Using a Midwife and or Doula?

chikin_mama_3

I’ve had my Midwife chosen since my loss earlier this year and she is great. Love her. Then it dawned on me that I might like a doula as well. So, I just emailed and have spoken with what I think is going to be my doula! I’m so excited I found her. She has tons of experience and knowledge, and I’m sure she can help me with my hopes of a natural birth.

Anyone else going with either of these options, or have you in the past? This will be my first time with either, but I know I’m making the right choice. 

ruby696

I've used a midwife for both my kids, although they were both born in a hospital. She's amazing and I will absolutely use her again this time.

eleven_

@ruby696 Can you (or anyone else) tell me the differences between using a midwife vs a doctor in the hospital? I have to choose a new doctor this time around and the hospital I called asked if I wanted a midwife instead. I know the midwives can't perform surgeries, but do you think there was a benefit to using the midwife vs a doctor?

luckystar28

I used a nurse midwife last time around. I felt she did a wonderful job making me feel comfortable and at ease, but unfortunately she dropped the ball when I developed preeclampsia and she missed the symptoms and worrisome test results for a good while until it became extremely life threatening. I feel like it is fantastic when you’re low risk, though. 

I also had hired a doula. I love their work and was excited for the support. I highly recommend! Since I was induced 6 weeks early though due to the pre-e, she couldn’t make it to the birth. 

harrierwife

There are very slim pickings in my area for CNM that Tricare will accept (and have good reviews) so I'm going with an OB that comes very highly recommended. I really, really, really wanted a midwife, but don't have much choice. I will however, hire a doula. 

I've been hunting for one the last several months, and found a great one through word of mouth and doulanet.com. She's fantastic and a NE implant to Mississippi as well. 

I just want to go into birth with as much info as possible and an advocate. I know NOTHING and my husband knows even less. He doesn't think we need one, but too bad - she's going to be part of our team. My best friend had a doula and her husband couldn't recommend one enough. He said he wouldn't have been able to cope with what was happening as well as he did without her support. 

ruby696

@eleven_ my midwife is part of an OB's office. I like my midwife for my prenatal care, although I like a couple of the OB's as well (on did my c-section and one *TW* did my d&c). IMO, it really doesn't matter when you're in labor because the nurses do most of the work. My midwife would check on me while i was in labor, but she had other patients also in labor that she needed to be with as well. She spent time were she was needed the most. A different midwife delivered my second (I'd never even met her but mine was out of the country) and doctors are staffed and available as needed.

I think a key difference is that midwives are less likely to rush the process. If you don't want intervention, that might be a consideration. However, I have no problem saying no to a doctor, so again, it's a toss up.

klmcguire

So I have been through 2 inductions with thoughts of a natural birth, but not really plausible after enough pitocin and labor to want to try a natural birth. (pre-e)

This time around I would really like to try a doula and see if we can make it without an induction. Midwives are still not legalized in Alabama. 

I have no clue what a doula costs, expectations or anything. So if anyone has insight I would love that! 

SunflowerMama428

@ruby696 totally agree with the nurses doing most of the work! 

I loved my nurses for both deliveries and they were really my best advocates because once the dr left I could talk to them unfiltered and they would go to the dr and be like look she’s absolutely not comfortable with that and she is feeling pressured or they would talk me off the ledge. That was amazing for me because I get white coat syndrome and get anxiety over voicing my opinions. Maybe I lucked out but the nurses were everything I needed. Like I barely needed my husband. Lol 

harrierwife

@klmcguire  - doulas run anywhere from $700-1500 I think. Mine's around $800 (I got a mil discount), but also provides childbirth classes and post-natal support as well. Many have lactation certifications, etc., too so that's something to take into consideration. 

eleven_

Thank you! @ruby696 That's kind of what I figured. 

Erin1510

My intake will be with a midwife on the 30th. The office I'm seeing has two, but you have to be accepted in to their service. If you aren't, they can still do your prenatal visits but they can't deliver the baby.

I hope I am accepted to their service because I feel like a lot of what happened during my son's delivery would have been different if I had a midwife instead of an OB running the show. 

chikin_mama_3

@klmcguire Doula prices vary, but if it’s over $1000 I’d make sure she’s damn worth it. Mine is $750 and she has attended over 200 births and has incredible reviews, and credentials. Where as there’s another girl in my area with less than a year of experience and no reviews charging $1000. I do know some double as birth photographers, and that might up the price a bit. Bottom line, just be comfortable with whomever it is, and good luck! 

ruby696

While we're on the subject, I want to add that for me, intervention really slows my body down. Like really slows things down. With DD, I was at a 7 when I got to the hospital and after the epi I went down to a 3. It added hours to my labor. Same with DS, who I had cytotec, pitocin and an epi with before a c-section (not related to meds, he was sunnyside up). I'm hoping I can be strong enough this time to skip the epidural, but we'll see. 

I can see how a doula would be really helpful in avoiding intervention if that was important to you. 

ETA: grammer

Erin1510

I think I am going to look into a doula this time around too.

With my son I was stuck at 8cm for HOURS! Like 5-6. It was positional but no one was there helping me to move him around and I had no clue what to do as a first time mom. 

klmcguire

@ruby696 See this is where I am like, "is a doula for me" 

I am a pretty open and comfortable person with speaking my mind and I needed an epi both times to relax my body. I went from 6-10 within 45 minutes of an epi the last 2 times. 

I may reach out to a couple who I know to see if it is right for me. 

emeraldcity603

I used a midwife for my third birth and an OB for all other births (total of 4 births). I loved my midwife and she delivered in the hospital so it was the best of both worlds. Where I live now they can't deliver at the hospital. They only do home births and birthing centers. There aren't enough options for me to choose from and they are quite a distance from the hospital. 

My OB is great though. Very low intervention and she supports me in all of my decisions/wants for my birth. My husband is an ER doctor and he makes a great birthing partner. He is so supportive and really provides everything I have ever needed during labor and delivery. He actually delivered our last baby because my OB was still making her way from the parking lot to my room when I was pushing. 

My last 2 deliveries have been all natural and almost pain free. I use The Bradley Method and I practice everything they lay out in the book for a few weeks prior to labor. It looks like I am sleeping when I am actually working through a contraction. Highly recommend it. 

ruby696

@klmcguire I wish that was me because epidurals are awesome. But so is being being done fast. DD probably would have been around 5 hrs without it. 

ShadeofGreen816

I dont have midwife on my OB team, which is ok with me because I'm someone who wants an epidural and wants to give birth in a hospital. Make sure to look for a CNM. Never, ever, ever a lay midwife. Please. They have no regulations and can literally be someone that has watched a few births and decides they want to be a midwife. Too many things can go wrong, and they can go wrong quickly. Overall, midwives tend to be less intervention-oriented. I thought about a Doula with DD but couldn't justify the cost considering I knew I'm not the natural birthing type. I'm too wimpy.
@ruby696 that's wild - I've never heard of the cervix closing like that! I think mine slowed me down, but I had been awake all night laboring at home so I was thrilled to have time to nap haha!

dntstpbelieveing

Due to my high risk nature I will be with a OB/MFM combo. That being said I did make sure to interview my OB to make sure that we had similar ideals for the experience I wanted. With my son we just picked a dr off the insurance website and went with them and it was not a joyous experience. My labor was an emergency induction so it was what it was but I think the pregnancy itself could have gone smoother had I had a Dr. who was listening to me. MH walked out of a few of my appointments because of how bad it was, dont ever feel stuck with a provider, you pay them! 

That being said I will also have a epidural this time. With my son I was stuck at a 3 with poticin for about 10 hours and got an epidural and got to 10 within 2 hours. (from induction to baby was about 28 hours) 

ruby696

@ShadeofGreen816 The women in my family have very fast births. My mom woke up in the middle of the night and my dad delivered my brother 25 minutes later. DS was 29 hrs (c-section) DD was 9 hrs (VBAC), so I'm a bit nervous for this one. That said, I would love to labor at home as long as possible!

ETA: words

runyogamom

@emeraldcity603 did you take the Bradley Method classes or just read the book? 

I wanted to go med free last time but after 8 hours of intense contractions and doing nothing I got the epidural. If I need to be induced again this time I have a feeling I'll end up with an epidural if it goes the same as last time. But if I can labor on my own at home med free would be my preferred choice. 

ShadeofGreen816

@ruby696 that is scary! I was in labor FOREVER withDD so I’d like something in between. But lord knows, it’s out of my hands! I started having irregular painful contractions on Saturday am at 0400, they got regular Saturday night at 10:00pm, went to the hospital Sunday am at 0500 at 6 cm and she wasn’t born until 6:01pm!  But a slow labor is better than those precipitous labors in your family!!

emeraldcity603

@runyogamom I just read the book and practiced everything they say to do. So there are stretches and you also practice getting into a relaxed state, and breathing the right way. 

I also made sure I was laying in the right way with pillows propping up my legs. For some reason the pillows took so much pressure off of me and it was almost instantaneous relief to the discomfort I was feeling before I got into that position. 

runyogamom

thanks @emeraldcity603 I'll have to get the book and add that to my list of things to read this time. That's helpful to know.

sparklingdiamond

I didn't hire a doula with either pregnancy, but afterwards, totally wish I had.  I actually in the process of doing doula training and I definitely want to hire one.  As for hiring a midwife, I would like to, but am also really scared to because of how stressful/traumatic my last pregnancy was and just might feel more comfortable having all the stuff available that the OBs have.

GabbyCat13

I'm a doula and will definitely be hiring a doula again for this birth. I have a set of Midwives lined up at the closest birth center from us, a 35-minute drive, which is much better than the hour and ten-minute drive we made with baby #4, haha. 

carleym93

I started out with a midwife with DD but I felt she wasn’t as knowledgeable as my OB, so I went back to my OB. I’m actually getting a tour of a really well reviewed birth center in my city on Saturday. Their staff is all CNM’s and they are a little crunchy, but I’m interested. They actually send you home 2 hours after birth. I had DD in a hospital, and I’m glad I did because I needed a vacuum delivery and she spent some time in the NICU. I’m just an anxious type and need to have the baby monitored through the whole delivery for peace of mind.

jmvander

@GabbyCat13 this may sound like a dumb question, but how big of a deal was it to be an hour away from the hospital? Whichever hospital we choose, we are looking at about an hour drive at least. Any of my coworkers around here who were in the same situation have had family closer to the hospital or were lucky enough to have the timing just right or were induced.

I am a FTM so I don't have any clue what to expect or when the hospital will admit me. I plan to discuss with my doctor and ask the hospitals that we visit, but I want to make sure there isn't something else we aren't thinking about!

chikin_mama_3

@jmvander There’s really no way to be sure unless you have an induction of some kind before you go into natural labor. It could go fast, or your labor could take days, but there’s really no way to know how it’s going to go until it happens.

lovemesomemonster

There is so much to think about, I am enjoying this thread! I have been seeing a CNM, she is the one that pulled my IUD and I really liked her. Took her time, answered all my questions, I am excited for my first appointment since the positive test on Nov 1. I hope I can stay low risk and stick with her, the birthing center is a beautiful new building attached to the hospital and they have two OBs on staff if something doesn’t go as planned.

desoky01

I am sticking with my family medicine doctor who also does OB. She does all my prenatal visits and is on call for labor any time unless she is with another patient in a different hospital (she works at 2). She is also my regular doctor as well as our son's (and future baby's) so it's nice to see the same person for everything. 

@jmvander I agree with others that it depends on your experience and it's so hard to predict what will happen. Generally you'd expect the hour drive to be ok, but you never know! It would have made things difficult for us because I needed iv antibiotics four hours before DS was born (GBS positive), my labor was only 5 1/2 hours long, and TMI!!!!!!!! I couldn't get off the toilet for about an hour to get to the hospital because my bowels were clearing. They almost didn't have enough time for the antibiotics because they didn't realize how fast I was progressing. 

junebabyh

@jmvander Since you are a FTM I would imagine that your labor and delivery will not be all that quick, though as many people here have said, everyone and every pregnancy is different. It's very common for second babies to come quite fast, though. My DS2 was born exactly two hours after my water broke. Luckily, we live 5 minutes from the hospital, but by the time they got us into a delivery room there was no time for an epidural. (Not my choice!) With my first DS, we were about 30 min from the hospital, but it was a much longer process so distance didn't really matter. I wouldn't worry about being an hour away this time around if I were you. Hope that helped.

jmvander

Thanks all! I know there is no way to tell what to expect, I just don't want to miss any options. I just keep on thinking how crappy it would be to get to a hospital and then be told to go home, which won't feel like an option. I didn't know if there were other places that would be more keen to let you stay, or if we would benefit more from hiring someone to help us or what.

ruby696

@jmvander I agree with others that the hour will probably be okay. However, you may not want to wait as long to go in, as a car is not a comfortable place to be if you're having strong contractions. At least in my experience 

junebabyh

@jmvander One thing to know: If your water breaks, they will not send you home.

nmbrcrnchr1

@jmvander I live about 40 minutes from the hospital I delivered DD at. I went in too early (stayed at 2 cm for over an hour) and they sent me home. I went home and then real labor started, I waited a few hours and went back again. That was probably 4 hours from when I left the first time, I was then at a 6 so I had time to get an (amazing) epidural and I actually didn’t have DD until about 6 hours later (long time pushing 😖). Like someone else said every labor is different but I was also worried about going back home and making it back in time but we had plenty of time! 

AshleighDB

I'm in Canada so our process might be a little different but I'm planning on using a midwife and doula. 
With my previous pregnancies I delivered at the hospital with the OB who helped me work through recurrent miscarriages and carry two babies to term. It made sense to stay with her and have her deliver (she was not actually on call with either birth so never actually delivered my children) She is now retired so I figured we could give a midwife a try this time. After the first trimester my pregnancies and births have been very routine so I'm confident that a midwife would work for us. We're also applying to use the birth center rather than a hospital and I'm excited for that! Midwives and availability at the birth center are extremely limited here so we need to get on with both right away.
We did use a doula with our previous births and definitely will again. She is so helpful at helping us plan and decide what we want, making sure we have knowledge and resources, and during the actual birth she suggested so many positions and massage techniques that were a livesaver. Also she reminded me to drink water after every contraction and filled my water bottle 80 times haha

AshleighDB

@jmvander I arrived, was assessed, and left the hospital to return later with both of my births. The first time my water had broken but they thought it would be a long time since it was a first birth. The nurse and I thought I should leave, the doctor thought I should stay because it could progress quickly. I signed myself out and had to return two hours later in hard labour, whoops.
The second time they sent me away because it wasn't time but I knew I would progress quickly so we stayed close by, grabbed dinner, went shopping for two hours. When we walked back in they were like, why are you back so soon? And I had my daughter less than an hour later.

Every time is so different though, it's so hard to predict until you're actually there going through it  

prpl11butterfly

I think every hospital will have different policy on the water breaking deal. I know my hospital will send you home even of your water has broken. The only exception is moms who test + for Strep B. In that case they want you there asap to have 4hrs minimum of IV penicillin. That was me and my labor was 12hr from that point until delivery w/3 of pushing (his head was stuck on my pelvic bone because he was facing 2).

junebabyh

@prpl11butterfly Oh I didn't realize. I have always been told (and experienced) that once your water breaks you are there to stay at the hospital because you're at a much higher risk of infection. But you're right, I guess every hospital handles it differently. ...Side note, I also pushed for 3 hours with DS1! (!!!!!! the worst). He was sunnyside up.

ruby696

@JuneBabyH Oh wow, I also pushed for 3 hrs with DS, who was also sunnyside up. Back labor is so much worse than they make it sound in birth classes. Ugh.