@flamingomomma stay strong. This is the right decision. If he wants to get you back in the future, like others said he can make the necessary changes on his own. Therapy for him would be a great thing from the sounds of it. But this is your time to get out and keep yourself and your kids safe. Don't give in, he won't change if you just give in.
@flamingomomma Eyes on the prize! Every time his tears start getting to you just imagine the future that you’re setting up for those kids. (Andplusalso be ready for your H to flip a switch and be a huge jerk. It’ll happen, but no telling how soon.)
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@flamingomomma this is not your fault! You deserve to take care of yourself and your kids. He does not get your pity. You can do this. You are doing the right thing.
Just here to cheer you on. What you're doing is so hard but so valuable, and we are all in your corner. Stay safe and please keep us updated so we know you're okay
@flamingomomma Thinking of you and hoping you are all safe and that everything went as well as possible when you got home yesterday. Update us when you can. If you need help identifying resources in your area, I might be able to help. Feel free to PM me.
@flamingomomma Hang in there! Remember - you are not responsible for anyone’s happiness, you are not responsible for anyone’s reactions and emotions. Every individual is responsible for themselves. And being a POS has consequences ... walking away from a toxic marriage was THE best thing I ever did for myself. Ultimately only you know if it’s worth trying to work things out - can’t remember if you’ve been through counseling or not. Hope you can find some peace this weekend.
@flamingomomma stay safe and good luck! I will be thinking of you today and hoping that you are able to do what is best for you and baby. You are strong and capable!
Just checking in to see how you’re doing. I’ve been thinking about you. I agree that the tears are definitely manipulation and I pray he didn’t turn violent. A friend of mine from my May group is going through something similar, she was supposed to leave on Wednesday but then her DH threatened to destroy her things and never see the children again. So she stayed. She claims she is leaving for good when she goes to see her family next month but who knows. They always promise they’ll change but they don’t. Please do what’s best for you and your children but know we are here to support you!! *big hugs*
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
I’m okay physically. He’s just been begging. Pulling out all the cards, things he will do. He won’t take no for an answer. He thinks we can do XYZ. I think it’s two years too late. I’ve been in bed all day, just sobbing. I didn’t think it would be this hard or devastating. ❤️❤️ Thank you for checking on me
I’m so sorry it’s so hard for you! My ex-h had a very similar reaction until he realized I was serious and then the tables turned. Stay strong, you’re doing the right thing!!
Thinking of you today! How are you doing? Keep remembering you’re doing the right thing for you AND your boys. Just a few days until you can get out of that house and you will feel so much better without him manipulating you.
My gosh I’m sorry I’m so delayed on seeing this thread. All the ladies have been giving you so much awesome advice. Just wanted to let you know I think you are SO strong and you are amazing. Keep us updated and thinking about you!
Hi all! Rough day yesterday, ds2 ended up in children’s hospital. Dx asthma (never had before, strong family history) he’s still having breathing issues. Just one thing after another. Only 4 more days! H hasn’t been awful, I’m hoping we can start to work on a good parenting plan.
@flamingomomma Sorry to hear about your son's asthma! Glad they were able to make a dx though. Did he get an inhaler or any other meds? Glad DH hasn't been too bad. Counting down the days with you! Hope the rest of the week goes smoothly!
Me: 33, DH: 41 Started IF Feb. 2014 PCOS & MFI (low sperm count and motility) 3 Femara cycles w/natural intercourse over summer 2014, BFN 1 Clomid cycle w/natural intercourse Nov. 2014, BFN IUI March 2015, BFN IUI June 2015, BFN IUI Oct. 2015, BFN IVF Oct. 2016, fresh transfer, 2 day-3 embryos, BFN; nothing to freeze IVF Nov. 2017, fresh transfer, 2 day-5 blasts, BFP; ectopic; 1 blast frozen FET March 2018, 1 day-5 blast, BFP!
@flamingomomma how scary for you to end up in the hospital with dear son, but glad he was diagnosed and it's asthma and not something worse. Bonus that you're hopeful for a parenting plan. Happy to hear you're doing well and are safe.
Hi! I’m hangin in here. Not balancing well. Trying to work and situate and do all the things I have to get done. It’s so overwhelming. H is still upset, and I’m still drowning in guilt. I hope it gets easier, I can’t imagine it feeling this awful for a while
@flamingomomma I’ve been thinking about you! I’m sorry about your sons asthma but that’s good it has been diagnosed and now you can treat it. Sorry about the guilt, it WILL get easier. Just remember you’re doing what’s best for you and your kids.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
@flamingomomma thanks for keeping us updated. I'm sure managing all you've got on your plate is difficult, but you can do it. The guilt is normal, but remind yourself that he had PLENTY of time to change before you made up your mind and he didn't. I am sorry your struggling with it though. **hugs!**
I'm so glad that you have decided you deserve better. A mama from my D14 group with my first born was in a toxic relationship and gave him years to fix himself and it wasn't until she left that he decided he may want to try. By then, it was too late for her and he ended up becoming a giant a$$. Gaslighting, emotional abuse, etc. That was a year ago and she is in such an amazing place right now! It was tough for her in the beginning but she had an amazing support system and powered through it. You are going to feel so great one day and wonder how you ever put up with all that crap and that's going to be an amazing day. Until then, know that you have a whole tribe here online to support you!!
@flamingomomma Eeeeee! I'm so excited for this huge step into your new life
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@flamingomomma It will eventually get better I promise and you’ll be so proud of yourself for the strength you never knew you had when you look back on everything. Listening to your heart even when it seems impossible is always the right thing to do. Hang in there lady!!
@flamingomomma wow! Today is finally here! I am so happy for you that you are strong enough to take this huge, scary step for yourself and your boys. Have a good move. Let us know when you get settled!
You are stronger than most and you are being a role model. Thank you for sharing your journey and fears in this process. I'm so happy that you're excited to start over, that's the key, the fact you are so scared but still feel the new beginning is worth it all. Remember that, remember that feeling. Stay strong.
Thinking of you tonight! I think looking back you will think of this as a great day even if it doesn’t feel like it now. Good luck! Can you let us know when you’re safely in your new home if you can?
Re: The great MEgration
DS2 due 12/12/18
(Andplusalso be ready for your H to flip a switch and be a huge jerk. It’ll happen, but no telling how soon.)
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Please do what’s best for you and your children but know we are here to support you!! *big hugs*
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!All the ladies have been giving you so much awesome advice. Just wanted to let you know I think you are SO strong and you are amazing.
Keep us updated and thinking about you!
Started IF Feb. 2014
PCOS & MFI (low sperm count and motility)
3 Femara cycles w/natural intercourse over summer 2014, BFN
1 Clomid cycle w/natural intercourse Nov. 2014, BFN
IUI March 2015, BFN
IUI June 2015, BFN
IUI Oct. 2015, BFN
IVF Oct. 2016, fresh transfer, 2 day-3 embryos, BFN; nothing to freeze
IVF Nov. 2017, fresh transfer, 2 day-5 blasts, BFP; ectopic; 1 blast frozen
FET March 2018, 1 day-5 blast, BFP!
DS2 due 12/12/18
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!You are going to feel so great one day and wonder how you ever put up with all that crap and that's going to be an amazing day. Until then, know that you have a whole tribe here online to support you!!
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
DS2 due 12/12/18