ones! Have you done the method where you gradually move farther and farther from the crib, eventually getting into the hallway and out of the room?
@riff323 we've tried that one a few times. It has the same results. I'm actually thinking potentially moving him to a toddler bed and just starting a whole new routine and maybe that we "reset" things. He is a good listener if I told him not to get out of bed he wouldn't. He will do what you tell him even when he is crying pretty hard. First I'm going to try pushing back bedtime and no tv or sugar after dinner. I want to make sure the issue isn't central brain stimulation. I see that a lot at work (I work at a children's sleep lab and we specialize in complex airways).
@daisy0322: I also have a not-good sleeper...we did switch to a toddler bed really early (about 15 months actually) and DH or I would lay next to her until she fell asleep. Still do it most nights, and sometimes she just sleeps with us. It works, it’s not ideal for everyone, and it does sometimes make TFAS hard, but....DD seems happy and pretty okay otherwise.
@daisy0322 My DS was (and still is) my finicky sleeper. He never STTN until I fully weaned him. We stopped night feedings by 12 months and he still was up during the night. When I fully cut him off at 15 months he magically slept.
@Mother0fDragons I did notice improvements once I cut back on nursing maybe a full stop will help even more that's a good point.
@Icking82 I truly would mind that set up! I've tried and ds won't sleep in our bed but I think laying down with him to fall asleep might work in his own bed.
My husband pretty much said no to sleep training anymore and thatvif Im too tired to go on he will start getting up with him primarily. So technically my problem is solved lol
@daisy0322 - Like @MotherofDragons DD didn't SSTN until around 12.5 months when we weaned from 5 feedings to 1. I honestly think it might just be a brain development stage. I do like the idea of the toddler bed, I think it's a fit for your son's personality! My DD doesn't listen very well, I can't imagine her stay inside her bed.
Re: TFAS w/o 11/12
Married 11/21/2018
Me: 33 / DH: 33
TTC #1 since 2012, finally successful in 2016
BFP 11/29/2013 - EDD 8/9/2014 - MMC 12/31/2013 8 weeks 2 days - Tried to MC naturally for 4 weeks, D&C 2/2/2014
IUI 01/25/2016 - BFP 2/5/2016 - Natural Home Delivery to our DD 10/8/2016
IUD removed 10/3/2018
Ready to TTC for #2
I'm sorry you all are feeling so frustrated! Its so hard to watch everyone around you be pregnant. I work with babies so I feel like I can't ever get away from TTCing right now.
Anyway! My SIL once told me that my niece didn't sleep until she was 2. I know that stinks to hear... but if you're against Ferberizing/CIO, maybe just give it time. Just like adults, some kids don't sleep well. I hope you feel better. You're not the worst mom possible. Being the worst mom possible would mean you didn't care at all about your DS. I hope you get some relief soon, and be kind to yourself today!
I’m sorry your neighbors suck. Can you speak to them about the situation? Are they generally understanding people? And if not, can you move up your moving date for your house? lol. Hugs!!
I think every kid is different, @riff323 is right. It will happen eventually, even if you don't like CIO. But, you have to consider your own sanity too. I personally felt that sleep Deprivation was making me a worse mother!
Also—-your neighbors suck.
@Icking82 I truly would mind that set up! I've tried and ds won't sleep in our bed but I think laying down with him to fall asleep might work in his own bed.
My husband pretty much said no to sleep training anymore and thatvif Im too tired to go on he will start getting up with him primarily. So technically my problem is solved lol
https://alphamom.com/parenting/baby/cio-sleep-training-alternative-tension-increasers/