June 2019 Moms

PGAL Week of 10/31

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Re: PGAL Week of 10/31

  • I think seeing that loss on the spotting thread didn't help my anxiety this morning either.

    @meatballs37 Maybe it's the whole hook effect thing though?
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  • @meatballs37 I’d say more than likely hook effect. I had to stop POAS once it was darker than the control because after that point, its just a toss up and stresses me TF out. Hoping all is well with your U/S tomorrow. 
  • ruby696ruby696 member
    edited November 2018
    @meatballs37 I think it's a good sign that you're still having symptoms. With my losses, symptoms were the first to go but my hcg was still 27,000 - obviously high enough for a strong positive test. Hopefully you were just well hydrated and/or hook effect.  <3

    ETA: add words
  • edited November 2018
    @meatballs37 I'm also voting hook effect. Hopefully your appt tomorrow eases your mind.

    @sparklingdiamond its got me all worked up too. This sucks.
  • I’m tempted to get more frers today and test the hook effect theory. But I know that’s just unhealthy and if it doesn’t work, I will be a mess. So I won’t. 

    My next appointment is at 9am tomorrow. So 25 more hours...

    Moral of the story: don’t pee on anymore sticks. It’s not worth the worry. 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



  • @meatballs37 I would say hook effect too.  It's so tempting to POAS though...just to see.  I think I'm going to have to ask H to hide mine.  I hope you're able to keep your mind off things until tomorrow morning (yeah right, I know).
  • @bakerstreetboys I would definitely have H hide yours. 🙈 

    *TW* talking about MMC
    Also, anyone else want to go back to your first pregnancy when it was ignorant bliss? Like when you had no idea what the hook effect was? I remember before I got pregnant with DD, I had never even heard of a MMC. I assumed in all MC, you found out by spotting. So when someone on my Aug 16 board had zero spotting and went in for her second US and baby had been gone for weeks, it shook me and at that point I had never even had a loss to worry about. I want to go back to dumb me, I liked her better. 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



  • @meatballs37 Yea I agree I wouldn't do that.  I totally understand wanting to but your u/s is not too far off!
  • @sparklingdiamond hoping for a great appt today!

    @meatballs37 step away from the pee sticks! 😁 I’m sorry you are struggling, I totally get it. I just need an at home US machine! But seriously, I’m sure everything is fine and I will be thinking about you and hope your day flys by for your appointment tomorrow.

    AFM, not loss related but my initial bloodwork report came through the portal last night and my MMR vaccine has “worn off” I guess bc I don’t have enough rubella antibodies. Dr google comforted me a little and I know we haven’t had many cases in the US in the past 15 years but I seriously just want to crawl into a bubble for the next 6 months! 
  • @meatballs37 I dream to go back to the land of ignorance nearly daily.
  • @nmbrcrnchr1 I didn't realize they could "wear off".  I mean I know some can, but I didn't know that one could!
  • @meatballs37 I too wish for bliss and ignorance. I feel like if I had had any signs of MC it wouldn't be so hard to handle this pregnancy (I'm probably wrong). But the missed part really just screws with my head. I had no idea for 5 weeks. 5 weeks I went about life joyfully thinking everything was perfect. It makes me mad thinking about how "stupid" I was.
  • @meatballs37 Yep, me.  I figured if I was going to have a mc, I'd have cramping and bleeding.  Like @prpl11butterfly, I went about my life happily for weeks before going for the u/s only to find out that there was no heartbeat.  Now instead of looking forward to u's, I dread and fear them.  Doesn't seem fair.  I can't wait until I can use my Doppler. 
  • I'm thinking about telling DH I want a doppler for my birthday (end of this month). Providing all goes well Fri.....
  • I love my doppler and I can't wait to break it out. MMC's really mess with your head. I can feel great about things one day and be convinced it's over the next day. And the weeks are so long. Ugh.
  • +1 for going back to bliss please. 

    Also though, as much as I love TB, I didn’t know about most of the things that can go wrong until I got here. I didn’t know what a MMC or a CP was. Which feels naive now, but I used to be a lot less stressed. 
  • @srscott3 I didnt know about MMC until it happened to me. I had a coworker a long time ago who had several CPs so I had googled back then. 

    @ruby696 I feel the same way. Some days I'm so positive and feel like "this is it, this is happening" and then others where my mind is in the total opposite place of pure negativity.
  • @prpl11butterfly Yesterday I was almost in tears at my desk, telling myself how stupid I was for getting my hopes up when I knew better. Told MH that my symptoms were gone/almost gone. By 8:00, I was exhausted, I was mildly queasy and my boobs hurt again. Now I'm telling myself I need to chill the eff out. The emotional ups and downs are killing me.
  • Glad your symptoms are back!

    DH is mad that I won't even acknowledge the possibility of everything being okay. I'm so scared to let him know my guard is down once in a while. Last night he put his had on my lower abdomen and I had to force myself not to recoil. I feel aweful. I truly hope this feeling goes away if everything looks good on Fri. I want to be able to be excited a little bit. And maybe even discuss a name without "checking" myself.
  • It sounds like we are all experiencing a lot of anxiety. I agree about MMC. It steals some of your innocence. I feel like I never really know that everything is ok. After freaking out last Friday about the pain that turned out to be nothing I don’t want to call the doctor again and tell them that my morning sickness has decreased significantly. Even though that was my biggest sign last time that something was wrong. I don’t want there to be something wrong. 
  • @sparklingdiamond I didn’t know either. I was not immune with my DD 3 years ago so it must’ve worn off between now and then. Just got off the phone with the nurse and they don’t seem concerned so I’m going to try to not be either. I will have to get a booster shot after I give birth, but that is all. I may buy a bubble suit for the next few months 😂
  • MMCs truly are terrible. With mine, I discovered it because I had bleeding and cramping. The morning before I went in to the ER to get things checked out, I looked up a friend’s blog because I remembered she had a miscarriage and wrote about it, and her experience ended up being nearly identical to mine. It wasn’t until that point that I realized that MMCs were even possible. Then at the ER, they found that the baby had stopped growing four weeks before, and only days after I had an ultrasound that looked like everything was going perfectly.

    I had an ultrasound 2 days ago where everything looked great, and the reassurance from that has already almost completely worn off.
  • I don’t think I will ever get true reassurance or excitement during pregnancy although when I can feel them kicking I do start to breathe easier. 

    TW*** My first pregnancy was my MC, by the time I found out I was pregnant and began to wrap my head around it, I was losing it. I knew miscarriage happened but I had no idea it was so common or what even happened or how much it would hurt physically and emotionally. They admitted me to the hospital after I went to the ER since I was bleeding so bad (I didn’t even know what was normal for a MC) but they could find the baby on the ultrasound so they were worried it was ectopic. I spent the night in the maternity ward listening to the distant crying of new babies, and every so often, the first few lines of Brahms lullaby which played every time a baby was born. I was never the same after that in many ways. 3 successful pregnancies and beautiful babies still hasn’t really touched my anxiety and fear during pregnancy (every milestone I hit instead of making me feel better I immediately begin to focus and fear for the next one) although I do think I have healed in some ways ***end TW
  • @sparklingdiamond I am sorry they were not forthcoming with the info you needed. Surely they wouldnt have mentioned releasing if you were not on track. But I totally don't blame you for wanting a repeat.
  • @prpl11butterfly I think my RE just doesn't think about that kinda stuff.  He just measures and says it looks good and goes from there.  I agree though he wouldn't have been willing to release me today if things didn't look good.
  • @sparklingdiamond I’m glad that he gave you good news, and I’m glad that he gave you the option of coming back next week. Hopefully you’ll get more information then.
  • Actually I see now it does list the FHR at the bottom there, it was just really hard to see.  I think it says 166.
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