I would be careful with certain books. Of course research and learn as much as you can but I have found a lot of the books set you up for more stress later on. Each baby is so different and what works for one won't always work for another. I've had to change up things with each one of my kids because of this too.
I've found that a good, trusting relationship with your OB and pediatrician and then being on forums like these where you get tons of experiences and options to choose from to be far more helpful.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Don't drive yourself crazy reading books. Most of the first few week stuff you will learn in a baby class at the hospital/birthing center/pediatrician's office.
As your decisions on parenting arise, read books on how to implement those. Sleep training would not work for us, for example. Therefore Healthy Sleep Habits, didn't make sense to me. But I spent a lot of time on the AAP's website learning about SIDS prevention.
I laughed the snark and honesty of Jenny McCarthy's pregnancy book (it was hilarious) but I don't think I read a single baby book after my boys were born. I have a 25yr old step-son, so hubby had gone through this before.
There are some things that later on I did not realize I should have been doing with my oldest son. My oldest is a SPED kid, although through a LOT of hard work that is changing. He is also technically a Spectrum kid (high end). I did not know I should have been having him cut paper before he was 3. I didn't know I should have been getting him to draw straight lines or circles, or stack blocks...
He did not go to daycare or preschool until he was diagnosed at almost 3, and all of the things we did not do with him affected his scores and labeling. Now some of this is the way his brain is wired and would not have made a difference, but I was in school getting my degree in Special Education and Childhood Education and Adolescent Education at the time, so I of course felt really guilty that I had let down my son. Now I know he is more of a late bloomer with inherited anger issues (family history of mental health problems on both sides that DH and I watch out for in our boys). I could have saved myself years of guilt.
I have to say, I totally agree that you learn more from actually doing it. But if someone in our community is wanting to be prepared, I think being supportive and offering suggestions that they ask for is more helpful over saying that she will figure it out later in classes/postpartum. Personally, I had no support from family, had no idea what I was doing, had never been around children and the classes I took were not helpful, but the books did offer some help in preparing me for what was coming.
I read tons of books while pregnant, “mindful birthing” “the womanly art of breastfeeding” “the mayo clinic guide to a healthy pregnancy” “the happiest baby on the block” to name a few. Honestly I didn’t use much from any of them, the birthing/baby care class at my hospital was the most helpful and everything about baby care was really instinctual and I wasn’t really able to prepare for it until it happened!
Also, if you have a Publix near you, they have a “baby club” you can sign up for and they (at least used to a couple of years ago) mail you a great book for the first I believe 5 years. (I could get up and go look in the other room for the title but the kids are all napping and I’m cozy. I can look later if anyone is interested.)
@mrscammack Yes! I totally forgot about happiest baby on the block! I read that, or at least many parts of that and we worked the 5 Ss. The only thing that did not work for my boys was the soothing with pacifiers, they flat out refused to take them after 2 weeks old. But we swung, and sushed, and soothed, and swaddled and I forget the other one.
I LOVED swaddling the boys at bedtime. They slept in the swaddle sleepers until they were almost a year old, and it definitely helped them sleep. They still actually prefer to "burrito" sleep when they can
Sorry if my post came off that way @mamanbebe. I meant it more for once the baby comes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with researching and reading ahead of time. Just be prepared to try other things if that doesn't work out.
Most parenting books are trying to sell their method to you. I've seen so many parents drive themselves crazy trying to make what they've read in a book work when it absolutely does not work for everyone or for every baby.
I'm also cautious about birth plans because of this. You should absolutely educate yourself and have an idea of what you would like to happen but don't get so focused on your perfect birth that it "ruins" the entire moment because it didn't go that way. This obviously does not pertain to emergency situations where anyone would be freaked the eff out.
And that's my unsolicited parenting advice ha!
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@nopegoat No, I totally get it and I agree. I think to some extent every FTM wants to set themselves up for success and develop a set of ideas that helps make things seem less scary, which is great, I did. But every child is so different, it's really impossible to know what exactly will work well. I think every mom I knew changed directions on at least one hot topic that they were super passionate about, whether diapering, feeding, sleeping, screen time, etc. I agree with you on birth plans too.. all I know is I want a VBAC and I'm going to try to chill out for the next 9 months but I'm just kind of throwing my hands up for the rest.
@nopegoat I hated myself for months after DD was born because my milk never came in. I was "never going to formula feed." There was no reason for that. This kid liked formula. She's healthy and smart and perfect. Too much pressure on oneself ends up with disappointment.
Oh I also said I will never co-sleep. For year 1, I was too nervous for her to leave my room. Now at 26 months, she still sleeps in a pack and play at the foot of my bed. She has a handmade Amish crib that we paid a lot for, in a room that she never goes in...
@hestia14 I really enjoyed the book Moms on Call. It has a lot of general baby info and then more specific stuff about schedules, etc. Some of the things I loved, and used with my boys, other parts didn't really apply, but I think that will be true of any parenting book you read!
@literatureandink this will be so different for everyone, but always good to hear different perspectives. My first was a pretty typical labor, 16 hours from first contraction to him being born. Got to the hospital at 4cm, progressed regularly, got an epidural at 5cm. Got to 10cm and pushed for a little under an hour. Had a second degree tear, got stitched up, and recovery wasn't too terrible. He was born at 39w 4d
My second was an induction at 37w 2d. I had excess fluid, baby measured big, and I was at a risk for a cord prolapse if my water broke on its own. I was at 4cm when I arrived for my induction. At 8am they started me on a bit of pitocin and I walked around. Dr broke my waters at 11am, still at 4cm. Asked for an epidural at noon, anesthesiologist got to the room at 12:45, didn't have time for the epidural to be placed, and my son was born at 1:04pm. Went from 4cm to giving birth in 2 hours! No tearing, and recovery again went pretty well.
@literatureandink in my case, I was induced. The first anesthesiologist didn't believe me when I said the epidural didn't take. They inserted a balloon and I could feel everything. After about an hour, I told them to remove it and I was leaving the hospital. They gave me a second epidural. I had weird pain in my legs all night and my husband had to massage them. Because I didn't have feeling in my legs, I kept asking him to do it harder. The next day, I looked down and my legs were entirely black and blue. They gave me an ambien to relax me and I passed out. I woke up to a nurse cleaning me because I crapped all over myself (you said no holds barred).
The next morning, the doctor came to check to see how dilated I was. My daughter grabbed his hand. I ended up in an emergency c-section.
Sorry, it's not the romantic story that people love to hear.
@literatureandink the answers are going to vary so much because it's so different for everyone.
I have a relatively high pain tolerance and contractions suck monkey balls. There's no way to really describe how intense it feels especially when you getting close to the end. But it's also the most empowering feeling ever and honestly the adrenaline rush, plus hormones, and everything else gave me the biggest high I've ever had.
I have had a medicated birth with my first, an epi just for pushing accidentally as he crowned as I was scooting back on the table with my second, and then two completely non medicated births.
I tore like an SOB with my first. Straight up to my clit (TMI sorry). It still looks a little off down there because of it. No tears with any of my others. I totally pooped on the table with my first and I gave zero sh!ts (ha) which is huge because I don't even poop in front of my H!
You'd think when the baby crowns it would hurt like crazy but for me, while it did burn, it was a huge relief of pressure and pain.
It's the hardest and grossest, and the most amazing and beautiful thing I've ever experienced.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@literatureandink I had a very uncomplicated pregnancy and then we found out she was footling breech. My water broke at 36 weeks and I had a c-section because of her position. Birth for me was unexpected and I felt totally unprepared because I had just learned of her position and the possibility of a c-section two days prior. I leaned quickly that no planning on the world can control what happens. I was so glad that all went well, I had a pretty easy recovery, and she was healthy.
I found labor to be as much mental as it was physical. I labored for 60 hours. The first 55ish were at my birthing center. The contractions felt like there was a garbage compressor in my abdomen. Forcefully pushing down. But the stronger and more painful it was, the closer I thought I was to my baby. Once my labor stalled and I realized he wasn’t coming the pain became unbearable. I transferred to the hospital and had a c section after that.
@literatureandink it’s different for everyone but for me it was much better than I expected! I was induced and that process was slow and frustrating but I didn’t find contractions to be unbearable, I also suffer from endometriosis and my periods are usually worse than labour pains so that may have been why it didn’t phase me much. For me the hardest part was pushing but that was luckily quick and the moment they place the baby in your arms is the biggest high/adrenaline rush you’ll ever have!
My only advice is that it’s great to be prepared and have a plan of what you want to happen but be flexible and go with the flow. Trust your body and your instincts and be willing to change your plan based on your situation. It’s also the best advice I have about parenting too! I’m very type A and love to be prepared but nothing about pregnancy, birth or children can be perfectly planned and the more flexible/adaptable youre able to be the better your experience will be!
@ketomommy regarding BFing and FFing. I'm so sorry you went through that. Mom guilt is so real and society sucks for continuing to fuel mommy wars. Happy, healthy baby AND mom is the only thing that should matter.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I was induced with my first due to low fluid. After 36 hours of pushing he wasn't progressing and kept getting stuck on my pelvis. His heart rate started dropping so we went for an emergency c-section. Recovery was horrible. I think because I tried to do too much too soon after delivery. Once I got home I kept trying to go about my normal business, not realizing how major of a surgery that was. He was 10 days early.
For my second, I had a scheduled c-section planned for my second, but he had other plans and I went into labor 10 days early. I was still able to have the c-section. Recovery was much better this time around!
For my third, it was bizarre. I knew I was having a other c-section and he didn't come early so I just calmly walked into the hospital, got changed, laid down on the table and a few minutes later he was out. It was such a calm experience.
Each delivery is different, mine were very different 🙂
1- With my first I was prepared for everything but the labor lol. I had convinced myself it was better to “go with the flow” because I had friends who had mapped out a comprehensive birthing plan and then were devastated that it didn’t work out. But by going the polar opposite, I think I made misinformed decisions that ended up stalling my labor, causing complications and resulted in an emergency c-section.
2- Second time around, I knew better but I was still very nervous about labor given that my first hadn’t progressed that far before the c-section. To help counter this and ensure I had an extra advocate in the room, I hired a doula. Best decision I ever made. 17 hours of labor later, I was able to have a VBAC. If she wasn’t there, I probably would have thew the flag in a couple hours in lol. (I won’t go into the details of 17 hours lol because a- everyone’s pain tolerance is diff and b- God has a way of wiping it from your memory - well at least some of it lol) The best part was that the recovery was 100 times better, and it allowed me to play with my toddler when I got home (which was one of the reasons why I wanted to try a vbac).
@onaed and other scheduled c-section moms: how much time normally passes between checking yourself into the hospital and holding your baby in recovery? *edited to clarify: basically, how long does the whole process take?
@hestia14 it was 7 hours all in for me with 5 hours of that me trying/ failing to progress in labor. Once they decided to do the emergency c-section he was born within the hour. I’m sure with a scheduled c-section it is more pleasant, and they administer the anesthesia more slowly.
@literatureandink, take the pain medicine! Seriously though, do it:) Anyone that ever asks, that's what I say and I am sticking to it. I found contractions to be mentally incapacitating. I wasn't able to manage my thought/actions and started to panic. Once I had the epidurals it was smooth sailing. I found the week after labor worse than the actual process of pushing out a baby. Everything hurt, and omg the first time I had to go to the bathroom, I thought I was going to die.
Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21
@hestia14 I was holding each of my sons within a couple of hours. The surgery itself is pretty quick then they have to put you back together. I think for my last I was checked in by 8, had the surgery at 10:30 and was probably holding him by noonish.
@hestia14 you can also request skin to skin in the or. With my first i labored first and they took her away because I was out of it. With my second it was a rcs and they let me hold her and then my husband took her and waited in the recovery room for me.
My labor story isn't a pleasant one. M was already late as it was, but we ended up getting induced a day earlier than originally intended because his heart rate dropped during our last U/S. They sent us to the hospital, and put me in the perinatal ward on cytotec to dilate me. It took 24hrs to get me to dilate even a little. The nurses had to stop the cytotec several times because my contractions were so closer together and the pain was so terrible I asked for pain meds (too early for epidural). The doctor on call (not my usual doc or my delivering doc) also told them to take me off all food, even water and ice, for part of that 24hrs and I was miserable, couldn't sleep because M kept moving away from the monitor and the nurses would rush in to adjust it.
The new doc that came on shift gave the go-ahead for me to eat something and move me to the actual delivery ward despite being only partially dilated and only a little effaced. I got an epidural and started on pitocen. We were there for awhile until the doc finally told me that the pitocen wasn't working - M's heartbeat was dropping rapidly and they couldn't break my water because he wasn't far enough down. So not exactly an emergency c-section, but I had an anxiety attack the whole way through once we were headed that direction. The c-section itself wasn't bad aside from my anxiety. The upped amount of epidural they gave me made me super nauseated, so we had a towel doused in peppermint oil for me to breathe in. Only thing that kept me from vomiting. I healed up well, but they also gave us the baby to deal with right after with no assistance despite me being awake for 36 hours and having gone through major surgery. We were at the hospital for three days before going home.
@ameliabedelia-2 I agree that the week after was pretty miserable, especially with my first. Recovery was easier with my others except for when my uterus was contracting back down after labor, especially when I BFed. It wasn't so bad with #1 but it was labor again with #2 and so forth.
Also when the nurses come in and check you for clots and push on your ute. Ouch!!
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Gosh. . I remember when I read. . With my first, I read every baby care book under the sun and never used one. This is four kids later, mind you. I find truthfully, plan for the things you can control. You can get baby's room ready, have all of the supplies ready to go, make sure that you have a pediatrician, etc. However, have a flexible mindset on anything else. None of my births turned out exactly as I wanted them to. In their own rights, each of my kids had some weird thing happen-either a complication or just kind of crazy thing. Then you have this little person and truthfully so much just comes naturally. You will be really be surprised how mother's instinct kicks in. I know how hard it is not to worry and stress about what we cannot control. But right now, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself, exercise, put good food in your bodies, sleep. The rest will come.
My birth story for my oldest was horrible. ***TW*** this is a horrible story. Do not read it if you already have labor fears********** Brief story: I went into labor at a Memorial Day BBQ party. Went to the hospital to be sent home. Went back a few hours later and finally got admitted because I dilated. (That was Sunday night) Monday morning, the doctor broke my water without my permission. Contractions were miserable and came on very quickly. My body quit at 8cm and my doctor told me I needed a C/S or my baby would die. Went in for a c/s. Every thing was okay until she was removed. I felt them stitching me up. I felt their hands inside of me. I was in so much pain I was screaming. I was held down and medicated heavily. I didn’t see my baby for hours after. She was healthy and alive. That’s what mattered. The doctor put in my file that I requested a C/S. ******end TW******
my second daughter was my VBAC. I researched so much after the birth of my oldest. I was traumatized to have an OB Doctor see me at all so I went to midwives. They were amazing. At 38 weeks I was diagnosed with cholostasis so they wanted her out. I was induced and had an amazing birthing experience the second time. I was induced on a Friday night. Had contractions every minute but no pain. I was at 8cm and stalling again (no pain at all!!) and the midwife did a simple check and my water broke. A few hours later (and an epidural later) I had a healthy baby girl again, 1 lb bigger and 23” long. Little bugger tore me pretty bad, but I’ll take it any day over a c/s.
I’ve been hesitant to share my labor story here because so many mamas already have, but in case it helps someone... I’ll keep it short and sweet. It was definitely a learning experience. I was induced at 36 weeks due to low amniotic fluid. I really had to be my own advocate because it was a routine appointment and I was seeing a different OB as mine was unavailable. When they came in an told me my fluid level numbers, they just announced it matter-of-factly and moved on to another subject. I had to be the one to play doctor and say “wait a minute..... those levels have really dropped from my last visit, haven’t they?” It wasn’t until I asked that she did double check my numbers from my last visit. She left the room and about 10 minutes later she comes back. I’m not kidding you, she says “yes, we’ve seen a major decline in your fluid levels and we want to induce you today. We’re worried about baby. Please head to labor and delivery after this.” Had I not said anything, I’d hate to think what would’ve happened if I carried full term. They really didn’t catch it. I felt so overlooked. Thankfully, the L&D was fine, I was started on pitocin and gave birth a little over 12 hours later (started pitocin around 12:00pm and gave birth around 1:00am the next day and miraculously only pushed for 5 minutes before he was out.) I say all of this for FTM... If you belong to a big OB office with many doctors like I did, be your own advocate. Trust no one. Keep track of your own numbers and ask the hard questions when things just don’t feel right. My mother’s intuition very well may have saved me from a lot of heartache. This time around, I think I’m definitely going with a midwife.
@mamahmh2 thank you for sharing your story. That is scary to think that they simply did not even try to check against your previous numbers. I hope you recognize that was a brave thing to step in like that and that you were your baby’s hero that day ❤️ I hope you feel proud.
I'm sorry most of you ladies had horrible obgyn's. My ob has her own office and delivers at 1 hospital so I don't /didn't have to worry about someone I didn't know. I did end up having an emergency c section bc I got a fever and they couldn't break it and dd's heart rate started to drop. We both were in the hospital for a week on antibiotics but the staff and service was great. I still got to bf. Dd got to sleep in the room with me after 2 nights in the nicu.
@mizzmeg I'm a cholestasis mama too! Had it with both of my first two pregnancies. Anxious to see what will happen this time... I was induced at 37 weeks with both my babes and my best advice if you end up needing to be induced is to be patient with your body!!! Induction for my first was almost 48 hours and my second was 24. I know not everyone is so lucky, but my patience paid off and my body did what it was supposed to do so I had very smooth deliveries both times. My practice is made up of primarily midwives with doctors that are always on call for emergencies. I think having the benefit of midwives really made a huge difference as their focus is lower intervention, whereas a doctor might jump the gun on a csection.
I got to the hospital at 10:00pm and my son was delivered at 12:10am via emergency c section. The worst part was having to wait two hours to hold him after I woke up from anesthesia.
Re: Ask a STM+ November
https://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Baby-Young-Child/dp/0553386301
I also read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child in preparation for how to slowly progress through sleep training:
https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child-dp-0449004023/dp/0449004023/
I enjoyed reading Bringing Home Bebe but I discovered as time went by that it was totally irrelevant
I've found that a good, trusting relationship with your OB and pediatrician and then being on forums like these where you get tons of experiences and options to choose from to be far more helpful.
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As your decisions on parenting arise, read books on how to implement those. Sleep training would not work for us, for example. Therefore Healthy Sleep Habits, didn't make sense to me. But I spent a lot of time on the AAP's website learning about SIDS prevention.
There are some things that later on I did not realize I should have been doing with my oldest son. My oldest is a SPED kid, although through a LOT of hard work that is changing. He is also technically a Spectrum kid (high end). I did not know I should have been having him cut paper before he was 3. I didn't know I should have been getting him to draw straight lines or circles, or stack blocks...
He did not go to daycare or preschool until he was diagnosed at almost 3, and all of the things we did not do with him affected his scores and labeling. Now some of this is the way his brain is wired and would not have made a difference, but I was in school getting my degree in Special Education and Childhood Education and Adolescent Education at the time, so I of course felt really guilty that I had let down my son. Now I know he is more of a late bloomer with inherited anger issues (family history of mental health problems on both sides that DH and I watch out for in our boys). I could have saved myself years of guilt.
Yes! I totally forgot about happiest baby on the block! I read that, or at least many parts of that and we worked the 5 Ss. The only thing that did not work for my boys was the soothing with pacifiers, they flat out refused to take them after 2 weeks old. But we swung, and sushed, and soothed, and swaddled and I forget the other one.
I LOVED swaddling the boys at bedtime. They slept in the swaddle sleepers until they were almost a year old, and it definitely helped them sleep. They still actually prefer to "burrito" sleep when they can
Most parenting books are trying to sell their method to you. I've seen so many parents drive themselves crazy trying to make what they've read in a book work when it absolutely does not work for everyone or for every baby.
I'm also cautious about birth plans because of this. You should absolutely educate yourself and have an idea of what you would like to happen but don't get so focused on your perfect birth that it "ruins" the entire moment because it didn't go that way. This obviously does not pertain to emergency situations where anyone would be freaked the eff out.
And that's my unsolicited parenting advice ha!
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Oh I also said I will never co-sleep. For year 1, I was too nervous for her to leave my room. Now at 26 months, she still sleeps in a pack and play at the foot of my bed. She has a handmade Amish crib that we paid a lot for, in a room that she never goes in...
@literatureandink this will be so different for everyone, but always good to hear different perspectives. My first was a pretty typical labor, 16 hours from first contraction to him being born. Got to the hospital at 4cm, progressed regularly, got an epidural at 5cm. Got to 10cm and pushed for a little under an hour. Had a second degree tear, got stitched up, and recovery wasn't too terrible. He was born at 39w 4d
My second was an induction at 37w 2d. I had excess fluid, baby measured big, and I was at a risk for a cord prolapse if my water broke on its own. I was at 4cm when I arrived for my induction. At 8am they started me on a bit of pitocin and I walked around. Dr broke my waters at 11am, still at 4cm. Asked for an epidural at noon, anesthesiologist got to the room at 12:45, didn't have time for the epidural to be placed, and my son was born at 1:04pm. Went from 4cm to giving birth in 2 hours! No tearing, and recovery again went pretty well.
in my case, I was induced. The first anesthesiologist didn't believe me when I said the epidural didn't take. They inserted a balloon and I could feel everything. After about an hour, I told them to remove it and I was leaving the hospital. They gave me a second epidural. I had weird pain in my legs all night and my husband had to massage them. Because I didn't have feeling in my legs, I kept asking him to do it harder. The next day, I looked down and my legs were entirely black and blue. They gave me an ambien to relax me and I passed out. I woke up to a nurse cleaning me because I crapped all over myself (you said no holds barred).
The next morning, the doctor came to check to see how dilated I was. My daughter grabbed his hand. I ended up in an emergency c-section.
Sorry, it's not the romantic story that people love to hear.
I have a relatively high pain tolerance and contractions suck monkey balls. There's no way to really describe how intense it feels especially when you getting close to the end. But it's also the most empowering feeling ever and honestly the adrenaline rush, plus hormones, and everything else gave me the biggest high I've ever had.
I have had a medicated birth with my first, an epi just for pushing accidentally as he crowned as I was scooting back on the table with my second, and then two completely non medicated births.
I tore like an SOB with my first. Straight up to my clit (TMI sorry). It still looks a little off down there because of it. No tears with any of my others. I totally pooped on the table with my first and I gave zero sh!ts (ha) which is huge because I don't even poop in front of my H!
You'd think when the baby crowns it would hurt like crazy but for me, while it did burn, it was a huge relief of pressure and pain.
It's the hardest and grossest, and the most amazing and beautiful thing I've ever experienced.
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My only advice is that it’s great to be prepared and have a plan of what you want to happen but be flexible and go with the flow. Trust your body and your instincts and be willing to change your plan based on your situation. It’s also the best advice I have about parenting too! I’m very type A and love to be prepared but nothing about pregnancy, birth or children can be perfectly planned and the more flexible/adaptable youre able to be the better your experience will be!
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For my second, I had a scheduled c-section planned for my second, but he had other plans and I went into labor 10 days early. I was still able to have the c-section. Recovery was much better this time around!
For my third, it was bizarre. I knew I was having a other c-section and he didn't come early so I just calmly walked into the hospital, got changed, laid down on the table and a few minutes later he was out. It was such a calm experience.
1- With my first I was prepared for everything but the labor lol. I had convinced myself it was better to “go with the flow” because I had friends who had mapped out a comprehensive birthing plan and then were devastated that it didn’t work out. But by going the polar opposite, I think I made misinformed decisions that ended up stalling my labor, causing complications and resulted in an emergency c-section.
2- Second time around, I knew better but I was still very nervous about labor given that my first hadn’t progressed that far before the c-section. To help counter this and ensure I had an extra advocate in the room, I hired a doula. Best decision I ever made. 17 hours of labor later, I was able to have a VBAC. If she wasn’t there, I probably would have thew the flag in a couple hours in lol. (I won’t go into the details of 17 hours lol because a- everyone’s pain tolerance is diff and b- God has a way of wiping it from your memory - well at least some of it lol) The best part was that the recovery was 100 times better, and it allowed me to play with my toddler when I got home (which was one of the reasons why I wanted to try a vbac).
edited for typo
The new doc that came on shift gave the go-ahead for me to eat something and move me to the actual delivery ward despite being only partially dilated and only a little effaced. I got an epidural and started on pitocen. We were there for awhile until the doc finally told me that the pitocen wasn't working - M's heartbeat was dropping rapidly and they couldn't break my water because he wasn't far enough down. So not exactly an emergency c-section, but I had an anxiety attack the whole way through once we were headed that direction. The c-section itself wasn't bad aside from my anxiety. The upped amount of epidural they gave me made me super nauseated, so we had a towel doused in peppermint oil for me to breathe in. Only thing that kept me from vomiting. I healed up well, but they also gave us the baby to deal with right after with no assistance despite me being awake for 36 hours and having gone through major surgery. We were at the hospital for three days before going home.
Also when the nurses come in and check you for clots and push on your ute. Ouch!!
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******end TW******
my second daughter was my VBAC. I researched so much after the birth of my oldest. I was traumatized to have an OB Doctor see me at all so I went to midwives. They were amazing. At 38 weeks I was diagnosed with cholostasis so they wanted her out. I was induced and had an amazing birthing experience the second time. I was induced on a Friday night. Had contractions every minute but no pain. I was at 8cm and stalling again (no pain at all!!) and the midwife did a simple check and my water broke. A few hours later (and an epidural later) I had a healthy baby girl again, 1 lb bigger and 23” long. Little bugger tore me pretty bad, but I’ll take it any day over a c/s.
I was induced at 36 weeks due to low amniotic fluid. I really had to be my own advocate because it was a routine appointment and I was seeing a different OB as mine was unavailable. When they came in an told me my fluid level numbers, they just announced it matter-of-factly and moved on to another subject. I had to be the one to play doctor and say “wait a minute..... those levels have really dropped from my last visit, haven’t they?” It wasn’t until I asked that she did double check my numbers from my last visit. She left the room and about 10 minutes later she comes back. I’m not kidding you, she says “yes, we’ve seen a major decline in your fluid levels and we want to induce you today. We’re worried about baby. Please head to labor and delivery after this.”
Had I not said anything, I’d hate to think what would’ve happened if I carried full term. They really didn’t catch it. I felt so overlooked. Thankfully, the L&D was fine, I was started on pitocin and gave birth a little over 12 hours later (started pitocin around 12:00pm and gave birth around 1:00am the next day and miraculously only pushed for 5 minutes before he was out.)
I say all of this for FTM... If you belong to a big OB office with many doctors like I did, be your own advocate. Trust no one. Keep track of your own numbers and ask the hard questions when things just don’t feel right. My mother’s intuition very well may have saved me from a lot of heartache.
This time around, I think I’m definitely going with a midwife.
I was induced at 37 weeks with both my babes and my best advice if you end up needing to be induced is to be patient with your body!!! Induction for my first was almost 48 hours and my second was 24. I know not everyone is so lucky, but my patience paid off and my body did what it was supposed to do so I had very smooth deliveries both times. My practice is made up of primarily midwives with doctors that are always on call for emergencies. I think having the benefit of midwives really made a huge difference as their focus is lower intervention, whereas a doctor might jump the gun on a csection.