Love hearing everyone's stories and what they are thinking. With DD I went to a practice that had an OB and CNM. I saw them both throughout my pregnancy and the CNM delivered my baby. It's really sad but my OB had a stroke about 3 weeks before I delivered. She is recovering but not able to practice. I'm so sad for her but happy she is alive and making progress. She always made me feel beautiful and well cared for. I always got a hug at my appointments. She had that rare combination of incredibly intelligent, very compassionate, and personable.
I'm staying with my CNM, who I also love and have so much trust in. She's at a new practice so if I end up being high-risk or needing a C-section then I'll need to choose a new OB at the practice but I'm hoping I'll be able to be exclusive with my CNM.
Agree with those who say the nurse at the hospital is important. I loved my labor and delivery nurse, her name was America and she was amazing. I really hope I have her again with this baby. I'm very fortunate that my first delivery was fast and complication free...just a lot of vomiting.
I went into my first labor being open to whatever happened. I didn't have a set idea of how it would go. I just read as much as I could, listened to all the different experiences of the STM in BMB, and attended the hospital birthing classes. I felt prepared in that I knew the different possibilities of what could happen and I just rolled with it.
@ShadeofGreen816, cannot echo strongly enough what you said about going with a CNM if you choose that route!!!! I think the CNM route can work wonderfully for women who want a lower degree of intervention. I’d personally want to reassurance of an OB backup in case anything went wrong though.
im lucky in that my OB group and the hospital that I will deliver at again is overall low intervention and really supports you in labor. I wanted to go Med free last time, which I almost succeeded in doing, but then was super happy with the epidural that came just in time to push out the baby! In the end, trusting that your provider will help keep you and your baby healthy is what matters, no matter which route you choose
Is anyone considering a midwife attended homebirth? While we didn't have a terrible experience at the hospital with my first I just wasn't able to relax or sleep untill we were back home.
@farmmomrao I have thought about it. My husband is a doctor and I would just let him deliver the baby. He isn't comfortable with that though.
We are planning to leave the hospital shortly after the baby is born. I refuse to stay more than 6 hours if me and the baby are both fine. We are so miserable the entire time and they are so pushy, trying to take my baby to the nursery, trying to take the baby for a bath, etc. No thanks to all of that. I will give my baby their first bath and I don't want my baby leaving my side. (No judgement to any moms who send their baby to the nursery, to each their own, it just isn't for me)
@emeraldcity603 that's terrible that they were so pushy at your hospital! Is there another option?
My hospital was great. They asked me what we wanted and told me everything was up to us (when to bathe, nursery or in-room, breastfeeding or formula). I know each hospital is different.
@emeraldcity603 I feel the same way. I hate being in the hospital and leave right at the 24 hr mark. I may leave sooner this time if I can. So many friends try stay as long as possible and hand baby over to the nurses as often as they can so they can rest before they have to go home. That's just not how I roll.
I also would never be comfortable with my child going to the nursery. Ever. This will be my number three, and I know that it would be harder for me to relax with them away from me for any bit of time. Just not something my mom brain is ok with.
And if a home birth were an option that would 100% be the route I would go. Unfortunately there are no midwives in my area that do home births.
I’ve had two hospital deliveries, the first was fine, but the second was both a nightmare and an unbelievable blessing that ended in an emergency c section. I will do anything I can to avoid that happening again. The hospital stay, which was a mandatory four days was excruciating, and just no. I was so exhausted by the NURSES. They came in to check my vitals every two hours. They woke me more than my newborn 😑 So it’s birth center and then packed up and home ASAP this time around. Fingers crossed, anyway.
@kelk5 my husband doesn't feel comfortable being away from the hospital and that is the hospital my OB delivers at. I wouldn't go to another OB either. She is awesome. I practice FAM and she is very supportive of and even knows about how it works which is very rare. I plan to start talking to her about leaving early and getting her on board early on in this pregnancy. I also plan to speak to my pediatrician and get him on board as well. Hopefully if they both agree the hospital won't put up as much of a fight.
@emeraldcity603 how do you leave the hospital so early? Do you just kind of walk out? Do you have to sign something for leaving against medical advice?
They made us stay an extra day for monitoring because I was strep B positive then another half day more because DS hadn't officially pooped yet! So we got there Friday at 2am (because my water had broken at midnight) DS was born Saturday at 6am and we didn't get to leave until Monday afternoon.
@farmmomrao, it takes a lot of pushing on my part. They kept telling me we needed to stay bc DD2 hadn't pooped. I told them I would follow up with her pedi the next day. Then they said I needed to come back for bloodwork bc she was jaundice. I said, I will come back or get the bloodwork done somewhere else. I had to be very insistent and they got every person they could in my room to try to convince us to stay. I had to start getting rude and I was about to start cutting our wrist bands off and leaving ama if they hadn't got the discharge paperwork to me when they did. I basically told them they were trying to keep me against my will, lol.
I don't want to deal with that BS this time so I'm going to get paperwork from both my OB and pedi that states they are okay with us leaving (as long as we are both doing well after the delivery). I plan to bring it up at every prenatal appointment and have everything arranged with the hospital before I go into labor.
I was so miserable the 24 hours they forced me to stay. All night long they came and woke us up every half hour. She nursed so much my milk came in the next day. Then when they switched to dayshift, I wouldn't see anyone for hours. 🙄 it was absolutely ridiculous.
I will ask my current midwife about leaving the hospital early at my next appointment but since she now works forfthe or hospital I doubt she would get on board The midwifery group I am thinking of transferring to only does homebirths and none of the local hospitals will allow them to come with you if you do end up needing to go to the hospital. I also think insurance coverage will be a problem so we will probably have to pay a little more out of pocket. I would definitely be happier to stay at home but I am also nervous to be 20mins from the hospital if something does go wrong. Ugh, I wish we had a birthing center here!
I wouldn't risk a home birth with a 20 minute commute to the hospital. You may lose precious brain cells during that kind of commute. <<main reason we opt for a hospital birth every time. Although, I would trust my husband to care for either of us but if something happened, he would never forgive himself.
@chikin_mama_3, I’m curious (and please don’t think me insensitive for asking this, it’s something I’m curious about for myself), will you be allowed to give birth at a birthing center, having had a section? I am hoping to TOLAC and hopefully VBAC this time (my oldest was born vaginally with no complications but my twins were an unplanned section thanks to malpresentation of Twin B. Stinker flipped footlong breach two hours before induction) and I know that I am an excellent candidate because my pelvis is “proven” and the reason for my section was malpresentation, rather than failure to progress or some other physically limiting factor. But they are still going to be careful with me because I do have that scar tissue, which I assumed meant hospital birth whether I wanted it or not. Have you done research/discussed it with your OB? (Again, genuinely curious)
Married 25 May, 2013 William Alexander born 18 September, 2015 Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017 Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017 Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
@KissMeImScottish Oh, that’s not too much to ask at all, and yes, I can be at a birth center. My Midwife knows my birth history and for a VBAC in most areas it need to be at least two years since you had the section, and it’s been eight for me.
Also, I don’t have an OB. Happily going Midwife only. She’s also who I see for all my “lady” needs. I personally don’t feel like I need an OB unless this pregnancy were to turn high risk. Plus I have delivered vaginally before, and my c section was also because of bad presentation that caused a mess of other problems.
I hope your medical team team will work with you on whatever you feel most comfortable with.
@chikin_mama_3 That's good to know. I had a c-section with my first and VBAC with my second. With my VBAC, I had to have an IV in each arm and couldn't move around at all, which I hated. I wish I could refuse the IV's at the hospital or at least not be hooked up, but last time they acted like my uterus could rupture at any second.
@emeraldcity603 a 20 minute commute isn’t far, and they’re not losing “brain cells” ?? Each state has laws in place re: how far a homebirh can be from a hospital to protect mom and baby. Additionally, almost all transfers are non-emergent (from things like pain management, too long of labor, etc) as opposed to emergent situations.
Re: those saying that CNMs are the only safe option; that’s just not true. It’s correct that “lay midwives” are untrained, but they’re also illegal. But, Licensed Midwives (LMs) which are sometimes called Certified Professional Midwives (CPMs) are certified and trained by NARM and MANA. The training is different, and they aren’t legal in all states, but they’re absolutely a safe option. Mama Natural’s pregnancy book has a great section on this if you’re trying to decide which type of midwife to hire.
Happy to answer any questions with evidence-based information // Singed, a professor at a midwifery college
@imwithbaby, yes, a 20 minute commute is WAY too far. If the baby is having trouble breathing and goes without oxygen for too long, it can and will lose brain cells. I'm sorry but I disagree with you completely. I'm not the type to take chances with my baby's life so unless the birthing center is attached to the hospital or right down the street, it would be a definite no for me.
@emeraldcity603 you’re welcome to disagree, I’m just explaining what the law states, and that it’s BEYOND rare for that kind of situation to happen because mom and baby have been so well vetted for being low risk. Additionally, it’s common (anecdotally) for Midwives to catch emergency situations before any hospital staff ever would. The statistics show that home births are just as safe (if not safer, according to some research) than hospital births. I understand the emotion in your reply, but it implies that mom’s who choose to home birth more than 20 minutes from a hospital are risking the life of their baby, and that’s simply not true.
@imwithbaby I can tell you that as an attorney, my firm recently dealt with a case where a baby died due to complications at a birth center. So it can't be that rare, since there are only 3 of us discussing this and one person (me) has direct information regarding the death of a baby. The birth center in question has a very good reputation, but a baby still died.
FWIW I use a midwife, although I have given birth at the hospital where she has privileges (c-section then VBAC). My mom gave birth to my brother at home (not by choice, her labor lasted 25 minutes). I personally think midwives are wonderful. But the fact of the matter is that home births/birth centers do not have trauma centers, they don't have NICU's, and they don't have surgeons. If you don't need those things, great. But if you do, 20 minutes is an eternity. I think that's all @emeraldcity603 was trying to say.
I would also like to add that I'm not against using midwives. I have used one with 2 pregnancies, but only delivering with one (we moved midpregnancy). My midwife delivered at the hospital and she did a wonderful job.
The fact is, even if emergency situations are "rare," they still happen. They can even happen in a low risk pregnancy with no signs of complications leading up to birth.
@emeraldcity603 I was low risk prior to labor with DS. Then my water partially broke - and it had meconium in it. My midwife/the hospital still let me go 27 hours before they insisted on the c-section. DS was sunnyside up and his head was stuck in my pelvis. So sometimes you just don't know until you're in the situation. Granted, we probably would have had plenty of time to get to a hospital. But I feel very strongly that in the not so distant past, DS and I would have probably died. Or at least he would have.
As a VBAC mom who will have a repeat VBAC, I also want to be somewhere where I have the best chance if I have a uterine rupture. Kind of dark, but I try to be realistic. But as I think we both discussed earlier, I despise being in a hospital and would happily stay at home for the whole thing if I could, since my hospital is only about 7 minutes away.
@ruby696, I actually just talked to my pedi this morning about him agreeing to use leaving the hospital a few hours after the birth. He was okay with it as long as we could be in the office within 24 hours.
I plan to leave AMA if I have to. I refuse to suffer through another 24 hours in the hospital with my newborn.
@emeraldcity603 Ugh, it's so miserable. Apparently birth is stressful on my kids, because both had meconium present when they were born. DD's was so thick, it looked like pea soup and we didn't know until her head was out - no sign of any when my water broke so it must have happened after. They had a team there in seconds to work on her and she was fine. But I was willing to wait the 24 hours to make sure she didn't have any problems. This baby will probably be a meconium baby too, with my luck!
Yes, these events can absolutely happen. They can also still happen at a hospital. And, there is (obviously) less of a risk of complications from interventions when you deliver at home—which we never seem to talk about (e.g. a 5% chance of C-section with homebirths vs 32% chance with a hospital birth). There are risks from a hospital that you’d never encounter with a homebirth.
I’m 1000% not saying you should have a home birth—clearly you’re not comfortable with it and that’s absolutely okay. I’m just trying to bring some evidence into the picture for those low risk women who do want this as an option and don’t want to be made to feel they’re terrible moms for “putting their baby’s life at risk” when really, you do that just by being pregnant and delivering in America. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@imwithbaby I think its really important for people to be aware of the side effects (or potential side effects) of intervention. In my experience, intervention 100% stalls my labor. I had cytotec, pitocin, and an epi with DS and had a c-section. Again, he was sunnyside up, so I'll let that one slide. But with DD, I was at a 6 or 7 when I got the hospital. I had an epidural and went down to like a 4-5. My labor stalled for hours. And seriously (this sounds so cheesy) it wasn't until the nurse started talking about a c-section that I just closed my eyes and imagined my cervix dilating, that i went to a 10 in like 45 minutes. DD probably would have been born in 5 hrs if I'd skipped the epidural. I am absolutely going to try to go med free this time.
@imwithbaby I’m honestly just curious and not trying to come across as snarky.. But what evidence is there that a home birth is safer than a hospital birth? And if complications arise in a hospital wouldn’t that in fact be a better location to be since the resources are right there? And, last one, which is more of a comment than a question, but a c-section isn’t the end of the world and personally, not reason enough for this mama to risk a birth at home.
@srscott3 If you don't mind me butting in. I think the issue is that hospitals are more likely to push intervention, which can lead to complications. I'm fine with telling my midwife no at this point (baby no. 3), so it's not really an issue for me.
I think the key is being an advocate for yourself and making sure you actually have a low intervention OB. When I first moved to TX the first OB I saw said he was low intervention but in the same breath told me I would need an induction because of how fast DS2 came. I left and never went back. My current OB is very low intervention but I literally went through 3 doctors to find her.
I had a low risk, no complication, text book pregnancy. My labor was also textbook until I had to push. Then my son's heart rate plummeted, meconium was present, and he was born not breathing. In my situation he would have died had we not been in a hospital. Literally nothing was wrong until about 20 minutes before he came out. He had to be taken immediately for resuscitation by the respiratory team that rushed into the room, had an IV placed in his umbilical stump, and narrowly avoided a blood transfusion. He lost over half his blood volume due to a cord clamp failure while he was being resuscitated.
For this reason I will be using a midwife who delivers in a hospital. I feel it's the best of both worlds!
If you want more evidence about how medical intervention totally screws with your birth, I highly suggest the doc The Business of Being Born and More Business of Being Born. SO MUCH great information in there, and it is so eye opening.
Also, but please don’t put down a mother for her choices for how she has HER baby. Childbirth, and the choices we make involving it are so personal. I started this thread just to see if anyone else was thinking of using a Midwife or Doula. Not to argue for or against either side.
@chikin_mama_3 I’m with you except for the movie. It’s biased and not fact based. I can’t say much that this article can’t say. It IS written by an MD but I think she makes a reasonable effort to really look at both sides. I think birth can be done safely (or as safe as possible) in a variety of environments. I am influenced by my personal experiences as an ICU nurse, NP, and mom whose perfectly healthy baby needed some minor rescusitation after birth. But it’s personal. Just means that people should know a reasonable amount about what they’re getting themselves into so that any risk (birth anywhere carries risk so I’m not only implying that home births are risky) is calculated and understood going into it.
Wow, you all have given me a lot to think about. My insurance gives me the option to use a midwife (that’s attached to the hospital) or an OB/GYN. Ideally, I would like to avoid interventions (pitocin in particular) after seeing my sisters have med-free births and the freedom during labor they had. It seems that most OBs really push the inductions. I don’t know if it’s to try to avoid nights/weekends or what. Is it just a matter of being super confident to tell your doctors no when they try to push that stuff? If the midwife works for/in the hospital, are they still more likely to be pro-intervention?
U.S. infant mortality rate 5.9 per 1000 births (cdc website). For planned home births 1.3 per 1000 births (from the most recent, comprehensive peer reviewed study I could find- Outcomes of Care for 16,924 Planned Home Births in the United States: The Midwives Alliance of North America Statistics Project, 2004 to 2009. Journal of midwifery and women's health) This analysis also looks at intervention and complication rates which are almost all worse for hospital births, unfortunately it does not compare them side by side so you do have to look up the hospital statistics separately. The current research really does point to the home being the safest place for low risk women to give birth which seems crazy to me, with modern medicine a hospital should be the safest place!
@TJtheGoat, if the midwives are attached to the hospital, go with the midwife. They typically are lower intervention. However, all you have do is say no to an induction. I wouldn't agree to an induction unless I was over a week past my due date or had pre-e (or some other medically necessary condition....I would be researching all possible outcomes of those medical conditions though).
If it's hard for you to be firm and say no to a dr, go with the midwife. I have no problems telling doctors no so I'm comfortable with an OB.
@TJtheGoat To add to what @emeraldcity603 said, if you would feel more comfortable in a hospital but want to make sure you're being given medical advice you can trust, you can also go with a doula. I did not use a doula because I trust my midwife, but some people feel better with an advocate. Just make sure you do your research and thoroughly screen prospective doulas. I've also heard some horror stories.
Re: Using a Midwife and or Doula?
I'm staying with my CNM, who I also love and have so much trust in. She's at a new practice so if I end up being high-risk or needing a C-section then I'll need to choose a new OB at the practice but I'm hoping I'll be able to be exclusive with my CNM.
Agree with those who say the nurse at the hospital is important. I loved my labor and delivery nurse, her name was America and she was amazing. I really hope I have her again with this baby. I'm very fortunate that my first delivery was fast and complication free...just a lot of vomiting.
I went into my first labor being open to whatever happened. I didn't have a set idea of how it would go. I just read as much as I could, listened to all the different experiences of the STM in BMB, and attended the hospital birthing classes. I felt prepared in that I knew the different possibilities of what could happen and I just rolled with it.
im lucky in that my OB group and the hospital that I will deliver at again is overall low intervention and really supports you in labor. I wanted to go Med free last time, which I almost succeeded in doing, but then was super happy with the epidural that came just in time to push out the baby! In the end, trusting that your provider will help keep you and your baby healthy is what matters, no matter which route you choose
While we didn't have a terrible experience at the hospital with my first I just wasn't able to relax or sleep untill we were back home.
We are planning to leave the hospital shortly after the baby is born. I refuse to stay more than 6 hours if me and the baby are both fine. We are so miserable the entire time and they are so pushy, trying to take my baby to the nursery, trying to take the baby for a bath, etc. No thanks to all of that. I will give my baby their first bath and I don't want my baby leaving my side. (No judgement to any moms who send their baby to the nursery, to each their own, it just isn't for me)
My hospital was great. They asked me what we wanted and told me everything was up to us (when to bathe, nursery or in-room, breastfeeding or formula). I know each hospital is different.
And if a home birth were an option that would 100% be the route I would go. Unfortunately there are no midwives in my area that do home births.
I’ve had two hospital deliveries, the first was fine, but the second was both a nightmare and an unbelievable blessing that ended in an emergency c section. I will do anything I can to avoid that happening again. The hospital stay, which was a mandatory four days was excruciating, and just no. I was so exhausted by the NURSES. They came in to check my vitals every two hours. They woke me more than my newborn 😑 So it’s birth center and then packed up and home ASAP this time around. Fingers crossed, anyway.
Do you just kind of walk out?
Do you have to sign something for leaving against medical advice?
They made us stay an extra day for monitoring because I was strep B positive then another half day more because DS hadn't officially pooped yet! So we got there Friday at 2am (because my water had broken at midnight) DS was born Saturday at 6am and we didn't get to leave until Monday afternoon.
I don't want to deal with that BS this time so I'm going to get paperwork from both my OB and pedi that states they are okay with us leaving (as long as we are both doing well after the delivery). I plan to bring it up at every prenatal appointment and have everything arranged with the hospital before I go into labor.
I was so miserable the 24 hours they forced me to stay. All night long they came and woke us up every half hour. She nursed so much my milk came in the next day. Then when they switched to dayshift, I wouldn't see anyone for hours. 🙄 it was absolutely ridiculous.
The midwifery group I am thinking of transferring to only does homebirths and none of the local hospitals will allow them to come with you if you do end up needing to go to the hospital. I also think insurance coverage will be a problem so we will probably have to pay a little more out of pocket.
I would definitely be happier to stay at home but I am also nervous to be 20mins from the hospital if something does go wrong.
Ugh, I wish we had a birthing center here!
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
Also, I don’t have an OB. Happily going Midwife only. She’s also who I see for all my “lady” needs. I personally don’t feel like I need an OB unless this pregnancy were to turn high risk. Plus I have delivered vaginally before, and my c section was also because of bad presentation that caused a mess of other problems.
I hope your medical team team will work with you on whatever you feel most comfortable with.
Re: those saying that CNMs are the only safe option; that’s just not true. It’s correct that “lay midwives” are untrained, but they’re also illegal. But, Licensed Midwives (LMs) which are sometimes called Certified Professional Midwives (CPMs) are certified and trained by NARM and MANA. The training is different, and they aren’t legal in all states, but they’re absolutely a safe option. Mama Natural’s pregnancy book has a great section on this if you’re trying to decide which type of midwife to hire.
Happy to answer any questions with evidence-based information // Singed, a professor at a midwifery college
FWIW I use a midwife, although I have given birth at the hospital where she has privileges (c-section then VBAC). My mom gave birth to my brother at home (not by choice, her labor lasted 25 minutes). I personally think midwives are wonderful. But the fact of the matter is that home births/birth centers do not have trauma centers, they don't have NICU's, and they don't have surgeons. If you don't need those things, great. But if you do, 20 minutes is an eternity. I think that's all @emeraldcity603 was trying to say.
The fact is, even if emergency situations are "rare," they still happen. They can even happen in a low risk pregnancy with no signs of complications leading up to birth.
As a VBAC mom who will have a repeat VBAC, I also want to be somewhere where I have the best chance if I have a uterine rupture. Kind of dark, but I try to be realistic. But as I think we both discussed earlier, I despise being in a hospital and would happily stay at home for the whole thing if I could, since my hospital is only about 7 minutes away.
I plan to leave AMA if I have to. I refuse to suffer through another 24 hours in the hospital with my newborn.
I’m 1000% not saying you should have a home birth—clearly you’re not comfortable with it and that’s absolutely okay. I’m just trying to bring some evidence into the picture for those low risk women who do want this as an option and don’t want to be made to feel they’re terrible moms for “putting their baby’s life at risk” when really, you do that just by being pregnant and delivering in America. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But what evidence is there that a home birth is safer than a hospital birth? And if complications arise in a hospital wouldn’t that in fact be a better location to be since the resources are right there? And, last one, which is more of a comment than a question, but a c-section isn’t the end of the world and personally, not reason enough for this mama to risk a birth at home.
I’m a lawyer as well. No problem here with speaking up 😂
For this reason I will be using a midwife who delivers in a hospital. I feel it's the best of both worlds!
Also, but please don’t put down a mother for her choices for how she has HER baby. Childbirth, and the choices we make involving it are so personal. I started this thread just to see if anyone else was thinking of using a Midwife or Doula. Not to argue for or against either side.
https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/the-business-of-being-born/
This analysis also looks at intervention and complication rates which are almost all worse for hospital births, unfortunately it does not compare them side by side so you do have to look up the hospital statistics separately.
The current research really does point to the home being the safest place for low risk women to give birth which seems crazy to me, with modern medicine a hospital should be the safest place!
If it's hard for you to be firm and say no to a dr, go with the midwife. I have no problems telling doctors no so I'm comfortable with an OB.