I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life, but since I became pregnant, I'd been doing well. I'm now 29 weeks and really starting to struggle with them again, and it's been rough. It comes out through uncontrollable sobbing and straight up anger. Anyone else dealing with it? I don't even feel like I can talk to anyone about it because I'm supposed to be "happy" and "excited" and I don't want people to think I'm a horrible person/Mom to be.
Re: Depression & Anxiety
What I didn't realize at the time was that what I experienced was every bit as much a terrible symptom/complication of pregnancy as hyperemesis gravidarum or pre-eclampsia; and just like those things say nothing about the kind of mother you'll be, so too depression and anxiety during pregnancy don't correlate to how great a parent you'll be or how much you love your baby. And as isolating as it feels to be the only person you know who really hates being pregnant, you're not alone. There are more of us out there, suffering silently so as to avoid judgement, then you realize.
For what it's worth, it did help me when I started feeling really negatively towards that thing growing inside me to separate it in my head from the daughter who was coming. The actual thing in my uterus I thought of as just "the fetus." Maggie never bothered me or kicked me or was the target of my negative thoughts; that was the fetus. And sure enough, when Maggie was born, that negativity didn't carry over. I despised the fetus; i loved Maggie from the beginning (almost... it did take some time for my raw instinctual desire to care for her to turn into the love I know now, which is pretty common). And even though postpartum depression also hit me like a ton of bricks, I'm a damn good mom, if I do say so myself.
It's going to be okay. You are not alone and you're going to be great ♥️♥️
My pregnancy was an accident, my ex and I ended up sleeping together one last time after we broke up, and despite my doctor telling me my ovarian reserve and PCOS would make it very difficult even with IVF, I got pregnant. We're not back together, and despite my odds of natural conception being next to none, he thinks I got pregnant on purpose, so of course we don't particularly care for one another anymore and being a single Mom was never in my plan for my life. I thought that was my issue, but this has become very deep and I'm struggling every day.
I see my doctor in 2 weeks so I'll mention it to her and see what she thinks. Thank you again! ❤️
I will say that there are good options to help you not feel so awful. Talk therapy can help, as can medication. And many medications are very reasonable to consider taking during pregnancy. It’s much better for baby’s development (as well as for your own well-being) for you to get treated than not.
I wound up taking an antidepressant for anxiety during my first pregnancy and postpartum. It helped *a lot*. This time I am feeling fine, but would not hesitate to restart if needed.
For me, it's personally hard to connect with this little guy in my belly. I'm not sure about you ladies, but he doesn't necessarily feel like a human being yet. I know he's kicking and moving and developing a little personality in there, but I just don't feel this overwhelming love for him that I hear many women experience. The whole "you become a mom when you become pregnant" concept just doesn't fit with me. When I am in a good place emotionally, I'm very excited to meet my little jellybean and get to know him, but a lot of the time, I am too focused on the aches and pains and the stress of it all.
Long story short: I feel you, girl.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018