April 2019 Moms

Randoms w/o 11/12

135

Re: Randoms w/o 11/12

  • @mermaidca, yep, I waited six months for DH to do something about our homeowners insurance that needed to be changed, then finally gave up and did it myself.  Good luck at the anatomy scan, hope baby cooperates for you!

    I just got in a fight with DH because A: DS is being a brat and I'm in a terrible mood because of it, and B: DH tried to take my chocolate away from me.  Like, dude, yeah, I know I'm stress eating, but don't touch my damn chocolate.
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  • @snowhite12 it was amazing! There’s something about a hot sandwich on a cold day. So good 😍

    @mermaidca your DH sounds like me with household/financial stuff. I really need to get better. I’m such a procrastinator. 
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  • @lilpotatomama @mermaidca I'm also the terrible one with household stuff in my marriage. And I don't cook, and I work a ton. I think I'm basically a 1950s husband? 
  • good luck with the apartment @ysotte and good luck with the anatomy scan @mermaidca!

    @professormama DH and I go down the middle. I do all bookkeeping and financial and like, 90% of the housework but I'm a garbage cook. All his food is amazing and he's good at folding socks and probably better at momming than I am, ha.
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  • @MRDCle I also don't do financial stuff... so to sum up, I don't do household stuff, financial stuff, or cooking... I'm basically useless? lol. I'd say the portion of the 'mental load' that I take is generally related to kid-stuff, like remembering to do well-check ups, making sure he has weather appropriate clothes, keeping track of school events, etc. But if I'm being honest, I think my husband takes more of the "invisible / mental load" for our house. Sometimes when I see those memes about how husbands need to be more attentive and take on more of the mental load, I feel a little guilty, because probably I should be doing that. 

    The one thing I think we do do really well is that I actually think we split the actual household/cleaning  work pretty well since we do all of it on basically just one day a week (usually a Saturday or a Sunday). So basically we both just work on the house all day, whatever needs to be done. So ultimately at least the cleaning does get split pretty evenly. 
  • @professormama +1 to being a 1950's husband lol. There is a strong possibility DH will be a stay at home dad with this LO and I'll be the breadwinner, and I'm perfectly fine with it! It's funny though because I will still have to do the cooking if I don't want to eat lemon pepper chicken and canned veggies every night :D DH is a "survivor cook" as he likes to call it.

    Me: 32 / DH: 33
    DD born: 3/31/19

     




  • @sheknows6 my husband always comments how much he'd love to be a stay at home dad. He was just saying last week how if he were a stay at home dad he would make homemade biscuits every day for breakfast, and fancy dinners and stuff. Unfortunately, I really don't make enough to support that. But really I think he imagines that he'd just cook elaborate food, watch sports, and go hunting all the time if he were a stay at home parent. I don't think he really knows the reality of what SAH parents have to do. lol. 
  • @professormama that was our discussion last night lol:

    DH: yea, it'd be awesome, she can chill on my chest all day while I play games and stuff.

    Me: that's a really pretty delusion you've dreamed up :D

    #men


    Me: 32 / DH: 33
    DD born: 3/31/19

     




  • It’s so dang cold! 33* with a windchill of 25* in Kentucky. I’m absolutely dreading what “winter” is actually going to bring! 
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  • MRDCle said:
    @sheknows6 and @professormama when DH told his boss that we were having twins, his boss immediately said "Oh so your wife is going to quit her job and stay home?" DH laughed and told him no, if anyone did, it would be him. I currently out earn him, have more room for advancement, and carry better benefits. Plus, I think he would enjoy it more, though I'm sure our house would be constantly a wreck.
    One of my best friends is the income earner while her husband stays home. He's an awesome SAH dad, but that's exactly her constant complaint - he does not actually clean the house, basically ever. Although, in my husband's favor, that SAHD does go fishing a LOT, so maybe my husband isn't totally wrong in thinking he'd get to do more hunting than he does right now? 
  • @MRDCle @sheknows6 @professormama My husband also dreamed of being a stay at home dad and we seriously talked about it given that I am way more career driven than him with higher long-term income potential. He loves kids and  just envisioned entire days of hanging out playing video games with our kids and writing code with them. Sigh. When I explained that he would also be responsible for doing chores and getting food on the table he was less enthused but still down.

    Unfortunately we need both incomes for now and my employer tops up my mat leave benefits to 95% of my salary while he gets nothing but EI, so is he is stuck at work.
  • @sheknows6, at least in the newborn phase, that might be possible!  DH worked two 12-16 hour shifts when DS was born, so it was almost like being a stay at home dad.  He spent a lot of those early days playing video games and watching anime while DS napped on his chest :tongue:.

    I wish one of us could work less/be at home, but for both our financial sakes and my sanity, DH works full time and I work part time.
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  • lilpotatomamalilpotatomama member
    edited November 2018
    I guess I’m yet another 1950’s husband here! 🤷🏻‍♀️ DH and I both work and fully plan on staying that way, but if either of us were to be a stay at home parent... he’d be better at it. I’m not great at cleaning and I don’t even touch the laundry. I do most of the cooking, though I’m sure he’d be happy to cook! 

    Also: Texas has been unseasonably cold this November, and I’m much bigger than I thought I’d be at this point... so new clothes were a must. Got 4 super cute maternity long-sleeve shirts at Ross for $20 today. Score! 
  • That's the part I don't think DH understands; I am fine to come home and do the cooking still, but if he wants to be the SAHD he has to clean, run the errands, and take care of the baby. He thinks it's just taking care of the baby.

    While we'd end up losing some $, it'd still be worth it considering once I'm hired on I'll have way better benefits, I already outearn him, and more growth potential. Same situation basically. I told him we'd revisit the idea once I'm hired and no longer contracting.


    Me: 32 / DH: 33
    DD born: 3/31/19

     




  • We both work full time too. But DH stayed home with DD on Tuesday and before I even left, I emptied the dishwasher, cleaned up the kitchen and moved around the laundry. All because I knew he wouldn't get anything done. And bless his heart, he did great with her but nothing was done (except dinner). He wouldn't be a good SAHD. I'd be a great SAHM, I love budgeting, finding deals, cooking, etc. I just need adult time too much to do it. And you know, money.
  • With DD, DH was a SAHD till she was 6 mo old, he's not so great at the cooking and cleaning part but thankfully when she was born we lived with my parents and he didn't need to do nearly as much of either. He did spend time playing video games and watching tv when she was napping, which he stills does when she naps/sleeps now. We absolutely cannot afford for one of us to stay at home right now, although we have both gotten about 6 weeks off this year while paid due to wacky circumstances and it's been really nice to have that time with DD. I'm not sure i would want to do it full time, but i would love it if i could work part time, maybe someday.
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I wish DH and I could both work part time, but that’s not gonna happen- he’s so excited to be a dad, and does a good amount of work around the house. I get home earlier so I do a bit more of the daily stuff, but it’s fair. I make about 2/3rds of what he does- we both have potential for advancement, but his is generally a higher track whereas mine is very reliable. I get *extremely good* health insurance, though, so between that and my income in a high COL area it would be really hard financially to not work. To be honest, I think either of us would go a little crazy if we didn’t have our jobs at least part time.
  • lilpotatomamalilpotatomama member
    edited November 2018
    Talking about height in HDBD has me curious. How tall are y’all? I am... short, haha. 
    For some perspective, here’s me and DH! 
    ETA: I’m around 5’. I’ve been measured as both 4’11” and 5’, so who knows! I would love another inch or two of height, if that were even possible  
  • @lilpotatomama I'm just under 5'5 - DH is about 6ft
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  • lilpotatomamalilpotatomama member
    edited November 2018
    @MRDCle gosh, I’d love to be 5’5”. I can’t imagine actually being able to reach stuff! 
  • I'm 5'9" and DH is 6'3"

    Me: 32 / DH: 33
    DD born: 3/31/19

     




  • @lilpotatomama I’m 5’6” and DH is 6’1”. DH has a crazy wing span, 6’7”, so he can reach everything (I jokingly tell him that’s why I married him lol) It’s funny because I’m the tallest cousin on my moms side but on my dads side I’m on the shorter side. (In reference I have 32first cousins....thank you big catholic families lol)
  • I’m 5’ 2”. Fiancé is 6’. 
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  • @blueberrymomma I’m not the tallest cousin on my side, but I’m not the shortest either. I come from a generally short family. DH and his family are all tall! 
  • I'm 5'4, DH is like 5'6 ish. We are short people.
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @blueberrymomma I think that's about how many first cousins I have as well (just on my dad's side). I don't know about height, but I'm the oldest of my generation on both sides. I'm 5'8" and DH is 5'6." It's super cute. Luckily he's muscular and outweighs me.....when I'm not pregnant :smile:
  • I'm 5'5"ash and DH is 5'10" - he gets so mad that he never made it to 6'. Men.
  • 5’8” and DH is 6’3”
    holy crap @blueberrymomma I have 0 cousins (both parents are only children) I can’t even imagine!
  • professormamaprofessormama member
    edited November 2018
    I was in an awful mood today, and I'm still a little under the weather. I tried to grade, but I felt like I was being mean because I was so grumpy. So I abandoned doing work all together in favor of watching parks and rec and making chex mix. I feel only slightly guilty. 


  • lilpotatomama- I am 4'11!  

    Also adding to the SAHD talk DH would make a horrible SAHD just because he would get board. I also have no interest in doing it full time to a toddler. The only reason I really work is vacations, retirement and daycare. I am hoping I can stay home a year or 2 when then kids are older and there is no daycare cost but they still go to school (and DH makes more money) 
    Me: 32 DH: 31
    TTC #2 since January 2018
    Baby #1 DD  Born 8/25/2016
    BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18

     

  • tmblickleytmblickley member
    edited November 2018
    DH is a SAHD but I think he hates it.  Until DD was about 1, he stayed at home most days because she was napping or required a warm bottle. Now that she's older, they go to parks and run errands, but he still does the yard, laundry, household maintenance, and some cleaning.  And he says DD demands his attention so that takes up a lot of his time too.
  • At work i'm in a cubicle kind of off to the side where the management office are along with one other cubicle. Everybody around me is gone. My manager is only in the office till 2:30 these day, the CEO is away on business for a couple days, the head of IT went to part time WFH and the guy in the other cubicle is on vacation till Monday.

    It's just me and i don't want to work. It doesn't help that i have the worlds most boring/annoying spreadsheet to work on.
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @lilpotatomama, I'm 5'6" and DH is around 6'1".  I had two roommates in college who were barely 4'11" and it made me feel like an awkward giant, haha.

    @professormama, totally feel you, I've excused myself from teaching just long enough to grab snacks lately cause I can feel myself getting hangry.

    @thatbaintforbetty, I love spreadsheets!  But then again, I don't do it for a living so I'm probably biased :tongue:.
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  • Omg guys. I’ve been whining that I’m sick and grumpy and my husband is out of town. But today really took the cake. It’s a saga: My car started flashing the check engine light! I took it to autozone and had them run the code. Apparently it’s the catalytic converter. I called the dealership. I’m covered under warrenty for the next 30 miles, then I hit 200,000 miles and I’m not covered anymore. So my car apt is Friday. So obvs I cant drive so much as a mile between now and then. But I’m booked solid for tomorrow with teaching and meetings. Luckily my sister loaned me her car and I just had to switch the carseat and gave her a ride back to college. But holy shit what is up with this week? I know I got incredibly lucky that I’m still barely under warrenty AND my sister could loan me her car. But damn! 
  • @professormama it’s like everything has to happen at once! How frustrating. Hopefully everything settles down soon, and that your car is a quick fix! 

    @kangstadt all of y’all are making me feel soooo short! Haha. It’ll be even worse once the baby is here, gets older and starts growing. I’ll be the shortest in the family! 

    @kosmo86 shorties unite!! 
  • @professormama well shit!  Hopefully all of your bad luck is out of the way now.  Thank goodness for sisters!
    Me: 31
    H: 36
    L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
    BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
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  • Yikes @professormama ! Hopefully you used up your bad luck quota for a while. 

    @kangstadt I do a lot of spreadsheet work. Like probably 75% of my work is with spreadsheets. I don’t usually mind them but this one is compiling all the vendors our company has ever had and that’s like 9000+, and for some reason we can’t just straight pull the data out of our system cause I need info we don’t technically log. So I have to go one by one and try to find it or something as close as possible. It’s a nightmare. Thankfully I didn’t get put on the project till it was about 70% done. 
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @lilpotatomama I’m 5’6”. A couple of my close friends are 4’11” and 5’. My bestie makes me grab things off top shelves for her like i’m super tall. 😆

    @professormama oh nooo. Catalytic converter is expensive. Definitely be glad that is covered by the warranty. That happened with my old car and i’m pretty sure I paid more than the car was actually worth to get it fixed 😵
  • I feel like I missed so much this week. I've had a terrible terrible cold and honestly with that on top of work being the busiest week I've ever had there wasn't much time to hop online. Following up on at least some of the conversation, my DH would love to be a SAHD and if I made slightly more he probably would be. I definitely make more and have more opportunities for growth. Plus he would be better at it anyway, he has so much more patience than I do.

    @lilpotatomama I'm short as well. I'm only 5'1 so my poor children will all be cursed with the short gene. DH is about 5'8 so at least there is an average there.

    @professormama that sounds exhausting dealing with the car issue. Glad that it's able to be covered under warranty, thank goodness for family helping out.

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