UO Thursday 9/20

rosebud332 · September 2018

rosebud332 · September 2018

My lame-o UO is that I think sushi is just ok. I’ll eat it on occasion and it’s acceptable food to me (certain kinds), but when people say it’s “delicious,” I really feel like I must be missing something.

lavenderlisa · September 2018

Messy children are not cute.......i never let my son rub food all over his face because it's gross........ that is all

ebk20 · September 2018

I dont think that finding out the sex of your baby helps you "plan" for your child. I'm so sick of people telling me "oh I couldn't stand not finding out what I'm having, I'm too much of a planner." What does that even mean? So I'm not a planner because we are waiting to find out? Newsflash, boy or girl, as newborns, they need the exact same shit and you take care of them the exact same way.

Jens_Hoes · September 2018

@lavenderlisa I mean my daughter gets food all over her face but she is 15 months, so we're working on it. I clean her up immediately, and if we're in public I try to pick less messy foods (grilled cheese as opposed to pasta and red sauce)

@ebk20 we are team green this time around and we have everything we need but clothes sort of. I'm not going to buy anything if we have a girl because I have it all. I have no shame in taking baby boy home in something slightly girly and going from there. But yes, I agree. and I think it is stupid to get gendered stuff anyways, why get a pink swing if you know you are having more than one kid.

hkom · September 2018

@rosebud332 Ooohhh *climbs onto soapbox*. I enjoy sushi but I eat it maybe a few times a year as a treat and will pretty much only go to one or two places that I trust (just say no to places that offer "half-priced sushi", please). Sushi consumption is just so rampant (I know a lot of people who eat it at least weekly) and it's killing the oceans. So many of the most popular fish are seriously threatened or well on their way, or they rely on disgusting fish farms (I'm looking at you, Atlantic salmon). It's just not worth it to me and I wish everyone else would wake up before we irreversibly destroy more fisheries.

lavenderlisa · September 2018

@Jens_Hoes oh no no i dont mean that, kids will inevitably get messy. I mean when parents let them get messy on purpose, like a smash cake on their first birthday, or taking pictures with them smeared in nutella. Thats gross to me.

PensiveCrayon · September 2018

I think I'm sort of sick of sushi just because of the prevalence of meh sushi and eating it too often. I'll have to take you up on your strategy @hkom, and only eat it from very nice sushi places as a super duper rare treat. I think that will help both the ocean issue and my own issue of being tired of it. (Which, by the way, I hate this about myself. Apparently I'm also sick of baklava, because we used to get big platters of treats whenever we went to the Greek Fest in Vegas.)

hkom · September 2018

@PensiveCrayon you can send me all of your baklava that you don't want

And yeah, most sushi is just blah.

LLynde5 · September 2018

Re: sushi
I haven’t had really, really good sushi since I moved from Maine. That being said I eatvit way less and basically a vehicle for heavily mixed wasabi and soy sauce. I kinda feel the same about most shell fish, it’s just a vehicle for drawn butter. Maine spoiled me and I may never be the same.

@hkom 100% agree with Atlantic Salmon.

My UO is I truly believe my husband is the better parent and I’m okay with that. I think women force themselves to take the lead in all things parenting. *ducks flames*

It’s no slight to my awesome parenting skills. He has a background in behavioral counseling and when my sweet little girl pushes all my buttons, I love having a strong yet kind husband to back me up or talk me down!! Also I can be very hard on myself and I feel like I am failing her at times, My biggest fear is she will see or learn this behavior. Luckily her daddy is there to help keep balance and recognizes when I need a break. He claims I do the same for him but I can’t see it as much!!

clbness · September 2018

@LLynde5 that's so sweet. Sounds like you guys make a great team!

re: sushi I think I also ate waaaay too much of it in a 14 year span and completely wore myself out on it. I also realized that there are so many other delicious types of food out there (like Vietnamese and Korean) and took a step back from Japanese. I still enjoy it once in a great while though. Buuuuut, now I'm going to run off to get Korean for lunch today.

rosebud332 · September 2018

I was just reading something and wondering if this is a UO so here you go. I think it’s totally ridiculous to have one of your children have a ton of input on a baby’s name, to the point that you wouldn’t use a name if they didn’t like it. I MIGHT ask my kid’s opinion on a name or ask what names they like, but I wouldn’t base my decision on their answer. They’ll get over it!

morgantu · September 2018

@ebk20 yassssss! I don't begrudge people for finding out, you do you, but just because i don't know the sex doesn't mean i haven't planned for the baby.... the nursery is fully planned, i have clothes/toys/ etc. oh i could go on. but yes, just yes.

@LLynde5 as a person who anticipates mh to be a "power parent" it is really reassuring to hear you say that. I have doubts about my patience and I really think H is going to be a rockstar. Not to mention that i have been actively been splitting responsibilities with him re: parenting even through the pregnancy. He is researching pediatricians and setting up interviews for us as we speak.

runrinserepeat · September 2018

@rosebud332 when we found out this baby was a boy, I (stupidly) asked the kids, "how about we call him Will?", without really thinking of the implications if they hadn't liked it. I should have just said, "we'll call him Will" Lord knows I learned long ago that you don't ask kids a question if there's only one right answer. Thankfully, they didn't think much about it and were just happy to give him a name, so it hasn't been an issue.

I know someone who let her older child name her younger child. And it's... weird, to put it mildly.

echo-charlietango · September 2018

@lavenderlisa Agree! When I see a messy kid, I want to attack them with soap & water.
@ebk20 Agree! We’ve been planning for this babe just fine without ultra-gendered crap.
@hkom Sustainability does concern me, it’s one of the reasons we don’t eat sushi often despite loving it. If you ever get the chance to enjoy sashimi in Tsukiji - DO IT. So. Good. Japan. I just read that the market is moving later this month, and the new location won't have the outer market

So good that I need to spoiler a photo of my birthday breakfast last year (inner market) - I got the Chef’s Special sashimi plate and it was amazeballs, DH got the "rainbow salmon" plate. Sushi that fresh can't be beat.

@rosebud332 I agree! I think that naming kids is a privilege of parents, and older children shouldn’t have any input.

PensiveCrayon · September 2018

Hehe the kids naming the baby thing reminds me of one of my favorite books I read for grad school, Anastasia Krupnik. For whatever reason the parents ask her what she wants to name her baby brother and she says “One-Ball Reilly” because it’s something she heard from the “bad” kid at school that she had a crush on.

katy0990 · September 2018

Re: Sushi I also think it’s okay, but if I never ate it again, I wouldn’t miss it.
@lavenderlisa I was going to say exactly what @Jens_Hoes said. We clean DS ip when he gets messy, but he is 2, so it happens. I love first birthday smash cakes, though.
@llynde5 That is great that you are willing to be objective enough to admit that and not turn it into a competition.
@rosebud332 People let their older child name their sibling. That is crazy! You are the parent.
@ebk20, @jens_hoes, @morgantu I couldn’t agree more! I am very type A and we have been team green with both pregnancies. I have had no problem planning either time. We did a gender neutral nursery last time with the intention of reusing it for our other children. I do not understand people needing to buy gender specific gear if the plan on having multiple children. What a waste! I absolutely hate when people tell me they are too much of a planner to be team green. It annoys me so much!

scaredunprepared · September 2018

From an OT perspective, be happy your kids aren't afraid to play with their food! Some kids legit won't touch certain textures, so even though it's gross, try your hardest not to scold kiddos for playing with food and making a mess. I'll stop preaching now

westcoastfoodie · September 2018

@scaredunprepared That's totally my son. He's 2 and hates getting dirty and messy foods. It makes me crazy because he will not eat anything

I wish he would explore foods, tastes and textures more.

scaredunprepared · September 2018

@westcoastfoodie I'm sorry that your son is a difficult eater. Wishing it was easier for you! Know you're not alone, though.

breadit124 · September 2018

@lavenderlisa totally agree. Making a mess at the table is a normal thing small kids do that you’re meant to gently teach them not to do. There is a weird trend right now of celebrating messy eating that I find so odd. Who wants all that clean up? :-)

zoepac · September 2018

@scaredunprepared I was going to also jump in and say this! @lavenderlisa my son is probably the kid on the playground you cringe at- messy hair, food all over his face and clothes. But he's 2 with ASD and major sensory issues about food. Others may see strawberries all over his face where I see months of hard fought OT feeding therapy to get him to even touch them! Heck if I could get him to willingly touch a cake or Nutella let alone smear it on himself I'd be a happy camper

LLynde5 · September 2018

Re: messy kids

While I have always tried to avoid food in my DD’s hair, the learning curve for self feeding is and can be messy. We do not allow food to be thrown or dropped even though there are two dogs that don’t let it hit the floor. My pet peeve isn’t the messy kid while eating, it’s the parents that don’t clean up after their children and wipe their faces and hands. I can’t stand sticky. Our daycare is very good about clean hands and faces but it maybe after I explained how unacceptable it is to have my kid returned sticky. She has sensitive skin and will break out, which may make me slightly crazy about a nice clean face!!

To add, don’t get me started on runny noses. I will glady share a boogie wipe with a stranger. Your kid can’t be comfortable with snot crusted or runny down their face. I swear I am nice about it and usually the mom is grateful because they have ran out!

hkom · September 2018

@LLynde5 Ahh snotty/boogery kids make me want to scream. I have a huge aversion to nose stuff for some reason. Poop, pee, puke all don't phase me too much, but snot and boogers make me gag just thinking about it. It'll be a struggle but this kid will have the cleanest nose in town haha.

lavenderlisa · September 2018

I think im being misunderstood. Like i said before, children getting messy while they eat is inevitable. Thats not where my problem is. Its when parents let them sit with crap all over them because its "cute". Or have photo shoots with stuff all over them cause its "cute". I also have a picky eater, he wont eat alot of things because of the texture, like ANY pasta, beef, ect. He basically lived off waffles and bananas the first year of his life, and he HATES for his hands to be dirty. So believe me i know the struggle. My kid, like everyone elses, gets dirty when they eat. But i have never scolded him for it so i dont know where anyone would get that i do that. I simply wait until hes done and i clean him. Also +1 on snotty noses!!!! I gag at ds everytime i wipe his nose but i refuse to have a snotty caked bugger baby blahh.

PensiveCrayon · September 2018

@lavenderlisa I’m the person you’re criticizing

(Don’t worry, I’m not taking it personally at all!) I was just looking at a picture of the time I gave my son prunes at around 8 months. It was an absolute massacre and I had to take a few photos before cleaning him up!

That said, I’m VERY happy he’s reached the stage where eating isn’t super messy because I just don’t have the patience to give him a wipe bath and hose down the kitchen after every meal. I also sometimes wonder if he’s sensitive to textures or if his pickiness is just normal toddler pickiness. He really won’t touch vegetables, and has lost his taste for yogurt. But he’s great with finger foods like cheese, crackers, fruit, etc.

rosebud332 · September 2018

I have definitely snapped a few messy food pics in my time. Sometimes I think they’re funny and I’m also generally that mom who just always thinks her kid is cute.

One time my dh made the mistake of sending his sister a picture of our kid with food on her face and she said back, “Not everyone thinks that’s cute.” Lol! We didn’t do that again.

+1 to hating stickiness so she does get a wipe down when she’s done. And a hair wash at the end of the day most of the time because now she likes to put her fork in her hair (why?).

zoepac · September 2018

@lavenderlisa I hope you didn't take my comment as anything other than just a gentle reminder that we are all doing the best we can in what can often be unseen circumstances. Before I had a special needs child I had a lot of thoughts on the kind of parent I would be (pet peeve of mine is kids screaming in restaurants) but a lot of that has gone out the window. I have no clue if someone would immediately recognize that my son has ASD and maybe that's why he's covered in snot/food. His sensory issues are extreme which means wiping his face/hands is often a battle- one that can often end with him self harming. I'm totally guilty of letting his nose run if it means he/I get ten more minutes of playground time before I have to fight him/deal with a meltdown. We work on these issues almost 40 hrs a week between his ABA, SLP, OT, and feeding therapy and hopefully one day we will get him to wipe his face himself

LLynde5 · September 2018

@zoepac you are 100% right that everyone’s circumstances are different. I am a firm believe you have to pick your battles with babies/children and as the parent you know what’s best for your kiddo!! I also don’t think anyone gets upset on this thread because they are UO.

However, you got me thinking of all the things I didn’t think I would do as a mom! I feel like that needs to be a new thread!

lavenderlisa · September 2018

No offense taken from anyone, please dont think that. I understand everyones circumstances are different and we all do the best we can. Also no judgement on other moms. I do whats best for me and ds. As long as your babies are happy and healthy thats all that matters. I just wanted to explain myself, and i certainly didnt want anyone to think i scold ds for being dirty.

Jens_Hoes · September 2018

rosebud332 said:

+1 to hating stickiness so she does get a wipe down when she’s done. And a hair wash at the end of the day most of the time because now she likes to put her fork in her hair (why?).

It's because she think's she Ariel!

scaredunprepared · September 2018

@lavenderlisa sorry I'm the one who used the word "scold" in my post. I never meant to imply that you do! I just am extra sensitive to the sensory issues surrounding feeding, and I actually have seen parents scolding (or worse) when their kids finally DO get messy and play with food. Like why did you bring them to me for therapy if you aren't able to see what a victory this is??? I am so sorry it came off that way! I just want to make others aware that messy isn't always a bad thing. It means kiddo is exploring and trying new things, and that in itself can be a blessing. No offense meant at all.

gorgeousariel · September 2018

@hkom I was definitely the same with noses. I would look at a kid with a runny nose and just cringe. I will say it does it better (?) And it's not SOO gross now. But yes I would take pee or poop all day over a runny nose.

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