maternity leave

batmama31 · October 2018

I didn't find a thread on the subject, hope no one minds me starting one.

the benefits enrollment window has opened up at my work, and I have until this friday to make my selections. my company gives us the option to buy an extra week of vacation, and while I originally wasn't going to, my husband is encouraging it, mostly so I can add an extra week or two onto my paid maternity leave.

my company offers 12 weeks paid. I plan on taking advantage of every bit of that. but I'm not sure how my management will feel if I ask to add additional time to those 3 months. I'm also wondering how many working moms do take more than 3 months, or would if they could.

I'd love to hear other working moms' thoughts.

heather0128 · October 2018

I plan to take 10-12 weeks. My time only comes from my accrued leave time though, otherwise I would need to invoke FMLA/LWOP. If I take 0 days off between now and my due date, I will have 11 weeks of accrued time off.

MRDCle · October 2018

My company does 14 weeks paid, which I plan to take. I can take up to 6 months total, which would financially be a stretch, but with NICU time up in the air for twins, I may extend it a couple weeks after that. That may be a game time decision though.

bankssl1 · October 2018

I don't get maternity leave this time around.. I can tell you now, you are NOT going to want to go back to work and will find every reason possible why you shouldn't. Take all the time you possibly can. I got 6 weeks partial pay with my son and took 2 weeks PTO and still only went back part time for a couple of weeks. Once you get back into the swing of a schedule and working all is fine, it's getting there that takes some major effort.

mels823 · October 2018

Girl, DO IT! Take the extra week. Management can F off.

lilpotatomama · October 2018

I have 12 weeks unpaid, but thankfully a solid savings. I’m only going back half time after, three days a week max, so I’m not too worried about extending my time. Of course I’m sure my tune will change by April!

jasmine5904 · October 2018

I plan on taking 12 weeks of FMLA, and my company provides short term disability which would pay 60% of my normal pay. I should have lots of vacation time saved up, plus a week of sick time, so I'm hoping I can tack some of that on to the beginning or end of my leave to make it a little longer. Or I might just save some of that vacation time so that I can work a reduced schedule when I do return to work - I'm required to work as close to 40 hours/week as possible, so it might be nice to ease back into it. I still need to talk to my HR department to see what all of my options are.

Piccola1988 · October 2018

@batmama31 they can handle another week or two. I'd be up front with them about it, but if that option is available to you then you shouldn't fee guilty about taking it.

My company made their maternity leave policy shittier while I was pregnant last time (honestly I think this was because I was pregnant), which really got under my skin. They used to offer 8 weeks fully paid and 4 unpaid, then they changed it to 8 weeks paid at 60% and 4 weeks unpaid, plus they switched to unlimited PTO and wiped out any accrued time that originally could have been applied as extra. Since I am in NY and they have rolled out a tiered maternity leave policy that jumps to a minimum of 10 weeks paid beginning in 2019, I do think the policy will have to get marginally better.

After that I feel very little guilt about taking as long as I want - the only issue being that I am a department of one and the longer I'm out the worse it will probably be for me when I get back. Regardless, I'll be taking at least 12 weeks, if not maybe up to 16.

thatbaintforbetty · October 2018

I don’t know what I will get since right now I’m a temp. My boss has said she wants to hire me on permanently but I don’t know when or if that will happen especially once I tell about the pregnancy. And even if I get hired on it would depend on when that calculate my date of hire on what I could possibly qualify for. My company is small and I’m pretty sure doesn’t have to give FMLA. They are very family friendly though and I’m hoping it will work in my favor. I have a couple back up plans but right now I have to wait and see.

With DD I took 6 weeks and it wasn’t near enough, but I couldn’t take any longer. You don’t get that newborn time with your baby back, take every bit you can.

gollygeeitsamy · October 2018

You really need to check with your Benefits or HR department. Some companies do not allow anything over 12 weeks FMLA and they use vacation/sick time first before maternity leave benefits kick in (short term disability, paid leave, etc). Everybody's situation is going to be different based on policies from your company. Both my last company and my current company do not allow anything over the 12 weeks and if I use vacation/sick time that will kick in before my 60% short term disability. Example: I had 2 weeks vacation at time of birth but I was required to use that 2 weeks vacation during the 12 weeks and was not able to extend it to 14 weeks.

Also, after the initial FMLA 12 week period (if you are qualified to use that benefit) your company has no legal obligation (federally, it will be different per state as well) to keep you on as an employee or in the same position. So, you would need to talk with your boss/HR to see what you can do and what your rights are if you can take longer. If you work for a company that is giving you 100% paid leave and letting you take more than 12 weeks then they are a solid company in my book. I would also get it in writing before you go out on leave, just to cover your bases.

If I had the opportunity, I would take more than the 12 weeks but I am only allowed my 12 weeks FMLA or I forfeit my job. It was really hard going back to work after 3 months, especially since my LO was not a good sleeper. I was a zombie and I missed being home with her. My job also changed my position to a glorified secretary when I got back to work (their legal right as long as it's not a demotion or pay decrease) so I left that job 2 months after going back to work to my current job. I plan on taking the full 12 weeks with this baby as well.

eli_belle · October 2018

I have short term disability that starts 4 weeks before the due date + at least 6 weeks after the baby is born. We also have an additional 4 weeks of paid parental leave after STD ends. Last pregnancy my STD period was extended due to debilitating complications which is also very possible this time around. So I am looking at at least 14 weeks of leave. When I come back I plan to use vacation to work half time for the first two weeks before going back full time.

sheknows6 · October 2018

I'm still contracting at my job otherwise I would get 16 weeks paid; instead I'm getting 12 weeks unpaid, and four weeks half remote/half onsite when I return so that I'm transitioning back into the office full time. I'm surprised I got what I did, as they are not obligated to give me anything at all.

kosmo86 · October 2018

I will take 12 weeks, although I am don't qualify for FLMA because I will have only worked there 11 months (officially + 1.5 years contracting). I know my job will be safe. Because I know I am having a C-Section I will get 8 weeks STD, 4 at full pay and 4 at 2/3 paid and then 4 unpaid weeks.

While I was sort of sad to go back to work. I have no interest in being a stay at home Mom and was actually excited to get back to work.

kangstadt · October 2018

I'm definitely a little jealous of everyone's paid maternity leave. My job doesn't have it as an option, although my boss is going to argue for it with our director (who doesn't know I'm pregnant yet). However, my boss is amazing and let me take three months off with my first, so I know he will again. It just sucks that it's not paid. Now that we have a mortgage, it's going to be tough for those few months after baby gets here.

catherineclaire78 · October 2018

I get 4 months fully paid, and it is not taken from vacation/sick days which is far better than anywhere else I have worked.

@batmama31 I would talk to your HR people and see if you can use the vacation week as an extra week of leave. Even if you can’t, if you can use it as a separate vacation during the year I would still do it, because you will value having that extra time off—even if it’s just a staycation. I’d also talk to the other moms you work with who’ve taken maternity leave...their experiences are often invaluable learning tools for the nuances and culture of that particular company.

batmama31 · October 2018

@MRDCle, yeah, I'm sure multiples changes things quite a bit!

@bankssl1, true.. I wasn't working w/ my first, and I've got to say that my biggest concerns this time around is what my new morning routine will be, and pumping o_O

@lilpotatomama, good point! I didn't even think to consider part-time or work-from-home options.

@jasmine5904, my company also offers short-term disability @ 60%, but I'm not sure if I HAVE to use that before vacation, or vice versa. I did find some literature stating I have the option to utilize paid vacation in lieu of any unpaid options.

@Piccola1988, that is super shitty! I'm with you, I would take the max time just out of spite. but like you, I also know the pain of taking too much time off b/c my role is one deep. I'll just create more work for myself when I get back.

@thatbaintforbetty, hoping for the best for your situation! and thank you for the insight. this will be my last baby, and while I'm definitely not cut from the SAHM cloth, I want to take advantage of every moment I have w/ this last one.

@sheknows6, as generous as your company is, and as grateful as we are when we get what we do, it still sucks that it isn't better, am I right?!

@kosmo86, I'm with you, girl. I did the SAHM thing w/ my first for a year. it definitely wasn't my cup of tea. I have a friend who is a nurse who was ready to go back to work after 4 weeks for the same reason.

@kangstadt, I'm sorry to hear that

I know how lucky I am to work for a company that has a generous leave policy (by american standards).

@catherineclaire78, I did find literature that says I can use paid vacation in lieu of any unpaid time off. my concern is more about what my direct management's reaction will be. and unfortunately, I don't work w/ other moms. i work in a male-dominated industry & the only other female in my office is single w/ no kids.

I appreciate everyone's input & advice! after sitting on it for a day, & reading everyone's responses, I've decided to go ahead & purchase the extra vacation. I'm also going to gauge my management's thoughts on my coming back part-time or working from home before I come back full-time.

thanks again, everyone!

saraleigh2 · October 2018

@gollygeeitsamy that is exactly how it worked at my company when I was pregnant with DS 2.5 years ago!!!

Its hard I would push for as much time as possible!!!! Doesn’t mean you have to take it, my company would have been happy to have me back early if I had wanted that.

My son was tongue tied (breast feeding was very important to me so feeding took a lot of work and trouble shooting) and my postpartum recovery was difficult I was not ready to go back, I became a SAHM.

BarefootContessa · October 2018

Wow. I'm pleasantly surprised to see that most of you have decent ML policies in place with your employers. I will receive 6 weeks off paid by my employer, and must drain all of my PTO/Sick for the rest. This is to run concurrently with FMLA, so I will get no more than 12 weeks off, period. It goes so quickly.

angelob88 · October 2018

12 weeks definitely goes quickly. I'm taking the full 12 weeks FMLA but 6 of those I get short term disability so I'll have 60% for half of my leave time. Still trying to figure out if I want to use a week of vacation before my due date to let me prepare. I'm leaning towards that route which would give me 13 weeks if baby comes early.

LifeofLauren2 · October 2018

You ladies have some great ML policies at work. My company doesn't have to do FMLA (15 employees). So, we get 4 weeks paid and then can take an additional 8 weeks. I do have short term disability insurance through an outside insurance so I plan on using that too and one of my 3 weeks of vacation. So, I'll get paid for 5 weeks from work plus my short term disability insurance which unfortunately I can't remember what my benefits are. I am taking 12 weeks this time. With my daughter I took 10 weeks and she was in NICU for 2 of those weeks. I felt like I didn't get enough time with her.

Tulips1233 · October 2018

I am thankful that my company just updated their parental leave policy, so I’ll get 16 weeks paid, including 8 weeks short term disability. I am sure it will fly by but I am thankful to have this much time paid. The company updated their policy to include 8 weeks parental leave, so new fathers get 8 weeks too, which has been so great for them

lin0442 · October 2018

Unless my company surprises us this open enrollment, I’ll be taking the full time I can under FMLA, with all my vacation and sick leave paid during that time (probably 7 weeks total if I don’t use much by then). DH plans to take time off after me, and his work at least pays 60% for 8(?) weeks.

No babymoon for us, just saving money so we can take some time with our LO. Parental leave is a joke in the US.

fuzzywombat · October 2018

We have 2 weeks paid (umm thanks) + 6 weeks STD. It’s the norm to take significantly more time off though, so I need to talk to my coworker and find out what she did. I’d like to maximize my leave, even if it ends up being partly unpaid

llamamamanyc · October 2018

Good for you mamas with paid maternity leave!! (Are you hiring?! 😉) I plan to take 6 weeks short term disability (which I think is 60%) and then NY Paid Family Leave, which will be 10 weeks in 2019 (can’t remember if it’s 55% or 60% of pay). My husband has a far more generous parental leave policy than me, and he’ll be able to take at least 10 weeks of NY leave as well. Hoping to keep “Stinklet” out of daycare until s/he’s 6 months old. (That’s another story — already so stressed about the daycare process!! 😬)

batmama31 · October 2018

@lin0442, no kidding!! i know my company’s policy is pretty generous (my husband works for the sameness company, and he’ll get 4 weeks paid parental leave) but it blows in comparison to other first world nations.

@llamamamanyc, daycare is so stressful!! we will be able to delay it until after the first birthday, as my mom has agreed to babysit for the first year. but i know most parents don’t have that option- all the more reason to reconsider better parental leave policies! ✊🏼

mrstmoose · October 2018

I only get 8 weeks (csection) but it’ll end in June and I work in a school so I get 4 months off. It will be unpaid but I pay into a STD bank and will receive a portion of my income for 6 weeks. We are currently in “stork mode” and are basically saving my income right now until April.

jennb85 · October 2018

My school district only pays 10 days maternity leave!!! 😲 After that, we have to use our banked days, which I don't have much of because it's my first year teaching in this new district. I thought that was illegal or something, and I was so surprised to learn this because our county makes a ton of money for the school district with the energy industry here and uses it for all kinds of things, but apparently not for paid maternity leave. 🤔 Luckily, I'm due with about 3 weeks left to the school year and will just go straight into the summer from there. I'm really wanting to be a SAHM, but am worried about what we'll do about health insurance since my husband's work doesn't have it (he works at a law firm with one other partner).

tumblefluff · October 2018

I already told my boss I’m taking the summer off! I can take up to 18 weeks off but my job is only protected for up to 13 weeks. I took 16 weeks last time in case I needed to take more time off before my leave expired. Most of that was unpaid. I’ll do the same this time around. But my company recently changed their policy though so I’ll get 6 weeks short term through the state (60% of pay) and then 4 weeks through my company (100%). I think the state also had baby bonding pay for 4 weeks (60% of pay) so if that’s still available I’ll add that!

kangstadt · October 2018

@jennb85, is there any option for insurance through your state that you could look into? I know being married is probably tougher, before we got married, I was on Medical Assistance due to my income being so low. After getting married and adding DH's income, I wouldn't have qualified anymore though (although I'm on his insurance plan through work now so no big deal). Still, it might be worth looking into!

ashtuesday · October 2018

I'm a teacher, and I'm eligible for 6-8 weeks pulled from my sick bank (depending on if it's a vaginal birth or c-section) if I so choose, and then 6 weeks of paid leave. If baby comes on time, I'll wind up taking 10 weeks. That would send me back to school on June 11, which means I only have two weeks of work until summer rolls around.

I took the full 12 weeks with my daughter this past spring. I wouldn't say I was exactly ready to go back - I held her and cried for 90% of that last week off. At the same time, my leave actually felt a lot longer than I expected to. I think I was as ready as you ever are to leave your new baby for the first time!

That being said, I don't plan on ever taking a full 12 weeks again. I went back to work on May 1, a Tuesday. On May 4, the Friday, I tore my ACL. I took another week and a half off because I couldn't walk up stairs (my school is a 5 floor walk-up) and thankfully had the sick leave to cover it (with like, 3 days to spare). I needed surgery that we were able to delay until the summer because my surgeon wanted me to do PT as pre-hab anyway. But before I got that information from him, I was PANICKED. I carry my family's insurance, and I was so scared that if I needed surgery right away, either it wouldn't be covered or my family wouldn't be covered, or we'd have to go on my husband's insurance which would costs us nearly a grand more than mine does (which is $0). So I won't be using all of my FMLA time again ever if I can avoid it - I need the safety net! Not trying to fear monger, just telling a story from the other side of Murphy's Law.

llamamamanyc · October 2018

Good for you, @batmama31!! We live far away from our families, otherwise, my MIL would quit her job in a heartbeat to be a full time Nana!!

jennb85 · October 2018

@kangstadt I'll have to look into it. We just moved to Wyoming a year and a half ago, so I don't know. I don't remember seeing anything when we were looking at health insurance options when I was looking for a job here. We'll have to check that out and see. Thanks!

professormama · October 2018

I’m not taking maternity leave because my institution only offers FMLA, and then requires that I pick up my employers portion of my healthcare - meaning I’d have to actually pay $750 a month to take leave. I’m teaching online, so I’ll finish out my semester. Then I’ll have the summer off - so that will be my leave. It will just start 3-5 weeks after the baby is born... My husband gets way better leave than I do. He gets 12 weeks off. So he’s going to take it after I go back to work in the fall. Then I’ll get Christmas break off. So we will start needing childcare in January. All in all it’s a pretty fortunate situation. Though I really wish I had actual paid maternity leave stating when the baby is born.
I say take as much time off as humanly possible.

happymoni21 · October 2018

Folks, it is breaking my Canadian heart to see how little maternity you guys are getting in the USA. I always understood the legal landscape but kind of assumed some employers must offer significantly more...

Any other Canadian ladies here trying to decide between taking the 12 month or 18 month leave, or something in between? (American ladies don't hate us!)

mermaidca · October 2018

@happymoni21 Canadian here too and didn't want to comment but it's making my blood boil. I can't believe a country as "advanced" as America has such a joke of a parental leave policy. There's a different thread for Canadians where we talked about leave and which one would be better. I don't want to clog this thread up with it. I'll tag you in it if I can find it again.

happymoni21 · October 2018

@mermaidca Perfect, thanks so much!

sheknows6 · October 2018

@happymoni21 and @mermaidca *whispers from underneath the crushing weight of our institutionalized misogyny* luckyyyyyyy

thatbaintforbetty · October 2018

Trust me @mermaidca we can’t fucking believe it’s this shitty either.

Bitter table for all American moms please. I laugh and try not to cry anytime anyone says anything about how great America is. Especially these days. If I could financially figure out a way to move to Canada I would in a heartbeat.

happymoni21 · October 2018

@thatbaintforbetty You have my full support!

I grew up in the USA so I truly do get it (moved to Canada at 18 for university because I had dual-citizenship and good schools up here are so much cheaper.) I was recently back in Philly for a couple years for graduate school and while I loved Philly and there were some things I really loved about being in the USA, my then fiance, now Hubs, is Canadian and couldn't handle the idea of moving here in the current climate. That and we realized it would be financially reckless of us to have kids in the USA when we could do it in Canada.

I did however often tease then fiance that if he would be happy being common law, we could make a lot of money selling our hands in marriage to Americans seeking to move to Canada

Edited to say: I will stop derailing the mat leave thread, my apologies ladies!

lin0442 · October 2018

No but you see in america our politicians care about ~~family values~~ (ha.)

My employer is huge and could absolutely afford to do more for us, but they don’t have to so they won’t. Instead, moms make do or try to get their babies placed in daycare at about 3 months old, then come back to work to empty paychecks (because they take out your health insurance premiums that you ‘owe’ them over the past weeks).

jeaniebeans · October 2018

happymoni21 said:

Folks, it is breaking my Canadian heart to see how little maternity you guys are getting in the USA. I always understood the legal landscape but kind of assumed some employers must offer significantly more...

Any other Canadian ladies here trying to decide between taking the 12 month or 18 month leave, or something in between? (American ladies don't hate us!)

I don’t hate you. I hate us. For not caring enough about moms and families. I’ll get 6 months paid including my ST disability leave here in the US. It is only because I am in an industry that has made a commitment to retaining women after they start a family (to very limited success). I’m grateful for this privilege, but heartbroken that so many other women (many who need it much more than my privileged ass) get so little.

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