November STM Check-in

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt · November 2018

How old are your other kids?

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?

Any questions/concerns/comments?

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt · November 2018

How old are your other kids?
DD is 2.5yo

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
This stems out of going to the zoo today with DD. She is NOT a good listener right now. She will run ahead/away from me and not stop when I call to her. It is super frustrating! DH suggests a leash and we might have to do that when DS is born.

Any questions/concerns/comments?
If anyone has any advice for solving my problem above, let me know!

ladystout08 · November 2018

He's 5. We struggle a bit now that he's in school full time, he just gets too tired I think but won't sleep!

He's super excited for his sister to get here. He asked me the other day if she could come out that day. Bless him.

tosh24 · November 2018

DD is 12 and DS turns 7 in a couple of weeks.

DS is the best behaved child ever. Like, in all existence. He's always been super chill and compliant and has never given us any problems. Tell him it's bedtime while he's in the middle of his favourite show? No problem. He just says "OK", jumps off the couch and walks himself upstairs to bed. The universe must have sent him to me to make up for Satan's spawn that it sent me the first time around. DD is a spitfire. I love it yet want to cry at the same time. There is no taming that girl. She's a good kid in that she does well in school, rarely gets in trouble outside of the house, and is responsible, but she's fiery, tempermental, and the rudeness is starting to become a problem. The 7th grade girl drama is really testing my parenting skills.

Both kids are super excited for baby and they will make awesome big siblings. I think baby will be pretty lucky!

tosh24 · November 2018

@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt I don't know that I have much advice but I remember how frustrating that stage was! I just tried to be really consistent with the natural consequences. Run/hide under the clothes racks at the mall? If I have to tell you more than once or twice, we leave (and I did no matter how much of an inconvenience it was). Don't come when called/stop touching stuff you can't touch? After the first warning you get strapped in the stroller no matter how much you're screaming. I always told the kids to let me know when they were ready to follow the rules and I would give them another chance. That way, the ball was in their court and if they misbehaved again and had to be strapped into the stroller or something again, they only had themselves to blame. I found they were a lot less angry at receiving the consequence when they knew they hadn't made good choices. Once they used up their chance, I would let them know that *I* would now decide when they were ready to continue on with whatever we were doing.

If you've never heard of Barbara Coloroso, pick up a copy of her book "Kids Are Worth It!". Lots of great parenting advice in there. I learned the above technique from her book. Works like a charm

kmos816 · November 2018

How old are your other kids?
DD is 4.5

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
Normally DD is a great listener and helper; but this weekend she did not listen well and was overly emotional about everything and called me a mean mommy and a booty several times. I'm so tired I have limited patience right now; and not sure that is playing into that. This morning, however, after not listening at breakfast she told me she was going to get ready all by herself and listen all day.... we'll see how she does after day care pickup :-)

Any questions/concerns/comments?
@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt I remember that stage, and clearly the listening issues haven't gone away for me! I think tosh24 gave some good advice; in that not listening has its consequences. I think the biggest thing is that the consequence should be a direct result of the 'violation' and putting them in charge of their behavior, so to speak. Check out Positive Parenting Solutions on FaceBook- I attended a free webinar when DD was about that age which I found very helpful.

I'm starting to get concerned about how DD will actually act once baby is born; she is very excited now but not sure how she'll feel when the time comes. We are pretty good about making sure she can play independently, and she's been in daycare her entire life (practically) so she's not used to us giving her attention 100% of the time, but I'm wondering if there is anything else we need to be doing to prepare her- besides just talking about it.

Jackiemxoxo · November 2018

DD1 will be 6 next month and DD2 is 2.5

We are still working on transitioning to one room before baby brother comes. I haven't made the leap yet but I am thinking the holiday breaks will be a good time to do that. It is tough because DD2 always gets into DD1 stuff and doesn't clean it up and then its a mad house. Also, DD2 turns on the lights at night now and it was a mess. I tried tape, I tried a guard, and she figured it all out. Finally DH unscrewed the bulb. We are going to buy a fan for that room so we can pull the cord and then she will be out of luck.

@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt, This age is super hard. We are going through it too with DD2. It gets better at 4 and awesome at 5. We did a butterfly backpack leash when we took a cruise over the summer. It helped but not really. She just got super pissed it was on sometimes and would wear it othertimes. They are really testing limits at this age so just stick to your guns. If we are at home and she doesnt listen, then she gets time out in the guest room because im not holding her in a corner. This has seemed to work and just bringing up timeout gets her to listen. I hope it gets better for you!

saltedcaramel518 · November 2018

How old are your other kids?
2.5

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
We’re tackling potty training this weekend.. I’m sure that will be a challenge. 😬

@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt DS has recently started the running as well. He does it more with me than DH, and I think that’s because he knows I currently can’t run after him in any sort of speedy manner and grab his arm/pick him up. I agree that it’s really frustrating!

Any questions/concerns/comments?
DS is getting his 2 year molars, and he has been a GRUMP. He’ll been fine for a while, then randomly start crying/whining about all the things. He’s been waking up and crying about breakfast every morning, no matter what he’s served or even if he chooses what to eat.

I am throwing up my praise hands that he didn’t wake up stupid early after the time change.

CoastieGirl79 · November 2018

Age: DS is 3 years old.

Current challenge: his favorite word is "no" at the moment. We are also working on listening. We have to repeat ourselves, to the point of me losing my cool, to get him to respond. It takes me getting down to eye level with him and asking him to turn on his listening ears. It's maddening! With DS, the terrible twos didn't exist; the threenager stage is testing our patience!

Additional comments: I'm convinced the time change was drummed up by someone who did not have children.

molosmiles · November 2018

@tosh24 oh girl, I feel you! My DD1 is 10 and has been a spitfire since the moment she was born. DD2 is a complete angel baby, she's 2. She tries to be testy but you just repeat yourself and she listens. It's crazy how much each kid is different.

@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt I bought a little backpack with a leash for a Disneyland trip with DD1. I felt super weird about using it and mostly let it drag and grabbed it if needed. But I ended up just attaching the leash to the stroller and making her hold on to that, if she didn't hold it, into the stroller she went. It's really so tough when they don't listen.

jandd2014 · November 2018

How old are your other kids?
DD will be 2 in a few weeks

She's so big and not going to be my baby much longer.

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
DD's been great lately. She's had a language explosion this past week and is talking all the time, more and more in full sentences and longer phrases. All the way home from daycare, she just kept saying "cows eat grass!" It's pretty amazing to watch.
Potty training in my current frustration, though I'm trying not to push her too much. This afternoon she finally told me she had to go potty all on her own!!!! She had already gone a little bit in her pull-up but stopped and came to tell me and finished going on the toilet. Win!

Any questions/concerns/comments?
I keep trying to picture life with two kids. Sometimes I think we'll be fine and other times I panic a little bit. It's nice to have both sets of grandparents within 10 minutes if needed!

LeahNicole · November 2018

Dd1 is 22 months, or going to be 2 in January.

We struggle at meal time right now, I struggle at meal time right now. She will eat a little and then throw things on the floor. One day she loves something and I next it's getting tossed. I feel like we need to be super strict about when we offer milk (which she only gets two cups of day, and the rest is water), and very careful when we offer any "snacks". It's maddening to make dinner then have to pick said dinner up off the floor.

She is also hitting and kicking alot lately. My H and I try to say things like "no kicking/ hitting, it hurts, it's not nice behavior , we don't kick/hit you". I think it's just a stage, but I'm ready to not have this as an issue anymore.

I have started thinking about the logistics of 2 kids at home, like baptize. I have no one to blame but myself, dd has a terrible nap routine when I'm home, we nap together, usually on couch or in my bed if I need to try to get a good nap for night shift. I'm anxious to tackle that .

sweetyjenj · November 2018

How old are your other kids? 21 months (almost 2!)

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
DD is super awesome in many ways...one of them is that she learns pretty quick and wants to do things herself. But that same trait drives me NUTS sometimes! Suddenly she fights me zipping up her sweatshirts because she wants to do it, but has 0 zipper skills. She wants to cut her own nails, but obviously can't. She insists on sitting in regular chairs at the dining table, but then can't sit flat on her butt AND eat her food well. If I tell her not to touch something, she'll lightly touch it. I tell her not to touch it again, and she looks at me and touches it. So I tell her I will remove it or her if she can't stop (I know she doesn't yet understand that last part, but eventually she will) and then when I do take something away or move her away, she freaks out.

This weekend she was constantly asking to watch youtube videos on our phones, but we only showed that to her once in a moment of desperation. We don't even watch much tv at home! Whyyyyyyyy Now I don't know if we need to do a full cleanse and not let her watch anything for a week or two, or be a little more lax and let her watch more.

Any questions/concerns/comments? Was the transition to 2 easier than 1? I was already frustrated with DD this weekend and she was the only one to take care of. DH could step in and play with her or keep her occupied if I needed to rest or get things done. I'm afraid that while sleep deprived it'll just be so much harder. But I also feel like, I actually know what to expect this time around, whereas with DD our lives were completely turned upside down going from no kids. I can't see how our lives will change THAT much adding a second child.

sfgiantsgamerbabe · November 2018

How old are your other kids?
DS is 3.5

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
Still potty training. I tell myself he’s getting better.

Yesterday, DH told DS to pick up his toys and DS ignores him. I give the same command but in my “mom voice” and DS complies. DH looked at me and asked “why does he listen to you and not me?” I told him it’s because DS sees him as the “fun parent.” DS knows I mean business when I ask him to do something. He doesn’t comply 100% of the time but I get him to comply most of the time.

Any questions/concerns/comments?
Why is potty training so hard? Is crapping and peeing in your pants just that more convenient? Lord help me...

kmvisioli · November 2018

DS1 is 3.5, DS2&3 turned 2 in September.

Current challenges: They’ve all gotten to an age where they are able to communicate well and are capable of doing so much themselves, which is nice. The twins have also finally gotten old enough that all three boys are able to have some really sweet playtime together or make up fun little games, etc, which is awesome. But of course that’s like 50/50 split with them seeming to attempt killing either themselves or each other 🙄 DS2 especially is in a super testy phase right now where he climbs everything, gets into everything, and moves the furniture to access even more mischief (not even kidding, he pulled our couch across thick carpet several inches off the wall!? And has already figured out how to open the fridge!). Add to that my current restrictions due to placenta previa, and I just can’t figure out how to really address the issue since my enforcement capabilities are basically nil. I wish I could send them outside more to burn off their energy, but it’s still hot and humid here and the mosquitoes are terrible.

Questions/concerns/comments: my husband has been traveling a ton for work lately (as in a full 9 weeks gone in the past 4 months), and I’m pretty much at my breaking point. I think we’re going to attempt potty training with DS2 over Thanksgiving week, and I’m really not sure how it will work with his twin who is not showing readiness signs yet, so that will be an adventure.

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt · November 2018

Thank you for all the advice!

ChasingTheDog · November 2018

DD is 6.

Current challenge: pretty mild but a touch of The Dramatic and also it’s not a behavior thing really so much as a normal developmental thing that drives me nuts but: the talking. So. Much. Talking.

She’s really excited about the baby and is making a mental check list if the things she’s able to help with. She’s got a really independent/DIY spirit which was a horrible PITA when she was a tot but really has paid off. She gets gersl d ready for school and I recently taught her to scramble her own eggs... you’ve never seen a prouder child

Mandamay1414 · November 2018

How old are your other kids?

DD is 2

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
The clinginess and separation anxiety. DD has been going to daycare practically her entire life and still throws a fit every time I drop her off. Lately, she has even started crying if I go out in the evening and she stays home with DH! I thought separation anxiety was suppose to get better by this age. Something else that's driving me nuts is the whining. Maybe it's because I'm constantly uncomfortable and cranky from being pregnant, but my patience for 2yo whining is non-existent.

Any questions/concerns/comments?

Win for the week: we converted DD's crib to a toddler bed last week and she's doing amazing in it. I don't know if she doesn't realize that she could technically get out whenever she wants, but she always stays in bed once we put her there. Even in the middle of the night or morning she will call out and wait for us to come into her room before getting out of bed. I hope it stays like this!

tosh24 · November 2018

@ChasingTheDog The talking. OH MY GOD, THE TALKING. DS turns 7 soon and for the last year or so, has basically not taken a breath. I feel bad because I love that he wants to share things with me and that he actually *wants* to talk to me, but man, I need a break sometimes. I really try to be sensitive about it and not make him feel like I don't want to listen, so I'll make up excuses about needing to concentrate on something so I need quiet but ask if we can we continue talking when I'm done. He's always like "OK, sure, mommy" which then makes me feel worse but, Lord, I need some quiet time or I'll go insane.

kmos816 · November 2018

@ChasingTheDog my 4.5 year old daughter has a very independent/do it myself personality which can be frustrating at times as it tests my patience, good to hear at 6 it comes in handy :-)

ChasingTheDog · November 2018

tosh24 said:

@ChasingTheDog The talking. OH MY GOD, THE TALKING. DS turns 7 soon and for the last year or so, has basically not taken a breath. I feel bad because I love that he wants to share things with me and that he actually *wants* to talk to me, but man, I need a break sometimes. I really try to be sensitive about it and not make him feel like I don't want to listen, so I'll make up excuses about needing to concentrate on something so I need quiet but ask if we can we continue talking when I'm done. He's always like "OK, sure, mommy" which then makes me feel worse but, Lord, I need some quiet time or I'll go insane.

I had hoped boys talked less but multiple reports confirm that that is not case

@kmos816 it’s hard but I do try to give her as much freedom to do things on her own and it’s really just started to pay off this year

pttomato · November 2018

How old are your other kids?
2

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?

The biggest thing is that she is thrilled to have me with her again, but doesn’t understand that I still can’t get up and do stuff with her so she is frustrated by that.

She’s also been asking to nurse which is weird because she’s been weaned for a while and hasn’t asked in months.

On top of typical strong-willed 2 year old boundary-testing and her arguing and negotiating with everything, she has started a “why?” phase. And we are only 2 months into 2, I can’t even imagine what 3 will be like.

Hearing PPs stories about having mellow second kids after difficult first kids gives me hope for the baby at least.

MrsDho11 · November 2018

How old are your other kids?
DD is almost 2! She’ll be 2 before Thanksgiving!

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
I’m just struggling to keep up with her and her needs. She’s extremely high energy, and I’m feeling more and more drained by the day, so we aren’t getting out for her to run around as much right now.

Any questions/concerns/comments?
This morning she was sitting on my lap and baby brother kicked her. She turned, gave me the stink eye, and then got up and left.

kmvisioli · November 2018

@MrsDho11 that story about the kick is so funny! I didn’t think my boys would be into it, but they giggle hysterically when they feel the kicks, and it makes my heart just about burst 💙

kmos816 · November 2018

@pttomato the why’s are still going strong at 4.5! We know ask ‘why do you think?’ Which at least saves us from having to think and helps her think about it instead!

BitterBetty12 · November 2018

How old are your other kids? DD1 is 16.5 months

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
I don’t have the energy to keep up with #toddler these days. She’s in leap 10, cutting her upper canines, has a cold, and is not sleeping well. DH also works alll the time and this weekend I have time off so I’m solo parenting for basically 5 full days. There isn’t enough caffeine in the world.

Any questions/concerns/comments?
Despite DD1 being full on toddler she also kills me with cuteness and she really isnwo much fun. I got her to buy into the idea that she has a ‘sister in my tummy’ (she has no idea what it means. Pretty sure she just thinks it’s a weird game

) Now she will say ‘where sister?’ ‘Tummy?’ And ask fo give her kisses.

VallieS86 · November 2018

Dd just turned 3 a month ago. Current challenges... pretty sure she understands there's a baby coming so she's kind of clingy. She wants me to pick her up all the time and cuddle with me, which is fine but holding a 32lb child is a struggle with my belly in the way, and some of the time we cuddle she's squishing my belly which makes me more uncomfortable.

emmaaa · November 2018

How old are your other kids? DD is two.

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now? I'm struggling with being patient. DD is a very independent child most of the time and that is great but also frustrating when she wants to do EVERYTHING herself even when she can't. SO when I have to do it for her, it turns into a fight. And I know she's being a typical toddler but she hates hearing "no" and also says "no" to everything which turns into a meltdown.

People keeping asking if she's excited about getting a baby brother and I always respond, "I don't think she quite grasps the concept of an actual baby coming home because she hates when I hold or talk to any other baby or child. She will just have to get over it!" Which obviously she will, but I hope she doesn't feel like I'm abandoning her or ignoring her because I will be so involved with the new baby. She has already become so much of a daddy's girl lately and while I know DH is eating it up, I kind of miss when she preferred me. Even though I know it will be helpful once the baby is here.

Any questions/concerns/comments? We still haven't cleaned out the baby's room. That's on our list for this weekend. Also, we are hoping to potty train DD in a couple of weeks. Or at least try again. She is constantly saying "Lilah potty" any time we go and a lot of the times will tell us pee pee or poop right before or as she is doing it. I don't want to force it but I also don't want to wait to long.

MrsDho11 · November 2018

kmvisioli said:

@MrsDho11 that story about the kick is so funny! I didn’t think my boys would be into it, but they giggle hysterically when they feel the kicks, and it makes my heart just about burst 💙

Oh she for sure didn’t understand. I got a good laugh out of it though!

pttomato · November 2018

kmos816 said:

@pttomato the why’s are still going strong at 4.5! We know ask ‘why do you think?’ Which at least saves us from having to think and helps her think about it instead!

I’ve started doing this. Half the time she responds with “No Mama. Why do YOU think?” So it’s still a work in progress, lol.

oaklandava · November 2018

How old are your other kids? 4.5 year old DS1

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now? We moved into a new house, and he regressed majorly in terms of sleeping in his own bed. SO we are trying to get him back into it considering we have about 8 weeks until our new boy will be joining us. I don't want in to be too close to baby coming so that he associates it with baby kicking him out of our room.

Any questions/concerns/comments? honestly, this baby is so low due to some issues/damage from my first labor and csection already that my tailbone feels like it could break off daily. I am so ready for it all to be done, but at the same time, terrified and trying to enjoy having DS1 to myself for a while.

jgil85 · November 2018

How old are your other kids? 18 months

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now? He's 18 months, lol! His favorite word is no so everytime I ask him a question, it's always met with a no. He's becoming a really picky eater and some days I wonder how he can survive on air because he refuses to eat.

Any questions/concerns/comments? When did you potty train your kiddo? We have a friend who has a little girl and all our friend does is tell us is his little girl was pt at 17 months, and we need to potty train ds NOW. I kinda just don't want to even think about it until this baby comes but I will inevitably have to pt ds.

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt · November 2018

@jgil85 we trained DD shortly after she turned 2. We used the “oh crap” book method. In the book they outline signs of readiness. If I were you I would wait. It takes a lot of energy and time which you may not feel like expending right now. He may also regress when your new baby comes since he is so young. You have lots of time, I wouldn’t stress about adding it to your plate now unless you really feel he’s ready.

pttomato · November 2018

@jgil85 We potty-trained DD at around 20 months. She showed all the signs of readiness and could tell me when she needed to go at least some of the time, but it was still hard and took a while, particularly because she Was both young and did not like being reminded to go. I’m don’t think I would do it that early again unless my child was really really into it.

kmos816 · November 2018

@jgil85 we potty trained DD at 22 months and also used the Oh Crap potty training book. She was already using the potty at daycare and was ready and willing to be trained. I would rush your DS unless he’s ready, if I recall the Oh Crap book suggests doing it before 3, and from what I hear boys aren’t typically ready until they are closer to 3.

jandd2014 · November 2018

@jgil85 We've been trying to follow DD's lead with potty training. She started waking up dry in the mornings around 15 months, so we started putting her on the toilet first thing and she would go in the toilet. After she started doing that, we started encouraging her to use the toilet in baby steps- got her training undies around 18 months, but really started pushing it at 21 months. Physically, she was ready then (she could stay dry for long periods and go in the toilet if I took her often), but cognitively or verbally (or whatever the right term is), she wasn't. She is just now- at 23.5 months- starting to tell me when she needs to go or after she has gone. So she's not quite trained yet, but has made really good progress and I'm trying not to stress about it. I figure she might regress anyways after the new baby is here, so I'm just letting her go at her pace.
I wouldn't worry too much about your friend's kid already being trained. Each kid is so different!

libertymomrn · November 2018

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt said:

How old are your other kids?
DD is 2.5yo

What is your current challenge(s) parenting your kid(s) right now?
This stems out of going to the zoo today with DD. She is NOT a good listener right now. She will run ahead/away from me and not stop when I call to her. It is super frustrating! DH suggests a leash and we might have to do that when DS is born.

Any questions/concerns/comments?
If anyone has any advice for solving my problem above, let me know!

The leash thing was a great solution for our DS! One of my SILs thought that a kid leash was terrible and was “treating your kid like a dog,” but I really don’t think that’s true at all. We are typically very attachment parenting parents. We never did CIO, our oldest son BF until he was 28 months old, we’ve always tried to do gentle parenting. When we took him to the zoo when he was 2, I figured my options were to force him to stay in the stroller, (which he would hate,) hang on to his arm as he tried to run all over, (risking that he may try to yank away from me and dislocate something or hurt himself,) let him run free and try to keep up, (hoping he didn’t go climb into some dangerous animal enclosure, because seriously if any kids d would do that, my son would be the one) or use a kid leash. The kids leash gave him the most freedom while still keeping him safe. It was definitely the right answer for us at that time. We actually haven’t ever used it with our other 2. They haven’t needed that same type of parenting. Every kid is different.

libertymomrn · November 2018

How old are your other kids? 10, 7, and 3.

What are your current challenges parenting you’re kids right now? I’ve been trying really hard to get them to clean up after themselves, and to do so without me nagging them a million times, and without them whining and complaining about it. My 10 year old said to me today, "Sometimes I feel like you don't care about me at all; you just use me for chores!" This was because he had been asked to clean his room and put his clean laundry away. I feel like saying, “I’m so sorry that Dad and I provide you with a bedroom and nice clothes and then expect you to actually take care of them.” 🙄
I just really need them to learn to step up before the baby comes. I cannot clean up after myself all the messes made by all my children and take adequate care of a newborn. And I will not live in a gross house because they won’t clean up. I told them that if I have to clean their rooms, I’ll just throw away most the stuff in their rooms because of they can’t clean it up, then they obviously have too much stuff.

Any questions/concerns/comments?
I’m just torn between freaking out that slightly over 2 months is not enough time to be ready for the baby, and thinking that slightly over 2 months is way too long to keep being pregnant and uncomfortable.

snackheart · November 2018

Can’t sleep so I’m catching up here instead.

@sweetyjenj your DD sounds a lot like mine! She wants to do everything herself and for the most part is very capable, but it becomes a real problem when she can’t quite get something but won’t accept help. Re: the transition from 1 kid to 2, for me it was definitely easier than going from 0 to 1. You are just so much better prepared for everything. For me, even the sleep deprivation wasn’t so bad and we got her on a schedule really quickly.

@jgil85 if it helps, my DS (3.5) didn’t start training until after he turned 3. He only very recently, at 3 years 8 months, was 100% trained (meaning nighttime too). He just wasn’t ready. He was 22 months when DD was born and I had decided not to even attempt it before that because I feared a regression, but it turned out not to matter because he didn’t show any signs of readiness for over a year after that. You know what though? Training was an absolute breeze for us. We didn’t use any books or methods, we just followed his lead. He has never had an accident with me once (I think he maybe had 2-3 total at school and that’s it). Every kid is different and I hope you won’t feel too much pressure about it, especially since your LO still is very young!

snackheart · November 2018

DS is 3.5 (will be 4 in January) and DD turns 2 next weekend on the 18th 😭

Our biggest challenge right now is DS’s complete and utter meltdowns. He had no terrible 2’s and the majority of his 3’s have been lovely so I guess he was saving it up? I have noticed though that he only takes it to extremes when DH is around. I recently started to SAH and I never have these issues with him. I think our real challenge is getting MH to be a more patient parent, frankly. He doesn’t see the kids at all during the week and then on the weekends seems to expect them to be perfectly well-heeled and listen to everything he says instantaneously. He seriously barely even gives them processing time for what he just asked before raising his voice and/or taking something away. Then he gets more angry when they melt down.

If anyone has any advice for dealing with a partner’s unnecessarily ragey parenting, or can point me to any good books or websites I could share with him, I’d be grateful.

Mandamay1414 · November 2018

@jgil85 I initially tried to train DD at 18 months and it was a complete failure.. she could stay dry, but didn't have the communication/understanding factor yet. She ended up being terrified of the potty, so we backed off until she was 23 months old and was talking a lot more. The second try, we used training undies and no pants... the first 3 days were rough (more accidents than successes), but by the 4th day she was starting to get it. At first, she still wasn't great at telling me when she had to go, but would pee on the potty if I took her every 2-3 hrs. Now at about 28 months, I'd say she is 95% trained (including overnight) and pretty good at telling me when she has to go. She never has accidents with me or DH. She still has the occasional accident at daycare. We will still use pull ups when we go out for long periods of time during the day, mainly because she is still in the the stage of when she says she has to go, I have about 2 min to get her to the potty, lol, and that's not always doable.

I will say I probably won't even attempt to train Little Brother before 2.. It's nice not having to do the diaper thing, but DD still needs help with almost all aspects of the potty (can't reach the toilet paper while sitting on the potty, can only pull up some types of pants, can't reach the facuet to turn it on, even with a stool). It's still a TON of work for me and more inconvenient than diapers when we are out.

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