PGAL Week of 11/11

ruby696 · November 2018

This thread is a safe place for those who are pregnant after a loss. (PGAL). If you have suffered a loss please feel free to answer the questions below and keep things going throughout the week as a continuing conversation.

If you haven’t suffered a loss, please refrain from answering the questions, but know we welcome anyone who wants to come in and support the PGAL ladies and their milestones with encouragement or love tits! Thank you!

1. How many weeks are you?

2. Previous loss(es)?

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve?

ruby696 · November 2018

I started this thread selfishly...

1. How many weeks are you? 7+3

2. Previous loss(es)? 2 CP's and 2 MMC's - one at 6+2 and one at 8+0.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally, I have pretty high anxiety. The closer I get to my first US, the worse it gets. It doesn't help that my symptoms come and go.

4. Any appointment updates? First US tomorrow. I'm dreading it.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rant: I hate MMC's. There are very few signs anything is wrong and those signs are also not exclusive to MMC's. Such a mind-fuck. And since I've already had two, I have no faith in my body right now.

6. Any milestones coming up? I *think* I passed one milestone and I'll hit the other on Friday.

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? Tardiness. Being on time is easy and I'm usually early. I've just never understood how it could be difficult for some people and I have very little tolerance for it.

eleven_ · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 10w 1d

2. Previous loss(es)? 2 CPs 1 MMC

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? My emotions are just a roller coaster right now. I go between feeling happy to feeling sad and defeated multiple times a day. I just don’t fully believe I’ll make it out of the first trimester yet. Physically, I am really exhausted. Lots of acid reflex and insomnia.

4. Any appointment updates? Next appt. is 11/27. I think I may go get the NIPT done today (eek!).

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I’m tired of living in this constant state of anxiety. I just need the first trimester to end.

6. Any milestones coming up? No

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? Driving too slow in the fast lane (just thinking about it makes my blood boil).

@ruby696 I love that you started this today. I wish this thread started always started on a Monday! FX SO HARD for you tomorrow. The anxiety that comes the day before the first US is unreal. I’m so sorry you are dealing with it today. I will be thinking of you until you update.

ruby696 · November 2018

@eleven_ I didn't even pay attention to the day it was normally started. I hope I didn't step on any toes! I'm really trying to distract myself today and not be too hopeful. I hate that I'm not excited, but I just want to live in denial and stay pregnant. Avoiding an US seems like the best way to do that.

Also, slow driving in the fast lane also drives me crazy. Maybe I just expect too much from people? 😂

eleven_ · November 2018

@ruby696 We are the same then with expecting too much from people because tardiness also drives me completely crazy. If I can be on time with two kids, you better be too

TJtheGoat · November 2018

@ruby696 Yes the first ultrasound was so scary for me too. Actually, the second as well. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. And I agree about being late; it’s disrespectful to everyone else’s time.

1. How many weeks are you? 10+6

2. Previous loss(es)? 1 CP

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Last week was really tough. MS and migraines combined to leave me crying and puking on the side of the freeway. Plus the losses of our friends made it emotionally hard. I’m hoping that this week is easier.

4. Any appointment updates? I have to decide in the next day or so if I want to do the NIPT or the NT screenings.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Not much now.

6. Any milestones coming up? Nope.

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? Nail biting/chewing. It absolutely disgusts me.

nmbrcrnchr1 · November 2018

@ruby696 as I was deemed an (un)official #admin I’m good with you starting this thread today 🤣
I understand why people like to stagger threads but I get confused when weekly threads don’t start at the beginning of the week! I’ll come back with my update later but will be thinking about you tomorrow ❤️

sparklingdiamond · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 9+1

2. Previous loss(es)? CP, M/C, Still birth at 32 weeks

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Super tired. Emotionally I'm all over the place. I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time and I hate it.

4. Any appointment updates? I have my last u/s with the RE on wed.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I have had three good u/s but still can't relax.

6. Any milestones coming up? My next one is the NT scan. So about three more weeks to get past that.

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? People who don't use turn signals. How freaking hard is it to not cut me off and just use the damn turn signal??

@ruby696 I will be thinking of you for sure!!

TJtheGoat · November 2018

Oops, posted too early. @eleven_ NIPT today is exciting! Are you planning to find out the sex as well?

kjr9519 · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 8+1

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC at 8+4

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Saturday night, as I was about to be 8 weeks, I had some major anxiety and couldn’t sleep because of it. The anxiety this week for me is on another level. I’m also feeling nauseous still.

4. Any appointment updates? First OB appointment on Wednesday. I’ll be 8+3 then, so the anxiety is mounting for that, too.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? None really.

6. Any milestones coming up? Getting close to where my first pregnancy ended.

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? Teeth grinding. I can’t stand the sound.

eleven_ · November 2018

@TJtheGoat No, we are team green

I'm worried the doctor will accidentally spoil it for me.

TJtheGoat · November 2018

@eleven_ hopefully your doc is able to keep it a secret from you. We are still debating on whether we want to find out. So many decisions!

ruby696 · November 2018

@eleven_ I really want to be team green since this will be our last baby. I'm just not sure if I have the willpower.

eleven_ · November 2018

@TJtheGoat @ruby696 I think you guys should be team green with me. I need someone to tell me not to cave when I'm feeling weak lol. And @ruby696 don't you have one of each like me? It definitely makes it a little easier to stay team green for me.

ruby696 · November 2018

@eleven_ Yeah, we do. That's part of the reason I want to wait. Being team green stresses my husband out a little bit, but I think we'll be glad we did it in the end.

dntstpbelieveing · November 2018

@eleven_ I am team green also! We were team green last time as well. I talked to the Dr while I was in labor and said that I didn't want her to tell me the sex that I wanted my husband to tell me. I wanted it to be a moment for him and I not us and a random Dr. Well DH and I both forgot and about 5 mins after birth my Dr was like ok you two are killing me are we going to announce this or what!?! I was just so excited to have him out and seemingly healthy (he was a preemie) that I totally forgot!

meatballs37 · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 9+2

2. Previous loss(es)? 22 week stillborn, 29 weeks passed in NICU, and 6 weeks blighted ovum

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I am feeling ok. I don't think anyone of us is ever going to put "I FEEL GREAT!" in this section. It is either, meh ok. Or...my anxiety is back and my head is spinning with all the what if's. I don't have any MS today and that is really messing with my mind. A part of me wants to run my HcG...but I am refraining.

4. Any appointment updates? my 8 week US last week went well. Next appointment isn't until December 5th! The wait is going to kill me, especially since I doubt I will be able to pick up baby on my own doppler before 12 weeks (stupid tilted uterus).

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I am tired, but feeling a bit hopeful that baby was measuring ahead last week.

6. Any milestones coming up? I think the next milestone will be getting to my next appointment. Maybe NIPT testing if it isn't an insane cost to cover.

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? People who order 800 meals while going through the drive through.

mamamaggie524 · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 11+3

2. Previous loss(es)? MC at 6+1 in Dec 17

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I am just a wreck. The anxiety is making it almost impossible for me to sleep. Physically I’m doing better. MS and nausea have tapered off. Just a little back pain and the occasional headache.

4. Any appointment updates? First US on Wed. I am so paranoid that I am going to go in and discover the worst.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rant- I wish my OB had ordered an earlier US to help ease my mind a little. Rave- DH is being amazing. Back and foot rubs, taking care of DD, cooking dinner. Question- STMs, when are you telling your child(ren) about your pregnancy? I’m scared I’ll tell DD and then lose the baby and have to explain what happened.

6. Any milestones coming up? Almost past the first trimester mark!!

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? People who make a mess when they eat. It makes cafeteria duty with 280 Kinder and 1st graders a real killer.

mackorori · November 2018

I actually liked the Monday start too, thanks @ruby696. All the best for a good US tomorrow

1. How many weeks are you? 10+5

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC 7/16 & 8/17

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically - exhausted today after our weekend trip. Emotionally - We saw a little babe waving at us this morning’s US so tryin to ride that wave and not think about waiting for Panorama test results and having to see a specialist (more below).

4. Any appointment updates? I had my first OB visit today after being at the RE. It seemed to go well but then she said the space at the back of the baby’s neck was a little thick, which can be a marker for chromosomal issues, so they recommend a maternal fetal specialist to do a more detailed US and see if cvs/amino make sense. Trying to focus on the waving baby and not think about the “what if’s” given my older eggs...

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rave - DH picking up the fur babies from boarding so I can go to sleep early. He’s so sweet.

6. Any milestones coming up? Getting through this genetic testing and an anatomy scan would be nice.

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? When there is a room full of treadmills and someone gets on the one right next to you.

meatballs37 · November 2018

@eleven_
I have thought about being team green a lot. But I think I want to know to better prepare myself for NICU time. Male babies born early tend to statistically spend more time there. I think if we knew it was a girl, I might be able to relax more knowing they will be delivered at 36 weeks. But another part of me would love the surprise....oh the decisions! DH doesn't want to be team green.

@ruby696
I will be thinking of you tomorrow!

@TJtheGoat
I am still in a funk after our two PGAL losses last week. I can't get it out of me head.

@sparklingdiamond
will be thinking of you on wednesday. I bet it will feel like a nice small accomplishment to graduate from the RE this week.

@kjr9519 Will be thinking of you also on wednesday as you sail past your major milestone.

mamamaggie524 · November 2018

@ruby696 I hope your US goes well! Every time I read about someone else’s successful appt it gives me hope.

ETA: I can’t read dates apparently.

ruby696 · November 2018

@mackorori Sorry for the added stress, but love that baby was waiving at you. Fx you have great Panorama results.

@meatballs37 and @TJtheGoat Last week's losses were such a blow to this board. I haven't moved passed them either.

nmbrcrnchr1 · November 2018

@eleven_ we were team green with DD, I loved the surprise. But my DH did not want to be team green so I told him too bad and if we have a 2nd you can pick. Well I asked him the other day if we were finding out, his response “if I get to choose, hell yea!” Haha but we’ve talked about not telling anyone else and just keeping it as a secret between us (well and you ladies will know 😂). It was so crazy how so many people, even strangers, thought we were nuts not finding out the sex.
@mamamaggie524 DD is 2 1/2 and we will tell her after our NT ultrasound at the end of this month. I don’t know if she’ll fully understand but we will be telling everyone at that point so she’ll pick up on the conversations if we don’t tell her.

1. How many weeks are you? 10w4d

2. Previous loss(es)? Ectopic Feb2018

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally...ok, but I’m still 2 weeks away from my next appointment so that’s when I’ll get nervous again. Physically - ugh, worthless. I’m so exhausted, nausea is better but will randomly hit me out of nowhere. Also I keep getting dizzy/light headed. I’m assuming this is normal but should I call my dr?

4. Any appointment updates? Nov 26th for NT scan, materniT 21 blood test

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? It’s only Monday 😩

6. Any milestones coming up? Nope

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? Well I also don’t like late people or slow left lane drivers, but mine is people who cut their fingernails at work...just don’t!

carleym93 · November 2018

Those of you with dopplers, which brand do you have?

carleym93 · November 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 10w3d

2. Previous loss(es)? CP, elective abortion

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically more or less the same. The nausea hit me hard this week but otherwise good. Emotionally I’m really nervous. As the first trimester is coming to a close, I’m realizing I won’t feel any better until I can feel consistent movement.

4. Any appointment updates? My next appointment is Wednesday and I’m really nervous.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I accidentally posted my doppler question by itself 😬

6. Any milestones coming up? Not yet

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? When people use the word “retarded.” I can’t deal. Probably the Special Ed teacher in me.

antera23 · November 2018

I’m so glad you started this @ruby696. I think we needed it. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and anxiously waiting for an update!

@eleven_ I agree. The first trimester is too stressful and scary for us. You’re almost out!!

@TJtheGoat I’m so sorry about the loss of your friends. I wish your migraines would ease up. It’s not fair to have both MS and migraines.

@sparklingdiamond I relate so much to feeling like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. *hugs*

@kjr9519 we’ve been through very similar stories. I’m thinking of you and hoping your appointment goes well this week. It seems like a lot of us have big appointments this week.

@meatballs37 I agree. I think we all are feeling the emotional stress. I’m proud of you for not running your HCG! Im so glad the baby is measuring ahead

@mamamaggie524 hi! Your DH sounds like he is doing a great job taking care of you. I bet that helps so much.

@mackorori how cool that you got to see the baby waving!! Yay for a good ultrasound!

@nmbrcrnchr1 if it makes you feel better I’ve been getting dizzy here and there too.

@carleym93 I hate when people use that word too! Words have such an impact on people.

1.. How many weeks are you? 8+1

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC discovered at 9+4 by their numbers and 11+4 by my numbers. The baby measured two weeks behind at our first ultrasound but later I figured out that would have been impossible.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?
I could eat breakfast and lunch today!!! Dinner? Not so much. I’m trying to figure something out right now. I always have this gross taste in my mouth which I hate. I’m tired all the time. I’ve started waking up at 5 to pee. The extra phlegm makes me puke.

I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. Yesterday I was anxious and panicked. Today I am calm. My MS changes so much that it really messed with my head. I relate so much to what you said, @ruby696. MMCs play a game with your mind. It steals your innocence and puts you on edge because you never have the real reassurance that everything is ok.

4. Any appointment updates?
My first official ultrasound is on Friday. We had one at the ER when I panicked. I will be 8 weeks and 5 days which is a day longer then when the other baby stopped developing.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?
I just want it to be Friday already.
My SO has the stomach flu and I really don’t want to get it. We’ve already had it once. I think that’s enough!
I have a new client starting soon and it’s a really challenging/rewarding case. I’m excited to start!

6. Any milestones coming up?
Yup! So technically I only have one milestone but in my brain it’s two. We went into our 8 week ultrasound and they said I was measuring 6 weeks. Then when we discovered the baby had stopped developing they said it never developed past 6 weeks 4 days. So for me getting past 6 weeks 4 days and 8 weeks 4 days feels like a milestone. It’s super confusing to explain.

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve?
I have a lot, lol. Right now i guess it would be people who don’t know how to have a conversation. For example when you tell them something and they don’t acknowledge what you said and just go right to another comment they’re making.

bakerstreetboys · November 2018

@ruby696 thinking about you today!

@mackorori We had the same thing happen with DS. His nuchal fold was thicker than "normal", so of course I as a wreck. Having the NIPT results helped, but we still saw a fetal cardiologist, and everything turned out fine. I hope you get answers soon.

@carleym93 I have the Sonoline B and it worked really well last time.

1. How many weeks are you? 7w5d

2. Previous loss(es)? 2 CP and a MMC in the last year

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically I'm up and down, which isn't helping me emotionally. I feel so much better about the pregnancy when I feel like crap physically! I'm worried that the symptoms are lessening, and then stressing that it's too early for them to be easing up. Only in pregnancy do we wish to feel shitty. Like many of you, I can't stop thinking about the ladies that we lost last week.

4. Any appointment updates? U/S with RE on Thursday. First appointment with my OB isn't until the 28th, so I'm going to ask for one more u/s with RE next week before they release me.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Winter is here and I'm just so not ready for it!

6. Any milestones coming up? Not really until the second trimester.

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve? So many of mine are already listed here! I'll add knuckle cracking to the list.

dntstpbelieveing · November 2018

I have an apt/US this afternoon and I am freaking out! I really think I am going to ask them to wait to take my BP until after the US. They were really upset at my last apt because it was high but they took it right when I got there and I was super nervous. I just really need it to be 530 already.

ruby696 · November 2018

@dntstpbelieveing My appointment is at 10:30 and I'm dreading it. Hopefully we both get good news. And I hope your BP is where it should be.

jessica4141 · November 2018

@ruby696 good luck today!

@antera23 I am having the exact same problem with dinner. I'm otherwise basically like a Hoover for all the food, but around like 6 p.m. my appetite tanks and I get nauseous again. Last night I had dry cheerios for dinner.

1.. How many weeks are you? 11+2

2. Previous loss(es)? Ectopic and CP earlier this year

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?
Physically, besides my dinner problem, I'm doing a lot better with the nausea. I'm still pretty fatigued but now also having very vivid and kind of disturbing dreams, often about pregnancy or the baby, so I don't wake up feeling well-rested at all. Emotionally, I'm in the same place as many of you. The losses last week hit me hard and that sense of unease and anxiety is lingering. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.

4. Any appointment updates?
NT scan and blood test on 11/27.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?
Rave (I think): I think I might be getting the start of a bump? At night, when I lay flat, there is a small hard lump right above my pubic bone. I don't have it all the time so I'm not sure, but my husband said he felt it too so at least I know I'm not imagining things. Otherwise I'm still just bloat city. Rant: I casually invited my MIL to the NT, thinking there was no way she would fly across the country for a scan. I was wrong.

6. Any milestones coming up?
My loss milestones are behind me, but the NT test feels like a pregnancy milestone so I'll go with that

7. GTKY: What is your pet peeve?
I have a lot, but I think I'll go with people who don't pick up their dog's poop. Living in NYC, it's shocking how many people think its okay to just leave it on the sidewalk.

eleven_ · November 2018

@ruby696 Thinking of you FX so hard.

eleven_ · November 2018

@dntstpbelieveing I love your team green story! I actually LOL’d while reading it. I also love the idea to have your DH be the one to tell you the sex! Totally stealing it. Thinking of you today for your US. LET US KNOW RIGHT AFTER! You and @ruby696 both.

@meatballs37 I have a tilted uterus too I was considering buying a Doppler. Where you ever able to hear the HB?

@mackorori I’m so sorry that you have another thing to worry about after your US. So sweet about LO waving to you I hope so much that everything is okay.

@nmbrcrncr1 People are soooo crazy when it comes to being team green. I really don’t understand why it’s so upsetting to people that I am not finding out the sex of MY BABY lol. I have had so much backlash from friends and family. And I would probably at least call your doc about you feeling dizzy. I think it would give you peace of mind and he may want to do some bloodwork or check your BP.

@antera23 UGH with the gross taste in my mouth too! I hate it so much. I can’t get rid of it unless I’m chewing gum at all times. FX for you on Friday.

@bakerstreetboys The lessening of symptoms has been the hardest thing to deal with for me the last couple of weeks. Hang in there, friend. FX for Thursday

@sparklingdiamond @carleym93 I’ll be thinking of you two tomorrow for you appointments

@jessica4141 I have been having very disturbing dreams too and I often feel like I have barely slept after a full nights sleep. I'm sorry you are experiencing this too

ruby696 · November 2018

Well, my appt didn't go how I'd hoped. Personally, I couldn't see anything, although my doctor thought she saw something that measured about 6+2, which is a week behind. Definitely no HB. I go back in a week to see if maybe things are just hard to see because of my tilted uterus, but I'm not holding my breath.

bakerstreetboys · November 2018

Oh @ruby696 I'm so sorry that things didn't go as planned. I'm so hoping that it's just because of your tilted uterus and that things are ok in a week. Hugs to you.

ruby696 · November 2018

@bakerstreetboys I'm kind of in disbelief that it could happen again. Maybe we're just not meant to be a family of five. I feel so lucky to have my two amazing kids to go home to. Having to go back to work is pretty terrible.

sparklingdiamond · November 2018

@ruby696 I am so sorry the appt didn't go as you hoped. How sure of your ovulation date are you?

eleven_ · November 2018

@ruby696 Oh friend, I'm so so sorry. Are you positive on your O date? I hope so much that LO is just a little behind. I'm so sorry you have to go back to work

I know this will be such a long week for you and I hope you know we are all here if you need to talk. You can always PM me too

sparklingdiamond · November 2018

So my OB had said that she is referring me out to the MFM for genetic testing. They do the NIPT test at the OB office. I go in next week and am considering just asking her to go ahead and do the blood test. I won't get in to the MFM until 12 or 13 weeks and could have the NIPT results by then. They won't give me complete piece of mind since our issue wasn't picked up on NIPT. But I think having one piece of good info would be nice.

ruby696 · November 2018

@sparklingdiamond Well I assume Ava was close to correct. And I'm definitely not a week off. Plus, even at 6+2, there should have been a HB. I'll stick around until its confirmed, but I'll be pretty surprised if I get good news next week.

bakerstreetboys · November 2018

@ruby696 It's not fair that it could happen again, and I would be in disbelief too. You've had more than your share of loss, and I really, really hope that this isn't the case again.

Dcwtada · November 2018

@ruby696 I am so so sorry. I’ll hold my breath for you. Crossing everything it was just a bad luck with this ultrasound. Thinking of you ❤️

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